A Rose is a Rose is a...well, not always

January 2, 2007 11:21 PM

Floramagica[NSFW]. Beautiful photoshopped images of flowers.
posted by sluglicker (50 comments total)

While this is neat, why bother photoshop? Flowers are awfully vaginal in and of themselves. (See Exhibit A).
posted by grapefruitmoon at 11:31 PM on January 2, 2007

You know if I see one more image of flower as female sex organ I might just go bash my head against the nearest brick wall until I'm a lifeless lump of moldering meat... seriously. It pretty much peaked with Georgia O Keefe.

Yes yes flowers are sex organs and omygosh they kinda look like you know...
posted by edgeways at 11:36 PM on January 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

hey, edge, does this make you feel better?
posted by carmina at 11:39 PM on January 2, 2007

(i)
posted by tehloki at 11:39 PM on January 2, 2007 [1 favorite]

NSFW? Why, I don't see what's so....so....
.....
Ew.

Yeah yeah yeah. Symbolism. I got it. But really, now, I don't find these beautiful at all. Were they pictures of just flowers, then yes, I would totally agree that the photos are beautiful.

But if I were to photoshop penises into landscape photos I'm sure some people might find that it detracts from the photo, no?
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 11:46 PM on January 2, 2007

Depends on the people and the landscapes...
posted by stenseng at 11:50 PM on January 2, 2007

I don't see anything NSFW... You people are all just dirty-minded pervs...

*puts on glasses*

Ohhhhh
posted by amyms at 12:00 AM on January 3, 2007

Isn't this a little objectifying? More than a little? Kind of disgusting. I'm no prude, believe me. But this reminds me of a restaurant/ sports bar where I live called "Bigguns." It's a burger, fries and beer kind of joint, and the burgers are named after cup sizes (i.e., a "double quarter pounder" is a 34DD, etc.). Eat breasts, tiptoe through clitorises? Blech. A woman is more than her composite parts.
posted by HerArchitectLover at 12:08 AM on January 3, 2007

Wow, those are amazing images! Cool post sluglicker. Trying to find out more about Hermann Försterling, all I could come up with were some pretty dark photos, such as this one, this or this.

Yes, O'Keefe did it six ways till Sunday. But I think Hermann Försterling's adoration of the petalled vulva is more graphically playful and beautifully erotic.
posted by nickyskye at 12:10 AM on January 3, 2007

Kind of disgusting.

ohh, some strong words.

Isn't this a little objectifying?

Well, I, FWIW, do not think so. I would not feel offended if there were photoshopped toes, knees, boobs or this. As much. It is done tastefully, I think. Unlike the restaurant you describe, probably. The photographer did not photoshop penises, but it's his choice. I cannot hold that against him.
posted by carmina at 12:21 AM on January 3, 2007

On to the Beaver Trilogy...
posted by Tube at 12:32 AM on January 3, 2007

Isn't this a little objectifying?

I'd think this would be the bare-bones DEFINITION of objectifying.
Yeah, and I agree with edgeways and grapefruitmoon... Georgia O'Keefe already did this, a long time ago and with artistry.
I just want to meet the guy who masturbates to these images and give him handsh.... a pat on the back.
posted by eparchos at 1:33 AM on January 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

Well, I suppose it could be seen as a reduction to extremes and a critique of O'Keefe. I guess this is sort of the mounted elephant head on the CEO's office wall where O'Keefe would be the pet ocelot in the luxurious mansion of the famous Hollywood star.
Art, you are confusing!
posted by eparchos at 1:36 AM on January 3, 2007

Eponysterical
posted by asok at 3:04 AM on January 3, 2007 [3 favorites]

But what do the plants think about having the private parts of an animal grafted onto their private parts? My plant-ESP says they go EW EW EW.


> it could be seen as a reduction to extremes and a critique of O'Keefe.

"Ninety per cent of all art is imitation a critique of other art."
- H. L. Mencken, revised
posted by jfuller at 4:14 AM on January 3, 2007

ut this reminds me of a restaurant/ sports bar where I live called "Bigguns."

I think that your first priority should be to stop living in a bar that you don't like. Crusading about objectification can wait.
posted by Mayor Curley at 4:20 AM on January 3, 2007

But if I were to photoshop penises into landscape photos I'm sure some people might find that it detracts from the photo, no?

Sure. Then again, some people feel that almost any photoshopping detracts from a photo. All a question of degree, I suppose. And personal taste.

I think these vagina-shopped flowers are really stupid. Looks like the book won some sort of German photobook prize, though. So there you go: there's no accounting for taste.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:04 AM on January 3, 2007

I like the flowers.

