"A little bit like Superman."
May 24, 2006 8:11 AM Subscribe
Bill Frist <3s gorillas. I find this quite charming.
I wonder if he diagnoses them by viewing blurry videotapes.
posted by Makoto at 8:20 AM on May 24, 2006
posted by Makoto at 8:20 AM on May 24, 2006
"I fell in love with him in his scrub suit, with blood splattered on his clogs. I see him doing that, almost more than as a politician."
I'm not sure his wife really understands what he does as a politician. Aside from the clogs the blood splatter is everywhere.
(It is cool that he works at the zoo.)
posted by OmieWise at 8:24 AM on May 24, 2006
I'm not sure his wife really understands what he does as a politician. Aside from the clogs the blood splatter is everywhere.
(It is cool that he works at the zoo.)
posted by OmieWise at 8:24 AM on May 24, 2006
He did practice on cats he adopted from shelters. Maybe it's his way of "giving back"?
posted by Eekacat at 8:25 AM on May 24, 2006
posted by Eekacat at 8:25 AM on May 24, 2006
Frist smiled and spoke unremarkably from the lectern, reeking of silverback testosterone.
So, this Laura Blumenfeld, I take it she's on board for Frist in 2008.
posted by felix betachat at 8:25 AM on May 24, 2006
If it wasn't for the photograph, I'd swear this was some kind of satirical column.
posted by petri at 8:35 AM on May 24, 2006
posted by petri at 8:35 AM on May 24, 2006
This is one of the creepiest things that I've read in quite awhile. While I would truly like to admire his work at the zoo, his quotes in this article make him sound like a megalomaniac.
Good thing he's letting off steam holding beating hearts in his hand at the zoo instead of letting off steam as a sociopathic serial killer. (Which is what I thought of as I read this article.)
posted by leftcoastbob at 8:38 AM on May 24, 2006
Good thing he's letting off steam holding beating hearts in his hand at the zoo instead of letting off steam as a sociopathic serial killer. (Which is what I thought of as I read this article.)
posted by leftcoastbob at 8:38 AM on May 24, 2006
Bill Frist 2008: The Right Choice (for gorillas, the unborn, and the brain dead)
posted by gigawhat? at 8:39 AM on May 24, 2006
posted by gigawhat? at 8:39 AM on May 24, 2006
Charming?
He climbed into the back of his black SUV; his driver steered toward the zoo. "I gravitate towards insurmountable problems," Frist said, his long legs spilling between the front seats. "I try to use creative solutions." One day, he hopes to cure AIDS or cancer. He sucked on the stem of his glasses: "The typical person around here may not understand."
For a puff piece, it sure makes him look like even more of a prick....
posted by mkultra at 8:40 AM on May 24, 2006
He climbed into the back of his black SUV; his driver steered toward the zoo. "I gravitate towards insurmountable problems," Frist said, his long legs spilling between the front seats. "I try to use creative solutions." One day, he hopes to cure AIDS or cancer. He sucked on the stem of his glasses: "The typical person around here may not understand."
For a puff piece, it sure makes him look like even more of a prick....
posted by mkultra at 8:40 AM on May 24, 2006
Well, Christ. I was all ready to continue hating the man. Even though it all reeks of media stunt and the sweat of silverback gorillas, I must admit that I'm impressed. It takes a hell of a master plan for someone so evil to fly to Africa a couple times a year to perform heart surgery. Hat's off to you, Senator.... this time.
posted by The White Hat at 8:40 AM on May 24, 2006
posted by The White Hat at 8:40 AM on May 24, 2006
My wife just graduated medical school and she never murdered a single living thing. Either medical training has changed a whole lot in the last 30 years, or Frist went to Evil Medical School.
Medical training may have changed a whole lot. Dog labs were once common. Pigs have been widely used to teach Advanced Trauma Life Support classes. Anesthetized kittens have been used to teach how to handle the human infant airway in Pediatric Advanced Life Support. One of my cats I adopted out of a PALS course that was undersubscribed, had a couple of kittens left over.
The trend today is to minimize animal use, and to use freshly killed animals if possible, rather than anesthetized ones.
Also, is your wife a surgeon? Dog labs make the most sense for physicians who need to know how to do procedures on living tissue. A rheumatologist or pediatrician may not need them.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 8:41 AM on May 24, 2006 [1 favorite]
Medical training may have changed a whole lot. Dog labs were once common. Pigs have been widely used to teach Advanced Trauma Life Support classes. Anesthetized kittens have been used to teach how to handle the human infant airway in Pediatric Advanced Life Support. One of my cats I adopted out of a PALS course that was undersubscribed, had a couple of kittens left over.
The trend today is to minimize animal use, and to use freshly killed animals if possible, rather than anesthetized ones.
Also, is your wife a surgeon? Dog labs make the most sense for physicians who need to know how to do procedures on living tissue. A rheumatologist or pediatrician may not need them.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 8:41 AM on May 24, 2006 [1 favorite]
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/12/17/politics/main1134721.shtml
(AP) Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist's AIDS charity paid nearly a half-million dollars in consulting fees to members of his political inner circle, according to tax returns providing the first financial accounting of the presidential hopeful's nonprofit.
posted by beccaj at 8:41 AM on May 24, 2006
(AP) Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist's AIDS charity paid nearly a half-million dollars in consulting fees to members of his political inner circle, according to tax returns providing the first financial accounting of the presidential hopeful's nonprofit.
posted by beccaj at 8:41 AM on May 24, 2006
Contrast
posted by adamrice at 8:45 AM on May 24, 2006
One day, he hopes to cure AIDS or cancerwith
After telling Stephanopoulos he "didn't know" if HIV could be transmitted through tears or sweat, Dr. Frist went on to say that transmission of HIV through tears or sweat "would be very hard .... I mean, you can get virus in tears and sweat but in terms of the degree of infecting somebody, it would be very hard." (NOTE: full transcript pasted below.)Sounds like Dr Frist is starting with a handicap on that whole curing-AIDS thing.
