Visit Australia!
August 2, 2006 1:28 PM Subscribe
Australia is well known for having more than it's share of dangerous wildlife. However only a few examples are well known outside of the continent. The funnelweb spider might be Australia's most infamous horror. But the redback (a relative of the American black widow) and mouse spider both deserve your respect as well. Long hyped as causing severe ulceration, the reputation of the white-tailed spider might not be as deserved but is still a spider of concern. (more inside...)
jesus christ. next time i go to australia i'm packing body armor.
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 1:39 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by StrasbourgSecaucus at 1:39 PM on August 2, 2006
Yea, seriously, fuck Australia.
//well, not really.
posted by thanotopsis at 1:41 PM on August 2, 2006
//well, not really.
posted by thanotopsis at 1:41 PM on August 2, 2006
Oh man oh man oh man, spiders freak me out. Why did I click those links?
DAMN YOU WERETABLE! AND YOUR UNDEAD CHAIRS, TOO!
posted by papercake at 1:42 PM on August 2, 2006
DAMN YOU WERETABLE! AND YOUR UNDEAD CHAIRS, TOO!
posted by papercake at 1:42 PM on August 2, 2006
That mouse spider doesn't have fangs. It has friggin' TUSKS.
posted by PenDevil at 1:45 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by PenDevil at 1:45 PM on August 2, 2006
next time i go to australia i'm packing body armor.
Body armor? Hell, I'm staying in the green zone.
posted by Richard Daly at 1:46 PM on August 2, 2006
Body armor? Hell, I'm staying in the green zone.
posted by Richard Daly at 1:46 PM on August 2, 2006
Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick. Spider don't scare me. Until now.
I echo papercake's sentiment to weretable and his damnable undead chairs.
posted by illiad at 1:48 PM on August 2, 2006
I echo papercake's sentiment to weretable and his damnable undead chairs.
posted by illiad at 1:48 PM on August 2, 2006
Body armor will just give them a place to hide, StrasbourgSecaucus. Hiding in the seam, right below the nape of your neck.
posted by boo_radley at 1:50 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by boo_radley at 1:50 PM on August 2, 2006
Don't forget the cassowary bird, which can disembowel enemies with its extremely sharp claws.
posted by gaspode at 1:54 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by gaspode at 1:54 PM on August 2, 2006
And to top it all off, wait until some Aussie invites you out for a beer. Damn, those people can drink. A year in Australia was hard on my liver. Plus having a brewery across the street from school was, well, a bad coincidence.
posted by GuyZero at 1:55 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by GuyZero at 1:55 PM on August 2, 2006
Bill Bryson's In a Sunburned Country does an excellent job terrifying visitors to Australia. Here's how he keeps you away from the beach and the box jellyfish:
In 1992 a young man in Cairns, ignoring all the warning signs, went swimming in the Pacific waters at a place called Holloways Beach. He swam and dove, taunting his friends on the beach for their prudent cowardice, and then began to scream with an inhuman sound. It is said that there is no pain to compare with it. The young man staggered from the water, covered in livid whiplike stripes wherever the jellyfish's tentacles had brushed across him, and collapsed in quivering shock. Soon afterward emergency crews arrived, inflated him with morphine, and took him away for treatment. And here's the thing. Even unconscious and sedated, he was still screaming.posted by justkevin at 1:57 PM on August 2, 2006
Ooooooooh spiders! do you ever get Cobalt Blue tarantulas there?
posted by By The Grace of God at 2:02 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by By The Grace of God at 2:02 PM on August 2, 2006
Even the super-cute duck billed platypus has venomous spurs. In fact, messing with a platypus is how Neville Bonner died.
posted by the ghost of Ken Lay at 2:03 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by the ghost of Ken Lay at 2:03 PM on August 2, 2006
This is a great post and I'd really love to click on those links, but I'm man enough to admit that I'm to freaked out to do it.
posted by TBoneMcCool at 2:07 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by TBoneMcCool at 2:07 PM on August 2, 2006
Shortly after this pic was taken, she went totally berserk.
posted by boo_radley at 2:11 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by boo_radley at 2:11 PM on August 2, 2006
And yet, Paul Hogan survived to inflict his horrors upon all of us. That, my friends, is just how evil Australia is.
posted by WinnipegDragon at 2:14 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by WinnipegDragon at 2:14 PM on August 2, 2006
Clicking Ken's link reveals an obnoxious number of animated gifs, though the blinking illuminati were kinda endearing.
