Clowns Branch Out
July 25, 2006 7:59 AM Subscribe
Seattle clown crime spree! It seems that clown makeup is the New Black for robbers. Besides those Seattle clowns, clownish robbers have hit San Francisco, Tucson, Arizona, Manchester, England, and Sao Paulo, Brazil. The resourceful clowns have apparently even invented a new crime - posession of "simulated weapons of mass destruction". Where will it end?
Who would ever think that followers of a band called "Insane Clown Posse" would go nuts and run riot?
posted by clevershark at 8:23 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by clevershark at 8:23 AM on July 25, 2006
I thought ICP had revealed that their ultimate message was "love God and Christ". Christians don't go robbin'.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 8:30 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 8:30 AM on July 25, 2006
It seems that clown makeup is the New Black for robbers
Not that new: the BBC article on Manchester dates back to 2002 and the Brazil one to 2004. Too lazy to check the rest...
posted by TheDonF at 8:34 AM on July 25, 2006
Not that new: the BBC article on Manchester dates back to 2002 and the Brazil one to 2004. Too lazy to check the rest...
posted by TheDonF at 8:34 AM on July 25, 2006
In the history of U.S. law enforcement, no police officer has ever over-reacted to any situation.
posted by wfc123 at 8:36 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by wfc123 at 8:36 AM on July 25, 2006
...a machete-wielding gang in angry clown make-up...
Face paint wearing crooks have come a long way from Bill Murray's "crying on the inside" clown crook in Quick Change .
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 8:38 AM on July 25, 2006
Face paint wearing crooks have come a long way from Bill Murray's "crying on the inside" clown crook in Quick Change .
posted by Slack-a-gogo at 8:38 AM on July 25, 2006
Christians don't go robbin'.
Unless they're robbing Peter to pay Paul, of course.
posted by NationalKato at 8:39 AM on July 25, 2006
Unless they're robbing Peter to pay Paul, of course.
posted by NationalKato at 8:39 AM on July 25, 2006
Yeah. (I think loquacious may already be referring to this, but can't remember all the details. Cheers!)
posted by zoinks at 8:50 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by zoinks at 8:50 AM on July 25, 2006
2006, 2006, 2005, 2002, 2004. Too lazy to put any commentary around these years...
posted by runkelfinker at 9:00 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by runkelfinker at 9:00 AM on July 25, 2006
"Woo, Woo, Juggalo!"
posted by sharksandwich at 9:11 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by sharksandwich at 9:11 AM on July 25, 2006
I'll see your 1988 Bill Murray and raise you a 1972 Michael Caine (not exactly as depicted, but close enough):
http://www.flyingredhead.com/Art/costumedesigns/clown.jpg
posted by Mike D at 9:11 AM on July 25, 2006
http://www.flyingredhead.com/Art/costumedesigns/clown.jpg
posted by Mike D at 9:11 AM on July 25, 2006
Reminds me of that creepy Jack in the Box cinema verite-style ad a few years ago (sorry, couldn't find it on YouTube) where the surly hamburger mascot chased a customer into the backyard to menace him.
posted by twsf at 9:13 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by twsf at 9:13 AM on July 25, 2006
Holy crap, I used to work a few doors down from that Brannigan's in Manchester. I had no idea it'd ever been robbed by clowns.
posted by terpsichoria at 9:15 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by terpsichoria at 9:15 AM on July 25, 2006
Clowns? Machetes? Robberies? Sounds like Cleon from Dead Presidents.
posted by Gamblor at 9:19 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by Gamblor at 9:19 AM on July 25, 2006
Hand over the money and nobody dies laughing.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:22 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 9:22 AM on July 25, 2006
The group, who said they were "juggalos," devotees of the Detroit-based rap-metal group Insane Clown Posse...
Clearly this must be a hoax, then, yes? This article is predicated on the idea that someone actually still listens to Insane Clown Posse.
posted by gurple at 9:23 AM on July 25, 2006
Clearly this must be a hoax, then, yes? This article is predicated on the idea that someone actually still listens to Insane Clown Posse.
posted by gurple at 9:23 AM on July 25, 2006
This article is predicated on the idea that someone actually still listens to Insane Clown Posse.
It turns out that several people still do. I had no idea -- and I think I was happier that way.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:28 AM on July 25, 2006
It turns out that several people still do. I had no idea -- and I think I was happier that way.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:28 AM on July 25, 2006
Clowns. Why did it have to be clowns. < *shiver*>
posted by lordrunningclam at 9:42 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by lordrunningclam at 9:42 AM on July 25, 2006
BEEP BEEP Richie! They ALL float down here. When your down here with us, you'll float too!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:42 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:42 AM on July 25, 2006
*you're* Apparently insane monster clowns can't spell, either. Even scarier!*
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:44 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:44 AM on July 25, 2006
If we have comic-book villians, then we're going to need comic-book heroes.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:54 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:54 AM on July 25, 2006
I forgot to use one of my favorite movie quotes: "GIVE THE BAG TO BOZO, DROP THE GUN, AND PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR."
posted by Kirth Gerson at 9:54 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by Kirth Gerson at 9:54 AM on July 25, 2006
Can't sleep, clowns will sack city.
