There's hope for you yet, Mr. Scarecrow.

April 16, 2001 1:21 PM

There's hope for you yet, Mr. Scarecrow. Russian scientists develop artificial brain. [INSERT GEORGE W. BUSH JOKE HERE}
posted by Doug (18 comments total)

Uh, right. I'm sorry, but I really really doubt it. They leapfrogged over western AI research by using a more "modern" map of the neuron? Vitaly Valtsev, you are the weakest link (sorry, I couldn't resist)...
posted by Bootcut at 1:45 PM on April 16, 2001

I remember when I was young, there was a movie called Terminator. You may remember it too. Scientists developed a self-aware computer called SkyNet, and its minions fought to take over the world. I was afraid that it would happen, and now it looks like it's going to.

I was a pretty scared kid.
posted by jeanhank at 2:08 PM on April 16, 2001

Sheesh, no kidding. Let's see it in action before anyone takes the red pill.

On the other hand, that cold fusion thing that Time reported on years ago has been really aces.
posted by Skot at 2:14 PM on April 16, 2001

First it was the amazing head transplant, now this.....I wouldn't worry about Terminator coming true, I'd worry that Monkey Vs. Robot is coming true!
posted by briank at 2:20 PM on April 16, 2001

I think I'm filing this together with the amazing male pregnancy.
posted by Hjorth at 2:26 PM on April 16, 2001

I think you need a stress pill, Dave.
Let's not forget the original and the king of all A.I., HAL9000, psssshhhh in yo faaaaiceeee!
posted by tiaka at 2:39 PM on April 16, 2001

I don't think we need to worry unless they combine it with this.
posted by darukaru at 2:40 PM on April 16, 2001

Why is it that whenever I see a really odd/slightly unbelievable story linked from drudgereport or here (or drudgereport and then here as has been happening lots lately), it's usually from ananova.com. I've been to that site once before, but I guess they're banking on their computer animated news anchor and sensationalist reporting for hits now.
posted by almostcool at 2:45 PM on April 16, 2001

Almostcool, I have no idea what you're talking about. Ananova.com is one of the most reputable, sober, and intelligent news sources around. They're up there with the Weekly World News and Dateline NBC.
posted by Doug at 2:50 PM on April 16, 2001

I suppose that it's possible to combine all of the above ideas: a self-aware meat-eating pregnant male robot? With its friend the pet monkey without a head. And a gentle-but-menacing voice to boot.
posted by jeanhank at 2:57 PM on April 16, 2001

If they can create a babe robot who does not get headaches and makes nice meals....then better Red than dread.
posted by Postroad at 3:05 PM on April 16, 2001

call me skeptical but .....

no wait that's it. im just skeptical :P

im not too sure that their 'artificial brain' is any better than a fast processor.
posted by a11an at 3:27 PM on April 16, 2001

The scientist said: "This machine needs to be trained like a newborn child. It is extremely important for us to make it a friend, not a criminal or an enemy."

Read that to yourself in a really cheesy, "Dr. Strangelove"-type, accent. Hours of fun. Okay, not hours, but....
posted by Optamystic at 3:34 PM on April 16, 2001

If you say it over and over again you can get hours out of it...
Yeah, I thought the good doctor's worry over it becoming a Frankenstein was amusing. I just turned in a term paper on Isaac Asimov's resistance to the "Frankenstein complex" in his Robot stories.... Why didn't they just program this thing with preset morals or something? That might be a really interesting study.
Of course, I'm not sure I believe any of it to begin with. Find me another news story on it elsewhere and maybe I will.
posted by Ravagin at 4:31 PM on April 16, 2001

Hey, we should put this thing together with the Amazing Economy That Won't Come Down (tm) invented by the Americans!
posted by dhartung at 6:08 PM on April 16, 2001

Waiting for the IPO.
posted by dequinix at 12:16 AM on April 17, 2001

I'd imagine that they've developed a neural network using more biologically realistic neurons than usual, but haven't made anything with anywhere near the capacity of the human brain - the rest is just the press sensationalising it.
posted by Singular at 3:24 AM on April 17, 2001

mjamesruggiero's right from the top...I am an AI researcher (in fact < smug chuckle > I am actually reasonably high up in those search results), and we're a hell of a long way from this. And if we were close, you'd hear about it from far more citeable sources than Ananova.

Course I could also be one of the many sentient programs in my laboratory accessing the internet on its own and doing this to throw you off the scent...
posted by DiplomaticImmunity at 12:39 PM on April 17, 2001