#MajorAnnouncement

December 15, 2022 11:18 AM

Collect Them All! The elderly man from Florida has learned about NFTs and hired someone to work miracles with Photoshop. We were promised a "Major Announcement." Apparently this was it.
posted by hydra77 (124 comments total)

I couldn't risk it, so I opened the website in a private window. First laughter, then disgust, then sighs of resignation knowing there are suckers who will absolutely pay money for this.
posted by hydra77 at 11:22 AM on December 15, 2022 [7 favorites]

Well, I know what I'm getting everyone for Christmas now.
posted by mittens at 11:23 AM on December 15, 2022 [8 favorites]

Always about the grift. Always always always.
posted by Capt. Renault at 11:24 AM on December 15, 2022 [24 favorites]

surely this
posted by clawsoon at 11:25 AM on December 15, 2022 [8 favorites]

Super strong Homelander vibe in all this. I mean, even the fire eyes.
posted by chavenet at 11:25 AM on December 15, 2022 [10 favorites]

It's been a long time since I've been able to crack a smile at Trump's antics. But every so often, he can still surprise me. It's just so childlike. But then, fascism is, really, although "adolescent" is perhaps a better term.
posted by Countess Elena at 11:26 AM on December 15, 2022 [14 favorites]

It's genuinely impressive how little the denizens of trumpworld bother to hide their contempt for their marks. At some point they'll be selling off the man's used underwear and bath water. They will make a fortune.
posted by thatwhichfalls at 11:26 AM on December 15, 2022 [9 favorites]

I've been wondering how Melania Trump's NFTs have gone. They want badly in February; she bought her own NFT possibly fraudulently. Whatever company contracted with her is still making new issues. CNN had an update in late August noting how weird it is for a former First Lady to be shilling a product like this. Also that it's not clear what became of the commitment to charity she made as part of the whole NFT thing.

Reminder that Trump Steaks was a real thing. Well not really real, as far as anyone knows they never actually shipped any steak. But it was a product he marketed.
posted by Nelson at 11:29 AM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

At the far right, clunky old website I lurk at, they are mostly not happy. As in "I'm for Desantis now, this guy is a loser, who can even afford this in this economy...." not happy. A few diehards love it. But most of them are unimpressed and mocking him.

Today is a good day.
posted by vrakatar at 11:30 AM on December 15, 2022 [17 favorites]

To be fair, this was the best of all possible outcomes.
posted by phunniemee at 11:30 AM on December 15, 2022 [9 favorites]

How is this not an SNL skit?
posted by lock robster at 11:31 AM on December 15, 2022 [5 favorites]

It's like a tarot deck only every card is The Devil.
posted by mittens at 11:36 AM on December 15, 2022 [40 favorites]

How is this not an SNL skit?

No kidding. It shouldn't take more than a couple hours to bang out a quick commercial from the Franklin Mint doing an entire series of these back a couple hundred years.
posted by Cris E at 11:37 AM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

LoL
posted by OHenryPacey at 11:38 AM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

Don't laugh. This is just like purchasing truckloads of a political hack's ghost written book to skirt tax and campaign finance laws. It's a conduit for money to Trump, and I have no doubt the Russian mob is "purchasing" these NFTs right now.Hell, it's more convenient this way because you don't have to take receipt of the books.
posted by ocschwar at 11:39 AM on December 15, 2022 [46 favorites]

Myrna Tellingheusen on Twitter

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! My official Myrna Tellingheusen Digital Trading Card collection is here! These limited edition cards feature amazing ART of my life & career as executive secretary to Stanley Bogenshoots at Hughes Aircraft! Only $99 each! Would make a Christmas gift.

[Photo of Myrna]

posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 11:42 AM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

The party of Lincoln
posted by gauche at 11:42 AM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

How is that #MajorAnnouncement video not a deepfake?

