Then he pulls himself together and emerges as a better person.

October 3, 2014 6:33 AM

Adam Sandler Movie Plot Generator
posted by ChurchHatesTucker (21 comments total)

Adam Sandler becomes a big star on a comedic television show. He leaves the show to make dumb movies and fools around. He becomes a very wealthy man but empty inside. Then he pulls himself together and emerges as a better person. He also continues making dumb movies.
posted by davebush at 6:41 AM on October 3, 2014 [8 favorites]

I think the dynamic poster generation that matches the text is my favorite part.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 6:43 AM on October 3, 2014 [4 favorites]

"How about this: Adam Sandler is like, in love with some girl, but then it turns out that the girl is actually a golden retriever, or something."
"Oh, perfect! We'll call it 'Puppy Love!"
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 6:55 AM on October 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

Adam Sandler becomes a big star on a comedic television show. He leaves the show to make dumb movies and fools around. He becomes a very wealthy man but empty inside. Then he pulls himself together and emerges as a better person. He also continues making dumb movies.

This is more-or-less the plot of Funny People
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 7:18 AM on October 3, 2014 [3 favorites]

Thanks, but I already have a robot friend that does this for me.
posted by Muddler at 7:30 AM on October 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

Rob Schneider is A Carrot

Rated PG 13
posted by obscure simpsons reference at 7:36 AM on October 3, 2014

This will be handy for Netflix.
posted by Poldo at 7:40 AM on October 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

"Oh, perfect! We'll call it 'Puppy Love!"

"Punch-Drunk Billionaire!"
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 7:41 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

The poster is missing the supporting cast, which is always the same group of washed-up actor bros. I swear it's like they meet up for coffee then realize they can barely cover the tab, look at each other, sigh, then roshambo to see who calls Adam to guilt him into another film/allowance. I really enjoyed his earlier stuff but anything made after, say, Punch Drunk Love isn't even allowed in the house.
posted by bizwank at 8:14 AM on October 3, 2014

I'm pretty convinced by the theory (I think it's by that guy who did the super-long Star Wars prequel reviews in the weird voice) that at some point Adam Sandler realized he could take vacations with all of his friends but film an unbelievably shitty movie during it, and then not just get a free vacation but actually get paid millions of dollars to spend a month screwing around in Hawaii/Africa/wherever with his friends. As long as that's the case, I can see why he's stopped putting forth any effort whatsoever.

That's not to say that Happy Gilmore and Billy Madison were intense works of cinematic genius, but at least it seemed like someone cared about making them.
posted by Copronymus at 8:17 AM on October 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

Since he really never has to make movies ever again, I always assumed the frequency of which he made movies was some kind of tax write off while also taking vacations and acting as a charitable fund for washed up comics.
posted by The Whelk at 8:19 AM on October 3, 2014 [2 favorites]

One time when I was visiting, my family wanted to watch one of his films. I remember that I went from unamused to exasperated to annoyed, and by the end of it I was downright angry about having spent the time to watch it. I think I would have enjoyed two hours of staring at a wall more than I enjoyed watching that film.

I can't remember if that was the last of his films I ever saw or the second-to last; I think I might have seen Punch-Drunk Love afterwards. (It was good, but not good enough to convince me to watch another Adam Sandler film.)
posted by johnofjack at 8:31 AM on October 3, 2014

PUNCH DRUNK LOVE WAS WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY P. T. ANDERSON SANDLER IS JUST THE LEAD
posted by The Whelk at 8:38 AM on October 3, 2014 [5 favorites]

This is Adam Sandler to me, ALWAYS AND FOREVER.
posted by Lucinda at 9:34 AM on October 3, 2014

It makes me wonder if the new Netflix deal will just be another way to keep the random-movie-generation-as-personal-windfall-machine going.
posted by blucevalo at 9:40 AM on October 3, 2014

This clip of Adam Sandler on Brooklyn Nine-Nine seems relevant.
posted by artychoke at 9:47 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Adam Sandler is a filthy rich movie star, but one day he realizes that his movies suck because they are all generated by an Adam Sandler movie generator. He becomes a screenwriter and fools around at writing a unique and compelling screenplay until he realizes that if he succeeds it would mean he's just a character in another crappy Adam Sandler formula comedy. Then he and Rob Schneider sit on the side of the road and wait for Godot.
posted by haricotvert at 10:07 AM on October 3, 2014

In which Adam Sandler makes a classy period movie. OH WAIT.
posted by pxe2000 at 10:08 AM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

PUNCH DRUNK LOVE WAS WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY P. T. ANDERSON SANDLER IS JUST THE LEAD

Yes, I know that, thank you. Apparently it was unclear:

Adam Sandler is the fingernails on the chalkboard of my soul.

I watched Punch-Drunk Love in spite of that. It was good--but after the other films I'd seen Sandler in, it was not good enough to risk trying another.

If Adam Sandler starred in a film directed by Spike Jonze from a script by Charlie Kaufman, produced by Vince Gilligan and lensed by Roger Deakins, with music by Carter Burwell, I'd still stop to think a bit about whether I wanted to watch it.
posted by johnofjack at 11:55 AM on October 3, 2014 [5 favorites]

Oh johnofjack, I'm finding it hard to express how much I agree with you. Therefore I'll let this poster talk for me. Look at him. Can't even act convincingly for the, what, 1/30th of a second required to capture the photo. Awful, awful actor.
posted by punilux at 1:51 PM on October 3, 2014 [1 favorite]

Adam Sandler's "serious" acting has always creeped me out. When he's trying to act sincere, he always seems just a little bit disingenuous, like he can't quite rid his visage of feelings of his own superiority. Or something like that. Anyway, it's visceral and I can't shake it.
posted by Mental Wimp at 2:11 PM on October 3, 2014