What does it cost to act like a big wheel?
September 25, 2009 8:20 AM Subscribe
"Mister fucking crazy man, we have no Hustler!" he continued. "What is your room number?"
I don't know why but I love that.
posted by blucevalo at 8:27 AM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
I don't know why but I love that.
posted by blucevalo at 8:27 AM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
There's a web site dedicated to the "Twenty Dollar Trick" to get upgrades at Vegas hotels.
posted by Perplexity at 8:27 AM on September 25, 2009 [3 favorites]
posted by Perplexity at 8:27 AM on September 25, 2009 [3 favorites]
So this is six years old. I just saw for the first time myself, linked via Kottke, which included other interesting pieces. Maybe that would have been a good FPP.
posted by allen.spaulding at 8:28 AM on September 25, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by allen.spaulding at 8:28 AM on September 25, 2009 [5 favorites]
The best things in life are free, but you can give them to the birds and bees.
posted by carsonb at 8:28 AM on September 25, 2009
posted by carsonb at 8:28 AM on September 25, 2009
I liked this better than a similar article posted here a while back, I think from New York Magazine. Someone with better searching skills than me should dig it up.
posted by exogenous at 8:29 AM on September 25, 2009
posted by exogenous at 8:29 AM on September 25, 2009
The flight attendant, still a little pissed, wouldn't get me my free drink once we took off. So I slipped the guy across the aisle from me twenty dollars to get me three little bottles of single malt. I drank one to flaunt it to the stewardess and pocketed the other two for later.
Nice.
posted by jquinby at 8:30 AM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
Nice.
posted by jquinby at 8:30 AM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
I wonder how much farther he could have gotten with Klondike Bars?
posted by cimbrog at 8:31 AM on September 25, 2009 [13 favorites]
posted by cimbrog at 8:31 AM on September 25, 2009 [13 favorites]
I remember reading it in the magazine. I enjoy these little pieces in GQ and Esquire and the like but I have a Letterman-O'Reilly opinion on most of them: about 60% of what they say is crap.
posted by jimmythefish at 8:33 AM on September 25, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by jimmythefish at 8:33 AM on September 25, 2009 [2 favorites]
I slipped cortex a $20 to let this shit comment remain. Let's see how that goes.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:35 AM on September 25, 2009 [6 favorites]
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:35 AM on September 25, 2009 [6 favorites]
My favorite part was when "the woman ran back to 9B like her pants were on fire."
Cracked me right up.
posted by iamkimiam at 8:39 AM on September 25, 2009
Cracked me right up.
posted by iamkimiam at 8:39 AM on September 25, 2009
I wonder if that airline-seat-changing thing could still work. I bet that it doesn't These Days.
posted by jquinby at 8:43 AM on September 25, 2009
posted by jquinby at 8:43 AM on September 25, 2009
Sixty percent? I think this is a good (if out-of-context) place to evoke Sturgeon's Law (or Revelation, or whatever you call it). Still, as with many purportedly true yet improbable things, at least it makes for a fun read.
posted by Alterscape at 8:43 AM on September 25, 2009
posted by Alterscape at 8:43 AM on September 25, 2009
Saw this on Kottke yesterday, too. Definitely amusing, but I don't think I'd have the balls to try it.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 8:45 AM on September 25, 2009
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 8:45 AM on September 25, 2009
He gave a woman $20 for "her spot" in line, but it doesn't clearly say that she moved to the back as opposed to just letting him take cuts. The anger of the others in line entirely justified if the latter, not so much if the former, though some resentment would still be understandable.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:47 AM on September 25, 2009
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:47 AM on September 25, 2009
I've done this when I was younger, and it does work.
A friend of mine says this works especially well when at a bar. Six people chip in $20 and pretip the barkeep/waiter and strong drinks keep on coming.
I have since stopped this as I have come to believe that this is a precursor for corruption becoming ingrained into the fabric of society.
IMNASociologist.
More people see palms being greased and its relative effectiveness compared to the cost and they in turn start doing it
...the price goes up, the effectiveness goes down
...those being greased come to see this as expected and not a bonus
...their employers can stop paying as much, since they see the $$$ certain employees can make, and on and on.
posted by MrMulan at 8:48 AM on September 25, 2009 [10 favorites]
A friend of mine says this works especially well when at a bar. Six people chip in $20 and pretip the barkeep/waiter and strong drinks keep on coming.
I have since stopped this as I have come to believe that this is a precursor for corruption becoming ingrained into the fabric of society.
IMNASociologist.
More people see palms being greased and its relative effectiveness compared to the cost and they in turn start doing it
...the price goes up, the effectiveness goes down
...those being greased come to see this as expected and not a bonus
...their employers can stop paying as much, since they see the $$$ certain employees can make, and on and on.
posted by MrMulan at 8:48 AM on September 25, 2009 [10 favorites]
I kinda thought the author was a prick. When I used to be a bouncer these guys got no special treatment from me whatsoever, the people who were cool to me, who understood that were rules to be followed and generally treated me as something other than a piece of furniture always went to the front of the line. The guys who thought that there ability to flash cash meant they were somehow exempt always waited.
posted by Bango Skank at 8:49 AM on September 25, 2009 [10 favorites]
posted by Bango Skank at 8:49 AM on September 25, 2009 [10 favorites]
$20 here, $20 there, and pretty soon you're talking about real money!
posted by blue_beetle at 8:49 AM on September 25, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by blue_beetle at 8:49 AM on September 25, 2009 [2 favorites]
I read this in Esquire back then. My grandpa was a guy with a wad of bills, and he made an art of greasing people. I always thought he was the smoothest guy who ever lived.