The real Tr*mp would never have authorized a superhero image with a smaller bulge than Homelander's.
posted by flabdablet at 11:42 AM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

oh right no, I was sure they would turn a profit somehow, whether from homegrown fools or money laundering. I don't discount the homegrown, though. Not long ago there was a story of a couple who presented a golden Trump bill in the full expectation that it was legal tender. I can't find it now because Google only returns results with ads for buying your own Trump bills.
posted by Countess Elena at 11:44 AM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

Black-tie (Optional) luxury event held in Florida. President Donald Trump will be hosting an extraordinary evening for lucky Donald Trump Collectible holders.

"Show me where it says I have to wear pants. That's your rule, not mine. What happened to my freedoms?"
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 11:47 AM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

Still not as good as Chia Trump. (for certain values of "good")
posted by escape from the potato planet at 11:48 AM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

these trump cards

do they accept slurp juices?
posted by Phobos the Space Potato at 11:53 AM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

Super strong Homelander vibe in all this. I mean, even the fire eyes.

Many fans of The Boys have accepted for a while now that Homelander's characterization was partially modeled on 45. The real debate was whether it should be considered more of an insult to 45 or to Homelander. Perhaps now we have an answer.
posted by fuse theorem at 11:53 AM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

I am reminded more than a little of the god emperor trump action figure, except that was a one-off fan creation. Remember, the word "fan" comes from "fanatic".
posted by adamrice at 11:54 AM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

There's so much to latch onto here, but I want to point to the sheer half-assed shittiness of these prizes.

Win an hour of golf with Trump? That's not even enough time to play a round. In the fine print:

It will be at a date and time to be determined by Sponsor in its sole discretion, but we will give at least 30 days’ notice to plan your trip. All costs and expenses associated with the Live Events made available to NFT owners including, but not limited to, all federal, state, and local taxes, air and ground transportation, gratuities, airline luggage charges, incidentals, upgrades, insurance, service charges, and other misc. travel expenses are the sole and exclusive responsibility of those that attend the Live Events.

44,000 of these at $99 apiece is 4.3 million dollars, plus the 10% royalty every time someone resells one of these, but when your moral compass is to never leave a dime on the table...
posted by box at 11:55 AM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

I am reminded more than a little of the god emperor trump action figure,

Gotta admit I was hoping for something a little more vermiform. More Leto-II.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 12:04 PM on December 15, 2022 [8 favorites]

hahahahahahaha

he's soooooooo jealous of dark brandon
posted by adept256 at 12:05 PM on December 15, 2022 [14 favorites]

Worst Pokemon ever.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 12:24 PM on December 15, 2022 [11 favorites]

"No Purchase Necessary"?

So if we flood them with requests for the cards, and then somehow automate the process, we can get thousands of Trump NFTs for free, like Lazlo Hollyfeld from Real Genius?

If you are a person who makes websites, set this up, please.
posted by zardoz at 12:28 PM on December 15, 2022 [5 favorites]

"All you need is an email address."

I can't shake the feeling that this is just a stratified lead generation tool. Find ten thousand suckers who are willing to pay into this obvious ridiculousness, and you've got yourself ten thousand confirmed and vetted suckers who would be willing to fall over themselves to pay you even more in the future.
posted by mochapickle at 12:28 PM on December 15, 2022 [19 favorites]

the laser eyes one - it looks like he's giving himself a wedgy

i can't stop laughing
posted by adept256 at 12:31 PM on December 15, 2022

His announcement video is amazing: self-described as "better than Lincoln, better than Washington." Words fail me.
posted by nushustu at 12:35 PM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

On twitter, Mary Trump, psychologist: 'omfg'
posted by Capt. Renault at 12:35 PM on December 15, 2022 [16 favorites]

apparently, the white fungus that has been eating away at his brain is now starting to show up around his eyes

ok, maybe not, but seriously, this guy looks like a half-resuscitated corpse - he is not well
posted by pyramid termite at 12:40 PM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

On twitter, Mary Trump, psychologist: 'omfg'

We were warned.

