But I don't have a thing to wear!

October 6, 2023 7:22 AM

Do costumes during Spooky Season stress you out? Fear not! Here are three really gigantic lists of costume ideas, many of which start with things you may already have around the house. 77 LAST-MINUTE HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEAS THAT YOU CAN DIY IN A SNAP from Best Products is full of springboards, often with shopping links that you could ignore. 76 Easy Last-Minute Halloween Costumes to DIY or Buy from Country Living also is full of creative ideas and several options to just buy a thing. Finally, 120 Best Last-Minute Halloween Costumes That Are Super Easy to DIY from The Pioneer Woman is yet another list of ideas. Many of these costumes regardless of model gender are entirely genderless. There are instruction links for many of these over 250 costume ideas, so scroll, click, and play dress up!

There are plenty of these costumes that want you to buy a thing but maybe you can substitute a thing or thrift shop a thing or hand make a thing... There's such a fest of costume ideas here, surely anyone stuck for an idea has plenty of time between now and the end of the month to come up with something.

posted by hippybear (46 comments total)

My best costume was the time I reused a maid of honor dress to go as a zombie wedding guest. My friend Will joined in the fun and got a thrift store suit and went as my zombie wedding date. We placed at a costume contest at a local bar! Best reuse of a dress that I had no other reason to wear again.
posted by Kitteh at 7:30 AM on October 6, 2023 [3 favorites]

I have a limit of not spending more than 5-10 bucks for a costume. I have a couple of nice silk Kurta-pajama sets. Bought a cheap Pirate set (do-rag+eyepatch+earhoop) and costume Fez hat. Now I go as an Old Turk (pun on the Young Turk) or an Indian Software Pirate (Wear CD's as a doubloon necklace).

Plus I use the Fez when I go to see Lil Ed and the Blues Imperials. His fans (like me) call ourselves Ed-heads and wear a fez to his shows, as he wears one too (since he is really short). And he usually acknowledges us in the crowd.
posted by indianbadger1 at 7:52 AM on October 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

I noticed that a long green shirt I already own, plus a long vest I was already planning to get, could be the basis for a great Professor Trelawney costume. I'd just have to add a crapton of my chunky necklaces and one of my scarves, and a skirt from Goodwill.

...Well, and a wig. The glasses I got free from my Buy Nothing group already.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:04 AM on October 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

Oh, the best thing of all about Professor Trelawney - I can wear long underwear under that costume and STAY WARM.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:05 AM on October 6, 2023 [2 favorites]

A lot of my friends are being Weird Barbie which basically just needs a pink dress and some mascara circles on your face.
posted by joannemerriam at 8:14 AM on October 6, 2023 [6 favorites]

I've never really gotten into Halloween costuming, which seems like a shame because I have the art and needlework skills to make damn near anything. My costume ideas have not been very orginal or involved. I've gone as a sheriff (suede shirt, jeans, cowboy hat, toy badge and gun from the dollar store), Velma from Scooby Doo, Little Red Riding Hood (red cloak and toy stuffed wolf), and Jessica Rabbit (red sheath dress I made, red thrift shop pumps, purple gloves I dyed myself), and Marlene Dietrich (the top half of a tuxedo, fishnet stockings, a blond wig, a top hat, and about a pound of makeup). Someday I do want to make myself an elaborate witch costume, complete with a black Victorian-esque dress, boots, veil and face makeup. I look like a middle-aged Campbell's Soup kid in normal dress, and for once in my life I want to look fucking terrifying.

Another idea I have is to be Barbara from The Night of the Living Dead. I'd make the blue checked dress with yellow neckband, buy a thrift shop trench coat and pumps, paint the pumps yellow, and wear a blond wig. If I shoud have a date for the occasion, he can dress like a zombie.

Some of the best costumes are the simplest, and usually involve taking some common phrase and running with it. Five years ago I saw a photo on Pinterest of a little girl dressed as a Crazy Cat Lady. She wore a nightgown and bathrobe and slippers and curlers in her hair, and had eight or nine small stuffed toy cats pinned to various places on her costume and peeking out of her bathrobe pockets. It was hilarious and adorable, and looked really easy to put it together. I happened to know two cat-obsessed little girls at the time (my grandniece and a friend's daughter), and I messaged the photo to their mothers on Facebook.