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:15 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:15 PM on August 2, 2006
JESUS JUMPING CHRIST BOO_RADLEY.
Okay. I gotta get out of this thread.
*knocks over his chair and slams the door on his way out*
posted by papercake at 2:16 PM on August 2, 2006 [1 favorite]
Okay. I gotta get out of this thread.
*knocks over his chair and slams the door on his way out*
posted by papercake at 2:16 PM on August 2, 2006 [1 favorite]
until they LEAP FOR YOUR THROAT!
posted by InfidelZombie at 2:20 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by InfidelZombie at 2:20 PM on August 2, 2006
That Bill Bryson paragraph struck a chord. From the JellyFish link -
You have virtually no chance of surviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. The pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and drown before reaching the shore. So don't go swimming alone!
Don't go swimming alone? I don't think I'll ever go swimming again.
posted by Sk4n at 2:24 PM on August 2, 2006
You have virtually no chance of surviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. The pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and drown before reaching the shore. So don't go swimming alone!
Don't go swimming alone? I don't think I'll ever go swimming again.
posted by Sk4n at 2:24 PM on August 2, 2006
Then there's this guy, Rob Bredl the Barefoot Bushman. Barefoot. In the Australian bush. You can catch his amazing series, Killer Instinct, on the OLN network.
posted by NationalKato at 2:26 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by NationalKato at 2:26 PM on August 2, 2006
Fuck the spiders, that box jellyfish has just become the marquee star in my diving anxiety dreams.
posted by mckenney at 2:27 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by mckenney at 2:27 PM on August 2, 2006
Guess again, jrossi4r! Koalas are prone to suffer from cystitis, a fatal urinary tract infection that's often fatal. Though their "wet bottom syndrome" only affects other koalas (through chlamydia, no less), it's a pretty gruesome way to go.
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:28 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:28 PM on August 2, 2006
In relatively recent times South American cane toads were added to the mix to control pests and became pests themselves.
Can't they just import some type of cane toad eating animal to control the cane toads? Maybe parasitic tree lizards... Yeah. Then they can get Chinese needle snakes to kill the lizards. Then gorillas can take care of the snakes! And when winter rolls around, the snakes will freeze to death! (via Simpsons)
posted by inigo2 at 2:32 PM on August 2, 2006
Can't they just import some type of cane toad eating animal to control the cane toads? Maybe parasitic tree lizards... Yeah. Then they can get Chinese needle snakes to kill the lizards. Then gorillas can take care of the snakes! And when winter rolls around, the snakes will freeze to death! (via Simpsons)
posted by inigo2 at 2:32 PM on August 2, 2006
I'm going to have nightmares about the side navigation on barrierreefaustralia.com.
posted by staggernation at 2:40 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by staggernation at 2:40 PM on August 2, 2006
Australia is proof of several related facts:
(1) The creationists are right, and all life on Earth was made by God.
(2) Sometimes God gets really, really high. Higher than the highest high any human could achieve. And when He's high, he doesn't stop designing new animals. Sometimes it turns out pretty well, like with the giraffe. Other times, He forgets that mammals don't lay eggs or make poison.
(3) Australia is where God puts all of the animals he's embarrassed about when he comes down. He was going to put up a big KEEP OUT WARNING DANGER KILLER EVERYTHING sign, but got distracted by a disco-ball.
(4) When He's really stoned, God seems to think an awful lot about poison. I'm not sure what this says about Him. Maybe we should just be thankful that none of the animals in Australia are born with ninja swords and an expert knowledge of kung fu.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:45 PM on August 2, 2006 [7 favorites]
(1) The creationists are right, and all life on Earth was made by God.
(2) Sometimes God gets really, really high. Higher than the highest high any human could achieve. And when He's high, he doesn't stop designing new animals. Sometimes it turns out pretty well, like with the giraffe. Other times, He forgets that mammals don't lay eggs or make poison.
(3) Australia is where God puts all of the animals he's embarrassed about when he comes down. He was going to put up a big KEEP OUT WARNING DANGER KILLER EVERYTHING sign, but got distracted by a disco-ball.
