Jessie's Bat Mitzvah

January 26, 2006 5:07 AM

Jessie's Bat Mitzvah - "All the ritches baby can't give me what your love can bring." (With Free Wallpaper!) (And there used to be a music video here).
posted by awesomebrad (33 comments total)

Just a vanity site for a 15 year old girl's bat mitzvah.

Domains are cheap and so is hosting. Nothing to see here, so move along. And beyond that ...

"This is not for you."
posted by grabbingsand at 5:20 AM on January 26, 2006

Did anyone else spot digital manipulations on the CD cover? Her braces magically disappeared!
posted by Mach5 at 5:24 AM on January 26, 2006

Specifically, a vanity site put together by her father, who is a professional planner of bar/bat mitzvahs. It's like a wedding planner having a fairy tale wedding. It's just good advertising.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:24 AM on January 26, 2006

And there used to be a music video here

the music video is the only thing worthwhile on the site. and it's still there.

read the source, luke.
posted by quonsar at 5:36 AM on January 26, 2006

I thought girls had batmitzvah's at 13.

Anyway, tacky -- yes, but she is only 13/15 whatever.
posted by delmoi at 5:48 AM on January 26, 2006

I hope this doesn't turn into another point-and-laugh.
posted by tpl1212 at 5:55 AM on January 26, 2006

Bar Mitzvah Disco
posted by Biblio at 5:58 AM on January 26, 2006

*points and laughs*
posted by thirteenkiller at 6:08 AM on January 26, 2006

To the best of my knowledge, I am the first female of my family in 5 generations.

So they've been reproducing with spores...?
posted by fleetmouse at 6:11 AM on January 26, 2006

The end of the video says that we've been officially invited. I'm just sayin.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:11 AM on January 26, 2006

"The BIG BOYS are the schizzle for Northshore mitzvah entertainment."

There is just something SO WRONG about that sentence.
posted by antifuse at 6:13 AM on January 26, 2006

Yeah, Bat Mizvahs usually are at 13, so this girl has been slacking off on her Judaica/Hebrew lessons. Or else all her friends had a bat mitzvah at 13, then she decided a little late in the game that she wanted one too, á la Veruca Salt.
posted by piratebowling at 6:20 AM on January 26, 2006

Also... Mefi meetup? Northbrook, IL, March 6? Let's go, party people! :)
posted by antifuse at 6:23 AM on January 26, 2006

Nice tat, Jessie. That's some good parenting.
posted by Mayor Curley at 6:31 AM on January 26, 2006

I take back what I said...this girl's still in the 7th grade, she's just behind all around.
posted by piratebowling at 6:38 AM on January 26, 2006

Mayor Curley
It's especially good Jewish parenting...oy.
posted by piratebowling at 6:40 AM on January 26, 2006

Note, it's not a real tattoo:

P.S. Jessie has no tattoos (just a washable one).
posted by antifuse at 6:43 AM on January 26, 2006

- marquee text
- blinking lights
- blinking text
- java
- jagged-edge images

No Flash?
posted by Armitage Shanks at 6:52 AM on January 26, 2006

No Flash?

Of course not. It would ruin the mid-to-late 90s HTML aesthetic that she has going on.
posted by deanc at 6:55 AM on January 26, 2006

I would like to point out that my Bar Mitzvah was a very modest affair. I think plastic cutlery may have been involved. But then again I wasn't a rich girl.

I would also like to point out that in the last sentence I typed "I wasn't a rich girl" as "I want a rich girl." Talk about Freudian Typos....
posted by sourwookie at 7:11 AM on January 26, 2006

Is anybody else disturbed by the idea of 13-year-olds "partying like rockstars?"

Not to worry. I'm the year 2025 I'm sure it'll be cute to have a Bat Mitzvah with a "porn star" theme.
posted by sourwookie at 7:12 AM on January 26, 2006

They already sell kids shirts that say "Future MILF".
posted by caddis at 7:27 AM on January 26, 2006

Lois: Well, they've got one that says "Porn Star" and another that says "Sperm Dumpster." And they're all written in glitter.

Meg: All right, all right. Give me "Sperm Dumpster."
posted by thanotopsis at 7:37 AM on January 26, 2006

Specifically, a vanity site put together by her father, who is a professional planner of bar/bat mitzvahs. It's like a wedding planner having a fairy tale wedding. It's just good advertising.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:24 AM PST on January 26

Yeah, nothing says good advertising like poorly constructed vanity sites with animated gifs flying across the screen and fake hit counters. Classy and effective.
posted by Optimus Chyme at 7:50 AM on January 26, 2006

I'm pointing, but not laughing. Is that rude?
posted by allen.spaulding at 7:53 AM on January 26, 2006

Why is this on MetaFilter?
posted by languagehat at 8:30 AM on January 26, 2006

I hope her parents don't disown her when she marries the Star Wars kid.
posted by Saucy Intruder at 8:31 AM on January 26, 2006

Whatever is on that page killed Firefox.
posted by deborah at 8:50 AM on January 26, 2006

where does it say that she's 15?
posted by quonsar at 8:56 AM on January 26, 2006

see also
posted by Saucy Intruder at 9:02 AM on January 26, 2006

And just what is wrong with pointing and laughing?
posted by 2sheets at 9:06 AM on January 26, 2006

best of the... no, i'm not even going to dignify this by asking.
it's just not.
posted by ab3 at 9:07 AM on January 26, 2006

also see also
posted by Armitage Shanks at 9:21 AM on January 26, 2006