German giant pyramid

September 9, 2007 8:51 AM

A German consortium has announced its plan to build the world's largest structure - a 578m-high "Giant Pyramid" where for €700 anyone can get a burial spot.
posted by stbalbach (34 comments total)

The pyramid idea has not been universally welcomed by residents in the next door village of Streetz. "We don't want to live next to the world's biggest graveyard," one inhabitant was quoted as saying last week.
posted by stbalbach at 8:53 AM on September 9, 2007

If I die in some grotesque way that does not allow for cryogenic freezing, this would be a good backup plan.
posted by champthom at 8:56 AM on September 9, 2007

Or, you know, next to a huge eyesore.
posted by The White Hat at 8:56 AM on September 9, 2007

It's kind of weird to be going after "largest" structure pissing contests with a graveyard... yuck.
posted by wangarific at 8:59 AM on September 9, 2007

Shipping the dead overseas is a terrible waste. Composting should start at home!
posted by furtive at 9:00 AM on September 9, 2007

Aha, finally an answer to "what to get the tasteless asshole who has everything?"
posted by mek at 9:01 AM on September 9, 2007

Das ist ein riesiges Dreieck!
posted by furtive at 9:02 AM on September 9, 2007

I've been advised to steer clear of pyramid schemes.
posted by Abiezer at 9:07 AM on September 9, 2007 [8 favorites]

I'm trying to think how they're going to build a 150-story tall pyramid built with nothing but lovingly hand-crafted stone.

IANAEngineer but it seems like the whole thing could easily crumble down on itself.
posted by Avenger at 9:08 AM on September 9, 2007

Love the fact that they have a Hindi section, hate the fact that it's all JPG images and not copy-pastable Unicode text. Yet another opportunity wasted.

That, and Abiezer ftw. This thread has officially ended.
posted by the cydonian at 9:13 AM on September 9, 2007

My first thought was that this is kind of silly, straight out of a cheap science fiction story. But the more I think about it, the better it seems. Except for the shipping the dead overseas, a giant mass memorial seems like a better way to deal with the dead than individual cemetery plots. The plan will probably fall apart once the administrative battles start between various religious groups.

"We don't want to live next to the world's biggest graveyard," one inhabitant was quoted as saying last week.

Betcha you will, once you get a whiff of those tourist euros.

And there's a village named Streetz? That's so dope!
posted by hydrophonic at 9:18 AM on September 9, 2007

CUUUUURSE!
posted by fuzzypantalones at 9:19 AM on September 9, 2007

This will never happen.
posted by blacklite at 9:21 AM on September 9, 2007

Isee dead people. In a pyramind.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:25 AM on September 9, 2007

I already bought my mummy a plot.
posted by carsonb at 9:25 AM on September 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

it's a trick. they say they're planning to sell individual gravesites, but it's really just for one person, maybe bill gates, so he can be entombed like a pharaoh.
posted by bruce at 9:25 AM on September 9, 2007

The Great Pyramid is designed as an organic project, which will grow only as paying customers die and are immortalised in stone.

So, it'll look even worse than you think, since it will be unfinished for a very long time.
posted by smackfu at 9:26 AM on September 9, 2007

it seems like the whole thing could easily crumble down on itself.

German engineering is obviously not up to Ancient Egyptian standards. Which gave me a terrible thought, wasn't the Great Pyramid of Giza built on the backs of Jewish slaves? Let the recriminations begin..
posted by stbalbach at 9:38 AM on September 9, 2007

if we blow up the pyramid we can kill all the zombies at once.
posted by Challahtronix at 9:41 AM on September 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Life imitates futurama. Hilarious.
posted by tehloki at 9:54 AM on September 9, 2007

Errr.... that should read "Life imitates Shadowrun. Creepy."
posted by tehloki at 9:55 AM on September 9, 2007

If I die in some grotesque way that does not allow for cryogenic freezing, this would be a good backup plan.

Hmmm...I'd say having your brain removed from your skull and flash-frozen is similarly grotesque. But I've made my views on cryogenics known on the blue before.
posted by Deathalicious at 11:16 AM on September 9, 2007

It's Omphalos! Watch out for the warbeiters.
posted by Freaky at 11:29 AM on September 9, 2007

One thing I note with interest is that for all the talk of custom colors, images, and relief decorations is that they don't mention that the vast majority of those who buy a plot in the pyramid will, by sheer physical necessity, be on the inside where the colors, images, etc will be completely invisible.

Of course, if you're trying to talk someone out of seven hundred clams, I suppose you'd downplay that fact...
posted by sotonohito at 1:24 PM on September 9, 2007

It says in their news blog:

No, we are not planning a „578 meter high pyramid“ as many writing about the project like to say. We´re planning to start building a memorial for people of all nations and religions that would constantly grow with every stone set. That is: It will be small first and then grow over a long time. While it rises, it will however always look like a pyramid – that´s why the ancient shape and not something new and fancy that would sit there for years looking half-built, half-abandoned. Technically, there´s not a lot of limitations, so the Great Pyramid could end up indeed being the size quoted.

So I imagine they plan to start with a small pyramid and stick on outer shells as people corpses are added. So your pretty outside monument stone is only visible until the next layer is slapped on.

How'm I supposed to pay my respects to Great-Great-Grandma if she's somewhere deep inside all those other stiffs? And I swear Granddad was here last year but I can't find him now - where'd he go?

"Mass grave" has some pretty unpleasant connotations - I wonder how well this idea will go over.
posted by Quietgal at 2:18 PM on September 9, 2007

Theoretically, it shouldn't cost more than a million or ten for someone to build a rocket sufficiently advanced to lovingly deposit a person's ashes on the moon.

IMO the moon is the coolest graveyard.
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 2:59 PM on September 9, 2007

Heywood Mogroot The moon is ok, but if I were going to spend a fortune on the disposal of my corpse I'd rather it was shot into the sun. After all, every atom in our bodies heavier than helium is the remnant of a star's death, so to return that mass to a star when we die has a certain sense of poetic completion.
posted by sotonohito at 4:18 PM on September 9, 2007

Yeah, I know the country has come a long way since WWII and all, but, a mass grave, in Germany?

No. No.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:08 PM on September 9, 2007

"You son of a bitch. You moved the cemetery, but you left the bodies, didn't you? You son of a bitch, you left the bodies and you only moved the head stones. You only moved the head stones. Why? Why?"
posted by ZachsMind at 5:58 PM on September 9, 2007

So I guess they'll do a drawing to see who who gets the gold sarcophagus and the lovely view of Sirius?
posted by washburn at 6:58 PM on September 9, 2007

Why don't they just convert the Ryugyong Hotel? It's already half built.
posted by banishedimmortal at 7:20 PM on September 9, 2007

When I die, I'd like to have my skull entombed in a pyramid, my torso buried, my limbs cremated and sent to the moon and my penis cooked and eaten by a cannibal pervert. Why not sample a little of everything from the smörgåsbord of death?
posted by L.P. Hatecraft at 9:50 PM on September 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

The zoning laws are gonna be a bitch
posted by Lex Tangible at 11:01 PM on September 9, 2007

Wouldn't be in Chicago. All those new voters…
posted by dragonsi55 at 6:25 AM on September 12, 2007