A box of cereal just never does have enough marshmallows... UNTIL NOW!!!..;-p

September 8, 2010 9:47 PM

Here at Cereal Marshmallows Our Goal is to Deliver you the absolute best and Crunchiest marshmallows available and I believe that is just what we have.

I went Crazy for a few Months and tried the Cereal Marshmallows in almost every cereal you can name and i've got to say a favorite would be hard to pick.

posted by phunniemee (56 comments total)

Wh-...what...
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:53 PM on September 8, 2010

I went Crazy for a few Months and tried the Cereal Marshmallows in almost every cerealfont you can name...
posted by davejay at 9:55 PM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

I want to snark, but...at the prices listed, twelve pounds of these sounds just about right for gifting.
posted by davejay at 9:57 PM on September 8, 2010

a few Huge bags of cereal marshmallows WOW you just made the biggest impression possible
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:59 PM on September 8, 2010

Isn't a crunchy marshmallow just stale?
posted by pompomtom at 10:00 PM on September 8, 2010

Cerealmarshmallows.com is positive that once you have tried our products, the results you experience will prove that no other herbal or vitamin nutritional supplements compare.

!
posted by mazola at 10:05 PM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]

I find the videos kind of endearing. You take one look at the site and you're all, shit's crazy, bro, but then you watch the videos and there's this normal-looking guy, making perfectly reasoned assessments of his heavily marshmallowed cereals. It's just so...insane is too harsh, and silly doesn't quite cut it...wacky. It's very, very wacky.
posted by phunniemee at 10:06 PM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]

Oops, all marshmallows!
posted by zsazsa at 10:08 PM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]

I actually think this is a great idea and you should be able to relate if you were ever a kid eating marshmallow-y cereal and saving them for last, to savor them.

However, I have a rule about doing business with people who capitalize randomly....
posted by mreleganza at 10:14 PM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

It's a small business with a sincere, but amateurish, website. It does exactly what it says on the tin.

This is What The Internet Is For. This business would have had a harder time being profitable before the internet, because of a lack of ability to advertise. Now, this guy can buy up the adwords for crunchy marshmallows, sell his product in earnest, and maybe turn a bit of a profit doing it. And the world is a better place for it!

I don't think it's wacky at all. I think it's fucking awesome.
posted by Fraxas at 10:16 PM on September 8, 2010 [14 favorites]

I've never had, or even heard of, having marshmallows in cereal, crunchy ones at that. The idea is completely outlandish to me. Is there something wrong with me?
posted by foxy at 10:18 PM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

I don't think it's wacky at all. I think it's fucking awesome.

It can be two things. Especially these two things.
posted by mhum at 10:21 PM on September 8, 2010 [6 favorites]

It's a North American thing, foxy. Lucky Charms is the canonical marshmallowed breakfast cereal.
posted by Fraxas at 10:22 PM on September 8, 2010

Made with MS-Word?
posted by benzenedream at 10:23 PM on September 8, 2010

Best. Drug-smuggling front. Ever.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:24 PM on September 8, 2010 [6 favorites]

Those are supposed to be marshmallows in those cereals?
posted by smackfu at 10:27 PM on September 8, 2010

I like my crunchy marshmallows in hot chocolate. I have even packed th on overseas trips to marshmallow challenged places like Bosnia.
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 10:28 PM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

Marbit, the technical name is marbit.
posted by nathan_teske at 10:32 PM on September 8, 2010 [10 favorites]

Pepsi chew.
posted by mosk at 10:39 PM on September 8, 2010 [2 favorites]

Also, my brain's Lucky Charms receptors -- which haven't had a fix in at least 20 years -- reflexively released a flood of dopamine as I scrolled through this site.
posted by mosk at 10:47 PM on September 8, 2010

This is actually so much more twisted then 50 pounds of silly putty.

I could eat some crunchy marbit because I even like candy corn, gummy worms and the occasional circus peanut, but... I would go with the hot chocolate route because - ow.

But if you're hardcore you mix that with cap'n crunch and grapenuts and spoonfuls of sugar and spend a few hours moonwalking on the ceiling.
posted by loquacious at 10:51 PM on September 8, 2010 [1 favorite]

Cracklin' Oat Bran--with marshmallows!
posted by sourwookie at 10:59 PM on September 8, 2010

For Cars, Trucks, Vitamins, Stereo Equipment, The RIOT, Cereal Marshmallows, Cleanses and on and on and on…
posted by gamera at 11:11 PM on September 8, 2010

I used to pick the marbits out of the box of Lucky Charms. If I'd gotten a bag of these I would have thought I'd died and gone to heaven.

