Seduction and Attraction
December 13, 2009 3:06 PM Subscribe
Exhibit A: "But avoid spilling red wine because you don't want him to remember you for the wrong reasons."
Exhibit B: "So there you have it, men. Feminism: It may just get you a striptease! Happy Valentine's Day!" (via Geameade)
Exhibit B: "So there you have it, men. Feminism: It may just get you a striptease! Happy Valentine's Day!" (via Geameade)
When things fall appart either because of environmental disaster or economic collapse, I predict found footage will become the currency of choice. There are millions of VHS tapes out there, and most people used to an affluent lifestyle won't have the resolve to live in pre-agrarian ways. Most of the people striving to live will be surviving IRONICALLY. They'll work hard to maintain a portable VHS player and keep it charged, and they'll crowd around them at the end of a day of hunter-gathering, much like prehistoric man would gather around the fire.
posted by mccarty.tim at 3:19 PM on December 13, 2009 [12 favorites]
posted by mccarty.tim at 3:19 PM on December 13, 2009 [12 favorites]
AAAAUGH! Those people making out in the restaurant! Bleeeagh! Unhygenic! Get a room!
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 3:19 PM on December 13, 2009
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 3:19 PM on December 13, 2009
I watched that whole best/worst seduction video with the same look on my face as the guy at the end of it.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:20 PM on December 13, 2009
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:20 PM on December 13, 2009
Metafilter: It may just get you a striptease!
Nah. I had to quit. The papercuts from all those c-notes in my g-string started to hurt after awhile.
posted by jonmc at 3:20 PM on December 13, 2009
Nah. I had to quit. The papercuts from all those c-notes in my g-string started to hurt after awhile.
posted by jonmc at 3:20 PM on December 13, 2009
Also, Exhibit A is from Everything Is Terrible, which has some other great terrible relationship videos. There's usually an EIT post on the FP once every week or two. You probably recognize some of them already.
posted by mccarty.tim at 3:22 PM on December 13, 2009
posted by mccarty.tim at 3:22 PM on December 13, 2009
I'm just filled with this weird mix of shame and horror for humanity.
posted by Artw at 3:28 PM on December 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Artw at 3:28 PM on December 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
I like the advice about not mentioning past relationships, health issues, money problems or problems with men.
"My last boyfriend was totally insensitive about my irritable bowl syndrome. I ended up ruining my credit on prescriptions and a little 'retail therapy.' If only men weren't all so immature."
posted by elwoodwiles at 3:33 PM on December 13, 2009
"My last boyfriend was totally insensitive about my irritable bowl syndrome. I ended up ruining my credit on prescriptions and a little 'retail therapy.' If only men weren't all so immature."
posted by elwoodwiles at 3:33 PM on December 13, 2009
The girl saying "The way he dresses" is standing next to a guy wearing a Moosehead Beer shirt. Amazing.
posted by furtive at 3:35 PM on December 13, 2009
posted by furtive at 3:35 PM on December 13, 2009
The source for exhibit A: Video Home System.
Cause fuck gawker.
posted by Science! at 3:49 PM on December 13, 2009
Cause fuck gawker.
posted by Science! at 3:49 PM on December 13, 2009
Metafilter: We call it 'nookie', so to speak.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 4:21 PM on December 13, 2009
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 4:21 PM on December 13, 2009
I learned the only reason a woman would be interested in sports is if she finds one of the players attractive.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 4:24 PM on December 13, 2009
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 4:24 PM on December 13, 2009
Naturally there's one guy promoting a 12-pack and blow as the way to a woman's heart.
If only they had roofies in the 80s, eh?
posted by bwg at 4:33 PM on December 13, 2009
If only they had roofies in the 80s, eh?
posted by bwg at 4:33 PM on December 13, 2009
If only they had roofies in the 80s, eh?
We did, but we called 'em quaaludes back then,
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:45 PM on December 13, 2009
We did, but we called 'em quaaludes back then,
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:45 PM on December 13, 2009
Metafilter: All you need is 5 dollars, a 12 pack of beer, a gram of coke, and ... a whip!
posted by mannequito at 4:47 PM on December 13, 2009
posted by mannequito at 4:47 PM on December 13, 2009
Spilling my drink on a man seems like a waste of a perfectly good drink that I could be downing while watching Dallas re-runs and eating my pint of Häagen-Dazs.
posted by Never teh Bride at 4:50 PM on December 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Never teh Bride at 4:50 PM on December 13, 2009 [1 favorite]
Sometimes I surprise myself with my own squareness. I have no problem watching most porn yet I was TOTALLY SCANDALIZED when that dude put his hand down the lady's shirt in the restaurant scene. Just... it's unseemly! You can't just... uncouth!... you have to... decency! Or... I'm sputtering!!
posted by hegemone at 5:05 PM on December 13, 2009 [10 favorites]
posted by hegemone at 5:05 PM on December 13, 2009 [10 favorites]
finally, a reason to be proud that I live near Detroit...
posted by HuronBob at 5:13 PM on December 13, 2009
posted by HuronBob at 5:13 PM on December 13, 2009
I was TOTALLY SCANDALIZED when that dude put his hand down the lady's shirt in the restaurant scene.
So was I, for what it's worth. I actually had to turn my head and look away.
posted by Ouisch at 5:18 PM on December 13, 2009
So was I, for what it's worth. I actually had to turn my head and look away.
posted by Ouisch at 5:18 PM on December 13, 2009
Goddamn! if that wasn't the awesomest closing graphics I've seen in more than a decade. They just don't make 'em like that any more, what with the laser sound effect and everything. Shit.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:25 PM on December 13, 2009
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:25 PM on December 13, 2009
Hypothesis: "Exploring new ways of seduction" a la the lady at the end of the second video will have an adverse effect on the sexual arousal of Mr. hegemone.
