In that dark space between "awwww, how cute!" and "creepy".

July 4, 2009 9:11 AM

you watch, because you can't stop. MLYT

Making of. (the cute without the creepy)

and, more Evian strangeness for your viewing pleasure.
Evian has done this baby thing before, sort of..
and, of course, the "reunion" edition.

The H2O Terminator ad.

and, finally, a just strange use of "we will rock you".

posted by HuronBob (57 comments total)

Kill it with fire! Oh no! They have water!
posted by stavrogin at 9:21 AM on July 4, 2009 [2 favorites]

I could have swore evian was clear, not blue.
posted by mrstrotsky at 9:21 AM on July 4, 2009 [3 favorites]

I believe I speak for everyone here, when I say, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH"
posted by Subcommandante Cheese at 9:23 AM on July 4, 2009 [2 favorites]

I was able to stop quite early on.
posted by Bummus at 9:24 AM on July 4, 2009 [15 favorites]

Well, that settles that, no children for me.
posted by dortmunder at 9:26 AM on July 4, 2009 [4 favorites]

i'm entranced. and also fearful because i can imagine gazillions of parents buying evian by the truckload in the hopes that little muffy & biff will be able to bust the same moves.
posted by msconduct at 9:26 AM on July 4, 2009

Uncanny valley. [shudder]
posted by five fresh fish at 9:30 AM on July 4, 2009 [6 favorites]

Stopped.
posted by eriko at 9:31 AM on July 4, 2009

Interesting, at first. Then they get irrigating.
posted by hal9k at 9:34 AM on July 4, 2009 [1 favorite]

Deeply disturbing and upsetting valley.
posted by GuyZero at 9:40 AM on July 4, 2009 [1 favorite]

Uncanny canyon.
posted by fire&wings at 9:43 AM on July 4, 2009 [1 favorite]

How naivE
posted by Knigel at 9:48 AM on July 4, 2009

Wait, so Evian will give me skating skills at the cost of bowel incontinence?

I think I'll pass.
posted by felix betachat at 9:48 AM on July 4, 2009

I can't stop this feeling, deep inside of me.

Intense nausea.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 9:50 AM on July 4, 2009

Four seconds and stopped. Not hard at all.
posted by el_lupino at 9:55 AM on July 4, 2009

I hate it when people cover Rapper's Delight but they still use the names of the guys from the Sugarhill Gang when those names come up in the lyrics. Shame on you, guy who I think is probably Chali 2na.
posted by penduluum at 9:56 AM on July 4, 2009 [1 favorite]

I didn't, but I could.
posted by tommasz at 9:57 AM on July 4, 2009

babies are evil.
posted by philip-random at 9:57 AM on July 4, 2009

i'm giving my babies colt 45 so they can beat the crap out of those evian swilling brats
posted by pyramid termite at 9:59 AM on July 4, 2009 [2 favorites]

gee, I wonder who they're marketing to?
posted by kaspen at 10:06 AM on July 4, 2009

Ally McBeal is still on?
posted by benzenedream at 10:08 AM on July 4, 2009 [2 favorites]

those babies are the morlocks who live under the uncanny valley
posted by reverend cuttle at 10:08 AM on July 4, 2009

i wonder if they laugh alot
posted by philip-random at 10:11 AM on July 4, 2009 [1 favorite]

i hate when they try to anthropomorphize babies.
posted by sexyrobot at 10:12 AM on July 4, 2009 [18 favorites]

The making-of video doesn't show the part where they teach them to dance. I can only imagine the kind of roped-up-testicles, pole-up-the-ass rigs and devices that were employed to achieve such a film.
posted by fleetmouse at 10:15 AM on July 4, 2009 [1 favorite]

I think the H20 Terminator ad should in fact be the Abyss ad.

And creepy as CGI babies are, no water advert is as annoying as the Volvic 14-Day Challenge.
posted by permafrost at 10:30 AM on July 4, 2009

no water advert is as annoying as the Volvic 14-Day Challenge.

Deep volcanic hydration? I guess bottled water ads are a contemporary version of Don Draper's speech about advertising cigarettes: "We have six identical companies making six identical products. We can say anything we want."
posted by Horace Rumpole at 10:42 AM on July 4, 2009 [2 favorites]

Wow. Dancing baby technology has come a hell of a long way. I doubt highly that Ally McBeal could keep up with that squad of roller dancers.

(Am I old? After typing that, I feel old. I coulda swore it was the nineties just a little while ago)
posted by EatTheWeek at 10:46 AM on July 4, 2009

I can only imagine the kind of roped-up-testicles, pole-up-the-ass rigs and devices that were employed to achieve such a film.

As I watched the "Making Of," my main thought was that they must have used something akin to this.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:49 AM on July 4, 2009

It is crystal clear to me that those babies want to eat my face.