And there was something special about the raisins in Raisin Bran, too. Anyone selling those?
posted by Jimmy Havok at 11:14 PM on September 8, 2010

Whoever I draw in the Secret Schmoopy Quonsar Gift Exchange this year better have one hell of a sweet tooth!
posted by sambosambo at 12:16 AM on September 9, 2010

Those are supposed to be marshmallows cereal in those cereals marshmallows?
posted by arcticseal at 12:49 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

I wonder how they compare to these competitively priced marshmallow bits?
posted by funkiwan at 2:09 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

The only think wrong with cereal marshmallow bits is that they SQUEAK when you chew them. Makes the hair stand up on my arm just thinking about it.
posted by Ron Thanagar at 3:45 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

Oh and this bit (under BLOG) was just plain awesome:

OK this is sort of a Rough Draft of a ad that just kinda puts all the pictures in 1 place so I can show people if you arent looking for cars and you are subscribed to my Blog for Vitamins or Marshmallows I am sorry for the intrusion.

And yes, I would buy a used car from this man.
posted by Ron Thanagar at 3:46 AM on September 9, 2010

On the rare occasions that my mom bought me a box of Lucky Charms, I couldn't help pouring the whole box out into a big bowl, picking out the marshmallows and eating them on the spot and then returning the oat cereal back into the box. She always made me plow through that boring (but probably still sugar-coated) cereal until it was gone. It was still worth it, though. I am very glad to know about this site.
posted by Kangaroo at 4:03 AM on September 9, 2010

I can get these at a local Amish market that's open on the weekends Pretty cheap too I think they were about 75¢ a pound.
But I will say they are pretty cool to have around
posted by ShawnString at 4:50 AM on September 9, 2010

I can get these at a local Amish market that's open on the weekends Pretty cheap too I think they were about 75¢ a pound.

Amishmellows?
posted by jeremias at 5:17 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

"We've secretly replaced little Jimmy's corn flakes with a box of marshmallows. Let's watch and see what happens."
posted by blue_beetle at 5:21 AM on September 9, 2010

The videos are fantastic. He's so genuine, so sincere about how his marshmallows enhance any cereal. The surprise he expresses in the Raisin Bran video is actually sort of charming.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:43 AM on September 9, 2010

The purchasing of marbits has come up before on the blue:

Website, I find your lack of marbits disturbing.
posted by cortex at 11:56 AM on January 8, 2009

cortex, your prayers have been answered.
posted by range at 1:15 PM on January 8, 2009

I remember this exchange vividly because at the time I thought "Oh I would have killed for this as a kid, but now that I am a grown-up with a candy-free lifestyle it is useless...useless, I tell you!"
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 5:46 AM on September 9, 2010

I need these!!!!!
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:21 AM on September 9, 2010

This is just what my breakfast needs right now, more sugar! and I can put them in my coffee? Wooooohooooo!
posted by numbskeleton at 6:26 AM on September 9, 2010

And there was something special about the raisins in Raisin Bran, too. Anyone selling those?

I always thought they were just raisins with sugar on them. Am I wrong? Are they fancy raisins?

Personally, I can't do those crazy sweet marbit cereals anymore... We keep a box of Lucky Charms around for when my cousin's kids stay over, and one day I was feeling particularly frisky and decided to give it a go... There must be something in a child's tastebuds that doesn't register sweet as much, because I was overLOADED.
posted by antifuse at 6:32 AM on September 9, 2010

This is the first day I have really regretted quitting my job to work at home, where only my cats will appreciate my multiple uses of the (new to me) word "marbits." I will be sprinkling it into every conversation I have today.
posted by theredpen at 6:40 AM on September 9, 2010

I agree w/Fraxas - this is what the net is for. It's what it was. Before facebook. This is what Metafilter is for!

Speaking of non-Americans not knowing about these marshmallows (marbits? I learned something new!):

Watch this cute Irish guy review Lucky Charms from his import store.
posted by symbioid at 6:46 AM on September 9, 2010

Watch this cute Irish guy review Lucky Charms from his import store.

I love that part of our balanced breakfast is another country's candy.
posted by phunniemee at 7:37 AM on September 9, 2010 [3 favorites]

I think I might have been the weirdest kid ever, because I refused to eat sugary kid cereals. Especially the ones with marshmallows. I have always hated marshmallows. On the other hand, I like the word "marshmallow," and I like the way they smell, and Lucky Charms marbits are really pretty. I'd buy these to fill a wading pool with, or to shellac and turn into jewelry, I just wouldn't eat 'em.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:47 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

And there was something special about the raisins in Raisin Bran, too. Anyone selling those?