One guy I knew, who was a lawyer, once went to a dance wearing a suit with legal papers pinned on it, or in other words as a "lawsuit". I told him if he took his toddler son with him in his undies, he could call him his "brief". Another time he wore a chef's apron with knives in the pockets and with cereal glued all over it, or as a "cereal killer". And then there was time he and his wife dressed up as Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head.
posted by orange swan at 8:50 AM on October 6, 2023 [4 favorites]

Hey, y’all have fun. But I fucking hate the Halloween costume thing. I got fired from a job for refusing to wear one. And I didn't regret it. Voluntary fun is fine. Mandatory fun is not. Halloween somehow became mandatory fun for adults and I'm a bit salty about it.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 8:59 AM on October 6, 2023 [9 favorites]

I have a costumes-requested halloween party coming up, and I'm just petrified. I don't do costumes. Ever. I just can't. Hate it. I honestly might not go, even though it's a good friend. Argh!
posted by Thorzdad at 9:04 AM on October 6, 2023 [3 favorites]

The first link I clicked on, I thought - hey, President Barbie is wearing my jumpsuit! And then they go and link to what is surely a totally different Amazon one. Bait and switch!
posted by 41swans at 9:27 AM on October 6, 2023

Halloween, like birthdays, should be celebrated by those 13 and under...
posted by Czjewel at 9:28 AM on October 6, 2023

Groucho Marxist. We did this as a group once. Black beret with red star, white tshirt, cargo pants, groucho glasses, boots.
posted by theora55 at 9:44 AM on October 6, 2023 [9 favorites]

I once had an old boyfriend who still had his college graduation gown and also had one of those rainbow clown wigs. He donned both and gave himself a red nose with lipstick, and called himself "The Supreme Court Jester".
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:45 AM on October 6, 2023 [3 favorites]

Well, this is it for me. "Spooky Season" has killed Halloween. Spooky Season Black Friday is not far behind.
posted by pthomas745 at 9:46 AM on October 6, 2023 [2 favorites]

Five years ago I saw a photo on Pinterest of a little girl dressed as a Crazy Cat Lady. She wore a nightgown and bathrobe and slippers and curlers in her hair, and had eight or nine small stuffed toy cats pinned to various places on her costume and peeking out of her bathrobe pockets.

I did this a few years ago. As a real-life cat lady, I have socks and PJ pants and jewelry with cats on them, and that only added to the spectacle.
posted by dlugoczaj at 10:00 AM on October 6, 2023 [2 favorites]

Well, this is it for me. "Spooky Season" has killed Halloween. Spooky Season Black Friday is not far behind.

Dude.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:09 AM on October 6, 2023 [5 favorites]

Halloween, like birthdays, should be celebrated by those 13 and under...

What are you, the fun police? Sheesh.
posted by 41swans at 10:11 AM on October 6, 2023 [19 favorites]

I will use any excuse to wear a costume. Costumes are fun.
posted by edencosmic at 10:20 AM on October 6, 2023 [12 favorites]

One of my better cheap costumes involved going to the dollar store and buying a few packets of cheap little rubber snakes. I put my hair into several braids, pinned them up, and then threaded the snakes through. Et voilà! Medusa! I went heavy on green eyeshadow and lipstick and just wore a dress that didn't clash. (I suppose I could have put together a cheap chiton if I wanted to go all-out.)
posted by Karmakaze at 11:21 AM on October 6, 2023 [7 favorites]

I still think my best Halloween costume ever was the Failed Zombie Bait Runner. I was inspired by finding this online, printed it onto a t-shirt and a patch which went on an old parka, then covered everything in dirt, gore, and artistically placed bloody handprints. Add a beanie with a patch of rubber brain sewn in, some creepy white contacts and a full face of zombie slap, et voila. The zombie thing is hardly original, but I felt the fact that I'm a wheelchair user kind of elevated the whole concept from 'mildly funny' to 'hilarious'.
posted by BlueNorther at 11:31 AM on October 6, 2023 [6 favorites]

