Teens, sex, and power of parents

September 5, 2002 4:35 AM

Teens, sex, and power of parents How did you "discover" sex? from mom? school? Or the pals down the block?
posted by Postroad (28 comments total)

Bukkake from the Internet?
posted by geoff. at 5:13 AM on September 5, 2002

Actually, my parents never talked to me about sex. In grade 5 we had a class in sex education. I'm not sure if my teacher contacted my parents or not, but I was supposed to have returned a signed form in order to take part in the class, but didn't. I was too embarrassed to bring the form to my parents but I was still allowed into the class.

I had already known of some of the mechanics of sex though from discovering my dads porno magazine stash. He had Playboy's dating back to the first issue, Penthouse as well as a sprinkling of hardcore magazines.

By that time I had already experimented a bit with an older girl next door, no actual intercourse but we did engage in mutual masturbation and I did make a fumbling attempt to go down on her at one point, but I only knew that things were going on in that general vincinity and not any real specifics, and she didn't know enough to tell me what to do.
posted by substrate at 5:16 AM on September 5, 2002

my dad kept a stack of playboys in his sock drawer.
posted by quonsar at 5:25 AM on September 5, 2002

substrate: You're turning me on.
posted by Witty at 5:30 AM on September 5, 2002

Its mine, and I'll wash it as fast as I like.
posted by muckybob at 5:54 AM on September 5, 2002

From the article:
"• For older teenage boys, as well as younger teens of both sexes, a connectedness with mothers – the perception that mom is warm and caring – makes a difference."

From the NY Times article:
"High levels of mother-teen connectedness," the second study found, "were not significantly associated with delays in sexual intercourse among 10th- and 11th-grade girls."

From the AP article:
Mothers worried that their daughters are having sex have more influence than they might imagine. Teenage girls who are close to their moms are more likely to stay virgins, researchers reported Wednesday

Not that any of these quotes are necessarily unsupported by the study, but it's just interesting to me the different spins that the reporters choose to put on the data. As is often the case, the CSM seems to have done the best job of accurately describing the results.
posted by boltman at 6:10 AM on September 5, 2002

I learned about sex from books. Specifically What's Happening to Me? and the Judy Blume books. My parents never gave me an actual "sex talk", but they did always warn me about the dangers of unprotected sex leading to STD's or pregnancies. As a result, I always was much more responsible than many of my friends, believing that if I had sex without a condom even one time, that would be the time I got pregnant or some horrible disease. I have gotten some grief for this over the years by various men, but I am very happy that my mother chose to harp on me repeatedly about this.
posted by triggerfinger at 6:22 AM on September 5, 2002

Anybody seen that South Park episode "Proper Condom Use"? Freakin' hilarious episode and a great social commentary. I encourage everyone to d/l it off Kazaa or something, or get it wherever you can find it. The answer is quite simple. School should teach 'bout the biological aspects of sex. Parents should cover the emotional aspects of sex. If necessary, the church could help the parents out, but God help you if you're raised into Catholicism :).
posted by freakystyley at 6:24 AM on September 5, 2002

When my family moved to Denmark back in 1967, we were given a company-owned house. I found a stack of Playboys underneath my bed. Thank you, God!
posted by MrBaliHai at 6:31 AM on September 5, 2002

My mom bought me a Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 toy broomstick . You put it between your legs and it vibrates! =^) It's gotten very good reviews...

"I'm 32 and enjoy riding the broom as much as my 12 yr old and 7 year old. The vibrations, along with the swooshing sounds make for a very magical journey!"
posted by cpfeifer at 6:34 AM on September 5, 2002

I was 14, and had gone through about 4 years of school-based sex ed when my mom finally guilted my dad into having "the talk" with me. It went something like this:

"You know everything by now right?"

"yeah"

"Do you have any questions?"

"nope"

"Allrighty. Will you go get me a beer?"

"Sure".

the end.

My mom and sister, on the other hand, talked about it when she was like 4 or something.