I remember when, on a mass business trip, how impressed my boss was when, after giving our name for a party of 12 at the podium and being informed of the potential wait time of 90 minutes for a table, that how $10 made that into a ten minute wait. I've slipped tens and twenties to seaters at crowded restaurants on Castro during the Pride Parade, at the Mall of America (where it should have been completely unnecessary.)
Want the upgraded room in a hotel? Ask first, then grease. The phrase is, "See what you can do."
I had a guy at the car dealership run my car through emissions while in his care. Worth $20? Hell yes!
Think about stuff that would make your life easier, most of the time, it's worth the $20. Like Valet Parking, it either is or isn't worth it. The beautiful thing is, you're the one who gets to decide.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 8:50 AM on September 25, 2009 [6 favorites]
I remember when, on a mass business trip, how impressed my boss was when, after giving our name for a party of 12 at the podium and being informed of the potential wait time of 90 minutes for a table, that how $10 made that into a ten minute wait. I've slipped tens and twenties to seaters at crowded restaurants on Castro during the Pride Parade, at the Mall of America (where it should have been completely unnecessary.)
Want the upgraded room in a hotel? Ask first, then grease. The phrase is, "See what you can do."
I had a guy at the car dealership run my car through emissions while in his care. Worth $20? Hell yes!
Think about stuff that would make your life easier, most of the time, it's worth the $20. Like Valet Parking, it either is or isn't worth it. The beautiful thing is, you're the one who gets to decide.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 8:50 AM on September 25, 2009 [6 favorites]
I can't remember the last time I even handled a £20 note.
posted by mippy at 8:50 AM on September 25, 2009
posted by mippy at 8:50 AM on September 25, 2009
So this is six years old.
It would probably cost a lot less than $20 to see Busta Rhymes these days.
And a lot more to see Les Paul.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:52 AM on September 25, 2009 [4 favorites]
It would probably cost a lot less than $20 to see Busta Rhymes these days.
And a lot more to see Les Paul.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:52 AM on September 25, 2009 [4 favorites]
I wonder how this would work for me, a young, early thirties, petite, Jewish woman. I bet I would get dismissed about 1/2 the time, "Oh, how cute, I don't need your money, hon." And then they'd either rudely stick me at the back of the line or usher me in for free.
posted by iamkimiam at 8:54 AM on September 25, 2009
posted by iamkimiam at 8:54 AM on September 25, 2009
Not to get all Greenpeace on you...
Here's a $20.00. Can you put some seal meat on my veggie burrito?
posted by bondcliff at 9:00 AM on September 25, 2009 [14 favorites]
Here's a $20.00. Can you put some seal meat on my veggie burrito?
posted by bondcliff at 9:00 AM on September 25, 2009 [14 favorites]
I had a guy at the car dealership run my car through emissions while in his care. Worth $20? Hell yes!
Not to get all Greenpeace on you, but fix your smoggy pile of junk instead of bribing the inspection tech.
Dude! Nothing of the kind. I took the car in for a regular check and had the guy drive it to emissions for me. Instead of me making the trip myself. The emissions place wasn't IN the dealership, it was a separate building a couple of blocks down the street.
Bunny loves a clean environment, Bunny don't roll that way.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:02 AM on September 25, 2009 [20 favorites]
Not to get all Greenpeace on you, but fix your smoggy pile of junk instead of bribing the inspection tech.
Dude! Nothing of the kind. I took the car in for a regular check and had the guy drive it to emissions for me. Instead of me making the trip myself. The emissions place wasn't IN the dealership, it was a separate building a couple of blocks down the street.
Bunny loves a clean environment, Bunny don't roll that way.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 9:02 AM on September 25, 2009 [20 favorites]
I wonder how this would work for me, a young, early thirties, petite, Jewish woman. I bet I would get dismissed about 1/2 the time, "Oh, how cute, I don't need your money, hon." And then they'd either rudely stick me at the back of the line or usher me in for free.
I was obligated to do quite a bit of greasing at my old job, and as a young, petite, frecklenosed redhead, I discovered that it was most effective if I was wearing really fierce shoes.
posted by padraigin at 9:03 AM on September 25, 2009 [3 favorites]
I was obligated to do quite a bit of greasing at my old job, and as a young, petite, frecklenosed redhead, I discovered that it was most effective if I was wearing really fierce shoes.
posted by padraigin at 9:03 AM on September 25, 2009 [3 favorites]
These days I'd just like to have $2,000. I don't care what denominations.
posted by Splunge at 9:08 AM on September 25, 2009
posted by Splunge at 9:08 AM on September 25, 2009
You could open one of those stores called EVERYTHING FOR $20, and who the fuck would go in there? Who needs a bunch of art calendars and T-shirts? No one wants to spend a twenty.
Once I got past this idiocy, it was an interesting article. Sort of gonzo-light journalism, but at least what the author learned is accessible to the rest of us.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:11 AM on September 25, 2009
Once I got past this idiocy, it was an interesting article. Sort of gonzo-light journalism, but at least what the author learned is accessible to the rest of us.
posted by BrotherCaine at 9:11 AM on September 25, 2009
I think this guy was paying way above market price for a lot of this stuff. Maybe the airline seat trick and getting some guy to deliver you Hustler in the middle of the night require a $20, but you can go a long way with a stack of $5s, particularly in NYC. (For whatever reason, I've never seen the culture of mostly-harmless petit bribery as much in evidence in other cities as it is in NYC. Chicago is close. I've heard Miami is as well, but can't say from personal experience. In DC it doesn't seem to be quite as much de rigueur, but maybe I'm just going to the wrong places.)
