The deadliest weapon on earth!!1!

February 19, 2007 9:02 AM

Beware of the flying guillotine! supposedly created for the emperor Yung Cheng of the Qing dynasty, the flying guillotine was featured in some of the strangest martial arts movies of the 70s and even challenged the not-so-legendary one armed boxer (not to be confused with the really legendary one armed swordsman).
posted by darkripper (35 comments total)

THAT's not a Flying Guillotine! This is a flying guillotine.
posted by tkchrist at 9:15 AM on February 19, 2007

Aw, this must be the precursor to Fatal Flying Guillotine. A giant bell on a string with a buzzsaw blade round the soundbow - awesome.
posted by RokkitNite at 9:20 AM on February 19, 2007

Greatest. Film. Ever.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:41 AM on February 19, 2007

IMDB Link for 'Master of the Flying Guillotine' Definitely one of the coolest martial arts films ever.
posted by imaswinger at 9:41 AM on February 19, 2007

"Anti-Ching Elements." Heh.
posted by koeselitz at 9:44 AM on February 19, 2007

I'd have to imagine that the few seconds between the time when that thing lands on your head and you think, "Well, I'm pretty much fucked," and the time your head goes *boink* probably blow.
posted by Cyrano at 9:54 AM on February 19, 2007

dooood!

These clips bring me back to the mid-80s, hanging out with friends on a rainy Sunday afternoon and making fun of bad kung fu flicks.

Thanks, darkripper!
posted by jason's_planet at 9:55 AM on February 19, 2007

My favorite part: the bit in trailer in the "challenged" link where The Master of the Flying Guillotine! has to challenge The Man Who Can Do That Thing Where You Wiggle Your Ears A Little! Not to mention The Man With Arms That Get Really Long, Like A Foot Or Two Longer Than Normal!
posted by koeselitz at 9:59 AM on February 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

protect yo neck.
posted by das_2099 at 10:16 AM on February 19, 2007

Bah. Your Kung Fu is no match for my Yoga! Now go away or I will taunt you a second time.
posted by homunculus at 10:18 AM on February 19, 2007

Wow, I saw some of Master of the Flying Guillotine a couple of years ago at about 2:00 in the morning on public access TV but never could find the name of what it was that I saw.
posted by Venadium at 10:19 AM on February 19, 2007

Haunted flying death orbs are better.

PHANTASM!!!! The most supremely awesome movie in the gigaverse.

These clips bring me back to the mid-80s,

Me too. Only actually sparring bad Kung Fu practitioners who watched bad Kung Fu movies. A couple of those guys would actually show up with wearing the cheapo little shiny satin frog button outfits with the white cuffs. Inevitably the sleeves would tear right off. One guy even would narrate himself as he sparred.

"Gall Bladder Strike 33!"

So. So. Funny.
posted by tkchrist at 10:29 AM on February 19, 2007

I'd have to imagine that the few seconds between the time when that thing lands on your head and you think, "Well, I'm pretty much fucked," and the time your head goes *boink* probably blow.

I heard that the brain stays alive for approximately a minute and a half after decapitation. Enough for you to fly back into the Master's hands then sort of roll out into the long grass. Ignominious, to say the least.
posted by RokkitNite at 10:34 AM on February 19, 2007

I particularly enjoyed the comment on the first youtube link about how that weapon is totally impractical.
posted by gordie at 11:02 AM on February 19, 2007

Perhaps a brief flying-guillotine-type-weapon retrospective is in order:

Odd Job
I Come in Peace
Wild Wild West
Krull
posted by Muddler at 11:10 AM on February 19, 2007

Master of the Flying Guillotine is cool for a number of reasons. It builds nicely; the initial bouts at the martial arts tournament seem pretty realistic. As it rolls along, however, the combats become wilder and wilder, until it finishes up with some over-the-top Popeye vs Bluto action.