But according to the Centers for Disease Control, “[c]ontact with saliva, tears, or sweat has never been shown to result in transmission of HIV.”
posted by adamrice at 8:45 AM on May 24, 2006
Wow, and here I was thinking, "y'know, I don't think the Washington Post could suck up to the current administration any more." Boy, was I wrong! The Post's gonna need a whole box of Kleenex to get the crap of their noses for this one.
An anti-abortion, pro-vivisection doctor-for-profit - a hypocrite. A doctor who thinks giving a diagnosis based solely on a television image, with no examination or information, is a good idea. A doctor who screwed children out of flu vaccine so that he could give it to other members of Congress. A doctor who used 9/11 to sell a scare book about bioterrorism.
He's done some good, too, but he always manages to use his good deeds as leverage, as "political capital", to do stupid stuff.
This chucklehead is one of those who promised to leave office after two terms. Let's see if he keeps it.
posted by FormlessOne at 8:47 AM on May 24, 2006
An anti-abortion, pro-vivisection doctor-for-profit - a hypocrite. A doctor who thinks giving a diagnosis based solely on a television image, with no examination or information, is a good idea. A doctor who screwed children out of flu vaccine so that he could give it to other members of Congress. A doctor who used 9/11 to sell a scare book about bioterrorism.
He's done some good, too, but he always manages to use his good deeds as leverage, as "political capital", to do stupid stuff.
This chucklehead is one of those who promised to leave office after two terms. Let's see if he keeps it.
posted by FormlessOne at 8:47 AM on May 24, 2006
So, this Laura Blumenfeld, I take it she's on board for Frist in 2008.
He unbuttoned his business shirt, revealing jungle-pattern surgical scrubs and a pair of hairy, toned biceps.All signs point to Yes.
posted by kirkaracha at 8:50 AM on May 24, 2006
He unbuttoned his business shirt, revealing jungle-pattern surgical scrubs and a pair of hairy, toned biceps...
Frist smiled and spoke unremarkably from the lectern, reeking of silverback testosterone.
Yuck.
posted by leftcoastbob at 8:59 AM on May 24, 2006
Frist smiled and spoke unremarkably from the lectern, reeking of silverback testosterone.
Yuck.
posted by leftcoastbob at 8:59 AM on May 24, 2006
wow. that post reporter must have had to camp outside his house for weeks to get this scoop.
and then i threw up all over his campaign committee.
posted by 1-2punch at 9:01 AM on May 24, 2006
and then i threw up all over his campaign committee.
posted by 1-2punch at 9:01 AM on May 24, 2006
Good to see they're passing out the kneepads at the WaPo.
posted by bumpkin at 9:03 AM on May 24, 2006
posted by bumpkin at 9:03 AM on May 24, 2006
Um. What? Is this not a gag piece? It's an actual report, in a newspaper? Because it reads like it was taken straight out of the Onion. Are people just missing the joke? Am I just missing the joke?
Really, this is causing me cranial pain. Is she really painting Frist as part Flying Doctor, part mad scientist (dog's heart!?), part Tarzan, part James Bond, and part "superman" with "hairy, toned biceps"?
And did she really intimate that the Senate majority leader, like a silverback gorilla, has "exclusive mating rights with the females"????
Oy.
posted by Drexen at 9:05 AM on May 24, 2006
Really, this is causing me cranial pain. Is she really painting Frist as part Flying Doctor, part mad scientist (dog's heart!?), part Tarzan, part James Bond, and part "superman" with "hairy, toned biceps"?
And did she really intimate that the Senate majority leader, like a silverback gorilla, has "exclusive mating rights with the females"????
Oy.
posted by Drexen at 9:05 AM on May 24, 2006
Uh, I need an antacid.
I also could have lived without the knowledge that it's possible for a human to have hair growing on your biceps.
(I strongly recommend against checking on google images.)
posted by funambulist at 9:07 AM on May 24, 2006
I also could have lived without the knowledge that it's possible for a human to have hair growing on your biceps.
(I strongly recommend against checking on google images.)
posted by funambulist at 9:07 AM on May 24, 2006
Does anyone here see this article as anything other than creepy and perverted? Anyone?
posted by leftcoastbob at 9:10 AM on May 24, 2006
posted by leftcoastbob at 9:10 AM on May 24, 2006
In medical school, Frist cut out a dog's heart and held it in his palm. It continued to beat for a slippery minute.
"Watching it beat, the beauty of it," Frist recalled. "I decided I would spend my life centered around the heart."
that's how it happened for me too!
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 9:14 AM on May 24, 2006
"Watching it beat, the beauty of it," Frist recalled. "I decided I would spend my life centered around the heart."
that's how it happened for me too!
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 9:14 AM on May 24, 2006
So this person does pro bono medical work on gorillas when he's qualified to do the same for humans, and we're meant to applaud this? Jesus.
And yes, lcb, this piece is downright creepy and perverted. I mean, it's 90% highly sexualised descriptions of gorilla surgery, how could it not be?!
posted by jack_mo at 9:17 AM on May 24, 2006
And yes, lcb, this piece is downright creepy and perverted. I mean, it's 90% highly sexualised descriptions of gorilla surgery, how could it not be?!
posted by jack_mo at 9:17 AM on May 24, 2006
He pressed his stethoscope to the gorilla's chest and narrowed his eyes. Kuja, a silverback patriarch, was breathing isofluorine. He was the Senate majority leader of the gorillas, who negotiated disputes, back-slapped the ape boys and owned exclusive mating rights with the females.
...