Can't sleep, clowns will sack city.
Can't sleep, clowns will sack city.
posted by eriko at 10:13 AM on July 25, 2006 [1 favorite]
Can't sleep, clowns will sack city.
Can't sleep, clowns will sack city.
posted by eriko at 10:13 AM on July 25, 2006 [1 favorite]
I'm just a juggalo, and everywhere I go,
People know the part I'm playin'.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:22 AM on July 25, 2006
People know the part I'm playin'.
posted by kirkaracha at 11:22 AM on July 25, 2006
It's like Akira out there. I wish they were on motorcycles!
posted by rubyeyo at 11:24 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by rubyeyo at 11:24 AM on July 25, 2006
My take is that ICP is the L. Ron Hubbard of music - they've come up with the most asinine, lame-brained excuse for a "music cult" they could, and damned if a whole passel of morons didn't lap it up like ratdogs at a puke puddle.
I weep for humanity.
posted by Aquaman at 11:33 AM on July 25, 2006
I weep for humanity.
posted by Aquaman at 11:33 AM on July 25, 2006
When Namor cries, the ocean gets a little saltier!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:35 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:35 AM on July 25, 2006
That's Submariner.
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:35 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by PinkStainlessTail at 11:35 AM on July 25, 2006
Aquaman is the Clown Submariner.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:39 AM on July 25, 2006
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 11:39 AM on July 25, 2006
Recitar! Vesti la giubba.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:42 PM on July 25, 2006
posted by Smedleyman at 12:42 PM on July 25, 2006
"Juggalos often dress in black and wear clown face paint."
They have also been known to eat Monopoly and shit out Connect-Four. Whether the perpetrators had weaves in their nut hair remains unknown.
posted by Durhey at 12:48 PM on July 25, 2006
They have also been known to eat Monopoly and shit out Connect-Four. Whether the perpetrators had weaves in their nut hair remains unknown.
posted by Durhey at 12:48 PM on July 25, 2006
Don't you love farce?
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're- Aauuggghhh!!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:59 PM on July 25, 2006
My fault I fear.
I thought that you'd want what I want.
Sorry, my dear.
But where are the clowns?
Quick, send in the clowns.
Don't bother, they're- Aauuggghhh!!!
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:59 PM on July 25, 2006
Right there with you KG
Right there with you, Deadpool.
posted by terpsichoria at 1:04 PM on July 25, 2006
Right there with you, Deadpool.
posted by terpsichoria at 1:04 PM on July 25, 2006
Word is cannibals won't eat them.
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:23 PM on July 25, 2006
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:23 PM on July 25, 2006
On the Minneapolis Eyewitness News 5 page, which zombie gang are you referring to: the smilin' ones up in the masthead, or the unwashed group down in the image sidebar?
Seems like you see the same news team in every city: spooky how their expressions never change...
posted by cenoxo at 2:24 PM on July 25, 2006
Seems like you see the same news team in every city: spooky how their expressions never change...
posted by cenoxo at 2:24 PM on July 25, 2006
Perhaps it's time for a remake of my favorite obscure (in the US, anyway) 80s movie!
posted by litlnemo at 3:01 PM on July 25, 2006
posted by litlnemo at 3:01 PM on July 25, 2006
Recitar! Vesti la giubba.
Giubba giubba hey!
We accept you, one of us
posted by hangashore at 3:54 PM on July 25, 2006
Giubba giubba hey!
We accept you, one of us
posted by hangashore at 3:54 PM on July 25, 2006
Where will it end?
Pierce County Jail.
Clearly this must be a hoax, then, yes? This article is predicated on the idea that someone actually still listens to Insane Clown Posse.
Some people actually still listen to Insane Clown Posse.
Any more questions I can answer with Seattle Times links? Anyone?
posted by dw at 4:53 PM on July 25, 2006
Pierce County Jail.
Clearly this must be a hoax, then, yes? This article is predicated on the idea that someone actually still listens to Insane Clown Posse.
Some people actually still listen to Insane Clown Posse.
Any more questions I can answer with Seattle Times links? Anyone?
posted by dw at 4:53 PM on July 25, 2006
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In space. After the ice cream truck explodes.
posted by loquacious at 8:06 AM on July 25, 2006