(4) When He's really stoned, God seems to think an awful lot about poison. I'm not sure what this says about Him. Maybe we should just be thankful that none of the animals in Australia are born with ninja swords and an expert knowledge of kung fu.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:45 PM on August 2, 2006 [7 favorites]
In re: point 4: I bet He thinks "What could I make that would be fun to lick?" Sometimes it works awesome, and sometimes it doesn't.
posted by boo_radley at 2:49 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by boo_radley at 2:49 PM on August 2, 2006
In Terry Pratchett's novel The Last Continent, which is supposed to be "Fourecks" but is really Australia, the character Rincewind spends most of the story being attacked by dangerous poisonous things.
Given the examples of same in this post, I'm very, very glad to live in a cold country.
posted by Zinger at 3:00 PM on August 2, 2006
Given the examples of same in this post, I'm very, very glad to live in a cold country.
posted by Zinger at 3:00 PM on August 2, 2006
Several links are from here and there are a lot of other interesting critters profiled there as well.
Such as this.... thing.
Spiders bother me too, but the more I read about them and make myself look at pictures of them, the less they bother me. Although when I see a brown recluse on the floor, I still freak out and start looking for large objects to hurl at it.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 3:01 PM on August 2, 2006
Such as this.... thing.
Spiders bother me too, but the more I read about them and make myself look at pictures of them, the less they bother me. Although when I see a brown recluse on the floor, I still freak out and start looking for large objects to hurl at it.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 3:01 PM on August 2, 2006
It might be also be of interest to see the website of Dr. Bryan Grieg Fry (or Dr Venom as he's also known). He's a toxicologist and expert on venomous animals (from his site: "Ever since I was a small child, all I have ever wanted to do is play with venomous animals for a living").
posted by tnai at 3:01 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by tnai at 3:01 PM on August 2, 2006
I was fine with all that koala info until the chlamydia. That's just wrong.
posted by jrossi4r at 3:03 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by jrossi4r at 3:03 PM on August 2, 2006
It might be also be of interest to see the website of Dr. Bryan Grieg Fry (or Dr Venom as he's also known).
that guy's batshitinsane.
posted by juv3nal at 3:15 PM on August 2, 2006
Bloody bunch of pussies! Where's the vitality? What's the fun of living without being under constant fear of tripping over a brown snake or sitting on a redback? It makes you value every moment. I think it also explains Australian athleticism. We have to run so fast to escape crocodiles, swim to escape sharks, jump so high to escape the snakes. . .
posted by Jimbob at 3:19 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by Jimbob at 3:19 PM on August 2, 2006
In the Bolivia Bug thread flabdablet alerted us to these things, which are also Australian. I concur. Fuck Australia. Australia hates me and wants to kills me.
posted by jimmythefish at 3:33 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by jimmythefish at 3:33 PM on August 2, 2006
Heh. Although I can tell you that you don't need to jump high if you walk unawares barefoot into a bush crevace full of red-bellied black snakes (in shadow). They just writhe pitifully slowly (suck it ectotherms!) as you tread across their backs.
I have a little bit of fear about goannas (chased as a kid) and being eviscerated by a 'roo up on its tale. All the rest are ok if you feed them sufficient tourists.
posted by peacay at 3:33 PM on August 2, 2006
I have a little bit of fear about goannas (chased as a kid) and being eviscerated by a 'roo up on its tale. All the rest are ok if you feed them sufficient tourists.
posted by peacay at 3:33 PM on August 2, 2006
Damn.
This explains a great deal. Australia is filled to the gills with under-appreciated hottie McHotster chicks. It's like Spain. They are every where there. But you wouldn't know it by talking to Aussie guys... it's like the chicks there have cloaking devices that only effect Aussie men.
Me to my friend John in Melbourne: "WOW! Look at those girls over there!"
John: "Hmm? Yeh. Mate. Hey let's go down to pub."
Me: "Pub? Fuck that. I'm staying right here on on St. Kilda. Look at these amazing women— hi there—god! They are all smiling at me... er, John? Where you going...?
And now I find out your entire continent is also filled with killer bugs and shit?
I agree with the God theory. Only I believe the poison animals are to balance the equation. It's god's idea of fairness. This is the price Australia must pay to have so many hot chicks. I bet if the Aussie men make too big a deal out of all the hot chicks a million tiny hidden trap doors open up everywhere and spiders come rushing out and bite them.
If this is the case I don't like god's idea of fairness much.
posted by tkchrist at 3:36 PM on August 2, 2006 [2 favorites]
This explains a great deal. Australia is filled to the gills with under-appreciated hottie McHotster chicks. It's like Spain. They are every where there. But you wouldn't know it by talking to Aussie guys... it's like the chicks there have cloaking devices that only effect Aussie men.