Frist listened to the heart; the gorilla's lub-dub sounded human. "When you're this close, you feel this kind of oneness with them,"
this has to be satire, come on -- this column makes merciless fun of badly written, fawning puff pieces, and it has to be intentional
posted by matteo at 9:20 AM on May 24, 2006
...
Frist listened to the heart; the gorilla's lub-dub sounded human. "When you're this close, you feel this kind of oneness with them,"
this has to be satire, come on -- this column makes merciless fun of badly written, fawning puff pieces, and it has to be intentional
posted by matteo at 9:20 AM on May 24, 2006
reeking of silverback testosterone
Laura was inebriated by the smell of the senator's manly sweat, savouring it with every breath, picturing what it would be like if he took her quivering body in those hairy, reeking biceps...
/housewives porn
And this: Kuja, a silverback patriarch, was breathing isofluorine. He was the Senate majority leader of the gorillas, who negotiated disputes, back-slapped the ape boys and owned exclusive mating rights with the females.
You know, right now I'm not so sure if I'm for more opportunities for women in media. (Kidding, only kidding, but fuck. It's that painful.)
posted by funambulist at 9:21 AM on May 24, 2006
Laura was inebriated by the smell of the senator's manly sweat, savouring it with every breath, picturing what it would be like if he took her quivering body in those hairy, reeking biceps...
/housewives porn
And this: Kuja, a silverback patriarch, was breathing isofluorine. He was the Senate majority leader of the gorillas, who negotiated disputes, back-slapped the ape boys and owned exclusive mating rights with the females.
You know, right now I'm not so sure if I'm for more opportunities for women in media. (Kidding, only kidding, but fuck. It's that painful.)
posted by funambulist at 9:21 AM on May 24, 2006
One day, he hopes to cure AIDS or cancer.
Frist smiled and spoke unremarkably from the lectern, reeking of silverback testosterone.
He unbuttoned his business shirt, revealing jungle-pattern surgical scrubs and a pair of hairy, toned biceps
In medical school, Frist cut out a dog's heart and held it in his palm. It continued to beat for a slippery minute.
This article isn't real.
Right?
posted by dead_ at 9:21 AM on May 24, 2006
Frist smiled and spoke unremarkably from the lectern, reeking of silverback testosterone.
He unbuttoned his business shirt, revealing jungle-pattern surgical scrubs and a pair of hairy, toned biceps
In medical school, Frist cut out a dog's heart and held it in his palm. It continued to beat for a slippery minute.
This article isn't real.
Right?
posted by dead_ at 9:21 AM on May 24, 2006
"To see the human body alive -- without a heart in it."
This line made me smile.
posted by the Real Dan at 9:22 AM on May 24, 2006
This line made me smile.
posted by the Real Dan at 9:22 AM on May 24, 2006
One day, he hopes to cure AIDS or cancer.
"Doctor" Frist:
"...About condoms for example, we know there's about a 15 percent failure rate."
posted by jca at 9:30 AM on May 24, 2006
"Doctor" Frist:
"...About condoms for example, we know there's about a 15 percent failure rate."
posted by jca at 9:30 AM on May 24, 2006
Someone could read her book and report back if it's the same kind of writing. Then we'll have totally scientific proof if this is satire or truly just creepy.
posted by birdie birdington at 9:31 AM on May 24, 2006
posted by birdie birdington at 9:31 AM on May 24, 2006
You know, I have little use for this guy. But to criticize a relatively early entrant in heart transplant for practicing on animals is really quite astounding, bordering on ignorant. Believe what you will about the sanctity of animal life. But transplant medicine was not sorted out on a hunch. From dog to dog transplants and explants, this is how most in the field figured out what they were doing. Surgical students today are lucky they have the ability to just sit in on what has become routine in transplant medicine, but not to many moons ago bordered on being viewed an unethical desecration in the US.
That said, I still can’t understand how he got off weighing in on the Schiavo as he did. His background being what it is.
posted by paxton at 9:32 AM on May 24, 2006
That said, I still can’t understand how he got off weighing in on the Schiavo as he did. His background being what it is.
posted by paxton at 9:32 AM on May 24, 2006
Blumenfeld on Alberto Gonzalez: The attorney general's motorcade rolled out of the Justice Department, black glass and armored metal, flashing red and blue lights, and giant shiny grills that roared with importance.
Looks like the column is a total piss-take. I thought the Washington Post was meant to be all stuffy and serious?
posted by jack_mo at 9:34 AM on May 24, 2006
Looks like the column is a total piss-take. I thought the Washington Post was meant to be all stuffy and serious?
posted by jack_mo at 9:34 AM on May 24, 2006
i really don't like Frist. There is just something about him that creeps me out. Maybe it's the cat vivisection thing, maybe it's the was the whole HIV tear thing, i'm not sure, but something about him is just... not right.
And i really don't know what to think of this article, as someone pointed out above, it really does feel like a post-modern reconstruction of other fluff pieces. i mean, could someone have really written this in a non-ironic way?
posted by quin at 9:34 AM on May 24, 2006
And i really don't know what to think of this article, as someone pointed out above, it really does feel like a post-modern reconstruction of other fluff pieces. i mean, could someone have really written this in a non-ironic way?
posted by quin at 9:34 AM on May 24, 2006
crap; irony does not == satire.
Make my above statement 'in a non-satiric way?'
posted by quin at 9:35 AM on May 24, 2006
Make my above statement 'in a non-satiric way?'
posted by quin at 9:35 AM on May 24, 2006
Ah, Bill "kitten killer" Frist. Is he the next Chuck Norris?
Bill can cure cancer by narrowing his eyes at it. Aids by baring his harry biceps...
At least I now know why i fell so sick.