My suspicion is that the guy in TFA ended up having to pay more than he would have by virtue of acting like a douchebag. If you make the money do all the work, sure, you're going to have to spend a lot of it. If you are reasonably generous with tips but also--and perhaps more importantly--act like a decent person and treat the service people around you like human beings and not untermenschen or coin-operated robots, you can get most of the same stuff without tossing money around like a Saudi prince on holiday.
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:13 AM on September 25, 2009 [6 favorites]
My suspicion is that the guy in TFA ended up having to pay more than he would have by virtue of acting like a douchebag. If you make the money do all the work, sure, you're going to have to spend a lot of it. If you are reasonably generous with tips but also--and perhaps more importantly--act like a decent person and treat the service people around you like human beings and not untermenschen or coin-operated robots, you can get most of the same stuff without tossing money around like a Saudi prince on holiday.
posted by Kadin2048 at 9:13 AM on September 25, 2009 [6 favorites]
As we pulled away, someone in the line threw a half-empty cup of coffee against my window.
Here's a twenty. Can you make that half-full for me? See what you can do.
posted by nosila at 9:19 AM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
Here's a twenty. Can you make that half-full for me? See what you can do.
posted by nosila at 9:19 AM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
I'll give $20 to anyone who tracks down the author of this essay and punches him in the nose.
posted by dersins at 9:21 AM on September 25, 2009 [6 favorites]
posted by dersins at 9:21 AM on September 25, 2009 [6 favorites]
Amateur.
On Metafilter, $20 can get you 4 favorites on every comment you ever make.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 9:23 AM on September 25, 2009 [24 favorites]
On Metafilter, $20 can get you 4 favorites on every comment you ever make.
posted by mr_crash_davis mark II: Jazz Odyssey at 9:23 AM on September 25, 2009 [24 favorites]
The writing style got on my nerves, but it was more amusing than some of its type. I award your prank $20.
posted by mippy at 9:24 AM on September 25, 2009
posted by mippy at 9:24 AM on September 25, 2009
If you make the money do all the work, sure, you're going to have to spend a lot of it. If you are reasonably generous with tips but also--and perhaps more importantly--act like a decent person and treat the service people around you like human beings and not untermenschen or coin-operated robots, you can get most of the same stuff without tossing money around like a Saudi prince on holiday.
QFT. But then it isn't really a test of the money, is it? This is what $20 can (supposedly) buy you, not $20 + charm & effort, which is bound to be affected not a little bit by how good looking you are, as well.
That being said, who would leave first class for $20?
Enjoyed the article immensely, thanks.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:30 AM on September 25, 2009
QFT. But then it isn't really a test of the money, is it? This is what $20 can (supposedly) buy you, not $20 + charm & effort, which is bound to be affected not a little bit by how good looking you are, as well.
That being said, who would leave first class for $20?
Enjoyed the article immensely, thanks.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:30 AM on September 25, 2009
If you are reasonably generous with tips but also--and perhaps more importantly--act like a decent person and treat the service people around you like human beings and not untermenschen or coin-operated robots, you can get most of the same stuff without tossing money around like a Saudi prince on holiday.
I think Kadin's point is really good; I was at the DMV today to get my car inspected and the man who looked it over was so polite and courteous that when the inspection was over I asked for his name so that I could write a thank-you note mentioning him to the DMV (which I've now done). He looked really happy and I think that if I'd tried to do something like tip him then he would have been kind of insulted (I might have gotten in trouble in some way, obviously, since it would have looked like a bribe even though I'd already passed, but this is theoretical). If you make being helpful less pleasant, of course the price is going to go up and you'll need to give people money for it. In many ways, I feel like tipping for services not yet rendered cheapens the interaction and negates any kindness the person might have done anyway because it comes from feeling like you're owed and not from genuine human communication.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 9:30 AM on September 25, 2009 [2 favorites]
I think Kadin's point is really good; I was at the DMV today to get my car inspected and the man who looked it over was so polite and courteous that when the inspection was over I asked for his name so that I could write a thank-you note mentioning him to the DMV (which I've now done). He looked really happy and I think that if I'd tried to do something like tip him then he would have been kind of insulted (I might have gotten in trouble in some way, obviously, since it would have looked like a bribe even though I'd already passed, but this is theoretical). If you make being helpful less pleasant, of course the price is going to go up and you'll need to give people money for it. In many ways, I feel like tipping for services not yet rendered cheapens the interaction and negates any kindness the person might have done anyway because it comes from feeling like you're owed and not from genuine human communication.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 9:30 AM on September 25, 2009 [2 favorites]
Tipping's only just becoming part of the culture in the UK. Illustrative: a novelties catalogue I was reading recently featured a £1m note with the description 'great for tipping!' Oh, how wacky that waitress will think you are.
posted by mippy at 9:32 AM on September 25, 2009
posted by mippy at 9:32 AM on September 25, 2009
I feel compelled to be "that guy" who says Jackson shouldn't be on the $20 because of the Trail of Tears.
Also, I have to say, I would like to see a $20 store. It'd be a nice counterpoint to the 99 cent stores and Five Below stores that are showing up all over. Instead of getting low quality, likely counterfeit goods that are meant to be purchased on impulse with low expectations, we'd see well-made versions of normally inexpensive items, like board games. We'd also occasionally see things that normally retail for a bit more (TV seasons, cookware) on sale, but usually just because they're overstocked. It'd come with a good return policy and friendly employees. It's the antithesis to Walmart, competing on quality rather than price.