Donald Trump has a “dangerous mental illness” and is not fit to lead the US, a group of psychiatrists has warned during a conference at Yale University.
posted by Brian B. at 12:41 PM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

Countess Elena, here
posted by Clowder of bats at 12:42 PM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

I expected more from humanity, honestly I did
posted by elkevelvet at 12:45 PM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

Since when was Trump part of humanity?
posted by Splunge at 12:48 PM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

I look forward to hearing who they stole the art from.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 12:49 PM on December 15, 2022 [13 favorites]

Obama commemorative plates only cost $19.99 and you got an actual plate
posted by Gerald Bostock at 12:54 PM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

So he's playing his .... Trump card?!
posted by chavenet at 12:56 PM on December 15, 2022 [21 favorites]

I kind of want to buy one and sell it to a greater fool for $10,000 a few weeks from now.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 12:57 PM on December 15, 2022

You might want that less when you learn that Trump will get 10% of the sale.
posted by box at 12:59 PM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

The Villages People
posted by AJaffe at 1:02 PM on December 15, 2022 [11 favorites]

(Oh, and the artist is apparently someone named Clark Mitchell (first link IG, second NSFW if your workplace frowns on areolae).)
posted by box at 1:03 PM on December 15, 2022

and right after Trump's post, Joe Biden's media team trolls him with a Facebook post of their own:

I had some MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENTS the last couple of weeks, too…
- Inflation's easing
- I just signed the Respect for Marriage Act
- We brought Brittney Griner home
- Gas prices are lower than a year ago
- 10,000 new high-paying jobs in Arizona
posted by martin q blank at 1:06 PM on December 15, 2022 [37 favorites]

I can't get over how so many of his followers refuse to admit that he's an overweight septuagenarian and so always photoshop him to make it look like he's buff AF, except for his head, for some reason

(I also have a pet peeve where people drawing caricatures of him ALWAYS depict a wild thick mane of blond hair instead of drawing an obvious dyed combover. He has a thin veil of tortuously-glued-down hair desperately trying to cover his baldness, don't boost his ego by pretending it's anywhere near an actual head of hair.)
posted by caution live frogs at 1:06 PM on December 15, 2022 [12 favorites]

I also have a pet peeve where people drawing caricatures of him ALWAYS depict a wild thick mane of blond hair instead of drawing an obvious dyed combover.

YES. I have literally written this complaint on editorial cartoonists' Facebook posts. To no avail, apparently.
posted by martin q blank at 1:08 PM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

Biden throwin' some shade! :D (edited to add - just realized that martin q blank beat me to this announcement)
posted by hydra77 at 1:09 PM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

> Reminder that Trump Steaks was a real thing. Well not really real, as far as anyone knows they never actually shipped any steak. But it was a product he marketed.

I'm sure they were crappy steaks, but at least they were actual steaks you could eat and convert what nutrients and calories they did have into energy. These fucking things? For $99 EACH? lolllllllllllll
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:19 PM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

Bitten by a radioactive orange and given the power of INFINITE UNACCOUNTABILITY!!!!

That's his superpower. Every fucking time. He just keeps getting away with it again and again. This is probably a money laundering scam, and he'll get away with this too.

I'm 35 years younger than him. That's the only hope I have left. Time will take care of him.
posted by adept256 at 1:22 PM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

Seth Abramson has some cards of his own.
posted by box at 1:23 PM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

Trump in catgirl outfit all proceeds benefit Furry Rights.
posted by symbioid at 1:27 PM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

Never underestimate the depths humanity will sink to in service of evil. The monster is here, and it is us
posted by Jacen at 1:28 PM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

Donald Trump has a “dangerous mental illness”

I prefer the old days when psychiatrists didn't diagnose celebrities and other people who weren't their patients. And even putting aside whatever unfairness this characterization does to genuine mental illness, how does this even seem like mental illness? It is not mentally ill to want money for nothing. Or power or adulation or attention. Moral corruption is not mental illness.
posted by Wood at 1:38 PM on December 15, 2022 [8 favorites]

FYI, this announcement has not gone over so well with the faithful. Lots of grumbling and a surprising amount of outright hostility in the right wing forums where I sometimes lurk. I've been burned too many times trying to predict that Trump had hit his ceiling, but he definitely has the stink of a loser on him and it's going to be hard to steer out of that.
posted by Banky_Edwards at 1:59 PM on December 15, 2022 [15 favorites]

I am irked, because these are too close in name to an innocent card game of my childhood, Top Trumps
posted by scruss at 1:59 PM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

I've been burned too many times trying to predict that Trump had hit his ceiling, but he definitely has the stink of a loser on him and it's going to be hard to steer out of that.

