Frolic
December 4, 2009 2:10 AM Subscribe
Revisiting Old-School Text Adventures as a Jaded Modern Gamer. {NSFW language}
Clearly, we need more use of the 'phallusbeast' tag on Metafilter.
On that subject: there's a drink you can buy, apparently for real, called Tentacle Grape.
posted by Malor at 3:36 AM on December 4, 2009
On that subject: there's a drink you can buy, apparently for real, called Tentacle Grape.
posted by Malor at 3:36 AM on December 4, 2009
There really is only one appropriate response to this particular post, and loath as I am to resort to this type of vernacular, I feel it's called for.
pwned lol
posted by MrVisible at 3:49 AM on December 4, 2009
pwned lol
posted by MrVisible at 3:49 AM on December 4, 2009
This reminds me of a tree-buggery strip from something positive.
posted by substrate at 5:30 AM on December 4, 2009
posted by substrate at 5:30 AM on December 4, 2009
I saw this somewhere else yesterday, and as a result came across this Omegle "text adventure". I got a kick out of it as well.
Omegle is a random-assignment chat system; it pairs you randomly with some other person and the two of you can talk anonymously. My understanding is that it's heavily (ab)used by the 4chan set ... however, this use of it is the best I've seen.
posted by Kadin2048 at 5:36 AM on December 4, 2009 [13 favorites]
Omegle is a random-assignment chat system; it pairs you randomly with some other person and the two of you can talk anonymously. My understanding is that it's heavily (ab)used by the 4chan set ... however, this use of it is the best I've seen.
posted by Kadin2048 at 5:36 AM on December 4, 2009 [13 favorites]
Ha! The post (and Kadin's last link) remind me of what some friends did in the BBS days. Just for a lark they wrote their own text adventure (and engine) based on real users, and their quirks.
The game ALWAYS ended with you being run through with a spear; the last words shown are "You Die, and it Hurts." Those words still run through my head whenever I get fragged.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 6:57 AM on December 4, 2009
The game ALWAYS ended with you being run through with a spear; the last words shown are "You Die, and it Hurts." Those words still run through my head whenever I get fragged.
posted by Hardcore Poser at 6:57 AM on December 4, 2009
A hollow voice says, "Fool!"
posted by Pater Aletheias at 7:01 AM on December 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Pater Aletheias at 7:01 AM on December 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
I've always wanted to write a story where some kind of computer virus has wiped out all other forms of entertainment, and text adventure (ahem.. interactive fiction) authors are lauded as rock stars, the best of whom write their own AI-laden parser and world simulation while having a stellar command of multiple languages.
Then I realize there's about 10 people interested in such a story, and they all hang out on rec.arts.int-fiction.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:12 AM on December 4, 2009
Then I realize there's about 10 people interested in such a story, and they all hang out on rec.arts.int-fiction.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:12 AM on December 4, 2009
Funny! Reminds me a little of this link I posted a while back -- If World War II were a multiplayer RTS game.
posted by brain_drain at 8:48 AM on December 4, 2009
posted by brain_drain at 8:48 AM on December 4, 2009
It seemed promising, and then it got causally misogynistic and weirdly rapey, which is starting to seem like the humor of first resort for the unfunny.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:31 PM on December 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:31 PM on December 4, 2009 [1 favorite]
I'd much rather read "Visiting New-Fangled Video Games as a Jaded Old-School Text Adventurer."
How long must we wait for Zarf to review another video game?
posted by straight at 12:53 PM on December 4, 2009
How long must we wait for Zarf to review another video game?
posted by straight at 12:53 PM on December 4, 2009
I came in here to say exactly what Astro Zombie said.
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:28 PM on December 4, 2009
posted by LobsterMitten at 6:28 PM on December 4, 2009
It seemed promising, and then it got causally misogynistic and weirdly rapey, which is starting to seem like the humor of first resort for the unfunny.
I would usually agree, but I think in this case, the "weirdly rapey" has been completely justified :) It reminds me of my days early days as a DM, trying to push a couple of unruly friends into what I was sure would have been the most interesting direction. I had to eventually resort to angry bears suddenly popping out of nowhere to literally goad them towards the proper path, which ended up wiping the whole party out. Yeah, I should have known better...
posted by wet-raspberry at 8:36 PM on December 4, 2009
I would usually agree, but I think in this case, the "weirdly rapey" has been completely justified :) It reminds me of my days early days as a DM, trying to push a couple of unruly friends into what I was sure would have been the most interesting direction. I had to eventually resort to angry bears suddenly popping out of nowhere to literally goad them towards the proper path, which ended up wiping the whole party out. Yeah, I should have known better...
posted by wet-raspberry at 8:36 PM on December 4, 2009
Metafilter: I came in here to say exactly what Astro Zombie said.
posted by Smedleyman at 10:48 PM on December 4, 2009
posted by Smedleyman at 10:48 PM on December 4, 2009
Everyone bitches about rape. Nobody cares when people smack around gnomes.
posted by Bageena at 1:03 PM on December 7, 2009
posted by Bageena at 1:03 PM on December 7, 2009
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posted by figment of my conation at 2:32 AM on December 4, 2009