Every time I go into a 99 cent store, I can never find anything I really want. Most of the stuff has some flaw that means it's 99c for a good reason. For example, I've seen 99 cent seasoning shakers, which are borderline useful, but they have a weird plastic body and the packaging seems to specifically avoid mentioning food, implying that the plastic probably isn't food safe.
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:33 AM on September 25, 2009 [3 favorites]
Also, I have to say, I would like to see a $20 store. It'd be a nice counterpoint to the 99 cent stores and Five Below stores that are showing up all over. Instead of getting low quality, likely counterfeit goods that are meant to be purchased on impulse with low expectations, we'd see well-made versions of normally inexpensive items, like board games. We'd also occasionally see things that normally retail for a bit more (TV seasons, cookware) on sale, but usually just because they're overstocked. It'd come with a good return policy and friendly employees. It's the antithesis to Walmart, competing on quality rather than price.
Every time I go into a 99 cent store, I can never find anything I really want. Most of the stuff has some flaw that means it's 99c for a good reason. For example, I've seen 99 cent seasoning shakers, which are borderline useful, but they have a weird plastic body and the packaging seems to specifically avoid mentioning food, implying that the plastic probably isn't food safe.
posted by mccarty.tim at 9:33 AM on September 25, 2009 [3 favorites]
Airplane seat and hotel room upgrades are easily enough had just for being nice about it without having to grease anyone's palm. My wife scored us room upgrades at two different hotels on our summer vacation with nothing more than a polite request.
Also, does anyone else remember a similar article a while back about how to bribe maitre'ds and other restaurant host into getting a table at a popular restaurant? I can't seem to find the link, but remember the story.
posted by briank at 9:34 AM on September 25, 2009
Also, does anyone else remember a similar article a while back about how to bribe maitre'ds and other restaurant host into getting a table at a popular restaurant? I can't seem to find the link, but remember the story.
posted by briank at 9:34 AM on September 25, 2009
Gosh, my filter at work is blocking Esquire.
While at the same time I can call up any variety of purient and unspeakable sites and images to this screen, the precocious teenage boys who must be in charge of what gets through, have apparently seen some skin in their dads' copies of Esquire and decided that it would be damaging to the good of the order to allow it to be seen.
posted by Danf at 9:35 AM on September 25, 2009
While at the same time I can call up any variety of purient and unspeakable sites and images to this screen, the precocious teenage boys who must be in charge of what gets through, have apparently seen some skin in their dads' copies of Esquire and decided that it would be damaging to the good of the order to allow it to be seen.
posted by Danf at 9:35 AM on September 25, 2009
If you make the money do all the work, sure, you're going to have to spend a lot of it. If you are reasonably generous with tips but also--and perhaps more importantly--act like a decent person and treat the service people around you like human beings and not untermenschen or coin-operated robots, you can get most of the same stuff without tossing money around like a Saudi prince on holiday.
QFT. But then it isn't really a test of the money, is it? This is what $20 can (supposedly) buy you, not $20 + charm & effort, which is bound to be affected not a little bit by how easy you are on the eyes, as well. Though he does experiment a bit with the presentation, I think it would violate the premise if he attempted straight-up persuasion and then threw the twenty in.
That being said, who would leave first class for $20?
Enjoyed the article immensely, thanks.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:36 AM on September 25, 2009
QFT. But then it isn't really a test of the money, is it? This is what $20 can (supposedly) buy you, not $20 + charm & effort, which is bound to be affected not a little bit by how easy you are on the eyes, as well. Though he does experiment a bit with the presentation, I think it would violate the premise if he attempted straight-up persuasion and then threw the twenty in.
That being said, who would leave first class for $20?
Enjoyed the article immensely, thanks.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:36 AM on September 25, 2009
Aw, c'mon. I refreshed the page to see before attempting to post after the browser hang.
Mods, can you remove that first, flagged post? There's a $20 in it for you.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:40 AM on September 25, 2009
Mods, can you remove that first, flagged post? There's a $20 in it for you.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 9:40 AM on September 25, 2009
While at the same time I can call up any variety of purient and unspeakable sites and images to this screen, the precocious teenage boys who must be in charge of what gets through, have apparently seen some skin in their dads' copies of Esquire and decided that it would be damaging to the good of the order to allow it to be seen.
Maybe it's judging the quality of the writing?
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 9:45 AM on September 25, 2009
Maybe it's judging the quality of the writing?
posted by RikiTikiTavi at 9:45 AM on September 25, 2009
I think on my birthday I'll just rain 20 dollar bills down from my fire escape and hope to catch from free floating karma. Or cause a riot. Whatever.
posted by The Whelk at 10:02 AM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by The Whelk at 10:02 AM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
some free floating, sigh. 30 SECOND EDIT WINDOW ANYDAY NOW?
posted by The Whelk at 10:02 AM on September 25, 2009
posted by The Whelk at 10:02 AM on September 25, 2009
I liked the article linked to by Afroblanco better.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:04 AM on September 25, 2009
posted by JohnnyGunn at 10:04 AM on September 25, 2009
"I feel compelled to be "that guy" who says Jackson shouldn't be on the $20 because of the Trail of Tears."