I want him to remain just popular enough to be an effective spoiler for a DeSantis presidential run when the time comes, but he's losing altitude too quickly. He's already skipping rallies. He loooooooved rallies. Pull yourself together, DJT.
posted by mochapickle at 2:03 PM on December 15, 2022 [20 favorites]

I want him to remain just popular enough to be an effective spoiler for a DeSantis presidential run when the time comes, but he's losing altitude too quickly. He's already skipping rallies. He loooooooved rallies. Pull yourself together, DJT.

Careful what you wish for. It's easy to laugh at the ridiculousness of the virile images, but would any of us, really, be shocked if he went into seclusion for 6 months and returned, 30 years younger, 100 lbs thinner and shooting laser beams out of his eyes? Even with the obvious tick in his left eye and the fact that he will only speak German, he'll be their miracle darling once again. All of that NFT and grift money is surely going into a lab somewhere that's going to actually make him into homelander.
posted by OHenryPacey at 2:17 PM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

I prefer the old days when psychiatrists didn't diagnose celebrities and other people who weren't their patients.

I get that.. but when you're the president of the US your sanity is everyone's business. Especially when that president acts like he has a personality disorder.
posted by Liquidwolf at 2:24 PM on December 15, 2022 [13 favorites]

Since when was Trump part of humanity?

Let me be clear: I never imagined that this confluence of malignant greed and narcissistic cruelty, this horror clown show, would culminate in December of 2022, to (this)

There are any number of stupid and/or cruel and/or wrong things happening at this moment in time, my imagination just failed to conjure this combination of things not 7 years ago. Trump is very much a part of humanity and that is the fucking problem, isn't it
posted by elkevelvet at 2:29 PM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

"No Purchase Necessary"?
So if we flood them with requests for the cards, and then somehow automate the process, we can get thousands of Trump NFTs for free, like Lazlo Hollyfeld from Real Genius?
If you are a person who makes websites, set this up, please.
I had the same thought, but the rules make it a little awkward and expensive:
Must be:
- hard copy
- handwritten
- posted to an address in New York
- enclose a stamped self-addressed envelope in which your code will be posted to you.
There is also a limit of 100 entries per household although, if they're handwritten, I find it hard to believe they're tracking that.
posted by dg at 2:32 PM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

It's diappointing to see fat-shaming on MetaFilter, once again.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 2:34 PM on December 15, 2022 [11 favorites]

I had to go back and watch the announcement video again. He looks so bored.

He sold beans more convincingly.
posted by mochapickle at 2:35 PM on December 15, 2022

Fools and their money are soon parted...
posted by jim in austin at 2:36 PM on December 15, 2022

Tragic: The Gathering
posted by the duck by the oboe at 2:39 PM on December 15, 2022 [9 favorites]

The last FAQ on the page: "These Digital Trading Cards are not political and have nothing to do with any political campaign. NFT INT LLC is not owned, managed or controlled by Donald J. Trump, The Trump Organization, CIC Digital LLC or any of their respective principals or affiliates. NFT INT LLC uses Donald J. Trump's name, likeness and image under paid license from CIC Digital LLC, which license may be terminated or revoked according to its terms."

What does that mean? Obviously he has a stake in them. He gives a whole video on the site about how awesome they are. Does it just mean that NFT INT LLC is another entity owned by him?
posted by hydra77 at 2:50 PM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

There's a possible world in which Donald Trump never ran for president but still had these exact NFTs created (without the '45' references) and I'm able to just feel pure delight in how batshit crazy these things are.

