Human DNA Trees

October 14, 2005 6:36 PM

Biopresence creates human DNA trees by transcoding the DNA of a human within the DNA of a tree in order to create "Living Memorials" or "Transgenic Tombstones".
posted by stbalbach (20 comments total)

I'd like to be a redwood tree.
posted by stbalbach at 6:39 PM on October 14, 2005

That's one of the few things I wanted to buy in a long time.
posted by 517 at 6:48 PM on October 14, 2005

I'd like my DNA to be spliced into some mesquite, so I could grill some trout over myself.
posted by ColdChef at 6:50 PM on October 14, 2005

Does this mean you could have a real bush as president?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 6:52 PM on October 14, 2005

"So if you could be any kind of tree..."
posted by Verdant at 6:56 PM on October 14, 2005

Didn't they do that the other way around with Al Gore?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:22 PM on October 14, 2005

That tree on the front page has sprouted a humanlike growth. Proof that this process should be outlawed!
posted by acetonic at 8:02 PM on October 14, 2005

Well, alright but make sure you use a broom stick to check for bees first.

Actually this is kind of a really nice idea. I'd go redwood or bristlecone pine.
posted by fenriq at 8:32 PM on October 14, 2005

A couple years ago there was a trans-genetic experiment that transferred the bioluminescence genes from a firefly into an animal (was it a rabbit?). Saturday Night Live joked that "the results were reported in this week's edition of The New England Journal of Evil.

This is certainly an interesting idea, for certain creepy values of "interesting".
posted by AsYouKnow Bob at 8:33 PM on October 14, 2005

I'd really like to have this done for me. A nice long lived tree located in a valley somewhere away from everything. Maybe a cedar grove.

However, that being said, I'm disappointed that most great ideas like this are nothing more than viral marketing for movies. I mean, why the 'consequences' circle? Doom? Resident Evil 3?
posted by jcterminal at 9:44 PM on October 14, 2005

Think of the endorsement potential. You'll sleep in a bed made from Aishwarya Rai rosewood, buy a limited edition Kournikova coffee table, or work at a Johnny Depp desk. I'll have the coffin made from Gwyneth Paltrow pine, please.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:46 PM on October 14, 2005

I think that I shall never be,
A poem lovely as a tree?

(But now I can be a tree, at least.)

Apologies to Kilmer.
posted by trigonometry at 10:21 PM on October 14, 2005

Use the tree to make paper for a genealogy. DNA for the family, encoded in the paper.
posted by tvjunkie at 10:24 PM on October 14, 2005

That's a cool idea tvjunkie. A geneological tree on a tree from that geneology.
posted by painquale at 10:40 PM on October 14, 2005

Pity the poor lumberjack who has to cut you down. All that screaming...
posted by Cranberry at 12:26 AM on October 15, 2005

Maybe the lumberjack wouldn't mind cutting you down because you scream all the time, for no good reason.
posted by timb at 6:40 AM on October 15, 2005

I believe the exact quote is:

"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason." - Jack Handy

But still good...
posted by blue_beetle at 6:47 AM on October 15, 2005

How healthy is a tree with human DNA in it? I'm not sure I want a sickly runt of a tree for a memorial when I die, or a tree with three heads (or indeed even one).

Now, a tree that grew 900 feet tall and took over an entire city might be cool.
posted by Foosnark at 7:58 AM on October 15, 2005

It really bugs me how people still equate DNA with the essence of a person, or the human spirit.
posted by parallax7d at 9:33 AM on October 15, 2005

I can't wait for the next generation of CSI television shows. What will their genetic labs look like then?

Wood chippers, I presume.
posted by maxsparber at 9:50 AM on October 15, 2005