I've been pissed off about that for years.
posted by tdismukes at 10:05 AM on September 25, 2009
I've been pissed off about that for years.
posted by tdismukes at 10:05 AM on September 25, 2009
"Tipping's only just becoming part of the culture in the UK"
And I'm hoping it doesn't creep in any further, it's all rather awkward and degrading for everyone involved. I prefer to just, y'know, pay what items/services really cost and minimise the whole master/servant thing.
posted by malevolent at 10:07 AM on September 25, 2009 [3 favorites]
And I'm hoping it doesn't creep in any further, it's all rather awkward and degrading for everyone involved. I prefer to just, y'know, pay what items/services really cost and minimise the whole master/servant thing.
posted by malevolent at 10:07 AM on September 25, 2009 [3 favorites]
> I kinda thought the author was a prick.
Well, duh, but he's a funny, effective writer. I came here to quote the same bit jquinby did.
Note to burhan: I think you only get one freebie morality sneer per FPP. If you keep coming back for seconds, it starts eroding your karma.
posted by languagehat at 10:11 AM on September 25, 2009
Well, duh, but he's a funny, effective writer. I came here to quote the same bit jquinby did.
Note to burhan: I think you only get one freebie morality sneer per FPP. If you keep coming back for seconds, it starts eroding your karma.
posted by languagehat at 10:11 AM on September 25, 2009
Also, I agree about Jackson and the Trail of Tears. That genocidal fucker should not be remembered as fondly as he is. You know who else was a successful populist?
posted by languagehat at 10:13 AM on September 25, 2009 [4 favorites]
posted by languagehat at 10:13 AM on September 25, 2009 [4 favorites]
One factor left unmentioned in this article is the quality of the twenty dollar bill as part of the delivery. Trying to get a room upgrade with a nice, crisp $20 and a "See what you can do" gets you a lot farther, in my hard-learned experience, then a balled up, sweaty $20 and a tearfully blurted "I NEED YOUR BIGGEST BED RIGHT NOW."
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:14 AM on September 25, 2009 [5 favorites]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:14 AM on September 25, 2009 [5 favorites]
I would be really curious for more input from women who have tried this.
posted by vilthuril at 10:29 AM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by vilthuril at 10:29 AM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
Gosh, my filter at work is blocking Esquire.
A discreetly passed $20 might fix that for you. See what you can do.
posted by Daddy-O at 10:35 AM on September 25, 2009
A discreetly passed $20 might fix that for you. See what you can do.
posted by Daddy-O at 10:35 AM on September 25, 2009
The supposed benefits that the writer obtained by tossing around $20s hardly seem worth the trashed karma.
I stopped believing in karma the first time I saw those kids on television with the bloated stomachs and the flies on their fucking heads.
posted by flarbuse at 10:39 AM on September 25, 2009 [2 favorites]
I stopped believing in karma the first time I saw those kids on television with the bloated stomachs and the flies on their fucking heads.
posted by flarbuse at 10:39 AM on September 25, 2009 [2 favorites]
Bango Skank : When I used to be a bouncer these guys got no special treatment from me whatsoever
Obviously depends on your specific position (door-keeper, or just roaming-heavy?), but why turn down an hour's pay just to make someone wait in line (especially if you already have a "VIP admission" line and can do it inconspicuously)? You lose, and he loses. Take the $20, and you both win. Seems like a no-brainer, IMO.
Yeah, you can say you feel better about yourself as a result, but seriously, that and $5 will get you a post on Metafilter. Not to say (speaking as one of the schmucks who does follow the rules and waits patiently in line) that I don't sincerely thank you for your sacrifice, but really, a handful of guys a night doubles your salary and makes the line a whole three minutes longer, total.
posted by pla at 10:59 AM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
Obviously depends on your specific position (door-keeper, or just roaming-heavy?), but why turn down an hour's pay just to make someone wait in line (especially if you already have a "VIP admission" line and can do it inconspicuously)? You lose, and he loses. Take the $20, and you both win. Seems like a no-brainer, IMO.
Yeah, you can say you feel better about yourself as a result, but seriously, that and $5 will get you a post on Metafilter. Not to say (speaking as one of the schmucks who does follow the rules and waits patiently in line) that I don't sincerely thank you for your sacrifice, but really, a handful of guys a night doubles your salary and makes the line a whole three minutes longer, total.
posted by pla at 10:59 AM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
And I'm hoping it doesn't creep in any further, it's all rather awkward and degrading for everyone involved. I prefer to just, y'know, pay what items/services really cost and minimise the whole master/servant thing.
Personally I like being able to tip, because it's money that the business can't take a cut out of. No offense to people who own restaurants and bars, but I'd rather see my money going to the waitstaff than the owners. I don't think it's a coincidence that waiting tables is one of the more livable service jobs, and my guess is that it would pay a lot less money if business owners were in charge of deciding how much to pay them.
posted by burnmp3s at 11:03 AM on September 25, 2009
Personally I like being able to tip, because it's money that the business can't take a cut out of. No offense to people who own restaurants and bars, but I'd rather see my money going to the waitstaff than the owners. I don't think it's a coincidence that waiting tables is one of the more livable service jobs, and my guess is that it would pay a lot less money if business owners were in charge of deciding how much to pay them.
posted by burnmp3s at 11:03 AM on September 25, 2009
I had no idea we were supposed to be bitter at Andrew Jackson about the Trail of Tears. When did this become a thing? Can I still like Battle of New Orleans?? I never should have let my Howard Zinn newsletter subscription lapse.
he took a little bacon and he took a little beans! BACON!!!!!
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 11:10 AM on September 25, 2009 [3 favorites]
he took a little bacon and he took a little beans! BACON!!!!!