I wish I lived there.
posted by straight at 2:54 PM on December 15, 2022 [5 favorites]

Since he announced his campaign, campaign finance rules apply. So his scams have to be separate and distinct.

I'm 100% sure this is a money laundering scam anyway. They make it clear that you can pay with crypto.

Does this even need to be said? The scammiest scammer is scamming another scammy scam. Ducks go quack, cows go moo, donald does scams.
posted by adept256 at 2:57 PM on December 15, 2022 [13 favorites]

This is just like purchasing truckloads of a political hack's ghost written book to skirt tax and campaign finance laws.

Since he announced his campaign, campaign finance rules apply. So his scams have to be separate and distinct.

"All you need is an email"

I tried to buy an official MAGA hat from the shop in the basement of Trump Tower in 2016 for a documentary project I was working on and you needed to provide proof of citizenship because the purchase was technically a campaign donation. You had to fill out paperwork that the clerk would verify from your US government-issued ID. I didn't do it because I was a journalist covering the campaign and didn't want to appear on a list of donors, but at least then there was an attempt to follow campaign finance laws.
posted by msbrauer at 3:34 PM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

I mean, I get it, the "cards" are in a visual medium, so some of this thread is going to be comments about Trump's appearance. I'm fat, I have dear friends that are fat, or are losing their hair, etc. There's something so intrinsically pathetic about this, and plenty that is awful about Trump himself, that we shouldn't have to insult Trump because his body is what it is.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 3:45 PM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

At some point they'll be selling off the man's used underwear and bath water

... as relics.
posted by Iris Gambol at 3:50 PM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

or emetics
posted by mochapickle at 3:58 PM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

The guy drew cartoon muscles on himself, that's the pitiful thing. This is the guy that put on the feast of cheeseburgers and tore up Michelle's vegetable patch. It's the same as the sharpie on the hurricane map. He's lying again and being ridiculous about it. Be ridiculous, get ridiculed.
posted by adept256 at 3:59 PM on December 15, 2022 [6 favorites]

There has to be some way to flip this against him. Summon the TikTok kids!
posted by aramaic at 4:18 PM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

At a high-falutin' gathering of academic library administrators this week, one or more of the conference organizers thought it was a fine idea to have a panel on NFTs and libraries (Monday 12/12, 2:45 pm if you want to look it up).

I. Don't even know. What has happened to my profession. Some days. But I sure don't like it.

I do at least have one friend who was there who is going to use the feedback form to give them every kind of hell about this.
posted by humbug at 4:37 PM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

Whacky Packs!
posted by clavdivs at 4:40 PM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

Can somebody explain what this page means? I came across it while reading about this story, but don’t really know enough about either NFTs or crypto to decipher it.
posted by box at 4:46 PM on December 15, 2022

I prefer the old days when psychiatrists didn't diagnose celebrities and other people who weren't their patients. And even putting aside whatever unfairness this characterization does to genuine mental illness, how does this even seem like mental illness? It is not mentally ill to want money for nothing. Or power or adulation or attention. Moral corruption is not mental llness.

They didn't diagnose him per se, but it is more than a case of just bending their own rules as expert witnesses (and perhaps as authors of the guidelines themselves) because if the guidelines are intended to be ethical guidelines, then they fall on a continuum where some harms outweigh the good intentions of the guidelines. Knowledge entails responsibilities. As for moral corruption, the prevailing diagnosis is psychopathy, which is here, and the list of traits include all sorts of corruptions, moral and otherwise, found here. Note that it was recently reported that a CEO may reflect this pattern more than any other occupation.

Roughly 4% to as high as 12% of CEOs exhibit psychopathic traits, according to some expert estimates, many times more than the 1% rate found in the general population and more in line with the 15% rate found in prisons.
posted by Brian B. at 4:52 PM on December 15, 2022 [3 favorites]

(Thank you for that "man from Florida" phrasing, hydra77; hoping it catches on.)
posted by Iris Gambol at 5:08 PM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

box, your OpenSEA link is a popular NFT marketplace for trading NFTs. It shows the $99 Trump NFTs changing hands for about $70 (US). I can't tell you why the price is under the new price.