I don't think I will sleep again any time soon.
posted by John Smallberries at 10:54 AM on July 4, 2009 [1 favorite]

There must be something in the water.
posted by Ron Thanagar at 11:00 AM on July 4, 2009

So Evian lets naked babies swim around in their water? That explains the taste...
posted by Huck500 at 11:03 AM on July 4, 2009 [1 favorite]

Fish pee in the water too, you know.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:04 AM on July 4, 2009

Wow. Dancing baby technology has come a hell of a long way.

Oh Lord but I hated that damn dancing baby.

And now these... things. I mean, they look like babies, but their fully developed motor skills tell us that they are some kind of evil changeling creatures that probably ate the real babies they replaced in the crib.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:10 AM on July 4, 2009

Someone needs to make a mod for Prototype with this.
posted by hamida2242 at 11:12 AM on July 4, 2009

To think Michael Jackson died before he could see that. So sad.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:28 AM on July 4, 2009 [1 favorite]

As W.C. Fields once said, "Water? Fish f**k in it."
posted by DaddyNewt at 11:59 AM on July 4, 2009

Good grief, my four month old can't even crawl yet. Better scrape up the funds for a skating tutor.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 12:01 PM on July 4, 2009

Greenscreened-baby faces, CG bodies. If you look carefully, you can see some mismatches in a few places.

This is why I got out of the visual fx business years ago. I had nightmares about having to work on stuff like this.
posted by dbiedny at 1:10 PM on July 4, 2009

I came loaded for snark, left laffing.
posted by sfts2 at 1:12 PM on July 4, 2009

Why should this have ever been created? :-(
posted by rainy at 1:12 PM on July 4, 2009

Pepsi Water.
posted by humannaire at 1:16 PM on July 4, 2009

Yeah, especially in the group shots you can admire the differing shadows on all of their faces even though they're presumably in the same place.

can't sleep. rendered dancing babies will eat me.
posted by cavalier at 1:49 PM on July 4, 2009

On a cool summer afternoon just like this one, I watched that very same video, but just as I brought my cursor to close it, the flash player crashed! The video froze, and the audio track cut out. I closed out the tab. But in the very next tab the frozen flash player persisted. Irritated, I closed out that tab, only to find it again. I closed tab after tab, but in each the babies were there. I tried to close out the window, but the system froze. The audio track began playing. I loaded the Task Manager. The image floated above it, obscuring the list. I tried to move the manager out from under it, but I could not get a hold of it. The music repeated. I hit the delete key then the enter, delete, enter, delete, enter, until there was nothing left. The music repeated. There was nothing left running, except that music, and that frozen flash player. I hit the reset button, and then the video began to play. Click. It continued to play. I reached for the power supply's rockers witch. Click. It continued to play. I unplugged the machine. It continued to play. I unplugged the monitor. It continued to play. Repeating. Again. And Again. I gripped my keyboard and smashed my monitor. The display shattered. But behind the cracked glass, it continued to play. I threw the monitor out the window. The black plastic of the monitor exploded as it hit the sidewalk. The computer and speakers followed. When I went down to inspect the wreckage, there was nothing there but black sand strewn across the sidewalk and street. But the music was gone, the video was gone, the babies were nowhere to be seen. I got myself a Macbook to replace my computer, and now I only use Safari. The video never bothered me again...

until today.
posted by TwelveTwo at 1:49 PM on July 4, 2009 [2 favorites]

"until today."

You could have at least said "thank you". :-(
posted by HuronBob at 2:30 PM on July 4, 2009

Where are my manners?

Thank you, HuronBob, for an accursed video that plagues my soul and ruins lives. For dooming this computer to it's predecessor's fate, I thank you.

Oh god, the music started...
posted by TwelveTwo at 2:47 PM on July 4, 2009

That was just horrible.
posted by GavinR at 5:50 PM on July 4, 2009

I thought it was cute, well-executed, and only mildly disturbing.
posted by brain_drain at 6:51 PM on July 4, 2009

I thought it was cute, well-executed, and only mildly disturbing.
posted by brain_drain at 6:51 PM on July 4 [+] [!]

Eponymysterical.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:11 PM on July 4, 2009

at the cost of bowel incontinence?

I think I'll pass.

Yes. Yes, you will...
posted by DreamerFi at 11:09 PM on July 4, 2009

Please, won't someone think of the children?
posted by chairface at 11:26 PM on July 4, 2009

I hate babies even more now. Not cute, not creepy, just disgusting.
posted by beerbajay at 10:50 AM on July 5, 2009

I, for one, am very disappointed in that deep-voiced guy who may or may not be Chali 2na.

Everyone else involved (except for maybe the actual babies) can perish in some sort of horribly all-consuming conflagration.
posted by neckro23 at 12:44 PM on July 5, 2009

Here's a horribly all-consuming conflagration for you. 65 years ago today.
posted by headless at 1:00 AM on July 6, 2009

Nice link headless.

"The day the clowns cried" redirects here.
posted by benzenedream at 11:45 AM on July 6, 2009

So Evian is now selling live young? How much by the pound?
posted by Eideteker at 3:52 PM on July 6, 2009

4 seconds. Is that a record?
posted by joelf at 4:15 PM on July 7, 2009