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 11:10 AM on September 25, 2009 [3 favorites]
This would never work for me as most of these $20.00 perks aren't worth more than a fiver to me. However a crisp $2.00 bill to the barrista will ensure continuous coffee while plugging away at their free wifi.
posted by Gungho at 11:11 AM on September 25, 2009
posted by Gungho at 11:11 AM on September 25, 2009
Business owners are in charge of deciding how much to pay them. And service workers are in charge of reminding everyone that they chose a job that doesn't pay very well.
posted by emelenjr at 11:11 AM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by emelenjr at 11:11 AM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
I had no idea we were supposed to be bitter at Hit... oh, never mind.
But take care to not violate your own maxim in the next comment.
But I don't believe in karma!
posted by languagehat at 11:12 AM on September 25, 2009
But take care to not violate your own maxim in the next comment.
But I don't believe in karma!
posted by languagehat at 11:12 AM on September 25, 2009
Business owners are in charge of deciding how much to pay them.
I meant in the sense that if tipping didn't exist, businesses could decide to pay them less than [minimum wage for wait staff] + [average tip percentage] * [average bill amount]. And with tipping I can decide to pay higher than the average tip whenever I want, whereas with most other service jobs I can't increase someone's take home pay even if they did a great job.
posted by burnmp3s at 11:31 AM on September 25, 2009
I meant in the sense that if tipping didn't exist, businesses could decide to pay them less than [minimum wage for wait staff] + [average tip percentage] * [average bill amount]. And with tipping I can decide to pay higher than the average tip whenever I want, whereas with most other service jobs I can't increase someone's take home pay even if they did a great job.
posted by burnmp3s at 11:31 AM on September 25, 2009
There's a web site dedicated to the "Twenty Dollar Trick" to get upgrades at Vegas hotels.
I was hoping that this would be a completely different type of 'twenty dollar trick'.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:36 AM on September 25, 2009
I was hoping that this would be a completely different type of 'twenty dollar trick'.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:36 AM on September 25, 2009
Anyone grousing at the assholish nature of flashing the twenty, should note he made up for it by giving advice on how to write thank-you notes. My grandmother would approve.
Still, IMHO his best article was the one he let Halle Berry write.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 11:47 AM on September 25, 2009 [4 favorites]
Still, IMHO his best article was the one he let Halle Berry write.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 11:47 AM on September 25, 2009 [4 favorites]
There's a web site dedicated to the "Twenty Dollar Trick" to get upgrades at Vegas hotels.
I was hoping that this would be a completely different type of 'twenty dollar trick'.
Well yeah, it costs $20 to get the in-call hooker to upgrade from half and half to around the world... but only on Tuesdays.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:55 AM on September 25, 2009
I was hoping that this would be a completely different type of 'twenty dollar trick'.
Well yeah, it costs $20 to get the in-call hooker to upgrade from half and half to around the world... but only on Tuesdays.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:55 AM on September 25, 2009
I slipped an extra twenty to the cashier at McDonalds and they gave me free refills on ALL my drinks! When I tipped the checkout guy at Target a twenty, he told me about a special deal that would save me 10% of the purchase if I signed up for their charge card.
These are deals THEY don't want you to know about.
posted by drezdn at 11:59 AM on September 25, 2009 [2 favorites]
These are deals THEY don't want you to know about.
posted by drezdn at 11:59 AM on September 25, 2009 [2 favorites]
1f2frfbf: "...Still, IMHO his best article was the one he let Halle Berry write."
THank you for that link. That is a good article.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 12:17 PM on September 25, 2009
THank you for that link. That is a good article.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 12:17 PM on September 25, 2009
"I wonder how this would work for me, a young, early thirties, petite, Jewish woman. I bet I would get dismissed about 1/2 the time, "Oh, how cute, I don't need your money, hon." And then they'd either rudely stick me at the back of the line or usher me in for free."
I am 4'11" female and 98 pounds soaking wet. I've greased palms on occasion to get a table in an otherwise "full" restaurant and it's worked like a charm. Money is money. The key is politeness and quiet confidence.
posted by crayon at 12:28 PM on September 25, 2009
I am 4'11" female and 98 pounds soaking wet. I've greased palms on occasion to get a table in an otherwise "full" restaurant and it's worked like a charm. Money is money. The key is politeness and quiet confidence.
posted by crayon at 12:28 PM on September 25, 2009
the people who were cool to me, who understood that were rules to be followed and generally treated me as something other than a piece of furniture always went to the front of the line.
How does that work? If they understood there were rules to be followed then they waited in line.
posted by bpm140 at 12:46 PM on September 25, 2009
How does that work? If they understood there were rules to be followed then they waited in line.
posted by bpm140 at 12:46 PM on September 25, 2009
Check out this bust of Andrew Jackson though. He's like Lincoln with cool hair.
posted by smackfu at 12:47 PM on September 25, 2009
posted by smackfu at 12:47 PM on September 25, 2009
When I was younger, prettier and thinner (in the late 1980s, early 90s) I worked for several companies where I was in charge of their tradeshow booths. I travelled around the country to major metropolitan areas setting up booths and then (wo)manning them during the show. Here is what I learned about tipping: NYC--a big wad of $20s was part of my "kit" for the show. If I wanted to have my booth set up and wired before 3 am, I had to grease the palms of various Teamsters, electricians, etc. We were not allowed to handle a box, plug in a cord or hammer a single nail. No amount of flirting or sex appeal helped. Just cold, hard, cash. This held true for most East Coast venues and Chicago.
LA, Dallas and Atlanta--the guys (it was all guys) got offended if offered cash but responded well to over-the-top flirting. San Franciso Exhibition Center, the guys were all out back getting stoned and didn't care if we carried an elephant past them by ourselves (or, in my case, a large, green fiberglass carousel tiger). Moscone Center in SF worked with a combo of tipping and flirting.