There's a couple of pages for Melania's NFTs (from February) but they show no trading volume of any note. The new Donald NFTs have a bit of activity.
posted by Nelson at 5:10 PM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

I've seen enough real crime docos to know the FBI has criminologists that tell investigators what kind of person to look for when they keep finding bodies. The ethics of remote pathology are mitigated by the fact that bodies keep appearing on the side of the road and they need to stop the murderer.

The guy did a fucking coup. He's a crook. I think that makes him fair game for criminal pathologizing.
posted by adept256 at 5:16 PM on December 15, 2022 [13 favorites]

FYI, this announcement has not gone over so well with the faithful. Lots of grumbling and a surprising amount of outright hostility in the right wing forums where I sometimes lurk. I've been burned too many times trying to predict that Trump had hit his ceiling, but he definitely has the stink of a loser on him and it's going to be hard to steer out of that.

Part of it is the obvious greed and desperation behind this.

Part of it is that the hardcore nuts saw "MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT TOMORROW" and were so sure that it meant that the Storm Has Arrived, military tribunals are underway, the entire Biden family and Clinton family and Obama family are on their way to Gitmo, and the 2020 election and all other Democrat-won elections have been overturned. Surely this time their faithfulness would be rewarded! Q be praised!

Part of it is that there was no nudity.
posted by delfin at 6:26 PM on December 15, 2022 [14 favorites]

Golly!

With all the 'portraits' I've done of TFG I should be getting in on this gold rush too!
posted by Phlegmco(tm) at 6:49 PM on December 15, 2022 [10 favorites]

What does that mean? Obviously he has a stake in them.

It usually means that he has licensed the Trump name and brand to that company to use his likeness and whatever else.

As I understand it that what most of "his" Trump hotels all over the world are. Real estate companies giving him a taste in exchange for being able to slap his name on it.
posted by VTX at 7:07 PM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

This is the first step to selling self embossed lock blades on cable T.V.
posted by clavdivs at 7:37 PM on December 15, 2022 [2 favorites]

Nature is healing.
posted by mochapickle at 7:40 PM on December 15, 2022 [5 favorites]

Roughly 4% to as high as 12% of CEOs exhibit psychopathic traits, according to some expert estimates, many times more than the 1% rate found in the general population and more in line with the 15% rate found in prisons.
Well, the only difference between those in prison and many CEOs is that they haven't been caught yet.

Part of it is that there was no nudity.
How do I get rid of the mental picture that nudity related to a trump announcement brings?
posted by dg at 7:54 PM on December 15, 2022

I love the way he's either all muscled up or slim (like Biden, lol). Is this a long game so he can plead mental incompetence in a trial? because this is so deluded and grandiose.
posted by theora55 at 8:08 PM on December 15, 2022 [1 favorite]

He's fat-shaming himself, I guess?
posted by clawsoon at 8:10 PM on December 15, 2022 [4 favorites]

Somehow they're still not as bad as the Bored Apes.
posted by straight at 9:01 PM on December 15, 2022 [5 favorites]

Dang... Sold out already....
posted by Hicksu at 12:04 AM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

I love the way he's either all muscled up or slim (like Biden, lol).

I scrolled through a bunch of them, and he honestly looks fairly Biden-like in more than a few. Weirder and weirder.
posted by Literaryhero at 12:23 AM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

oof. I clicked the first link and now I feel dirty. is my computer dirty now?
posted by mumimor at 12:49 AM on December 16, 2022

Ok, but is he wrestling or riding a bear in any of these? Cuz that's tempting
posted by Jacen at 1:02 AM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

I scrolled through a bunch of them, and he honestly looks fairly Biden-like in more than a few. Weirder and weirder.

I haven't seen them all, but there is one where he is wearing aviator sunglasses and I would swear that they used Biden's face as the basis for the photoshop. What a buffoon.

