Dear Mrs. Cho
April 18, 2007 5:30 PM Subscribe
Dear Mrs. Cho Silicon Valley Moms Blog has an interesting entry from Dr. Joyce Hoffspiegel, Ph.D entitled, A letter to Mrs. Cho. The clinical psychologist from California goes out on a professional limb.
This post was deleted for the following reason: This sort of thing is probably better directed to open thread. -- cortex
I would guess that he never learned to communicate painful feelings through sharing or talking things out with others.
I was thinking about this during lunch.
The poor guy found it easier to pick up a gun and kill thirty people than turn to another person and say:
"I'm lonely."
"I don't think I can handle this. I need to take a semester off."
"I feel like crying."
posted by jason's_planet at 5:47 PM on April 18, 2007
I was thinking about this during lunch.
The poor guy found it easier to pick up a gun and kill thirty people than turn to another person and say:
"I'm lonely."
"I don't think I can handle this. I need to take a semester off."
"I feel like crying."
posted by jason's_planet at 5:47 PM on April 18, 2007
To be fair, I is right next to O.
posted by synaesthetichaze at 5:47 PM on April 18, 2007
posted by synaesthetichaze at 5:47 PM on April 18, 2007
Although I never met your son and did not professionally evaluate him I have some impression of his internal landscape or his internal psychodynamics.
I really hope this woman isn't a doctor IRL. Analysing someone across the country without having met them is very Frist/Schiavo and the definition of unprofessional.
But I agree that Margaret Cho isn't that funny.
posted by bardic at 5:49 PM on April 18, 2007
I really hope this woman isn't a doctor IRL. Analysing someone across the country without having met them is very Frist/Schiavo and the definition of unprofessional.
But I agree that Margaret Cho isn't that funny.
posted by bardic at 5:49 PM on April 18, 2007
From the comments in the article: This is a wonderful post -- the best I have read. Truly insightful and taking a big risk by going against the conventional wisdom of blaming the family. Mike
Posted by: Mike Asher | April 18, 2007 at 02:48 PM
Is it the conventional wisdom to blame the family? I didn't realize this, and if it is indeed "conventional", it strikes me as being wrong to blame anybody but the perpetrator. I always thought it was obvious that the family must be going through some horrible feelings when their husband/wife/son/daughter/etc. goes off the deep end and does something terrible.
Anyway, good on this psychologist to point it out. Hopefully the family won't be ostracized...
I thought the same thing about the doc, bardic.
posted by ashbury at 5:50 PM on April 18, 2007
Posted by: Mike Asher | April 18, 2007 at 02:48 PM
Is it the conventional wisdom to blame the family? I didn't realize this, and if it is indeed "conventional", it strikes me as being wrong to blame anybody but the perpetrator. I always thought it was obvious that the family must be going through some horrible feelings when their husband/wife/son/daughter/etc. goes off the deep end and does something terrible.
Anyway, good on this psychologist to point it out. Hopefully the family won't be ostracized...
I thought the same thing about the doc, bardic.
posted by ashbury at 5:50 PM on April 18, 2007
Sign #14 Of Media Circosity: A blog post by a stranger psychoanalyzing the family of the (alleged!) perpetrator is newsworthy.
posted by DU at 5:52 PM on April 18, 2007
posted by DU at 5:52 PM on April 18, 2007
Yes, the spelling and grammar aren't what they could be, but I appreciate what she's saying here and the fact that she made the effort to say it -- though I don't imagine Ms. Cho will ever actually read it. (And I haven't heard anything about the father being dead -- perhaps she could have mentioned Mr. Cho as well?)
posted by uosuaq at 5:52 PM on April 18, 2007
posted by uosuaq at 5:52 PM on April 18, 2007
Christ what a fucking presumptuous, fatuous blowhard. She should find a better outlet for her narcissism.
posted by docpops at 5:57 PM on April 18, 2007 [4 favorites]
posted by docpops at 5:57 PM on April 18, 2007 [4 favorites]
I appreciate her sentiment, but the way it's couched really rankles me. "Dear Ms. Cho: I'm very sorry for your loss. Now allow me to tell you my theory about what went wrong with your son, a complete stranger, based entirely on media reports. You understand that I'm sympathetic, right?" It strikes me as ridiculously condescending. There's no need for her to wrap her analysis in this maudlin baloney.
posted by phooky at 5:58 PM on April 18, 2007
posted by phooky at 5:58 PM on April 18, 2007
My impression from various news articles is that the Chos barely spoke English, so this effort is likely to be wasted.
posted by desjardins at 6:01 PM on April 18, 2007
posted by desjardins at 6:01 PM on April 18, 2007
This is really summed up with her statement "I speculate...."
Why is this here.... ?
Are we going to post a link to every idiot's speculation about this event...
posted by HuronBob at 6:01 PM on April 18, 2007
Why is this here.... ?