Bill! Please hope me!
posted by edgeways at 9:36 AM on May 24, 2006
Bill can cure cancer by narrowing his eyes at it. Aids by baring his harry biceps...
At least I now know why i fell so sick.
Bill! Please hope me!
posted by edgeways at 9:36 AM on May 24, 2006
Um, she's written a lot of similar articles, and I'm getting the sinking feeling that she's serious (lighthearted yes, but serious)
posted by pantsrobot at 9:45 AM on May 24, 2006
posted by pantsrobot at 9:45 AM on May 24, 2006
Blumenfeld has a one-track mind. From the article on Gonzales:
Gonzales got out of the black SUV, wearing running shoes, a T-shirt and black biking shorts that hung loose around his bulging quads. He has a sweet face, mild eyes and a buddy's smile. His legs, though, were something else. They looked rooted and unmovable, like redwood trunks.
Sometimes he sings along: "I never will forget those nights. I wonder if it was a dream. Remember how you made me crazy? Remember how I made you scream?"
Or substitute the word she really means:
"Okay, let's go," Gonzales said, and the agents leapt onto their bikes, their (handcuffs) swinging, their .45-caliber pistols ready with the hammers back.
A yes man to a president illegally expanding his (powers.) But as Gonzales pumped up a hill, he said he wasn't troubled by critics.
posted by leftcoastbob at 9:54 AM on May 24, 2006
Gonzales got out of the black SUV, wearing running shoes, a T-shirt and black biking shorts that hung loose around his bulging quads. He has a sweet face, mild eyes and a buddy's smile. His legs, though, were something else. They looked rooted and unmovable, like redwood trunks.
Sometimes he sings along: "I never will forget those nights. I wonder if it was a dream. Remember how you made me crazy? Remember how I made you scream?"
Or substitute the word she really means:
"Okay, let's go," Gonzales said, and the agents leapt onto their bikes, their (handcuffs) swinging, their .45-caliber pistols ready with the hammers back.
A yes man to a president illegally expanding his (powers.) But as Gonzales pumped up a hill, he said he wasn't troubled by critics.
posted by leftcoastbob at 9:54 AM on May 24, 2006
Slithy_Tove: "Medical training may have changed a whole lot. Dog labs were once common. [...] The trend today is to minimize animal use, and to use freshly killed animals if possible, rather than anesthetized ones."
I can believe that it used to be a lot more common, but Frist is really not that old. Dog surgery was seriously taught in the seventies?
Slithy_Tove: "Also, is your wife a surgeon? Dog labs make the most sense for physicians who need to know how to do procedures on living tissue. A rheumatologist or pediatrician may not need them."
In my experience, medical schools don't really specialize very much. All doctors get pretty much the same education. It's not until internship and residency that surgeons become surgeons and urologists become urologists. There're a lot of possibilities: medical education really has changed a lot; the story actually happened in his residency and the author of the piece was unclear on the differences; he sought out the Dog Lab in medical school; etc.
It's just a weird anecdote, is all. But it seems that the whole article is full of the-willies moments.
posted by Plutor at 9:58 AM on May 24, 2006
I can believe that it used to be a lot more common, but Frist is really not that old. Dog surgery was seriously taught in the seventies?
Slithy_Tove: "Also, is your wife a surgeon? Dog labs make the most sense for physicians who need to know how to do procedures on living tissue. A rheumatologist or pediatrician may not need them."
In my experience, medical schools don't really specialize very much. All doctors get pretty much the same education. It's not until internship and residency that surgeons become surgeons and urologists become urologists. There're a lot of possibilities: medical education really has changed a lot; the story actually happened in his residency and the author of the piece was unclear on the differences; he sought out the Dog Lab in medical school; etc.
It's just a weird anecdote, is all. But it seems that the whole article is full of the-willies moments.
posted by Plutor at 9:58 AM on May 24, 2006
She has the hots for Alberto Gonzales? He's the most nebbish member of the administration.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:09 AM on May 24, 2006
To see the human body alive -- without a heart in it.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:09 AM on May 24, 2006
One day, he hopes to cure AIDS or cancer
I'm fairly certain when these diseases are cured, it won't be by a heart surgeon turned senator but by a large number of medical researchers. My ophthalmologist is as just a likely (and qualified) to cure cancer as Bill Frist (No disrespect to my ophthalmologist, who is a great guy).
Maybe they meant that he hopes someday cancer will be cured, or that he will some day he will be able to administer cancer-curing treatments. Otherwise he is more deluded than I imagined.
posted by Lazlo Hollyfeld at 10:21 AM on May 24, 2006
I'm fairly certain when these diseases are cured, it won't be by a heart surgeon turned senator but by a large number of medical researchers. My ophthalmologist is as just a likely (and qualified) to cure cancer as Bill Frist (No disrespect to my ophthalmologist, who is a great guy).
Maybe they meant that he hopes someday cancer will be cured, or that he will some day he will be able to administer cancer-curing treatments. Otherwise he is more deluded than I imagined.
posted by Lazlo Hollyfeld at 10:21 AM on May 24, 2006
Plutor: Dog surgery was seriously taught in the seventies?
Even more recently in transplant medicine.
posted by paxton at 10:23 AM on May 24, 2006
Even more recently in transplant medicine.
posted by paxton at 10:23 AM on May 24, 2006
Is it even possible to write a piece like this and be 100% serious? Do you think she was able to control herself until she got home to her Rabbit, or did she masturbate in her car right outside the zoo?
posted by graventy at 10:41 AM on May 24, 2006
posted by graventy at 10:41 AM on May 24, 2006
How to tell Laura Blumenfeld is full of it?
When the BushCo semen runs out her nose.
posted by nofundy at 10:47 AM on May 24, 2006
When the BushCo semen runs out her nose.
posted by nofundy at 10:47 AM on May 24, 2006
Running for POTUS as a Senator is historically difficult--just ask John Kerry.