I'm pretty sure the secret to Raisin Bran raisins is taking a grape, drying it out until it's just a wrinkly hunk of fructose, and then dunking it in glucose (ostensibly as a preservative) and re-drying. And maybe also those famous two scoops are periodically dusted with cocaine.

But, yes. Those raisins are special. They'd pretty much have to be to make a soggy wad of bran seem appealing. (I don't know who these crazy people are who buy 100% Bran, but I'm guessing there's something really terribly wrong with their insides.)
posted by Sys Rq at 7:48 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

Yeah but how the fuck do you make a grape nut?
posted by abc123xyzinfinity at 8:04 AM on September 9, 2010

I just spent forty minutes on this site, and I could not look away. A man expressing his passion for the crunchy marshmallow. Really charming.

Of course, then you move to his herbal cleanse site, and in the same writing style, he reminds you that eating sugar contributes to 5 pounds of stool in your colon, but that his cleanse will take care of that.

But I bookmarked it. I gotta say he won me over with the rice krispy treat.
posted by freshwater at 8:05 AM on September 9, 2010

Yeah but how the fuck do you make a grape nut

My father always said that as a kid, he thought that Grape Nuts were the seeds from a grape somehow made into a cereal.

The he ate it, he says, and knew that they were.
posted by namewithoutwords at 8:14 AM on September 9, 2010

Yeah but how the fuck do you make a grape nut?


20 scoops. Same as in...
posted by Babblesort at 8:18 AM on September 9, 2010 [1 favorite]

I'm pretty sure the highlight of the videos is about 1 minute in on the Frosted Mini Wheats trial, where he chews, ponders, and then decides he "may have a couple too many marshmallows in there."
posted by Partial Law at 9:17 AM on September 9, 2010

fantastic !
the marshmallows were always my favorite part....
(i'll probably end up buying some of these...)
posted by g.i.r. at 9:24 AM on September 9, 2010

namewithoutwords: "Yeah but how the fuck do you make a grape nut

My father always said that as a kid, he thought that Grape Nuts were the seeds from a grape somehow made into a cereal.

The he ate it, he says, and knew that they were."

I remember as a kid our family friends had a farm... They had chicken feed. The son of the family had me try the chicken feed. I swear it was just like grape nuts, and I thought - shit, why pay so much for grape nuts if you can just come out to this big bin and have tons of it!

I suppose it's all similar - barley and shit, but I can't believe it was pretty much the same thing.

And how do you make a grape nut? Play it 48 hours of Lady Gaga at 100 decibels... (groan)
posted by symbioid at 11:01 AM on September 9, 2010

Ohhh...yessss. I LOVE cereal marshmallows! Astronaut marshmallows! So squeaky and awful and delicious!
posted by biscotti at 1:39 PM on September 9, 2010

Not nearly as popular is his side business, selling bulk marshmallow-less bags of Lucky Charms. Stale Formed Oats doesn't have the same charm as Crunchy Marshmallows does.
posted by msbutah at 1:56 PM on September 9, 2010

Cereal Marshmallows are the best! I've actually looked into buying JUST the marshmallows before. I was very close to buying some from a bulk spice store online, but it cost more than double the price of a box of Lucky Charms.

There are these solidified yogurt bits in Rainsin Bran.. Extra, I think it is (either that or Raisin Bran Crunch). Does anyone sell them separately? I could live off of solidified yogurt bits (there are no raisins or pretzels or anything in them), crunchy marshmallows, and ice cream.
posted by Mael Oui at 8:17 PM on September 9, 2010

I know what I'm getting my sisters for Christmas. Thanks, Metafilter!
posted by little light-giver at 9:05 PM on September 9, 2010

@Mael Oui - you might want to look in the baby aisle of your grocery store for yogurt melts. That might be the closest you can get.
posted by anotherkate at 12:50 AM on September 10, 2010

FYI, you can also buy marbits at Nuts Online for what appears to be a significantly better price ($3.99/lb). Can't vouch for their quality myself, but then again I'm not sure "quality" is an adjective one can apply to marbits. (Nuts Online also lacks a rambling, out-of-breath narrative style, which is either a bug or a feature depending on your literary tastes.)
posted by pluckemin at 10:51 AM on September 10, 2010