Dead last.

June 14, 2005 12:45 PM

Coming in dead last, the U.S., in all sorts of categories like software piracy, scabies, and intentional self harm by blunt object. First in other statistics though, for things like adults prosecuted, starving to death, morbid obesity, and death by non-drug delerium!
posted by Kickstart70 (45 comments total)

It's being last in banana exports (by both GDP and per capita) that really hurts. If we hadn't used the US military to force laborers in other countries to grow our bananas for us, we might really be crippled in this regard.
posted by OmieWise at 12:52 PM on June 14, 2005

I almost forgot:

Why do you hate America?
posted by OmieWise at 12:52 PM on June 14, 2005

Well almost dead last anyways.

Scabies makes me sad inside. :(
posted by rachsumat at 12:54 PM on June 14, 2005

Is it just that my countrymen experience so much more death by drug delerium?
posted by dreamsign at 12:54 PM on June 14, 2005

Huh.. I woulda thought we weren't first in death by starvation. Maybe all the other countries are already pre-starved, and have already gone through their decimation through starvation. I guess it's just finally getting around to us.
posted by Balisong at 12:55 PM on June 14, 2005

I don't actually...especially since most of my friends and family are American. I thought about posting the same sort of info for Canada, but this place seems a little US-centric so I tailored it to the audience.

FWIW, the U.S. appears to do one hell of a good job at keeping it's citizens alive, the bottom-ranked "Mortality -" statistics list is huge.
posted by Kickstart70 at 12:56 PM on June 14, 2005

Last for death by failed abortion attempt. I wonder how long that is going to last?

Good to know we're also last in death by rat bite. Ew.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:58 PM on June 14, 2005

Looks like there's something to that whole killer bees from Mexico thing after all.

Nice post.
posted by The Dryyyyy Cracker at 1:00 PM on June 14, 2005

The USA tied with Ireland for Very Proud of their Nationality and is slightly in the lead for Undesirable neighbours - Criminal record holders.
Interesting...
posted by Balisong at 1:03 PM on June 14, 2005

This list, in particular, is interesting. It's scary to think there's a place (Ireland) where people drink almost twice as much beer as Australians. Because Aussies drink a lot.
posted by The Dryyyyy Cracker at 1:06 PM on June 14, 2005

"Most Militaristic...

#1 Israel...
#3 United States...

#2 SINGAPORE?!"
posted by dreamsign at 1:17 PM on June 14, 2005

We're number one!
We're number one!
U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
We're number one... wait...

what?

Shit.
posted by Hugh2d2 at 1:18 PM on June 14, 2005

We're second-to-last in Morality: Contact with a marine animal, including at home, school, or a "residential institution."

I for one am proud that in America I can live without fear of a shark attack in my apartment.
posted by brain_drain at 1:27 PM on June 14, 2005

"Morality" --> "Mortality" (though the former would also be provocative)
posted by brain_drain at 1:28 PM on June 14, 2005

Fascinating link! I see it does bottom rankings for everywhere, including US; UK; Canada; Australia; France; Mexico.
posted by TheophileEscargot at 1:28 PM on June 14, 2005

That "Delirium, not induced by alcohol and other psychoactive substances" stat sure is an interesting one. What would cause that? Alzheimers? Mad-cow (though England didn't make the list at all)? The US is WAY ahead on it, but I can't think of a reason that wouldn't result in a much different graph.
posted by Kickstart70 at 1:30 PM on June 14, 2005

Lol, brain_drain, your typo ("morality") was extremely amusing. Very few of us date dophins. It's something of which we can be proud.
posted by Malor at 1:31 PM on June 14, 2005

brain_drain, you're never safe from contact with a marine animal...as a certain governmental agent learned in Leonard Part VI. As for Morality: Contact with a marine animal, the United States ranked higher in that category when Troy McClure was still alive.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:33 PM on June 14, 2005

Taxation is very low, although 68 percent of it is spent on Defense. (Last link deserves a FPP, but I'm lazy)
posted by kika at 1:38 PM on June 14, 2005

What would cause that?

Lots of coverage of it lately: U.S. Leads In Mental Illness, Lags in Treatment.
posted by dreamsign at 1:39 PM on June 14, 2005

There's nothing inherently immoral about dating dolphins. The problem is when it becomes having sex with multiple anonymous dolphins, and stealing their wallets and jewelry the next morning.
posted by psmealey at 1:42 PM on June 14, 2005

Malor and Card Cheat, good points. I also failed to give credit to how much better things are today than in the 1970s.
posted by brain_drain at 1:45 PM on June 14, 2005

Canada, second only to the U.K. for Intentional self-poisoning by and exposure to pesticides.

