All English...All Ze Time!

January 6, 2009 5:22 PM

What if Akon (the rapper) was from the Middle East? How about 50 Cent? Maybe Britney, The Pussycat Dolls or Shakira?
posted by Hands of Manos (27 comments total)

I still wouldn't listen. Next dumb question?
posted by cjorgensen at 5:24 PM on January 6, 2009 [4 favorites]

Uh you misspelled Ashkon, and he is from the middle east. Obv.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:31 PM on January 6, 2009

"Ashkon, and he is from the middle east"

MINE EARS!
posted by Hands of Manos at 5:37 PM on January 6, 2009

FORNURS!!

OLLOL
posted by fire&wings at 5:39 PM on January 6, 2009

Akon's bullshit story about going to prison for leading an auto theft ring would have been found out a lot quicker, since he'd still have had both hands.

But yeah, whatever this is is pretty unfunny.
posted by DecemberBoy at 5:40 PM on January 6, 2009

concentrate
and ask
again
posted by batmonkey at 5:47 PM on January 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

As opposed to Akon (the particle physicist).
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 5:48 PM on January 6, 2009 [4 favorites]

Umnn, Shakira IS from the Middle East, or at least her father is.
posted by onalark at 5:53 PM on January 6, 2009

Which is why she has a, you know, Arabic name.
posted by onalark at 5:53 PM on January 6, 2009

I don't get this. Seriously, what the hell is this? It's just supposed to be funny because they "sound funny"? I know I'd sound shitty If I was trying to sing in Farsi, Arabic, or Hindi. Fuck, I sound shitty just singing in English.
posted by piratebowling at 5:54 PM on January 6, 2009

I found it interesting that a Middle Eastern music company thought it'd be "hip and cool" by emulating American culture mixed with their on. Did I laugh? Sure the Akon one really got me. The rest were just interesting to see how they took American pop culture and merged it with their own.
posted by Hands of Manos at 5:59 PM on January 6, 2009

What if The Backstreet Boys were Chinese?
posted by geekyguy at 6:06 PM on January 6, 2009

I don't even understand what this is supposed to be.
posted by dead cousin ted at 6:07 PM on January 6, 2009

On preview, oh. Hm ok.
posted by dead cousin ted at 6:08 PM on January 6, 2009

of all the things America could be exporting....sheeesh. No offense, but this is sort of like watching the best Bluegrass band in Yokahama. There is plenty of really great Middle Eastern music out there.

This isn't it.
posted by timsteil at 6:11 PM on January 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

I think he meant Akon, who is Senegalese.

Here's one of Madonna and one that was banned. Seems the commercials have been around since 2007 and people are making their own parodies.

Personally, the commercials made me wince... mainly 'cuz few experiences have ever made me feel more horrified by my culture than watching Fergie gyrate to My Humps on a wide screen tv in the Cairo TGI Fridays. It just felt sooooo soooo incredibly wrong on so many levels.
posted by miss lynnster at 6:14 PM on January 6, 2009

Uh you misspelled Ashkon, and he is from the middle east

I hear that guy's a wizard with a yogurt sauce. Being Persian and all.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 6:39 PM on January 6, 2009

Akon (the rapper)

He's actually a singer, but hey, he's a black guy so close enough!
posted by dhammond at 6:52 PM on January 6, 2009

"He's actually a singer, but hey, he's a black guy so close enough!"

I would except no less snark from a fellow Mefite.

Not that I'm the authority on Akon however anytime I've heard his music, I've considered him to be a mix of rap and song. There are plenty of times in his music he moves to a more rap style rather than singer.

But hey I'm a white guy so what do I know?
posted by Hands of Manos at 7:16 PM on January 6, 2009

Uh you misspelled Ashkon, and he is from the middle east

I hear that guy's a wizard with a yogurt sauce. Being Persian and all.

Only if you can put yogurt on a honey baked ham.
Which you totally can.

yaddidameen?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:09 PM on January 6, 2009

I listen to middle eastern rappers when I'm hot tubbin', yaddadamean?
posted by mullacc at 8:55 PM on January 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

There is plenty of really great Middle Eastern music out there.

Surely.

Some music I've enjoyed recently includes;
DAM - Born Here - decent to my ears.
HaDag Nachash - California - grooves me.
Lil' Maaz - Kebab Ye - makes me laugh. (He actually lives in France, so I don't know if it really counts ... plus Turkey sort of has a foot in ... multiple pies.)
posted by phoque at 9:56 PM on January 6, 2009 [1 favorite]

No wonder they hate us.
posted by amuseDetachment at 10:03 PM on January 6, 2009

Today I'm going to hate their freedom.
posted by Edgewise at 11:21 PM on January 6, 2009

If they were from the Middle East they'd be getting Arab Money, right? (Busta Rhymes with the political correctness - er - actually this is the more polite version where the chorus doesn't say AY-RAB.)
posted by citron at 7:12 AM on January 7, 2009

Not that I'm the authority on Akon however anytime I've heard his music, I've considered him to be a mix of rap and song. There are plenty of times in his music he moves to a more rap style rather than singer.

Dude's not a rapper. You could ask him. His music is usually considered R&B, or soul, or maybe even hip-hop.
posted by kingbenny at 8:00 AM on January 7, 2009

I'd like Akon a lot more if he would sing in Wolof.
posted by mike3k at 10:08 PM on January 7, 2009