June 4, 2003

Holy Heavy METAfilter poisoning Batman!

Not as easy to understand as those self-install satellite dishes The video the army remembered to forget? Just like he Treasury Department's amnesia regarding Hemp for Victory.
posted by KidnapCounty at 11:13 PM PST - 15 comments

No Painted Hussies!

Short of finding your spouse from Jailbabes, the "mail order bride" has to be the worst notion in the proud tradition of horrible spousal selection. But for too long now, the lonely women of the world have been shut out from this marketplace of love. Not anymore, thanks to MailOrderHusbands. Order now, going fast!
posted by jonson at 9:54 PM PST - 8 comments

I live in a Mansion... With Wilfred Brimley?

Play MASH. Relive the game that made you completely ignore most of your elementary education. Warning: Not safe for getting work done any time soon.
posted by qDot at 8:18 PM PST - 11 comments

Penguins!!!

Penguins. Evil ones. Mr. Flibble. Feathers McGraw. The Linux penguin. They're coming to get you. They will do bad things. Review the evidence for yourself and then get protection. Dun dun duuuuuuuun! It's the Penguin Conspiracy.
posted by VelvetHellvis at 5:36 PM PST - 15 comments

?

The story of Mister, uh, Big
Initially I was going to post about this with a tongue-in-cheek tone. But when I got to the end of the piece, I was disturbed to find that an act of child abuse - an act of what I see as an act of pedophilia - has been reported matter-of-factly by Rolling Stone, without so much as the blink of an eye. It's not the central part of the story, not the reason for telling it, but still. Why? is it because perhaps the perpetrator is a woman and it's not seen as a crime? Or is it her age? Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

Warning - might not be safe for work, especially if the link offsite at the bottom of the page is working...
posted by tomcosgrave at 5:08 PM PST - 76 comments

plus, we all live in a yellow submarine

All the economy needs is love. "Japan is suffering from deflation and I think there are a lot of people who want to be helped," said one businessman, who had already been hugged twice. Excuse me, fuller has to go camp out in the Sailor Mercury hug line now.
posted by jfuller at 4:27 PM PST - 14 comments

CafePress goes copyright crazy

New user agreement means customers lose copyright. CafePress has long been the independent's way of printing up a few pithy slogans, or customizing small orders of apparel. But the new TOS now assigns exclusive, royalty-free rights to publish, display and gain trademark registration for the customers items. (Oh, they also now charge a 5% fee out of your commission and are "withholding fees for taxes" and oh, did I mention the new $25.00 a month "administrative fee"?) Have they just shot their business model in the foot?
posted by dejah420 at 3:40 PM PST - 27 comments

Classic American Briefcases

Bountiful American Leather Babes On The Rampage: I was looking for umbrellas, traditional British umbrellas, to shade me from the Portuguese summer sun, when, all of a sudden, I came across a cornucopia of beautiful, classic American briefcases. I still use the capacious, weather-worn Schlesinger case my father gave me when I was twelve. Well waaah! Now I want a new one. The British cases are desirable too. In fact the whole damn shop is one big leather dream. I mean moleskines, fountain pens, books and bottles are all very nice - but real men, like real women, need truly big leather bags to carry their whole life with them. Along with a good umbrella, of course. One of those Malaccas with a hidden flask for whisky, perhaps.
posted by MiguelCardoso at 2:05 PM PST - 16 comments

USA! USA!

Unprecedented victories for Republican foreign policy. A new survey from Pew Global shows that in the past 2 years the Muslim world has been further alienated from the US, Europe wants to be more independent of the US, and the UN's reputation has been dramatically weakened. The Cliff notes. A wide variety of other interesting results are in the complete report.
posted by badstone at 10:47 AM PST - 38 comments

They grin at me from the trees

First Birds with teeth in 70 million years. Vicious toothed, flying microraptors once darkened the Jurassic skies. Now, scientists have learned to activate the dormant, vestigal avian "tooth gene" and so coaxed chicken embryos into growing teeth. From the grave, Alfred Hitchcock enviously quips - "a messy thing indeed when toothed birds kill a man". Meanwhile the French are appalled: “quand les poules auront des dents”, which translates to “when hens have teeth”, is analogous to the English “pigs might fly”. Coming soon: flying pigs. But there might be a baldness cure in this new research. I'll remember that as the flocks of mutant raptor-fowl move in for the kill.
posted by troutfishing at 10:42 AM PST - 18 comments

homeland security alerts

Arizona may ignore the next Homeland Security Orange Alert "It creates incredible problems: overtime, financial, functional," said Frank Navarrete, the state's homeland security director. "It's not quite to the point where it creates havoc, but it's quite disruptive."
posted by thedailygrowl at 10:18 AM PST - 22 comments