DAMN YOU U.K.!!!!
posted by dreamsign at 1:46 PM on June 14, 2005

The U.S. is not possibly first in death by starvation. Sudan, anyone? F'ing Darfur? People in the third world die by the thousands daily from starvation. Are you kidding me? Sudan is listed on the site as #2 for refugee outflow, but they don't realize thousands of those still in the country are starving to death? Did I completely misunderstand that bar graph? If you switch to the per capita view of starvation deaths, the U.S. is listed as #8 with .41 deaths per million people. Surely, any number of third world countries with much smaller populations than the U.S. and much higher rates of starvation would have much higher per capita starvation deaths? Does the site not have data for such places? In the per capita view, Venezuela is #1 for starvation deaths, and that country does have problems, but Japan as #4?
posted by Derive the Hamiltonian of... at 1:47 PM on June 14, 2005

brain_drain - I liked your first version better!

/(rolling-in-the-ocean...) ritolmao
posted by PurplePorpoise at 1:49 PM on June 14, 2005

Statistics are limited by the quality of information gathering. I would bet that the USA is #1 for amount of stats processed and catalogued.
posted by chaz at 1:54 PM on June 14, 2005

Look at the numbers on the death by starvation chart. The US had 120 people die of starvation, Kyrgyzstan 3, Slovakia and Brazil 1 each, and presumably the countires not listed like Sudan and North Korea had no deaths from starvation. Either we have 298 wordlwide starvation death, or there aren't a lot of places tracking them. In other words, that chart is less than useless.
posted by nflorin at 1:57 PM on June 14, 2005

Derive the Hamiltonian of...,

It's probably a reporting problem. We all know that people are starving in African nations, but who is counting them and reporting them? Certainly not the governments of those countries, who are often complicit in the reasons for these people dying.

As always, take statistics with a grain of salt...though statistics should not wholly be ignored; they just need to be investigated before action is taken.
posted by Kickstart70 at 2:00 PM on June 14, 2005

Most alarming: we're coming in dead last for wine consumption. I plan on rectifying that this weekend.
posted by Lady Penelope at 2:06 PM on June 14, 2005

It's probably a reporting problem.

Understatement of the month. It is a fairly interesting site, but people will read bad statistics like that and go parrot them. A simple statement of "this data is bad/incomplete because we know many people are starving in countries for which we don't have data" on the part of the site developers would catch people's attention and prevent some of that.
posted by Derive the Hamiltonian of... at 2:12 PM on June 14, 2005

"Mortality: Androgenic alopecia (per capita)" surely is just due to data error. Right?
posted by Stoatfarm at 2:14 PM on June 14, 2005

Stoatfarm, maybe one day they looked in a mirror and realized how bald they were and died of shock?
posted by Kickstart70 at 2:27 PM on June 14, 2005

Nice link Kika. Thanks.
posted by Hugh2d2 at 2:42 PM on June 14, 2005

This is somewhat sad, but I suppose it isn't surprising:

"Crime - Adults prosecuted
Crime - Adults prosecuted (per capita)
Crime - Believe in police efficiency
Crime - Females prosecuted
Crime - Females prosecuted (per capita)
Crime - Prisoners
Crime - Prisoners - Per capita
Crime - Total crimes"
posted by vorfeed at 2:59 PM on June 14, 2005

WOOOOO!
Ahem. Sorry, I saw "bottom rankings" and I, um....

*crickets*
We're last in assault by corrosive substance?
Is that reckoning in Sheriff Josh Acid?
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/88/88p.phtml
posted by Smedleyman at 4:38 PM on June 14, 2005

Argh! lousy work computer!
posted by Smedleyman at 4:38 PM on June 14, 2005

We're last in assault by corrosive substance?

That makes the sad fate of District Attorney Harvey Dent even more pitiable.
posted by Faint of Butt at 4:56 PM on June 14, 2005

The numbers for female ministers have me completely perplexed. I shall inquire within.
posted by cruelfate at 8:21 PM on June 14, 2005

Wait: mortality by "intentional self harm by blunt object"? People beat themselves to death? Damn, that is self-hatred; I'm clearly outclassed.
posted by davy at 10:16 PM on June 14, 2005

Another WTF goes for mortality from scabies. People die from scabies? Do the mites eat them entirely or what?
posted by davy at 10:25 PM on June 14, 2005

What I'm wondering is how you can die from lactose intolerance, and why it's most problematic in Nicaragua.
posted by baphomet at 11:20 PM on June 14, 2005

Cruelfate: I think it's for ministers in government-like prime ministers.
posted by slimslowslider at 1:42 AM on June 15, 2005

WOOOOO!
Ahem. Sorry, I saw "bottom rankings" and I, um....

You were thinking about Kylie Minogue, weren't you?

What I'm wondering is how you can die from lactose intolerance, and why it's most problematic in Nicaragua.

Because if you don't like milk in Nicaragua, they kill you.
posted by Enron Hubbard at 6:52 AM on June 15, 2005

The correlation between number of McDonalds and occurences of strangulations per nation is rather interesting too...
posted by 0bvious at 5:14 PM on June 16, 2005

I am proud that the UK is fourth-last in deaths from contact with a lawnmower. Proof we are still a great nation.
posted by Hogshead at 5:00 AM on June 20, 2005