Me to my friend John in Melbourne: "WOW! Look at those girls over there!"
John: "Hmm? Yeh. Mate. Hey let's go down to pub."
Me: "Pub? Fuck that. I'm staying right here on on St. Kilda. Look at these amazing women— hi there—god! They are all smiling at me... er, John? Where you going...?
And now I find out your entire continent is also filled with killer bugs and shit?
I agree with the God theory. Only I believe the poison animals are to balance the equation. It's god's idea of fairness. This is the price Australia must pay to have so many hot chicks. I bet if the Aussie men make too big a deal out of all the hot chicks a million tiny hidden trap doors open up everywhere and spiders come rushing out and bite them.
If this is the case I don't like god's idea of fairness much.
posted by tkchrist at 3:36 PM on August 2, 2006 [2 favorites]
There are several other dangerous Australian snakes on this page.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 3:37 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 3:37 PM on August 2, 2006
Also from Dr. Venom's website comes this tacit warning about Australia:
posted by boo_radley at 3:39 PM on August 2, 2006
Australia is the only country in the world that has snake venom detection kits. A swab from the bite site, blood, or urine allows the doctor to select the type of snake antivenom which may have to be used.Snakebites are that common, people.
posted by boo_radley at 3:39 PM on August 2, 2006
I went out with an Hot Australian Chick once in Sydney. She's married now - BUT NOT TO ME! Take that, God, you filthy hippy!
While I was there I went to the Zoo in Sydney. At the Koala you could have your photo taken with I asked the keeper if it was true that they all got chlamydia from the early convicts, and she said it wasn't, but I didn't believe her. I think I got a giraffe drunk there, but I have giraffes outside my window anyway back home and they're all stinking alkies anyway. I have a photo of it trying to do the splits.
By anyhow - I also saw some snakes and spiders there, and they are every bit as horrible as pictured, with the additional terror of actually moving. Then I went back to where I was staying and woke up with a freaking huntsman spider on my freaking face.
Sod Australia, sod it with a pointy stick, that probably will turn out to be a poisonous thing in disguise anyway.
posted by Sparx at 4:02 PM on August 2, 2006
While I was there I went to the Zoo in Sydney. At the Koala you could have your photo taken with I asked the keeper if it was true that they all got chlamydia from the early convicts, and she said it wasn't, but I didn't believe her. I think I got a giraffe drunk there, but I have giraffes outside my window anyway back home and they're all stinking alkies anyway. I have a photo of it trying to do the splits.
By anyhow - I also saw some snakes and spiders there, and they are every bit as horrible as pictured, with the additional terror of actually moving. Then I went back to where I was staying and woke up with a freaking huntsman spider on my freaking face.
Sod Australia, sod it with a pointy stick, that probably will turn out to be a poisonous thing in disguise anyway.
posted by Sparx at 4:02 PM on August 2, 2006
As I've said before, it's a wonder that Australians actually managed to survive this far, let alone thrive.
posted by clevershark at 4:03 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by clevershark at 4:03 PM on August 2, 2006
Just in case the horror of box jellies wasn't enough to keep you firmly out of the water - they can, after all, be blocked by nets designed to keep them away from swimmers - I recommend to you their nasty little cousin the irukandji. All the fun and excitement of the great big box jellyfish squeezed down into a tiny - and hence virtually invisible - 2cm. or less. They undoubtedly laugh little jellied laughs as they sift through the nets to smite their prey.
posted by John Smallberries at 4:29 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by John Smallberries at 4:29 PM on August 2, 2006
weretable and the undead chairs: ...."If you want to visit the beautiful reefs it would be wise to watch out for the deadly box jellyfish which is responsible for more deaths than snakes and crocodiles put together. There are also several other types of jellyfish..."
oops. I didn't realize that the original post had a link to the nasty little buggers already as other types of jellyfish. My bad.
Fantastic post, btw.
posted by John Smallberries at 4:39 PM on August 2, 2006
oops. I didn't realize that the original post had a link to the nasty little buggers already as other types of jellyfish. My bad.
Fantastic post, btw.
posted by John Smallberries at 4:39 PM on August 2, 2006
Ran across several tiger snakes during a trip across the South Coast Track in Tasmania. Big ugly dark snakes that pretty much just lay there as you passed. I'd heard about them before we started. The guy on the little puddle-jumper 4 seater plane dropping us off at Melaleuca (sp) mentioned we should really avoid them. "No antidote for ya in time, mate. You stay there."