As Senate majority leader? Suicide.
But it'll be fun watching him run on nothing but negatives, reminding the fundies that Giuliani and McCain support aborted gay Hispanic babies and such. Over. And over. And over.
posted by bardic at 11:07 AM on May 24, 2006
As Senate majority leader? Suicide.
But it'll be fun watching him run on nothing but negatives, reminding the fundies that Giuliani and McCain support aborted gay Hispanic babies and such. Over. And over. And over.
posted by bardic at 11:07 AM on May 24, 2006
When I worked at an animal shelter, we were explicitly trained to screen out wild-eyed medical students like Frist. Desperate, obsessed with my work, I visited the various animal shelters in the Boston suburbs, collecting cats . . . "
posted by Eater at 11:10 AM on May 24, 2006
posted by Eater at 11:10 AM on May 24, 2006
He did practice on cats he adopted from shelters. Maybe it's his way of "giving back"?
This is why I think Frist could never be elected President. The Republican cat lady vote would swing to the Democrats if Frist were the GOP nominee. All Democrats would have to do is send a few eager-beaver liberal college kids to disrupt Frist's events with a few well-placed Meows, Meows. Or better yet, use the Meow Mix song.
I can see it now. Ted Koppel reports, "Move over soccer Moms and NASCAR Dads. 2008 is the year of the Republican cat lady. Revulsion over Bill Frist's experimentation on animals has produced a liberal Democratic tide so sweeping that Jesse Jackson was accidentally elected mayor of Provo, Utah. When asked for comment, Jackson said, 'Damn, I didn't know that black people were even allowed to live in Utah!'"
The political joke of 2008:
"There's more than one way to skin a cat," said Bill Frist as he nailed the paws to the dissecting board.
posted by jonp72 at 11:52 AM on May 24, 2006 [1 favorite]
This is why I think Frist could never be elected President. The Republican cat lady vote would swing to the Democrats if Frist were the GOP nominee. All Democrats would have to do is send a few eager-beaver liberal college kids to disrupt Frist's events with a few well-placed Meows, Meows. Or better yet, use the Meow Mix song.
I can see it now. Ted Koppel reports, "Move over soccer Moms and NASCAR Dads. 2008 is the year of the Republican cat lady. Revulsion over Bill Frist's experimentation on animals has produced a liberal Democratic tide so sweeping that Jesse Jackson was accidentally elected mayor of Provo, Utah. When asked for comment, Jackson said, 'Damn, I didn't know that black people were even allowed to live in Utah!'"
The political joke of 2008:
"There's more than one way to skin a cat," said Bill Frist as he nailed the paws to the dissecting board.
posted by jonp72 at 11:52 AM on May 24, 2006 [1 favorite]
I appreciate anyone who works to assist the great apes, but he sounds like a goddamn lunatic.
"Oh, I hope to cure cancer or AIDS. How? Well, I'm not doing any research or working on it or anything, so I guess I'm going to just hope real hard!"
posted by Optimus Chyme at 11:57 AM on May 24, 2006
"Oh, I hope to cure cancer or AIDS. How? Well, I'm not doing any research or working on it or anything, so I guess I'm going to just hope real hard!"
posted by Optimus Chyme at 11:57 AM on May 24, 2006
Senator, I served with Robert Gallo, I knew Robert Gallo, Robert Gallo was a friend of mine. Senator, you are no Robert Gallo.
posted by shoepal at 12:04 PM on May 24, 2006
posted by shoepal at 12:04 PM on May 24, 2006
He does sound like a lunatic, and he doesn't sound like he's trying to assist the great apes, more like he gets off on cutting open things with hearts. Ka-li-mah, indeed.
posted by petri at 12:06 PM on May 24, 2006
posted by petri at 12:06 PM on May 24, 2006
Eh. He's a surgeon. So what. The majority of them I have worked with are not the most pleasant human beings to be around.
I've had more than one conversation at the end of the phone start with comments from surgeons along these lines: "I don't like you and I don't like you're department. I resent that we have to pay you at all. I would prefer my 11 year odl son to do the work instead of you." And so on. That sounds, well, like an extreme example. The sad thing is how it isn't. :(
So, as far as I can tell, Frist being a surgeon and also being a coservative are pretty much hand in hand. Or heart in hand, as the case may be.
And I wonder, how much of this kind of work does he do when the cameras and writers are NOT around? Probably not a lot. I also wonder after reading the article about his views of animals, since the strike me as oddly... 17th century.
posted by smallerdemon at 12:12 PM on May 24, 2006 [1 favorite]
I've had more than one conversation at the end of the phone start with comments from surgeons along these lines: "I don't like you and I don't like you're department. I resent that we have to pay you at all. I would prefer my 11 year odl son to do the work instead of you." And so on. That sounds, well, like an extreme example. The sad thing is how it isn't. :(
So, as far as I can tell, Frist being a surgeon and also being a coservative are pretty much hand in hand. Or heart in hand, as the case may be.
And I wonder, how much of this kind of work does he do when the cameras and writers are NOT around? Probably not a lot. I also wonder after reading the article about his views of animals, since the strike me as oddly... 17th century.
posted by smallerdemon at 12:12 PM on May 24, 2006 [1 favorite]
It takes a hell of a master plan for someone so evil to fly to Africa a couple times a year to perform heart surgery.
Why's that?
posted by sohcahtoa at 12:22 PM on May 24, 2006
Why's that?
posted by sohcahtoa at 12:22 PM on May 24, 2006
He was the Senate majority leader of the gorillas, who negotiated disputes, back-slapped the ape boys and owned exclusive mating rights with the females.