My most insufferable, however, was for a party that I couldn't really be bothered with for various reasons. It was a theme party, costumes beginning with E. So I got a name tag, wrote 'eponymous' on it, and went as myself. You can have that one if you want, Thorzdad.
posted by BlueNorther at 11:55 AM on October 6, 2023 [5 favorites]

... and frog.
posted by rhamphorhynchus at 12:02 PM on October 6, 2023 [4 favorites]

Why not just use your face?
posted by migurski at 2:06 PM on October 6, 2023

My annual epistle to my goodly parishioners in defense of this most sacred holiday:

"Beloved in Christ,

Halloween is a Christian holiday.

It is one of the precious few that I can think of that we didn't blatantly steal from the cultures and peoples we colonized (I'm looking directly at you, Easter and Christmas).
The only other "originally Christian holidays" that come immediately to mind are Christ the King and Epiphany.

Halloween was inaugurated in the eighth century by Pope Gregory III as a time for praying for the dead. Halloween is the first day of the Christian triduum (three-day celebration) of Allhallowtide: Halloween, All Saints' Day, and All Souls' Day.

Dress your children up as demons to make a mockery of the enemy of life, to ridicule death, and to announce to the powers and principalities that for the Christian, "Death has lost its sting!"

Most importantly of all, however, is that we practicing Christians stop colonizing other indigenous holidays that happen to have similar traditions and occur near Allhallowtide.

Día de los Muertos IS ITS OWN THING. White Christians especially: do not appropriate these images into your Halloween celebration. If you are celebrating halloween, you are engaging with a Christian holy day. If you dress up like a candy skull, you are colonizing another holiday.

Samhain IS ITS OWN THING. For the love of God, leave the pagans alone. Lord knows we've done enough damage there as it is.

Rock out. Wear a costume. Shame the devil. Pray for the beloved departed. Rejoice in the preservation of the saints. Eat candy.
But most of all... (spooky voice)....be wary of any Christian church that is opposed to the celebration of Halloween. These people don't know their history - and there's nothing on Earth more terrifying than white Christians who've forgotten their history."
posted by Baby_Balrog at 2:10 PM on October 6, 2023 [25 favorites]

I'm not gonna lie. Those all seem like too much work.
posted by brundlefly at 2:12 PM on October 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

I dunno brundlefly - that Price is Right contestant costume is pretty friggin hilarious
posted by Baby_Balrog at 2:18 PM on October 6, 2023

Nothing but sincerity as far as the eye can see.
posted by credulous at 2:26 PM on October 6, 2023 [2 favorites]

A quite simple yet now quite outdated costume I saw years ago was wearing cat ears and whiskers and a tail and wearing a whiteboard around your neck you would write broken english captions on during the evening. LOLcat as a costume.
posted by hippybear at 2:29 PM on October 6, 2023 [3 favorites]

Just found out there is a place that lets you make flower crowns in the east bay linked from something on this, so TY for that.
posted by Chrysopoeia at 3:05 PM on October 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

Dress your children up as demons to make a mockery of the enemy of life, to ridicule death...

Halloween is more metal than I'd thought.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 3:35 PM on October 6, 2023 [3 favorites]

Toga or stola.

Or just a set of drapes you saw in the window and had to have.
posted by Iris Gambol at 4:06 PM on October 6, 2023 [3 favorites]

Or just a set of drapes you saw in the window and had to have.