At this point I am almost hoping that the Justice Department (and the state of Georgia, and, and, and) wait longer before charging him with anything, since he is doing so much damage to the GOP and helping them lose elections.

It's echoing the constant stream of memes from 2015-2020 which photoshopped or drew him as a muscular guy. Didn't see too many of those after January 2021, but it used to be a mainstay on places like FB. I'd see it all the time from my MAGA relatives.

The number of Trump flags I see now is a fraction of what it was then, but every so often someone will drive by with one of those flags where Trump's head is photoshopped onto Rambo holding an M-60. It looks ridiculous but maybe it is a satisfying fantasy fulfillment.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:59 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

There's now a suggestion that the clothing used in the images was scraped off the web. It would be hilarious if they had to be withdrawn due to copyright violation.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 6:42 AM on December 16, 2022 [4 favorites]

Trump NFT Collection Sells Out, Price Surges . 45,000 sold at the issue price of $99 each, Trump's grift made $4.5M. Kinda struck by how little that money is for a nation's dignity.

Here's a view of recent third party sales of the trading cards, the OpenSea link box first shared. They're now trading for about $200-$250 a piece. OpenSea says there's about $1.2M total in transactions so far, so about 12,000 sales at the nominal $99 value (fewer if the price has gone up).

That's all looking like a normal collectible; initial issue sells out, price goes up in the secondary market. OTOH this is cryptocurrency and Trumpworld so it's just as likely most of the activity is fraud. Either using stolen money or wash sales to inflate the price. No real way to know, have to check back in a year to see if these things have any lasting value.

Looking at these OpenSea issues it's remarkable how banal the art is. The reused-poses-on-generic-backgrounds design really stands out. They could have at least paid someone to do decent art. Then again these are NFTs, being ugly is part of the thing.
posted by Nelson at 6:51 AM on December 16, 2022 [3 favorites]

They should've gotten Andy Thomas to paint the cards. Or at the very least, Jon McNaughton! At least those guys know what he looks like, mostly!
posted by mittens at 7:01 AM on December 16, 2022

The thing I always think, when I get those nigerian prince scam emails where everything is absurdly badly misspelled and so on, is that they've DELIBERATELY made it that embarrassingly dumb. They're trying to screen out anybody with even the tiniest trace of skepticism. If you have any critical faculties at all, it's a waste of their time to talk to you; the serious con men only want to deal with the serious suckers. That, I think, is the principle that we see in action here.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 7:01 AM on December 16, 2022 [6 favorites]

No fucking way they are sold out by demand. This is phase two of the grift.
posted by adept256 at 7:05 AM on December 16, 2022 [5 favorites]

Of course not, because if they go up in value on the secondary market then Trump doesn't get a cut.
posted by Gelatin at 7:34 AM on December 16, 2022

From the FAQ:

On each secondary sale of a Trump Digital Trading Card, there will be a 10% royalty on the sale price that will be paid back to the creator.

Trump is getting a 10% cut on the secondary market. This is a common feature of NFTs.
posted by adept256 at 7:44 AM on December 16, 2022 [4 favorites]

Silly me, thinking that NFTs might be less scam-tastic than other collectibles.
posted by Gelatin at 8:03 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

That said, if surplus NFTs were "sold out" to an entity Trump controls, he forgoes the 10% but gets 100% of the markup price, right?
posted by Gelatin at 8:05 AM on December 16, 2022

It's such a flawless self-parody that it can't be parodied. Genuinely impressive.
posted by whuppy at 8:10 AM on December 16, 2022 [1 favorite]

I'm laughing at just how comically bad these are. Like, they can't even manage to find someone who has spent more than five minutes learning Photoshop?

Like, I was seriously expecting one to be just a poorly-hashed meme template
MAGA
(bad 'shop of TFG)
BOTTOM TEXT
posted by xedrik at 8:54 AM on December 16, 2022

Bet the person who did the photoshop got stiffed on the contract...just like all the other contractors.
posted by Oh_Bobloblaw at 9:12 AM on December 16, 2022 [4 favorites]

→ enclose a stamped self-addressed envelope

They're going to steam off the stamps* and resell them, I just know it.

