De-DUCT-ive Reasoning
February 23, 2007 3:30 PM Subscribe
How do you subdue a crazed astronaut? Duct Tape! By now we've all heard of astronaut Lisa Nowak's diaper-clad race to kidnap/kill her competition for fellow astronaut Bill Oefelein, but today we learned how NASA plans to deal with such trouble-makers in space: duct tape them into submission. NASA's idea isn't very original - restraining people with duct tape has been well documented in the movies, for use on airplanes, by bad parents, and for unruly patients.
So, it appears this miracle adhesive can not only save us from terrorists, it can save us from ourselves. Bless you duct tape.
I was just about to ask what the difference was between duct and gaffer's tape.
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 3:46 PM on February 23, 2007
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 3:46 PM on February 23, 2007
you can't tie up the old gaffer with duct tape
posted by pyramid termite at 3:47 PM on February 23, 2007
posted by pyramid termite at 3:47 PM on February 23, 2007
You don't need tape at all. Just a bar of soap.
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 3:55 PM on February 23, 2007
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 3:55 PM on February 23, 2007
Gaff tape is black and tears a hell of a lot easier.
And we haven't been using duct tape for unruly patients. We still have leather restraints, although believe me, duct tape is awfully tempting sometimes.
posted by drstein at 3:55 PM on February 23, 2007
And we haven't been using duct tape for unruly patients. We still have leather restraints, although believe me, duct tape is awfully tempting sometimes.
posted by drstein at 3:55 PM on February 23, 2007
duct tape is really painful--and barbaric--maybe they should just improve their screening process? spike their Tang?
posted by amberglow at 4:09 PM on February 23, 2007
posted by amberglow at 4:09 PM on February 23, 2007
It's great for tying up ducks, too. That's actually the origin of the name: the t in duct is simply a mispelling, should be a k.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:10 PM on February 23, 2007
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:10 PM on February 23, 2007
Muddler posted "By now we've all heard of astronaut Lisa Nowak's diaper-clad race to kidnap/kill her competition for fellow astronaut Bill Oefelein"
Actually, no, I hadn't, but I have now. Thanks.
posted by Bugbread at 4:11 PM on February 23, 2007
Actually, no, I hadn't, but I have now. Thanks.
posted by Bugbread at 4:11 PM on February 23, 2007
The concept of diapering-up and getting your assualt on hasn't reached Japan yet? And I though they were the vanguard.
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 4:13 PM on February 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 4:13 PM on February 23, 2007 [1 favorite]
The astronaut's, parent's, FBI's, EMT's and handyman's secret weapon!
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 4:14 PM on February 23, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 4:14 PM on February 23, 2007 [2 favorites]
No, No Flapjax-- that is just an old wive's tale. No it was originally invented for closing off tear ducts. Or maybe it was Aquaducts.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:17 PM on February 23, 2007
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 4:17 PM on February 23, 2007
Actually, it was meant for throwing at people's heads. As in: "duck! tape!"
that was bad.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 4:19 PM on February 23, 2007
that was bad.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 4:19 PM on February 23, 2007
joseph: It may have, but I don't watch TV, nor read the paper, nor read the news on the net. Basically, I get all my current events information from osmosis. It all reaches me, but it takes much, much longer (didn't know about the second space shuttle explosion until late last year! That freaked me out. "What, another space shuttle blew up, and it took me three years to find out about it?!?!")
posted by Bugbread at 4:23 PM on February 23, 2007
posted by Bugbread at 4:23 PM on February 23, 2007
Looking forward to duct-tape astronaut bondage porn here....
posted by pax digita at 4:24 PM on February 23, 2007
posted by pax digita at 4:24 PM on February 23, 2007
So bugbread is living proof that newsfilter has merit? Golly.
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 4:27 PM on February 23, 2007
posted by joseph_elmhurst at 4:27 PM on February 23, 2007
It is now only a matter of time before the TSA bans passengers from carrying duct tape aboard jets. Face it, it's just too versatile, and in the hands of an expert, flat-out deadly. You don't want people using it to make impromptu nunchuks, do you?
posted by Midnight Creeper at 4:40 PM on February 23, 2007
posted by Midnight Creeper at 4:40 PM on February 23, 2007
My cousin is a state cop, on the swat team, in the trunk of his cruiser, he has a few different guns, a flashlight, a sleeping bag and some survival gear, body armor, mace, night stick, etc...
and a roll of duct tape. cause you never know.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 4:47 PM on February 23, 2007
and a roll of duct tape. cause you never know.
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 4:47 PM on February 23, 2007
These (acute psychosis) PDFs (suicide emergency) have been online (anaphylaxis) for years (SpaceRef ISS page with around 80 PDFs covering Routine and Emergency procedures).
It took the AP three weeks to dig these up?
posted by chimaera at 5:07 PM on February 23, 2007
It took the AP three weeks to dig these up?
posted by chimaera at 5:07 PM on February 23, 2007
Duct Tape - Good for many things, but not for ducts.
posted by BeerFilter at 7:15 PM on February 23, 2007
posted by BeerFilter at 7:15 PM on February 23, 2007
If there's something that can't be done with duct tape, should it really be done?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:36 PM on February 23, 2007
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:36 PM on February 23, 2007
But what if the crazy astronaut uses the duct tape on the rest?
posted by jouke at 11:10 PM on February 23, 2007
posted by jouke at 11:10 PM on February 23, 2007
In my high school physics class we posited that cherry flavored duct tape would be more humane for taping people's mouths shut.
Yeah, that's the only thing I took away from that class. I remember nothing about rotational mechanics, but cherry flavored duct tape still seems like a good idea.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:01 AM on February 24, 2007
Yeah, that's the only thing I took away from that class. I remember nothing about rotational mechanics, but cherry flavored duct tape still seems like a good idea.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 12:01 AM on February 24, 2007
In space, no one can hear you scream... at least not if you've got duct tape over your mouth.
posted by katemonster at 9:08 AM on February 24, 2007
posted by katemonster at 9:08 AM on February 24, 2007
Yeah, duct tape is really awful for sealing ducts, especially ones carrying warm air. I guess the etymology is that it was called duck tape in part because it was based on cotton duck, a kind of fabric, and that it was waterproof and could seal ammunition cases, hence the (quack like a) duck moniker.
I'm hazier on exactly why the name was changed to duct tape, when it did such a poor job on ducting.
posted by porpoise at 12:36 PM on February 24, 2007
I'm hazier on exactly why the name was changed to duct tape, when it did such a poor job on ducting.
posted by porpoise at 12:36 PM on February 24, 2007
what if the crazy astronaut uses the duct tape on the rest?
That's the risk the space-faring must take for their greater good. Remember, duct-tape doesn't restrain astronauts, astronauts do.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:50 PM on February 24, 2007
That's the risk the space-faring must take for their greater good. Remember, duct-tape doesn't restrain astronauts, astronauts do.
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:50 PM on February 24, 2007
When duct tape is outlawed, only outlaws will have duct tape.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:46 PM on February 24, 2007
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:46 PM on February 24, 2007
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posted by eriko at 3:45 PM on February 23, 2007