Buddha on a Harley, can we please put giant flaming 40 foot letters saying "we've already seen the farking harry potter broom review thing 10 times!!!"????!!!???
posted by Ufez Jones at 6:44 AM on September 5, 2002

How did you "discover" sex? from mom?

ummm, what kind of messed up backwoods home did YOU grow up in?
posted by KnitWit at 6:58 AM on September 5, 2002

Of my own discovery, I will say only this:

Parents and future parents, please hide your collection of vintage R. Crumb comix in someone else's house. When you have a tomboy, "on top of the tallest cabinet" is just not going to cut it.
posted by Ahmose Nefertari at 7:08 AM on September 5, 2002

I honestly can't remember how I learnt the facts. Is that normal? All I know is that I know them now.
posted by SpaceCadet at 7:14 AM on September 5, 2002

Well, I remember that I had talks with my mom about sex when I was in junior high, but what I clearly remember is that I was 25, engaged, and going to stay in a different city with my fiance and she decided she needed to talk to me about responsible behavior. If there was ever a time for rolling my eyes and saying, "Mo-oom!"...
posted by kate_fairfax at 7:30 AM on September 5, 2002

Grade five class, just like substrate up there. There was the mystery form that we weren't to open - just deliver it to your parents, kids, and mind your own business. I can't believe I followed those instructions.

Dad gave me the condom talk four or five years later, when I was seen around the neighborhood with a girl of, uh, dubious sexual history. I had swiped one from his drawer a few weeks previous (more to practice with than anything... my first condom didn't get to see the battlefield, sadly), so I guess he figured that it was time for some sort of chat.
posted by danwalker at 7:42 AM on September 5, 2002

My neighbors had one of those televisions that you dialed in the station with a knob like a radio, where it didn't set on on a signal but could be fine tuned. And the playboy channel was like channel 37, and they didn't subscribe, but if i put my hand on that knob just right I could get the picture. The first movie I saw was I believe John Leslie's "The Maltese Dildo". That first little taste of porn was all it took, I was hooked evermore. So I learned all about sex from porn. Women love facials, right?
posted by vito90 at 7:55 AM on September 5, 2002

My dad kept a stack of socks in his playboy drawer.

I remeber fondly "Son, don't be ashamed about the sock. It works on all levels."
posted by Frasermoo at 8:15 AM on September 5, 2002

When I was a kid, I shelved books at the local public library...Thank you Dewey Decimal System: 612!
posted by bradlauster at 8:20 AM on September 5, 2002

it's mine and feel free to wash it as fast as you like.
posted by johnnyboy at 9:04 AM on September 5, 2002

Relevant Onion Link
posted by mblandi at 9:12 AM on September 5, 2002

Ugh! I don't want to talk about how I learned about sex-- that is too sad. But a memory that still makes me chuckle is when I was 19 and called home to tell my mom I was spending the night with my boyfriend. Her reply? "Come home and let us talk about this."
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 9:27 AM on September 5, 2002

but if i put my hand on that knob just right

*cleans coffee off monitor*
posted by UncleFes at 9:40 AM on September 5, 2002

discovered through experimentation with neighborhood boys and various members of the junior high football team.


my father's version of "the talk" with me, at age 15 after my mother discovered condoms in my room: "You get a girl pregnant, you're on your own."

i responded with "You don't have to worry about that."

he never mentioned sex to me again.
posted by tolkhan at 10:43 AM on September 5, 2002

this thread is sending me down memory lane in a big way...i remember asking a basic 'sperm and egg' question at like six, and my mom's a nurse so she handled it fine...but then at about 8 or 9 i asked what 'virgin' and 'rape' meant after reading some article in Ladies' Home Journal (!) and that was the beginning of the redfaced parental mumbling. no big sex talk of any sort after that...though my sisters and i were taken out to dinner to celebrate our first periods. oddly, the older we got, the more and more embarassed both parents became around any inkling of sex, relationships, dating, etc. the finale came as my parents dropped me off at college --- literally, getting into their car to drive back to Jersey, my dad looks me in the eye and says, "No sex. No drugs. OK?" i gave him this "you have *got* to be kidding" look that must have terrified him, and laughed as they drove away. hee! oh, and to answer the post question, i learned about sex from Judy Blume and the movie of "Biloxi Blues," no kidding.
posted by serafinapekkala at 11:10 AM on September 5, 2002

Right before my 11th birthday my mother sat me down and told me not to part my legs for anybody other than myself until I reached 18 or she would sew them shut.

Then she left a copy of "The Happy Hooker" and a back massager under her bed.

I had the best mother in the world.
posted by oh posey at 12:06 PM on September 5, 2002

My parents rented "Where Do Babies Come From?", an educational animated video that has two chubby cartoon characters squirm around on a twin size bed. After the showing, I was too horrified to ask any questions.

Man, I hope that if I'm ever a father, I do a much better job about talking about sex with my children.
posted by bryanzera at 12:42 PM on September 5, 2002

Oh, I think I remember that!

"This is called 'making love.'" Awful little Kewpie-like creatures in a bed, cuddled up and leering at each other . . .
posted by Ahmose Nefertari at 4:22 PM on September 5, 2002