It's too easy, really.
posted by Uccellina at 12:36 PM on May 24, 2006
It's too easy, really.
posted by Uccellina at 12:36 PM on May 24, 2006
I noticed the Alberto Gonzales puff piece in April and remember thinking what a bad sign that was... Apparently the Post is creating a new type of news story... Fawning profiles of powerful people in the guise of human interest stories. Because apparently if we could all just get to know these guys, we would understand that they should never held accountable for any of their actions.
posted by overanxious ducksqueezer at 12:50 PM on May 24, 2006
posted by overanxious ducksqueezer at 12:50 PM on May 24, 2006
He calls it "the Great Wall," an emotional barrier that has kept him from having close friends.
That's the line that explains Frist. I've known people like that, genuinely good people at heart who somehow fail to sympathize with others. He cares about other people and animals even, but only in some abstract, "clinical" sense, which leads to accidental viciousness; usually the kinds of dramatic actions that improve some lives harm some others. Surgery is one of the arenas in which he can succeed, because there usually aren't collateral costs, and when there are it's the patient that bears the burden of making tough decisions.
So Frist's a good surgeon, a mediocre husband and father by this account, and a rotten politician. But he's intelligent enough to know that, for all his striving, he comes up shorter than he ought to ethically--so he hatches these grandiose plans to cure cancer and AIDS and so forth. The political version of this kind of home run swing is remaking the Middle East into a neat set of tolerant, modern democracies.
posted by Nahum Tate at 12:58 PM on May 24, 2006
That's the line that explains Frist. I've known people like that, genuinely good people at heart who somehow fail to sympathize with others. He cares about other people and animals even, but only in some abstract, "clinical" sense, which leads to accidental viciousness; usually the kinds of dramatic actions that improve some lives harm some others. Surgery is one of the arenas in which he can succeed, because there usually aren't collateral costs, and when there are it's the patient that bears the burden of making tough decisions.
So Frist's a good surgeon, a mediocre husband and father by this account, and a rotten politician. But he's intelligent enough to know that, for all his striving, he comes up shorter than he ought to ethically--so he hatches these grandiose plans to cure cancer and AIDS and so forth. The political version of this kind of home run swing is remaking the Middle East into a neat set of tolerant, modern democracies.
posted by Nahum Tate at 12:58 PM on May 24, 2006
He climbed into the back of his black SUV; his driver steered toward the zoo. "I gravitate towards insurmountable problems," Frist said, his long legs spilling between the front seats. "I try to use creative solutions." One day, he hopes to cure AIDS or cancer. He sucked on the stem of his glasses: "The typical person around here may not understand."
Insurmountable problems like ... peak oil? Oh, I'm sure he's working on it.
I think he's a total assface, but I must be too typical.
posted by mrgrimm at 1:13 PM on May 24, 2006
Insurmountable problems like ... peak oil? Oh, I'm sure he's working on it.
I think he's a total assface, but I must be too typical.
posted by mrgrimm at 1:13 PM on May 24, 2006
He does sound like a lunatic, and he doesn't sound like he's trying to assist the great apes, more like he gets off on cutting open things with hearts. Ka-li-mah, indeed.
To be fair, it sounds Laura Blumenthal could make anyone seem like a lunatic.
posted by delmoi at 1:24 PM on May 24, 2006
To be fair, it sounds Laura Blumenthal could make anyone seem like a lunatic.
posted by delmoi at 1:24 PM on May 24, 2006
"You know, right now I'm not so sure if I'm for more opportunities for women in media. (Kidding, only kidding, but fuck. It's that painful.)"
posted by funambulist
You raised my female silverback hackles with that remark, even while I grant you that only a woman would have taken her angles.
In fact this is a spectacular example of the old New Journalism gone very, very bad indeed.
It is a colossal sham because it appears to scrupulously observe and record discrete telling details to bring the neutral reader to a higher truth. In fact, it's manipulative, absurdly selective over written crock.
The technique is not gender specific.
(Though I'm ashamed a woman has produced such a doozy here.)
posted by Jody Tresidder at 1:59 PM on May 24, 2006
posted by funambulist
You raised my female silverback hackles with that remark, even while I grant you that only a woman would have taken her angles.
In fact this is a spectacular example of the old New Journalism gone very, very bad indeed.
It is a colossal sham because it appears to scrupulously observe and record discrete telling details to bring the neutral reader to a higher truth. In fact, it's manipulative, absurdly selective over written crock.
The technique is not gender specific.
(Though I'm ashamed a woman has produced such a doozy here.)
posted by Jody Tresidder at 1:59 PM on May 24, 2006
Er, this Laura Blumenthal...could it be Jeff Gannon's new nom de plume?
posted by Skeptic at 2:21 PM on May 24, 2006
posted by Skeptic at 2:21 PM on May 24, 2006
Heh. Maybe she's doing what many journalists have always done to female figures; focusing on their "assets" instead of their accomplishments. Hairy biceps, long legs, manly squinted eyes, testosterone reek...hmm. I would like to think she's doing some sort of ultra-ironic take, but most likely it's just unintentionally porntastic. I keep expecting someone's bodice to get ripped.
posted by emjaybee at 2:42 PM on May 24, 2006
posted by emjaybee at 2:42 PM on May 24, 2006
Please allow me summarize: Surgeons are Alpha male assholes. Many women find Alpha male assholes attractive. Nearly every asshole sometimes does things that a nice person might do.
and to summarize the mefi responses:
"I hate his politics so he is evil"
"I understand that he meant he would cure cancer the same way Al Gore invented the internet, but I am an asshole and will pretend not to understand"
"my PETA friends and I don't like the fact that he learned to save humans by slaughtering animals that were going to be euthanised anyway, kittens are more important than children with heart problems"
"the journalist tried to tell this story in an interesting way, so she eats the semen of the entire Republican majority, and she is a whore"
Can't we dislike somebody without smearing them? Have the Rush Limbaughs, and the Bill O'Riellys (or their left-wing equivalents) won in this country?