Well okay then. Decided not to start playing with them.
Other than that, ran across the nasty Banded Sea-snake in Fiji. Little guys that arent really interested in biting you (unless your a tiny fish) and their fangs are apparently in the back of their mouth so they cant bite a human sized person effectively. But a really nasty, deadly poison if they manage it. Coolest thing was they still have to breathe air, and they nest on land at night. It was the niftiest thing to watch this exodus of little deadly snakes come out of the surf and make a beeline for cracks in the seawall to pass the night, and then head out into the water at dawn. We all made sure we were up for both events. Terrific.
And a wonderful post too!
posted by elendil71 at 4:49 PM on August 2, 2006
Well okay then. Decided not to start playing with them.
Other than that, ran across the nasty Banded Sea-snake in Fiji. Little guys that arent really interested in biting you (unless your a tiny fish) and their fangs are apparently in the back of their mouth so they cant bite a human sized person effectively. But a really nasty, deadly poison if they manage it. Coolest thing was they still have to breathe air, and they nest on land at night. It was the niftiest thing to watch this exodus of little deadly snakes come out of the surf and make a beeline for cracks in the seawall to pass the night, and then head out into the water at dawn. We all made sure we were up for both events. Terrific.
And a wonderful post too!
posted by elendil71 at 4:49 PM on August 2, 2006
More on irukandji (wikipedia) - scroll down to Irukandji Syndrome.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:53 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:53 PM on August 2, 2006
a spider with fangs? i can't even click on *any* of these links. and then jimmythefish puts an inline image up?! no images in threads this scary!
weretable...where do you live that you see a brown recluse on your floor? just seeing one would make me move!
posted by Bear at 4:54 PM on August 2, 2006
weretable...where do you live that you see a brown recluse on your floor? just seeing one would make me move!
posted by Bear at 4:54 PM on August 2, 2006
And to top it all off, wait until some Aussie invites you out for a beer. Damn, those people can drink. A year in Australia was hard on my liver.
Know you all know why we drink so much. It's the only way to forget that the whole continent is trying to kill us. It's led over generations to a special, uniquely Aussie sort of fortitude.
Oh, and no-one's mentioned the fact that even the sunlight's lethal in these parts.
posted by Jilder at 5:03 PM on August 2, 2006
At Cronulla beach, where I spent a lot of my childhood & adolescence, there are rockpools where parents will take their toddlers to splash around until they are old enough to handle the surf.
The rockpools have always had warning signs, reading "danger: blue ringed octopuses found in this area". This has never deterred people from letting their kids play here.
I always assumed that there was an anti-venom for blue ringed octopus stings, but you had to get to hospital in fifteen minutes or so before you died. It is a little disturbing to read now that there is no such anti-venom. Perhaps I was just blocking the truth out...?
No matter. I stick to the surf these days. The shark nets are mostly effective, and the Great White Sharks all hang out around Adelaide & Perth anyway.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:09 PM on August 2, 2006
The rockpools have always had warning signs, reading "danger: blue ringed octopuses found in this area". This has never deterred people from letting their kids play here.
I always assumed that there was an anti-venom for blue ringed octopus stings, but you had to get to hospital in fifteen minutes or so before you died. It is a little disturbing to read now that there is no such anti-venom. Perhaps I was just blocking the truth out...?
No matter. I stick to the surf these days. The shark nets are mostly effective, and the Great White Sharks all hang out around Adelaide & Perth anyway.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:09 PM on August 2, 2006
In Terry Pratchett's novel The Last Continent, which is supposed to be "Fourecks" but is really Australia, the character Rincewind spends most of the story being attacked by dangerous poisonous things.