Thanks sluglicker.
posted by rmmcclay at 5:12 AM on January 3, 2007

Not only did O'Keefe do it first, she did it BETTER. These look llike penthouse shots that are poorly photoshoped by some hack artist.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 5:12 AM on January 3, 2007

I like the essential idea of vagina flowers. I think it's important for a lot of women to learn to love their whole selves, starting, you know, there. What could be better than an artful exploration of ladyparts? Photorealism venturing to uncharted terrains watercolors could never visit! Just marvelous.

That said, aren't these photos kind of gruesome? I mean, some are really well done, especially on the fleshier-looking blossoms, but for the most part (and pardon my crassness) these look like what they really are: flaps of meat hanging off the petals of flowers. In fact, the words that come to mind are, "Feed me, Seymour!" And, ew.

I really, really hope this isn't what the artist intended.
posted by jennanemone at 5:47 AM on January 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

Sometimes a pistil is just a pistil.
posted by Pastabagel at 6:12 AM on January 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

I dunno. They're simply nice. Why all the bellyaching? Vulvae are interesting. Goddam, back to work....
posted by fcummins at 6:15 AM on January 3, 2007

Nothing like a green vagina to start off the morning!
posted by jaded at 6:19 AM on January 3, 2007

That was fun...NEXT!
posted by winks007 at 6:35 AM on January 3, 2007

You know, it's just a couple of pratfalls down this particular slippery slope before you get to furries drawing pictures of tigers with big eyelashes, kissy lips, and boobs.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 6:44 AM on January 3, 2007

I would totally fuck that flowerbed.
posted by ColdChef at 6:47 AM on January 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

I would totally fuck that flowerbed.

Heh. You don't stand a chance with that flowerbed.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:00 AM on January 3, 2007

Now I feel inspired to start a penises-as-meat-products photo series.
posted by katillathehun at 7:02 AM on January 3, 2007

I was interested at first... then a little more interested... more interested... VERY interested... INCREDIBLY interested... then suddenly lost interest.






Stole that from Kevin Nealon of all people.
posted by Mister_A at 7:08 AM on January 3, 2007

I think we all know how they taste, though.
posted by emelenjr at 7:17 AM on January 3, 2007

That flowerbed is my mother.
posted by Dizzy at 7:58 AM on January 3, 2007

They taste like this.
posted by Mister_A at 8:45 AM on January 3, 2007

Vulva
(it's what's on the outside).

Vagina
(is what is inside).
posted by nickyskye at 9:15 AM on January 3, 2007

It is still correct to call the whole works the "pussy" though.
posted by Mister_A at 9:19 AM on January 3, 2007

Isn't this a little objectifying?

Ooooh, someone's getting laid tonight.
posted by sidereal at 10:06 AM on January 3, 2007

Ooooh, someone's getting laid tonight.

Yeah, MeFi posts get me laid every time. Especially when they're favorited.
posted by HerArchitectLover at 11:30 AM on January 3, 2007

These are disgusting. And I'm a big fan of pussy.

Mister_A,

What the hell is a culele? The Google, she show me nothing.
posted by dozo at 11:56 AM on January 3, 2007

Esta es la culele.

iMuy peligroso por trabajo! (MPPT/NSFW)
posted by Mister_A at 12:47 PM on January 3, 2007

*Barf*
posted by dozo at 12:54 PM on January 3, 2007

Just for the record, the artist who painted flowers that you're all referring to was named Georgia O'Keeffe. Two 'f's.

(Just trying to help out future Mefi searchers who know how to spell it, I swear.)
posted by obliquicity at 1:07 PM on January 3, 2007

My next project is going to be beautifully photoshopped pictures of raw oysters.
posted by Brittanie at 4:53 PM on January 3, 2007

You got your flowers on my vaginas!!!

You got your vaginas on my flowers!!!

Flowers and vaginas. Two great things that shouldn't be photoshopped together.
posted by The Deej at 6:19 PM on January 3, 2007

I like this, but I've always been sort of yonipositive.
posted by jessamyn at 7:00 PM on January 3, 2007

Our Bodies, Ourselves.

Flowers penis. Banana pepper. Hyper real penis. Our bodies, what's not to like?
posted by nickyskye at 8:00 PM on January 3, 2007

Our bodies, what's not to like?

The spare tire and receding hairline I'm saddled with in my middle age.

*sob*
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:12 PM on January 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

I want to see all the women I work with naked.
posted by kookoobirdz at 9:52 PM on January 3, 2007

Hyper real penis.

My penis doesn't even look that real.
posted by The Deej at 9:59 PM on January 3, 2007

I want to see all the women I work with naked.

Betcha the feeling isn't mutual, though. Hey, just kidding! They probably all think of you at night as they lie in bed and, um, touch their flowers.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:32 PM on January 3, 2007

Metafilter: yonipositive.
posted by Mitheral at 11:55 PM on January 3, 2007

Yeah, MeFi posts get me laid every time. Especially when they're favorited.

I've never considered this approach. My hat's off to you, sir.
posted by sidereal at 12:45 AM on January 4, 2007