---
*: yes, I know you can't steam off peel-and-stick stamps, but there must be a new equivalent technology
posted by scruss at 9:32 AM on December 16, 2022

I'm laughing at just how comically bad these are. Like, they can't even manage to find someone who has spent more than five minutes learning Photoshop?

The more I think about it, I'm convinced that the terribleness of these was intentional, not accidental. (Though I am not sure that the resemblance to Biden in one or two of them was intentional.) Basically, the point made in the comment by Sink or Swim above, pointing out how the low quality helps select for the right kind of gullible mark.

What I don't think was intentional was all the derision this received, including from a lot of right wing commentators.
posted by Dip Flash at 9:49 AM on December 16, 2022

Stephen Colbert's monologues are a cut above other late night hosts. He takes on Trump cards.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 9:59 AM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

Trump offers you $$$ to photoshop some cards for him. How dumb do you have to be to take that job?

Ok, Trump offers $ up front and promises to pay $$$ after he receives the cards. How hard do you work on that project?
posted by straight at 10:29 AM on December 16, 2022

I wonder how many old MAGA grandpas who used to collect baseball cards when they were kids bought some of these and are expecting to receive a pack of actual cards in the mail.
posted by essexjan at 11:56 AM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

How many old MAGA grandpas have an active bitcoin wallet ?
posted by Pendragon at 12:02 PM on December 16, 2022

From the website:

Can I buy Trump Digital Trading Cards with my credit card?

Yes, we’ve made it so you can buy our Donald Trump Digital Trading Cards with your credit card! We’ve made the entire purchase process as easy as making any other purchase online.


So, yeah, I think there's probably going to be quite a few disappointed old men who don't quite understand what they've just spent $99 on.
posted by essexjan at 12:12 PM on December 16, 2022 [4 favorites]

I am not a fan of Bitcoin and other Cryptocurrencies, which are not money, and whose value is highly volatile and based on thin air. Unregulated Crypto Assets can facilitate unlawful behavior, including drug trade and other illegal activity....

@realDonaldTrump, 5:15 PM · Jul 11, 2019
posted by kirkaracha at 2:15 PM on December 16, 2022 [2 favorites]

If you spent $4,455 on stupid, sold out Trump NFTs you are "guaranteed" a ticket to a gala dinner with Trump. Buried in one of 3 lengthy terms of service documents is that they have the right to offer you an alternate prize, at their discretion.

The alternate prize for the gala? Another NFT.
posted by clawsoon at 9:04 AM on December 17, 2022 [1 favorite]

The Trump NFTs appear to be based on stolen images.
posted by jamjam at 9:37 AM on December 17, 2022 [3 favorites]

Because of course they are.
posted by flabdablet at 9:40 AM on December 17, 2022

Which has led me to notice that many of the photoshops use the same face.

The way a lot of these stupid NFT projects work, they take take several dozen interchangeable elements that they can remix in random combinations to generate thousands of "unique" pictures. (Here's a bored ape with sunglasses and red hair and a gold earring. Here's a bored ape with laser eyes and a blond mohawk and earmuffs. Here's a bored ape with sunglasses and a blond mohawk and earbuds.) Looks like they did a similar thing with Trump's NFTs.
posted by straight at 10:19 AM on December 17, 2022

OpenSea indicates the price has doubled since I last looked, going for about $450 now. These prices may or may not be real; a lot of NFT markets are highly manipulated with fraudulent bids and transactions.
posted by Nelson at 11:21 AM on December 17, 2022

The Tr*mp money laundering cycle: spin, rinse, wash.
posted by flabdablet at 9:07 AM on December 19, 2022

How do I get rid of the mental picture that nudity related to a trump announcement brings?

Visualize Elon Musk at Tanagra When the Pants Fell.
posted by y2karl at 12:11 PM on December 19, 2022 [1 favorite]

If these were Ron DeSantis images they would all be various miracles of Jesus.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 6:30 PM on December 23, 2022