I thought about that book, too. I was trying to find a quote from the passage where Death asks for a a list of all the dangerous animals and gets inundated with paper from above. Then when he ask for a list of the harmless animals a single sheet floats down and says something like, "a few species of sheep." (At least that's how I remember it.) (And, obviously, I couldn't find it quoted online.)
posted by Cyrano at 5:12 PM on August 2, 2006
I thought about that book, too. I was trying to find a quote from the passage where Death asks for a a list of all the dangerous animals and gets inundated with paper from above. Then when he ask for a list of the harmless animals a single sheet floats down and says something like, "a few species of sheep." (At least that's how I remember it.) (And, obviously, I couldn't find it quoted online.)
posted by Cyrano at 5:12 PM on August 2, 2006
Just so we're clear — the Tourism Australia campaign slogan is meant to be taken seriously?
posted by rob511 at 5:42 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by rob511 at 5:42 PM on August 2, 2006
In the incredible documentary "Ring of Fire", one of the brothers finds a small friendly octopus on the beach and playfully lets it crawl over his hands and arms. Only later does he learn that it was a Blue Ring, one of the most poisonous animals in existance. I beleive that the octopus that latches on to the guys face in Octopussy was a blue ring.
posted by 445supermag at 5:42 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by 445supermag at 5:42 PM on August 2, 2006
Oh, and Cyrano? Perhaps you think hopping across the Tasman to gentle Aotearoa (where there are no snakes of any kind) will allow you to escape the harsher side of Mother Nature? 'Fraid not — Black Sheep* ("the New Zealand movie that had to be made") is coming to a horrorplex near you!
*Murderin' mutton pix courtesy of Weta Workshop.
posted by rob511 at 5:59 PM on August 2, 2006
*Murderin' mutton pix courtesy of Weta Workshop.
posted by rob511 at 5:59 PM on August 2, 2006
We also have the urticating (irritating) caterpillars or bondi trams.
posted by tellurian at 6:10 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by tellurian at 6:10 PM on August 2, 2006
Ah, that black sheep obviously went psycho afrom too much unreciprocated attention.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:14 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:14 PM on August 2, 2006
Bondi Trams, huh? I forget what we used to call them. What I do remember is that they hurt like buggery. Even as sometimes sadistic little schoolboys, to catch one and somehow contrive to drop it into somebody's undies was way beyond the pale. Probably because the fear of retribution would have been too great. Nobody wants to live with that kind of anxiety hanging over one's head.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:26 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:26 PM on August 2, 2006
Oh! and don't forget that our mosquitoes carry Dengue Fever, Epidemic Polyarthritis, Japanese and Australian Encephalitis.
posted by tellurian at 6:27 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by tellurian at 6:27 PM on August 2, 2006
weretable...where do you live that you see a brown recluse on your floor? just seeing one would make me move!
Northwest corner of Arkansas (near Fayetteville and the University of Arkansas). They are super common inside houses here and over most of the southeast. I see black widows outside on a nearly daily basis as well. I just watch when I pick up rocks, boards or other things on the ground or against buildings that provide shelter for them.
A few nights ago at about 3 am I woke up with something crawling on my arm. I knocked it off and then jumped up and flipped on the light. Yep, a brown recluse. It went down the toilet and I didn't go back to bed for about an hour. Heh.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 7:07 PM on August 2, 2006
Northwest corner of Arkansas (near Fayetteville and the University of Arkansas). They are super common inside houses here and over most of the southeast. I see black widows outside on a nearly daily basis as well. I just watch when I pick up rocks, boards or other things on the ground or against buildings that provide shelter for them.
A few nights ago at about 3 am I woke up with something crawling on my arm. I knocked it off and then jumped up and flipped on the light. Yep, a brown recluse. It went down the toilet and I didn't go back to bed for about an hour. Heh.
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 7:07 PM on August 2, 2006
Australia is well known for having more than it's
FULL STOP
It's versus its.
Learn the difference. You immediately lose your smartest (and/or most sanctimonious) audience when you pull a 8th grade mistake like that. This is not Slashdot.
[ducks]
posted by intermod at 7:33 PM on August 2, 2006 [1 favorite]
FULL STOP
It's versus its.
Learn the difference. You immediately lose your smartest (and/or most sanctimonious) audience when you pull a 8th grade mistake like that. This is not Slashdot.
[ducks]
posted by intermod at 7:33 PM on August 2, 2006 [1 favorite]
THANKYOU, INTERMOD! WE WOULD NEVER HAVE KNOWN THAT IF YOU HADN'T TOLD US!
posted by Jimbob at 7:51 PM on August 2, 2006
posted by Jimbob at 7:51 PM on August 2, 2006
I got bitten by one of those centipedes upthread. After three days of quite intense pain, the finger continued to ache for about 18 months.
Not recommended!
posted by Wolof at 7:57 PM on August 2, 2006
Not recommended!
posted by Wolof at 7:57 PM on August 2, 2006
The descriptions of Irukanji syndrome and box jellyfish stings made me so sick to my stomach that I literally had to go to the bathroom to make sure I wasn't gonna puke all over myself.