I also appreciate the One-Armed Boxer's approach to combat: "Anyone who relies on his kung fu skills is an idiot!" He has no qualms at all about littering the battlefield with hidden traps and weapons to spring on the bad guy. Call me cynical, but that seems like a smarter approach than relying on your purity of spirit or native goodness to carry the day.
posted by SPrintF at 11:17 AM on February 19, 2007

protect yo neck

All I Really Need To Know I Learned From the Wu-Tang Clan
posted by eddydamascene at 11:32 AM on February 19, 2007

Never mind about that what about this!
posted by criticalbill at 12:03 PM on February 19, 2007

The Chinese Wikipedia entry on this weapon is sadly way too brief.

In martial arts novels, they are exclusively used by evil government spy agencies and contain poison/corrosive agent that can melt the victim's head, bone & all, in an instant. That detail used to give me nightmares.
posted by of strange foe at 12:22 PM on February 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

I'd finally come to the conclusion that my youthful mind had made the flying guillotine up all those years ago, and here you go shaking my foundations again.
posted by lekvar at 12:51 PM on February 19, 2007

You think you can challenge my tiger-crane style? Let's begin!
posted by electroboy at 1:05 PM on February 19, 2007

Perhaps you are also familiar with the Flying Guillotine's cousin, the Gobbler Guillotine.

The video is, well, nothing short of disturbing.

These products scare the hell out of turkeys AND me.
posted by Muddler at 1:40 PM on February 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

GO AND GET DEATH!
posted by breezeway at 1:40 PM on February 19, 2007

So this yo-yo, it vibrates?
posted by jenkinsEar at 1:44 PM on February 19, 2007

If it's "Qing", then it has to be Yongzheng. If it's "Ch'ing", then it has to be Yung-cheng. If it's "Ching", then you're being sloppy and anything goes.
posted by jiawen at 1:53 PM on February 19, 2007

I caught this flick at the SE Portland Clinton Street theater (known for the longest run of Rocky Horror), and it was a blast with friends. They seemed to show it every six months or so, about as often as The Warriors would recycle by word of mouth, but I haven't seen it around town since. Next time I went to the theater for a film fest, I was using the men's restroom, and when I stepped to the mirror -- the Master of the Flying Guillotine poster was lurking behind me on the wall!
posted by asfuller at 2:03 PM on February 19, 2007

The Laughing Yogi on the Related links from the first one scares the hell out of me!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wtiYMfNPE-k&mode=related&search=

My Link Fu is Weak...
Please Cut and Paste
posted by Elim at 2:16 PM on February 19, 2007

SPrintF, you beat me to the punch. That was my favorite part of the movie. I loved the way he would analyze his enemies and plot traps specifically aimed at neutralizing their strengths.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:52 PM on February 19, 2007

Oh, someone is working on a remake.
posted by darkripper at 3:00 PM on February 19, 2007

Everybody Yung Cheng tonight.
posted by davy at 3:36 PM on February 19, 2007

"We'll fight alone, just as we used to do in those days."

"All right ... fight just like we used to do."
posted by bwg at 4:15 PM on February 19, 2007

tkchrist: "THAT's not a Flying Guillotine! This is a flying guillotine."

I'm pretty sure that that was Drinkie Schwartz with his bear suit removed!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:58 PM on February 19, 2007

"If it's "Qing", then it has to be Yongzheng. If it's "Ch'ing", then it has to be Yung-cheng. If it's "Ching", then you're being sloppy and anything goes."

Some people's fields of study are not related to the intricacies of the proper rendering of Chinese in roman languages. It also doesn't help us that every freakin year there's a hundred new rules to follow. So Ching it is until academics that study the Romanization of Chinese can decide upon a standard way to do it.
posted by Sukiari at 8:13 PM on February 19, 2007

I remember Anthony Wong using one of these in the cult classic Heroic Trio (1993). In that movie, it seemed practically ... normal.

Sukiari: So Ching it is until academics that study the Romanization of Chinese can decide upon a standard way to do it.

It's not academic, it's political. Pinyin is the Romanization method used by the PRC; Wade-Giles is an older method, still used in Taiwan. Pinyin is the one with the Qs and Zs.
posted by russilwvong at 10:58 PM on February 19, 2007

"Crap, man. You don't see that every day. I mean that doesn't seem possible with all those body organs and cartilage and bones. I mean, I'm no doctor but that was like one clean chunk."
posted by Midnight Creeper at 11:34 AM on February 20, 2007