That was my only experience of using cash to get special consideration. Mostly I find if I am reasonable and ask nicely, I can get an upgrade/etc. about 50% of the time--even as a middle-aged grey-headed, fat chick.
posted by agatha_magatha at 1:04 PM on September 25, 2009 [4 favorites]
LA, Dallas and Atlanta--the guys (it was all guys) got offended if offered cash but responded well to over-the-top flirting. San Franciso Exhibition Center, the guys were all out back getting stoned and didn't care if we carried an elephant past them by ourselves (or, in my case, a large, green fiberglass carousel tiger). Moscone Center in SF worked with a combo of tipping and flirting.
That was my only experience of using cash to get special consideration. Mostly I find if I am reasonable and ask nicely, I can get an upgrade/etc. about 50% of the time--even as a middle-aged grey-headed, fat chick.
posted by agatha_magatha at 1:04 PM on September 25, 2009 [4 favorites]
Here's a trick for getting to the front at a general admission concert and it doesn't even cost a twenty. Hold a small pocket flashlight or LED keychain right in front of your forehead and just say "excuse me" in a business-like voice. People melt away in front of you.
posted by DaddyNewt at 1:25 PM on September 25, 2009 [2 favorites]
posted by DaddyNewt at 1:25 PM on September 25, 2009 [2 favorites]
Cause ..their circuits get overloaded and they go into a temporary failure mode? You go to a lot of Robot Concerts DaddyNewt?
posted by The Whelk at 1:28 PM on September 25, 2009
posted by The Whelk at 1:28 PM on September 25, 2009
No. They think you're part of security.
posted by DaddyNewt at 1:37 PM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by DaddyNewt at 1:37 PM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
So recently my wife and I were in a line picking up medication before bringing her to urgent care. We grabbed a few things we needed on the way out (okay, toilet paper) and got into the only checkout line. The one woman ahead of us, a senior citizen, was holding up the line for several minutes, because she had a coupon and the cashier said it didn't match the product, but she wanted to see the product that did match (so they had to go find it) before she'd believe them.
We found out that was the scenario by politely asking, then asked how much the coupon was for; when she told us, I pulled that amount out of my wallet, stated that we needed to get my wife to urgent care, and asked if she'd let us pay her that amount instead of using the coupon so that we could check out. Her immediate response: "no, that's okay, I'm fine."
As I put the money away, she made a snippy comment about how impatient we were and that she felt sorry for our children; as my wife's face changed to a look of frustration and anger, I pulled her away gently and another cashier (who had been listening) ran over, opened up, and checked us out. As we left the parking lot, we could see that the woman was still standing there, waiting for her coupon thing. I can only assume she either feels powerless generally and so enjoyed the opportunity to feel powerful, or she's lonely and enjoys having people to be around.
I wonder if I'd pulled out a $20 instead, if it would have been enough to overcome whatever was motivating her.
posted by davejay at 1:52 PM on September 25, 2009 [4 favorites]
We found out that was the scenario by politely asking, then asked how much the coupon was for; when she told us, I pulled that amount out of my wallet, stated that we needed to get my wife to urgent care, and asked if she'd let us pay her that amount instead of using the coupon so that we could check out. Her immediate response: "no, that's okay, I'm fine."
As I put the money away, she made a snippy comment about how impatient we were and that she felt sorry for our children; as my wife's face changed to a look of frustration and anger, I pulled her away gently and another cashier (who had been listening) ran over, opened up, and checked us out. As we left the parking lot, we could see that the woman was still standing there, waiting for her coupon thing. I can only assume she either feels powerless generally and so enjoyed the opportunity to feel powerful, or she's lonely and enjoys having people to be around.
I wonder if I'd pulled out a $20 instead, if it would have been enough to overcome whatever was motivating her.
posted by davejay at 1:52 PM on September 25, 2009 [4 favorites]
It's amazing how things have changed in the six years since the article was written. Back then, this article probably seemed like "handy tips for the man about town". But now, with the economy in the toilet, the whole idea of tossing around $20 bills just to get slightly better seat seems out of place. I doubt that Esquire would publish a piece like this now.
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:58 PM on September 25, 2009
posted by twoleftfeet at 1:58 PM on September 25, 2009
Cool story bro.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 8:25 AM on September 25
'Sup /b/lue?
posted by codswallop at 2:12 PM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
Afroblanco, thanks for the Bruce Feiler article - that was fascinating. There's another article by him about working at a fancy New York restaurant that provides some unexpected perspective on the other side of the equation.
posted by sneebler at 2:56 PM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by sneebler at 2:56 PM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
Davejay, I generally disapprove of the idea of beating the crap out of little old ladies.
posted by BrotherCaine at 4:05 PM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by BrotherCaine at 4:05 PM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
Check out this bust of Andrew Jackson though. He's like Lincoln with cool hair.
Whatever. Lincoln had totally bitchin' hair.
posted by dersins at 4:11 PM on September 25, 2009 [2 favorites]
Whatever. Lincoln had totally bitchin' hair.
posted by dersins at 4:11 PM on September 25, 2009 [2 favorites]
Not to get all Greenpeace on you, but fix your smoggy pile of junk instead of bribing the inspection tech.