posted by Megafly at 2:58 PM on May 24, 2006
and to summarize the mefi responses:
"I hate his politics so he is evil"
"I understand that he meant he would cure cancer the same way Al Gore invented the internet, but I am an asshole and will pretend not to understand"
"my PETA friends and I don't like the fact that he learned to save humans by slaughtering animals that were going to be euthanised anyway, kittens are more important than children with heart problems"
"the journalist tried to tell this story in an interesting way, so she eats the semen of the entire Republican majority, and she is a whore"
Can't we dislike somebody without smearing them? Have the Rush Limbaughs, and the Bill O'Riellys (or their left-wing equivalents) won in this country?
posted by Megafly at 2:58 PM on May 24, 2006
I insist that we immediately free this poor soul from his legislative shackles so that he can practice his beloved ape heart surgery in all his manly testosterone-laden hairy bicep glory.
posted by madamjujujive at 3:01 PM on May 24, 2006
posted by madamjujujive at 3:01 PM on May 24, 2006
He unbuttoned his business shirt, revealing jungle-pattern surgical scrubs
ok, i'm confused here. i know nothing about surgery protocol, but i thought the point of surgical scrubs (and the whole surgery getup with the hair nets and gloves and ludicrous amounts of hand-washing) was to be sterile and keep outside nasties like hair and germs out of the patient you're doing the surgery on.
doesn't wearing surgical scrubs under your everyday clothing sort of defeat this since they are out and about in the wider world? why not just wear your regular clothes then, or a BBQ apron for the blood? i'm not trying to knock the guy, i just don't understand how it works.
posted by sergeant sandwich at 3:02 PM on May 24, 2006
ok, i'm confused here. i know nothing about surgery protocol, but i thought the point of surgical scrubs (and the whole surgery getup with the hair nets and gloves and ludicrous amounts of hand-washing) was to be sterile and keep outside nasties like hair and germs out of the patient you're doing the surgery on.
doesn't wearing surgical scrubs under your everyday clothing sort of defeat this since they are out and about in the wider world? why not just wear your regular clothes then, or a BBQ apron for the blood? i'm not trying to knock the guy, i just don't understand how it works.
posted by sergeant sandwich at 3:02 PM on May 24, 2006
there are lower standards for hairy apes?
posted by overanxious ducksqueezer at 3:06 PM on May 24, 2006
posted by overanxious ducksqueezer at 3:06 PM on May 24, 2006
Truly bizarre. Yes, it's nice that he's helping the gorillas. But wow, there's just way too much creepiness in there to attribute to Blumenthal's determined skewing, or, if you prefer, her clueless cheerleading (I really can't tell).
I sent that article out to a few people, not telling them where it's from... will be interested to see if anyone believes it's real.
Blumenthal's book got a lot of attention when it came out, and I'd still like to read it. Hopefully her writing style won't kill off the interesting story she got to write about-- interviewing the Palestinian family of the terrorist who'd shot her father.
posted by ibmcginty at 3:11 PM on May 24, 2006
I sent that article out to a few people, not telling them where it's from... will be interested to see if anyone believes it's real.
Blumenthal's book got a lot of attention when it came out, and I'd still like to read it. Hopefully her writing style won't kill off the interesting story she got to write about-- interviewing the Palestinian family of the terrorist who'd shot her father.
posted by ibmcginty at 3:11 PM on May 24, 2006
Frist's campaign has, officially, gotten underway with this puffer crap piece. I truly hope that the GOP tries to ram this meatheaded asshat down America's throats. Even Al Sharpton looks better next to him.
posted by fenriq at 3:14 PM on May 24, 2006
posted by fenriq at 3:14 PM on May 24, 2006
There's a joke about Frist liking apes and the company he keeps, but it's too easy to be fair.
Although... It would be interesting to see Frist run against a silverback gorilla.
posted by Saydur at 4:05 PM on May 24, 2006
Although... It would be interesting to see Frist run against a silverback gorilla.
posted by Saydur at 4:05 PM on May 24, 2006
Surprisingly, this is actually really annoying.
It's the national zoo, for christ's sake. Vets kill to work in zoos, and are willing to slaughter indiscriminately for the change to work on large charismatic animals like gorillas. There are dozens of people who have trained for their entire lives to work on the specific problems encountered in large apes, and who are eminently more qualified to do so than some puffed up legislatorial doctor who doesn't even really practice. I know a few of them, and honestly I'd rather put myself in a vet's hands than in the hand of a dilletante like Frist.
Clearly, Frist called them and said "I'd like to help, whether you need it or not." Who would say no?
But I'm positive he's just getting in the way. The jerk.
posted by metaculpa at 5:40 PM on May 24, 2006 [1 favorite]
It's the national zoo, for christ's sake. Vets kill to work in zoos, and are willing to slaughter indiscriminately for the change to work on large charismatic animals like gorillas. There are dozens of people who have trained for their entire lives to work on the specific problems encountered in large apes, and who are eminently more qualified to do so than some puffed up legislatorial doctor who doesn't even really practice. I know a few of them, and honestly I'd rather put myself in a vet's hands than in the hand of a dilletante like Frist.
Clearly, Frist called them and said "I'd like to help, whether you need it or not." Who would say no?
But I'm positive he's just getting in the way. The jerk.
posted by metaculpa at 5:40 PM on May 24, 2006 [1 favorite]
"I understand that he meant he would cure cancer the same way Al Gore invented the internet, but I am an asshole and will pretend not to understand"
Gore never said he invented the internet. I think the "Not Understanding Things" prize goes to you.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 5:48 PM on May 24, 2006
Gore never said he invented the internet. I think the "Not Understanding Things" prize goes to you.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 5:48 PM on May 24, 2006
Dog surgery was seriously taught in the seventies?