Great post, even if it is better for those with a high yuck tolerance.
posted by anjamu at 10:00 PM on August 2, 2006
Great post, even if it is better for those with a high yuck tolerance.
posted by anjamu at 10:00 PM on August 2, 2006
Deadly Animals
By The Scared Weird Little Guys
Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopus
Taipan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfish
Stonefish and the poison thing that lives in a shell
That spikes you when you pick it up
Come to Australia
You might accidentally get killed
Your life's constantly under threat
Have you been bitten yet?
You've only got three minutes left
Before a massive coronary breakdown
Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopus
Tiapan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfish
Big shark just waiting for you to go swimming
At Bondi Beach
Come to Australia
You might accidentally get killed
Your blood is bound to be spilled
With fear your pants will be filled
Because you might accidentally get killed
posted by JackarypQQ at 11:31 PM on August 2, 2006
By The Scared Weird Little Guys
Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopus
Taipan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfish
Stonefish and the poison thing that lives in a shell
That spikes you when you pick it up
Come to Australia
You might accidentally get killed
Your life's constantly under threat
Have you been bitten yet?
You've only got three minutes left
Before a massive coronary breakdown
Redback, Funnel-Web, Blue-ringed octopus
Tiapan, Tigersnake and a Box jellyfish
Big shark just waiting for you to go swimming
At Bondi Beach
Come to Australia
You might accidentally get killed
Your blood is bound to be spilled
With fear your pants will be filled
Because you might accidentally get killed
posted by JackarypQQ at 11:31 PM on August 2, 2006
yeah, What a bunch of big girls blouses. Here in Sydney, you can even tell a person's social class by the quality of their venemous household spiders. Funnel Webs predominate around the upper class north shore. Plebs like me have to make do with redbacks.
posted by Nasty Canasta at 2:39 AM on August 3, 2006
posted by Nasty Canasta at 2:39 AM on August 3, 2006
Melbourne, which is pretty much temporate and free of most of the poisonous creatures has a poisonous river running through it. Depending on the time of year, pollution varies between human, livestock and dog faeces.
posted by asok at 2:45 AM on August 3, 2006
posted by asok at 2:45 AM on August 3, 2006
rob511: That tourism campaign made big news here. It was banned or censored in a few countries. Tourism Australia don't seem to understand that the rest of the world doesn't understand Australian slang in the same way that ... Australians do.
But the only reason we really want tourists here is to send them to Uluru (previously Ayers Rock), which is pretty much in the middle of the elipse-of-death on JimBob's excellent map.
We've gotta feed the beasties something, otherwise they'll come to the cities, looking for food.
posted by Diag at 3:23 AM on August 3, 2006
But the only reason we really want tourists here is to send them to Uluru (previously Ayers Rock), which is pretty much in the middle of the elipse-of-death on JimBob's excellent map.
We've gotta feed the beasties something, otherwise they'll come to the cities, looking for food.
posted by Diag at 3:23 AM on August 3, 2006
Learn the difference. You immediately lose your smartest (and/or most sanctimonious) audience when you pull a 8th grade mistake like that. This is not Slashdot.
Shouldn't that be "...when you pull an 8th grade mistake like that."?
Nice post, watuc. The bloody shrimp on the barbi is probably poisonous too.
posted by Devils Slide at 3:43 AM on August 3, 2006
Shouldn't that be "...when you pull an 8th grade mistake like that."?
Nice post, watuc. The bloody shrimp on the barbi is probably poisonous too.
posted by Devils Slide at 3:43 AM on August 3, 2006
If I had a house in one of those countries with too many creepy crawly things, I believe I would build a moat around the house. Make it narrow enough to hop across if you're human and not too drunk but a pain in the ass if you're something small and fanged and venomous. Then fill it with spider-munching fish. Maybe raise a colony of tame meerkats, too. No doubt I would be eaten by fish and meerkats in a coordinated uprising -- trip, slip, splash, aaiiiiiiiiiiieee! -- but better fish and meerkats than huge fuck-off spiders with venom that melts the flesh off your body and destroys your nervous system and decants your soul into little wet beads of fear on a vibrating web.
posted by pracowity at 3:45 AM on August 3, 2006 [1 favorite]
posted by pracowity at 3:45 AM on August 3, 2006 [1 favorite]
baaah, by Aussie standards, redback spiders like the ones in my back shed are barely worth mentioning. Their venom is so weak they usually only manage to kill children and old people.
posted by Nasty Canasta at 3:59 AM on August 3, 2006
posted by Nasty Canasta at 3:59 AM on August 3, 2006
baaah, by Aussie standards...