Experiment Procedure: Approached Mr. hegemone as he read in bed. Commenced mimicry of dance moves.
Results: "Please stop." -Mr. hegemone
Conclusion: Hypothesis confirmed. Immediate nudity seems quite sufficient for seduction purposes.
posted by hegemone at 5:40 PM on December 13, 2009 [2 favorites]
Experiment Procedure: Approached Mr. hegemone as he read in bed. Commenced mimicry of dance moves.
Results: "Please stop." -Mr. hegemone
Conclusion: Hypothesis confirmed. Immediate nudity seems quite sufficient for seduction purposes.
posted by hegemone at 5:40 PM on December 13, 2009 [2 favorites]
Results: "Please stop." -Mr. hegemone
Mr. Psho would burst out laughing, and then ask me to get out of the way of the TV because "Mythbusters" was on.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 6:00 PM on December 13, 2009
Mr. Psho would burst out laughing, and then ask me to get out of the way of the TV because "Mythbusters" was on.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 6:00 PM on December 13, 2009
I'm pretty sure the guy at the 1:55 mark of the Seduction video co-starred in Nacho Libre.
posted by Cody's Keeper at 6:07 PM on December 13, 2009
posted by Cody's Keeper at 6:07 PM on December 13, 2009
These are great but they're no Flirting with Magic (also an everything is terrible production)
posted by Pollomacho at 6:12 PM on December 13, 2009
posted by Pollomacho at 6:12 PM on December 13, 2009
When hitting on a man goes horribly wrong:
"You know someone out to come out with a newspaper that only has good news in it!"
"That's a terrific idea, I'd be the first person to buy it!"
"And somebody ought to do something about all these damn minorities too!"
"Errrr... Oh look, my bus!"
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 6:29 PM on December 13, 2009
"You know someone out to come out with a newspaper that only has good news in it!"
"That's a terrific idea, I'd be the first person to buy it!"
"And somebody ought to do something about all these damn minorities too!"
"Errrr... Oh look, my bus!"
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 6:29 PM on December 13, 2009
"What you need in Detroit is, a six pack of beer, a gram of coke, and a whip"
posted by delmoi at 6:29 PM on December 13, 2009
posted by delmoi at 6:29 PM on December 13, 2009
Incredibly, Gob Bluth shows up thirty seconds into that Flirting with Magic video...
posted by Bromius at 6:50 PM on December 13, 2009
posted by Bromius at 6:50 PM on December 13, 2009
I don't think men were threatened by a woman coming on to them. It was just taken as a surefire sign that your wife was a whore.
Look at her dance like that! Surely she does that for a living! Oh god what have I done to my family name!
posted by graventy at 7:44 PM on December 13, 2009
Look at her dance like that! Surely she does that for a living! Oh god what have I done to my family name!
posted by graventy at 7:44 PM on December 13, 2009
I will take a jacuzzi with the first person to create and post a MetaFilter video logo that mimics the closing logo on that second video.
posted by davejay at 11:27 PM on December 13, 2009
posted by davejay at 11:27 PM on December 13, 2009
I was TOTALLY SCANDALIZED when that dude put his hand down the lady's shirt in the restaurant scene.
So was I, for what it's worth. I actually had to turn my head and look away.
OH MY GOD hegemone and Ouisch, you were not kidding. Even though I knew what to expect (sort of) I still let out an involuntary shriek during that part of the video.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:20 AM on December 14, 2009
So was I, for what it's worth. I actually had to turn my head and look away.
OH MY GOD hegemone and Ouisch, you were not kidding. Even though I knew what to expect (sort of) I still let out an involuntary shriek during that part of the video.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:20 AM on December 14, 2009
Is it just me, or does the guy watching the striptease look a little like Herschel Savage?
posted by bwg at 2:13 AM on December 14, 2009
posted by bwg at 2:13 AM on December 14, 2009
"Research shows that 40 percent of men suffer from shyness, and 80 percent of men have been shy at one point in their lives."
I am really, really hopping that's a euphemism.
posted by kittyprecious at 3:57 AM on December 14, 2009
I am really, really hopping that's a euphemism.
posted by kittyprecious at 3:57 AM on December 14, 2009
So gawker is basically ebaumsword now? Cool.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:47 AM on December 14, 2009
posted by Potomac Avenue at 4:47 AM on December 14, 2009
What? Like you people never got to 2nd base in a restaurant before?
posted by Cookiebastard at 6:30 AM on December 14, 2009
posted by Cookiebastard at 6:30 AM on December 14, 2009
What? Like you people never got to 2nd base in a restaurant before?
OK, but I bet he was using a corked bat and she was called up from the minors.
posted by pracowity at 6:56 AM on December 14, 2009
OK, but I bet he was using a corked bat and she was called up from the minors.
posted by pracowity at 6:56 AM on December 14, 2009
dammit, now when I throw a drink at someone they might think I'm hitting on them. All the best ways of self-expression are being co-opted!
posted by jacalata at 9:12 PM on December 14, 2009
posted by jacalata at 9:12 PM on December 14, 2009
What? Like you people never got to 2nd base in a restaurant before?
Not since I was about 14, no.
posted by Ouisch at 9:08 PM on December 16, 2009
Not since I was about 14, no.
posted by Ouisch at 9:08 PM on December 16, 2009
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FeminismMetafilter: It may just get you a striptease!FTFY?
posted by axiom at 3:16 PM on December 13, 2009