We use nothing but free-range grapes

November 21, 2010 1:40 AM

"The most important event in the history of wine." Boutique winemaker Bill Wertzberger announces a rather expensive new line of wine. "If you ever find a bottle of wine more expensive ... we will retroactively bill you for the difference, plus a few thousand dollars. Just to make sure that you have the most expensive bottle of wine in the world."
posted by woodblock100 (32 comments total)

The special zircon-encrusted tweezers make all the difference, I hear they are a huge hit in high-end dental floss farming as well.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:03 AM on November 21, 2010 [13 favorites]

"Even the labels are made from authentic 100% gold ... colored paper."
posted by zippy at 2:16 AM on November 21, 2010

The strait-faced factor is hard to bypass.
posted by ZaneJ. at 3:06 AM on November 21, 2010

I bought a bottle. It was good, but not great. I should have waited until it peaked at 2039.
posted by qwip at 4:01 AM on November 21, 2010

Shouldn't the foil cap be made from oxygen-free copper? And all the electrical equipment involved in the production should have unidirectional power cables.
posted by kcds at 4:05 AM on November 21, 2010 [10 favorites]

California always seems to have the money to take everything to the extreme and wine is no different. This is pretty funny (and would make P.T. Barnum proud).
posted by caddis at 4:26 AM on November 21, 2010

Mr Bill loves grilled German sausage, pesto lasagna, baked salmon and wild mushrooms. He is a Neil Young look alike, and listening to Bruce Springsteen, Pearl Jam and Brian Eno while painting the labels for his wine bottle makes him feel all right. Some call him a renaissance man, but simply put, Bill Wertzberger is just a character. A character making wine.

i don't even drink. when i did drink, i hated wine (gave me the worst hangovers). but i want some wertzberger wine. i really do.
posted by msconduct at 5:05 AM on November 21, 2010

i love how there's a shitty handwritten white sticker on the wine that says $1,000,000. fictional marketing budget = 0.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:10 AM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

This wine should be served in a douchebag.
posted by jonmc at 7:38 AM on November 21, 2010 [11 favorites]

funny. mispronouncing a misspelling of the french phrase meaning "a good deal" in the product's name was a nice touch.
posted by facetious at 7:39 AM on November 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

The funny thing is that anyone, literally anyone can totally destroy them in their game by offering $1bln bottle of wine. Are they going to retroactively bill their customers ~$1bln and get paid? Doubt it.
posted by rainy at 7:54 AM on November 21, 2010

Oh, it's a joke? never mind.
posted by rainy at 7:54 AM on November 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

Watch the video. He's clearly poking fun at the industry and people. Hell, the company's tagline is "Wines of character, made by a character."
posted by nomadicink at 8:06 AM on November 21, 2010

I thought this was really boring.
posted by azarbayejani at 8:16 AM on November 21, 2010

Love the crack about bottle weight.
posted by JPD at 8:16 AM on November 21, 2010

The recession is an asshole!
posted by Saxon Kane at 8:31 AM on November 21, 2010

proof of the decline of the American Empire. history may not repeat itself exactly but recursively, humans are bound to make the same exact pedestrianly assholish mistakes that we, as a species, made thousands of years ago.

USA USA USA
posted by liza at 8:37 AM on November 21, 2010

BM
posted by furtive at 9:11 AM on November 21, 2010

Hehe.. this is awesome.. they only use grapes "picked by the light of a full moon." Nice touch.
posted by ReeMonster at 9:40 AM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

And, the great thing about posting ridiculous parody videos on Metafilter is you can see how many idiots don't even click the link before getting all snarky.
posted by ReeMonster at 9:42 AM on November 21, 2010 [11 favorites]

That sounds exactly like something a person who would drink wine made from daylight plucked grapes would say.
posted by Babblesort at 9:50 AM on November 21, 2010 [6 favorites]

Best marketing ever. While Bill here is being facetious, this reminds me of the NōKA Chocolate takedown..which is now 404.
posted by Xoebe at 9:56 AM on November 21, 2010

mispronouncing a misspelling of the french phrase meaning "a good deal" in the product's name was a nice touch

It's simultaneously a play on Bonnes Mares, a grand cru vineyard in Burgundy.
posted by mr vino at 10:53 AM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

Wine Speculator's Review of Post:

88+. On the nose, it smelled of single layered, embedded website wizardry sure to fizzle out a minute after it hit the screen. Surprisingly, the mouthfeel was tangy, providing a nice "F#ck off" to the marketing ploys of American Wineries, French Wineries that want Americans to buy their wines and the wine industry's general current state where sadly, advertising as opposed to quality, always gets you front and center attention from those sad, angry lawyers.

While the finish leaves much to be desired, one must admire the overall attempt a worthy one.

View now, through Monday.
posted by priested at 11:09 AM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

I would have thought that the most important event in the history of wine was when somebody figured out that grape juice can be made into an alcoholic beverage.
posted by madcaptenor at 12:04 PM on November 21, 2010 [2 favorites]

These berries do what when how?

*sets aside toad and mushroom*
posted by panaceanot at 12:09 PM on November 21, 2010 [1 favorite]

I just saw one of these bottles on ebay.
posted by srboisvert at 1:23 PM on November 21, 2010

Eh, but props for the Frank Zappa reference.
posted by lordrunningclam at 4:00 PM on November 21, 2010

I would have thought that the most important event in the history of wine was when somebody figured out that grape juice can be made into an alcoholic beverage.

No, that's the onset of the history of wine, but not an event in that history.
posted by kenko at 4:14 PM on November 21, 2010

Ooooooooo. MONSTER vintage.
posted by Samizdata at 4:24 PM on November 21, 2010

Damien Hirst's crappy diamond covered skull comes to mind... for some reason.
posted by R. Mutt at 5:06 PM on November 21, 2010

Please see "The Todd" Anderson, who was the first to come up with this premise in California:

http://www.ghosthorseworld.com/
posted by Hurst at 6:20 PM on November 21, 2010