Which sheep joke should I make here?
posted by pracowity at 4:18 AM on August 3, 2006
Which sheep joke should I make here?
posted by pracowity at 4:18 AM on August 3, 2006
Pracowity - no need to make more jokes. That earlier paragraph with the moat ruined my monitor.
posted by Sk4n at 6:49 AM on August 3, 2006
posted by Sk4n at 6:49 AM on August 3, 2006
77 comments and no-one's yet mentioned the children-eating dingoes?
The bloody shrimp on the barbi is probably poisonous too.
Nah, mate. No shrimp in Australia, only prawns.
ah, ye bunch of wusses.
Yep. The bigger the spider the greater the capacity for mosquitoes. Learn to love the poison! I've been running around the Aussie bush and swimming in the ocean for years and have never had a serious bite - I think the dangers are somewhat overstated. Ah well, if it makes youse think we're tough and hard-arse it's all good (and as an Aussie chick it's nice to find out I'm a Hottie McHotster as well - ta!).
posted by goo at 7:02 AM on August 3, 2006
The bloody shrimp on the barbi is probably poisonous too.
Nah, mate. No shrimp in Australia, only prawns.
ah, ye bunch of wusses.
Yep. The bigger the spider the greater the capacity for mosquitoes. Learn to love the poison! I've been running around the Aussie bush and swimming in the ocean for years and have never had a serious bite - I think the dangers are somewhat overstated. Ah well, if it makes youse think we're tough and hard-arse it's all good (and as an Aussie chick it's nice to find out I'm a Hottie McHotster as well - ta!).
posted by goo at 7:02 AM on August 3, 2006
and as an Aussie chick it's nice to find out I'm a Hottie McHotster as well - ta!
We'll be needing pics, now.
posted by thanotopsis at 7:46 AM on August 3, 2006
We'll be needing pics, now.
posted by thanotopsis at 7:46 AM on August 3, 2006
Why do I keep looking under my desk?
I live in Jacksonville Beach, Florida.
posted by NationalKato at 8:23 AM on August 3, 2006
I live in Jacksonville Beach, Florida.
posted by NationalKato at 8:23 AM on August 3, 2006
We'll be needing pics, now.
Ah seen her furst!/O Brother, Where Art Thou
posted by Devils Slide at 8:24 AM on August 3, 2006
Ah seen her furst!/O Brother, Where Art Thou
posted by Devils Slide at 8:24 AM on August 3, 2006
And I thought the worst part about being Australian was that you had to walk around uopside down all the time.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:35 AM on August 3, 2006 [1 favorite]
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:35 AM on August 3, 2006 [1 favorite]
L .. L .. L .. leech swarms?
*crosses Australia off her list of places to visit*
posted by deborah at 3:02 PM on August 3, 2006
*crosses Australia off her list of places to visit*
posted by deborah at 3:02 PM on August 3, 2006
We'll be needing pics, now.
Shhh! Keep it down, mate! The spiders!!!
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:44 PM on August 3, 2006
Shhh! Keep it down, mate! The spiders!!!
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:44 PM on August 3, 2006
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This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
If you want to visit the beautiful reefs it would be wise to watch out for the deadly box
jellyfish which is responsible for more deaths than snakes and crocodiles put together. There are also several other types of jellyfish, the dangerous cone shells, bluebottles , stingrays of many types, the blue-ringed octupus (the size of a golfball, it can kill in minutes with a venom that has no known cure), lionfish, stonefish, the 165 types of sharks found in waters around Australia, and of course saltwater crocodiles. Freshwater crocodiles might be smaller and less apt to kill a human, but are still dangerous.
There are also ticks that carry a variety of diseases and the famous platypus, an egg-laying mammal with venomous spurs that can cause extreme pain. Bulldog ants and particularly the jack jumper ant can cause anaphylactic shock in a small percentage of the population. And the continent has two types of fire ants as well, including the South American type that has plagued Texas and other parts of the southern U.S. In relatively recent times South American cane toads were added to the mix to control pests and became pests themselves.
(sorry for the delay, firefox crashed)
posted by weretable and the undead chairs at 1:36 PM on August 2, 2006 [1 favorite]