Are we going to post a link to every idiot's speculation about this event...
posted by HuronBob at 6:01 PM on April 18, 2007
Again the media massages the ego of a killer. He took time out while gunning down unarmed civilians to mail a news package to NBC, and his desires were met when pictures of him angrily brandishing weapons at the camera were splashed on big screen TVs all over the world. Now he's being psychoanalysed across the grave.
All the while, the next attention-seeking sociopath observes our morbid fascination and learns.
posted by CynicalKnight at 6:04 PM on April 18, 2007
All the while, the next attention-seeking sociopath observes our morbid fascination and learns.
posted by CynicalKnight at 6:04 PM on April 18, 2007
When a big media event like this gets rolling everyone out there watching the 24 hour coverage of tragedy starts doing their own armchair psychoanalysis of the event.
Which makes sense, we're being bombarded by this storm of incessant speculative media detailing a terrible thing that happened and every what-if in between to kill time. Seeing this I imagine most people wonder "why", which is generally a best practice for survival.
I would hope Dr. Hoffspiegel, being somewhat educated in the ways of humanity, would understand that her lunch-break analysis of third and fourth hand information could not possibly provide any meaningful insight. I would hope that perhaps she might choose to post such a thing in a different mode: as Joyce Hoffspiegel instead of as Dr. Joyce Hoffspiegel, Ph.D.
"The clinical psychologist" what?
posted by Matt Oneiros at 6:08 PM on April 18, 2007
Which makes sense, we're being bombarded by this storm of incessant speculative media detailing a terrible thing that happened and every what-if in between to kill time. Seeing this I imagine most people wonder "why", which is generally a best practice for survival.
I would hope Dr. Hoffspiegel, being somewhat educated in the ways of humanity, would understand that her lunch-break analysis of third and fourth hand information could not possibly provide any meaningful insight. I would hope that perhaps she might choose to post such a thing in a different mode: as Joyce Hoffspiegel instead of as Dr. Joyce Hoffspiegel, Ph.D.
"The clinical psychologist" what?
posted by Matt Oneiros at 6:08 PM on April 18, 2007
bardic: I really hope this woman isn't a doctor IRL.
Eh, all sorts of people have a license and a PhD in clinical psych. Doesn't necessarily mean they're fantastic and/or professional and/or ethical therapists. Take the 'rebirthing' or ex-gay therapists, for example. Whether or not she's on the money, at least she makes it clear that she's speculating and guessing.
ashbury: Is it the conventional wisdom to blame the family?
Indeed. I thought the convention was to blame video-games / movies / TV.
posted by CKmtl at 6:09 PM on April 18, 2007
Eh, all sorts of people have a license and a PhD in clinical psych. Doesn't necessarily mean they're fantastic and/or professional and/or ethical therapists. Take the 'rebirthing' or ex-gay therapists, for example. Whether or not she's on the money, at least she makes it clear that she's speculating and guessing.
ashbury: Is it the conventional wisdom to blame the family?
Indeed. I thought the convention was to blame video-games / movies / TV.
posted by CKmtl at 6:09 PM on April 18, 2007
Frankly, my take on this sort of entry, while well-meaning and probably well-intended, really goes too far. Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for professionals to provide these armchair analyses from afar, because it helps raise their media profile, and helps keep the story going one more news cycle.
It's a feeding frenzy, and everyone wants their turn.
posted by docjohn at 6:10 PM on April 18, 2007
It's a feeding frenzy, and everyone wants their turn.
posted by docjohn at 6:10 PM on April 18, 2007
The media and pundits love them some tragedyporn.
posted by nightchrome at 6:14 PM on April 18, 2007
posted by nightchrome at 6:14 PM on April 18, 2007
That was pretty terrible writing and horrible, touchy-feely psycho babble.
This wasn't some lonely introvert lashing it. This was somebody with bad wiring in their head, fizzing out.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:16 PM on April 18, 2007
This wasn't some lonely introvert lashing it. This was somebody with bad wiring in their head, fizzing out.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:16 PM on April 18, 2007
What brandon blatcher said. This rampage had *nothing* to do with low self esteem.
posted by bluesky43 at 6:21 PM on April 18, 2007
posted by bluesky43 at 6:21 PM on April 18, 2007
I would just like to add that I feel compelled to comment on this issue. Thank you.
posted by DirtyCreature at 6:23 PM on April 18, 2007
posted by DirtyCreature at 6:23 PM on April 18, 2007
Also, it's never "Dr. [Name], Ph.D." It's "Dr. [Name]" or "[Name], Ph.D.", or "[Name], Ph.D., M.D."
posted by mr_roboto at 6:30 PM on April 18, 2007
posted by mr_roboto at 6:30 PM on April 18, 2007
This is right up there with Bill Frist's diagnosis of Terry Schiavo.
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:34 PM on April 18, 2007
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:34 PM on April 18, 2007
Ah. Missed bardic's contribution up there.
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:36 PM on April 18, 2007
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:36 PM on April 18, 2007
« Older Heartbreaking. | A set of useful tools for players of stringed... Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
...as my mental needle scratches off the record.
posted by everichon at 5:44 PM on April 18, 2007