My dad was famous for being able to get his smoking piles of rust through inspection; I believe that bottles of Jim Beam were the accepted form of currency in North Jersey in the seventies rather than 20 dollar bills. He once managed to get an NJ inspection sticker for a car that was in North Carolina at the time although he never revealed how he pulled that one off, it probably cost him more than $20.
posted by octothorpe at 4:48 PM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
My dad was famous for being able to get his smoking piles of rust through inspection; I believe that bottles of Jim Beam were the accepted form of currency in North Jersey in the seventies rather than 20 dollar bills. He once managed to get an NJ inspection sticker for a car that was in North Carolina at the time although he never revealed how he pulled that one off, it probably cost him more than $20.
posted by octothorpe at 4:48 PM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
I read this article thinking, "I cannot wait to see who is going to be pissed off about this, what their reasoning will be, but most of all I want that delicious feeling when I'm reminded I'm not someone who has a severely overclocked douche-o-meter.
posted by Gamien Boffenburg at 5:59 PM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Gamien Boffenburg at 5:59 PM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
"Tipping's only just becoming part of the culture in the UK"
And I'm hoping it doesn't creep in any further, it's all rather awkward and degrading for everyone involved. I prefer to just, y'know, pay what items/services really cost and minimise the whole master/servant thing.
---
Personally I like being able to tip, because it's money that the business can't take a cut out of. No offense to people who own restaurants and bars, but I'd rather see my money going to the waitstaff than the owners. I don't think it's a coincidence that waiting tables is one of the more livable service jobs, and my guess is that it would pay a lot less money if business owners were in charge of deciding how much to pay them.
I agree with malevolent (first quotation). I like being able to tip, sure. What I dislike creeping into the UK is the feeling that the tip is obligatory. I can understand the deal with the US - tipping makes up for pathetic minimum wage rules which seemed designed to screw over people who need the money the most. From Wikipedia:
I do resent restaurants in the UK automatically adding a voluntary service charge to the bill regardless of party size, and then telling you the final total including the service charge, so that if service was crap you have to cross out what they put and put something else when paying by card. I've noticed that trick becoming more widespread. I stress that I only resent it when it's voluntary, or you don't have the party size that requires it - it seems like a trick to get people to see the big, bold number and pay that without reading the bill.
I am also wary of a US custom being imported when the situations are to my mind completely different, not least because I don't wish to see the US stratification of minimum wage come into effect here. Also, because whilst I absolutely don't mind tipping for good service in the UK, I don't want to feel like some social pariah because I refuse to tip for poor or even satisfactory service - it's like being paid twice just to do your job.
posted by djgh at 6:39 PM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
And I'm hoping it doesn't creep in any further, it's all rather awkward and degrading for everyone involved. I prefer to just, y'know, pay what items/services really cost and minimise the whole master/servant thing.
---
Personally I like being able to tip, because it's money that the business can't take a cut out of. No offense to people who own restaurants and bars, but I'd rather see my money going to the waitstaff than the owners. I don't think it's a coincidence that waiting tables is one of the more livable service jobs, and my guess is that it would pay a lot less money if business owners were in charge of deciding how much to pay them.
I agree with malevolent (first quotation). I like being able to tip, sure. What I dislike creeping into the UK is the feeling that the tip is obligatory. I can understand the deal with the US - tipping makes up for pathetic minimum wage rules which seemed designed to screw over people who need the money the most. From Wikipedia:
As of July 24, 2009, the federal minimum wage in the United States is $7.25 per hour. Many states and municipalities have minimum wages higher than this (see List of U.S. minimum wages), but some U.S. territories (such as American Samoa) are exempt. Some types of labor are also exempt, and tipped labor must be paid a minimum of $2.13 per hour,[1] as long as the hourly wage plus tipped income result in a minimum of $7.25 per hour.However, the UK doesn't (to the best of my knowledge) have these levels of minimum wage. Everyone has the same minimum wage, and it's set at a level that seems to me to be reasonable. I am more than happy for tipping to represent a "thank you for good service" in the UK, and when I'm in the US I understand the various tipping levels and act accordingly.
I do resent restaurants in the UK automatically adding a voluntary service charge to the bill regardless of party size, and then telling you the final total including the service charge, so that if service was crap you have to cross out what they put and put something else when paying by card. I've noticed that trick becoming more widespread. I stress that I only resent it when it's voluntary, or you don't have the party size that requires it - it seems like a trick to get people to see the big, bold number and pay that without reading the bill.
I am also wary of a US custom being imported when the situations are to my mind completely different, not least because I don't wish to see the US stratification of minimum wage come into effect here. Also, because whilst I absolutely don't mind tipping for good service in the UK, I don't want to feel like some social pariah because I refuse to tip for poor or even satisfactory service - it's like being paid twice just to do your job.
posted by djgh at 6:39 PM on September 25, 2009 [1 favorite]
Jason Kottke posted a few related pieces in one post, including another by Chiarella where he takes the $20 shtick on the road. I love the Chiarella stuff, including another piece where he decided to (for thirty days) take up smoking, at age 46.
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 7:15 PM on September 25, 2009
posted by Conrad Cornelius o'Donald o'Dell at 7:15 PM on September 25, 2009
djgh: However, the UK doesn't (to the best of my knowledge) have these levels of minimum wage. Everyone has the same minimum wage, and it's set at a level that seems to me to be reasonable
I think this is the reason Americans along the Northern US border tell jokes about Canadians and canoes.
posted by Decimask at 5:36 PM on September 26, 2009
I think this is the reason Americans along the Northern US border tell jokes about Canadians and canoes.
posted by Decimask at 5:36 PM on September 26, 2009
« Older Utopian Communes in the British Isles | You're all drones! Especially the drones! Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 8:25 AM on September 25, 2009