Dogs, and other animals, were used to teach surgical technique into the 1990's, and possibly still are. Students today practice suturing on pig feet and intraosseous technique on chicken legs.
In my experience, medical schools don't really specialize very much.
Oops, my bad. You wrote 'med school' and I read 'residency'.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 6:51 PM on May 24, 2006
Dogs, and other animals, were used to teach surgical technique into the 1990's, and possibly still are. Students today practice suturing on pig feet and intraosseous technique on chicken legs.
In my experience, medical schools don't really specialize very much.
Oops, my bad. You wrote 'med school' and I read 'residency'.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 6:51 PM on May 24, 2006
Gore never said he invented the internet. I think the "Not Understanding Things" prize goes to you.
Dems have "talking points" the same way republicans do, and this is one of the most obnoxious. Gore said he "created" the internet, or at least "took the initiative in creating" the internet. Regardless of what he really meant, it does sound like he said he invented it.
posted by delmoi at 7:00 PM on May 24, 2006
Dems have "talking points" the same way republicans do, and this is one of the most obnoxious. Gore said he "created" the internet, or at least "took the initiative in creating" the internet. Regardless of what he really meant, it does sound like he said he invented it.
posted by delmoi at 7:00 PM on May 24, 2006
"the journalist tried to tell this story in an interesting way, so she eats the semen of the entire Republican majority, and she is a whore"
Tried and failed. Look, one of the 'touching' anecdotes is about Frist holding the still-beating heart of a dog in his hands as it dies -- it beats for a full minute before stopping. If that's not creepy to the average person, I don't know what is.
posted by delmoi at 7:02 PM on May 24, 2006
Tried and failed. Look, one of the 'touching' anecdotes is about Frist holding the still-beating heart of a dog in his hands as it dies -- it beats for a full minute before stopping. If that's not creepy to the average person, I don't know what is.
posted by delmoi at 7:02 PM on May 24, 2006
She's really stupid, even for the Post. You'd think someone would have said something along the lines of This is crap, it's all about your school crush; you write like shit.
I can't wait till this fucker is indicted and Barbie here has to petition for a conjugal visit to get another interview. Did she really stay up to watch/listen to this guy get into the shower, or did she just imagine it wearing her bunny slippers and sipping on creme de menthe?
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 7:15 PM on May 24, 2006
I can't wait till this fucker is indicted and Barbie here has to petition for a conjugal visit to get another interview. Did she really stay up to watch/listen to this guy get into the shower, or did she just imagine it wearing her bunny slippers and sipping on creme de menthe?
posted by gesamtkunstwerk at 7:15 PM on May 24, 2006
slight derail
doesnt it seem like the leadership of this country has a series of real personality disorders? I rarely meet people in everyday life with such a collection of repulsive characteristics: the egomaniacal (bush); greedy beyond all measure (cheney); obsequious (graham); rage filled (mccain, bush); depraved (duke cunningham and crowd) and/or cowardly (the bastards who approved in General Hayden); and of hypocrisy beyond all possible measure (all the bastards)
is there something clincally definable about the persons attracted to power? I'm even starting to have my doubts about obama, feingold and boxer - why arent they fighting harder (maybe feingold is)
ugh, its all so unfuckingbelievably depressing
sorry for the derail - back to the atrocious vile slimebag that is bill frist and his pathetic sycophant blumenthal
posted by Gaius Gracchus at 8:13 PM on May 24, 2006 [1 favorite]
doesnt it seem like the leadership of this country has a series of real personality disorders? I rarely meet people in everyday life with such a collection of repulsive characteristics: the egomaniacal (bush); greedy beyond all measure (cheney); obsequious (graham); rage filled (mccain, bush); depraved (duke cunningham and crowd) and/or cowardly (the bastards who approved in General Hayden); and of hypocrisy beyond all possible measure (all the bastards)
is there something clincally definable about the persons attracted to power? I'm even starting to have my doubts about obama, feingold and boxer - why arent they fighting harder (maybe feingold is)
ugh, its all so unfuckingbelievably depressing
sorry for the derail - back to the atrocious vile slimebag that is bill frist and his pathetic sycophant blumenthal
posted by Gaius Gracchus at 8:13 PM on May 24, 2006 [1 favorite]
I think it crosses a lot of minds... The Madness of King George
posted by overanxious ducksqueezer at 8:42 PM on May 24, 2006
posted by overanxious ducksqueezer at 8:42 PM on May 24, 2006
I definitely wouldn't vote for Bill Frist no matter WHAT life-forms he operates on. Even if he went into space and was the first man to perform open heart surgery on a Martian, I STILL wouldn't vote for him for anything. President. Hall monitor. Nothing.
I might vote for that gorilla though.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:42 PM on May 24, 2006
I might vote for that gorilla though.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 9:42 PM on May 24, 2006
Here's a blogger writing about Frist's "psychopathology." (Blogger is clinical psychologist)
After all, offering a public diagnosis without examining the patient is not something Frist can condemn.
posted by overanxious ducksqueezer at 1:47 AM on May 25, 2006
After all, offering a public diagnosis without examining the patient is not something Frist can condemn.
posted by overanxious ducksqueezer at 1:47 AM on May 25, 2006
Take your paws off me, you damn dirty senator.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:24 AM on May 25, 2006
posted by kirkaracha at 11:24 AM on May 25, 2006
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Charming isn't the word that springs to mind. My wife just graduated medical school and she never murdered a single living thing. Either medical training has changed a whole lot in the last 30 years, or Frist went to Evil Medical School.
posted by Plutor at 8:20 AM on May 24, 2006 [1 favorite]