Dean closes in

Howard Dean is closing in on the lead in New Hampshire, with 16% to Kerry's 17%. Dean is appealing to voters by being outspoken in an environment in which many of his fellow democrats are submissive to Bush's approval rating, and due to anticipation of his universal health care plan, which he is soon to unveil. Already established as the most net-savvy candidate, Dean has hundreds of real-life meetups planned for today.
posted by Ignatius J. Reilly at 10:00 AM PST - 41 comments

Zacarias Moussaoui's brief to the Fourth Circuit

Zacarias Moussaoui's legal brief to the Fourth Circuit regarding his right to question witnesses and the United States' reply. [warning: PDF]
posted by mhaw at 10:00 AM PST - 4 comments

peace in the middle east?

With today's news of peace between Israel and Palestine my opinion of Bush just shot up several notches, but will the compromises stick and finally acheive peace? In the past, Clinton brokered a similar peace deal, Bush I tried it in 1991, Reagan tried, and even Carter did his best. Even with all the previous work, we're still where we are today, which is less than satisfactory for everyone involved. Will today's announcement finally bring peace to the region or is that too much of a pipe dream?
posted by mathowie at 9:45 AM PST - 43 comments

The House passes constitutional ammendment banning flag burning

Flag-burning amendment passes the House? Yeah it's highly unlikley this will pass the Senate which is good. I can't say the same for are friends the French who's government just passed a law to jail or fine anyone who insults the flag let alone burn it.
posted by ZupanGOD at 9:34 AM PST - 36 comments

wolfowitz spills the beans

wolfowitz spills the beans "Let's look at it simply. The most important difference between North Korea and Iraq is that economically, we just had no choice in Iraq. The country swims on a sea of oil." - is telling the truth a new policy of the current administration?
posted by specialk420 at 9:31 AM PST - 40 comments

Dear Pope: please pary for the smiting of people that would charge to e-mail you.

Have a concern and a fiver? Great news, you can e-mail a prayer to the Pope (or the Vatican). Fortunately, we're assured that any response from the Pope (or the Vatican) will be sent directly to you!
posted by Ufez Jones at 8:44 AM PST - 8 comments

Brown Bunny Saga

When Vincent Gallo's "Brown Bunny" debuted at Cannes the fuvor over the sex scenes gave way to outright boos. In fact, the filmmaker later apologized for making the film. Or did he? Now, Gallo says the apology never happened and that Roger Ebert made it up. Ebert says he'll respond on-air on his next show.
posted by bclark at 8:14 AM PST - 35 comments

Aztecs

Aztecs at the Royal Academy. The exhibition may be over but the website can still be enjoyed.
posted by plep at 7:32 AM PST - 3 comments

The Bush who began it all!

HERCUBUSH! Long ago in ancient greece lived the Bush who began it all: HERCUBUSH! Half God, half mortal, half Texan, HERCUBUSH roamed the seven seas with one mission: To Destroy EVIL! "They're like Hitler, only more so!
We'll rub their oil on our torso!"

posted by Dome-O-Rama at 7:31 AM PST - 7 comments

Justin Frankel resigns

Justin Frankel resigns from Nullsoft.
posted by Mwongozi at 7:31 AM PST - 31 comments

The Eighties Tarot

You've seen Pomo tarot, you've let the wisdom of spock guide you using the Star Trek Tarot, and in an act of desperation, you even tried getting down with the Vampire deck. Still haven't found the deck that's right for you?

Maybe it's time you tried the 80s tarot deck. (And before you ruin the surprise, try to guess which Major Arcana they pegged Morrisey for...)
posted by Pinwheel at 6:46 AM PST - 13 comments

Bionic Breakthrough

No longer just the stuff of fantasy, scientists are making amazing breakthroughs when it comes to bionics. We've already read about the bionic eye, and now it seems that we have the bionic leg. [Watch the video.]
posted by debralee at 5:15 AM PST - 7 comments

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