Honestly aside from the awkwardness of getting through doorways generally, this is a costume you could likely put together at a Goodwill -- curtains, curtain rod. If you can find some southern belle white gloves and a hat while you're there, even better.
posted by hippybear at 4:17 PM on October 6, 2023 [3 favorites]

Many years ago, my then 8 year old child came up with their own costume idea—a bag of groceries. We covered a cardboard box with local grocery bag paper, glued parts of packages to stick out of the top around the neck. An orange turtleneck and facepaint with hair sprayed green (and hard so it would stand up) completed the carrot sticking out of the bag part of the costume. As adults, my other child and partner have created numerous creative DIY costumes. Halloween is our favorite holiday.
posted by Scout405 at 6:01 PM on October 6, 2023 [4 favorites]

When I was nine I used a Baskin-Robbins ice cream bucket as the basis for a Darth Vader helmet shortly after the film came out. It wasn't good, but it was totally adorable for a nine year old.
posted by hippybear at 6:06 PM on October 6, 2023 [3 favorites]

My most memorable costume, many many years ago when I was maybe 9 or 10, was a robot made of 3 graduated-size boxes covered in aluminum foil and taped together. My grandfather even set up little red lights for the eyes, wired to a battery and a button inside the costume I could press at will to make the lights blink. I was so thrilled by this that I managed to wear out the battery (this was long before LEDs were a thing) before the local costume contest.* I don't remember the outcome of that contest beyond "I didn't win it". C'est la vie.

*Clearly I would have failed the Stanford Marshmallow "delayed gratification" Test
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:34 PM on October 6, 2023 [4 favorites]

you didn't eat the battery, Greg. Cool granddad and cool costume!
posted by Iris Gambol at 7:27 PM on October 6, 2023 [2 favorites]

My only saving grace would be that I think marshmallows taste worse than battery acid.

Now if marshmallows tasted like smoked brisket, I'd've been a pushover.
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:39 PM on October 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

Try toasting them over a smoking brisket?
(in costume, of course)
posted by Iris Gambol at 10:26 PM on October 6, 2023 [1 favorite]

At school in 4th grade, the cool weird artsy kid who was really into Dungeons and Dragons put cut-out white paper teeth around the opening of a purple sleeping bag and shuffled in the school costume parade as a Purple Worm.

I'm a bald white male humanities academic, and the best last-minute improvised costume I did was to borrow a turtleneck and go to a party wearing glasses and talking with a fake French accent about hegemony and the carceral imagination as Michel Foucault.
posted by vitia at 5:27 AM on October 7, 2023 [1 favorite]

Honestly aside from the awkwardness of getting through doorways generally, this is a costume you could likely put together at a Goodwill -- curtains, curtain rod.

Oh, this is reminding me of a friend who needed a last-minute costume - he went to Goodwill and got the absolute biggest suit they had, then shoved a couple rulers into each shoulder and was "Big Suit David Byrne".

I also remember seeing a kid in my neighborhood one year who'd made himself a suit of samurai armor out of cardboard. I only saw him at a glance so the only detail I remember was that the shoulder guards were made of egg cartons.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:32 AM on October 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

I’m doing Sexy Mefite.

As always.
posted by Phanx at 10:00 AM on October 7, 2023 [6 favorites]

I'm making a pork roast for a work potluck, and somebody gave me some meat claws. There HAS to be a costume there. If I had a brown sweater I could be a wolverine.
posted by acrasis at 1:46 PM on October 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

I've used an old bridesmaids dress, made a sash that read "Miss Behaving", and wore a tiara.

I wore a flowy nightgown, with a flowy white beach coverup that I pinned fake flowers and greenery to. I added more fake flowers to my hair and went as "Mother Nature".

I borrowed a white meat coat from where I work, added a stethoscope, and was a doctor. (Wearing that coat makes it difficult to dress up for Halloween at work. I've also done the white face makeup, and a white baseball cap with gauzey fabric and gone as a ghost).

My favorite group theme was Pirates: my older son was almost five so I dressed him as a pirate, and did the same for myself. But my younger one: I got a golden/yellow fleece outfit that I painted "Mommy's Little Treasure" on. I took a cardboard box and added wood grained Contact paper and made a treasure chest. I sat my son (he was eight months old) in one of those tub seats where he sat upright in the chest and put a gold fleece blanket around him that I'd drawn circles on so it resembled a pile of gold coins. I draped plastic pearl strands around the edges and put the whole thing on a little wheeled wagon. We marched in my hometown Halloween parade.

This year, due to wearing that coat, I'm going to get a stack of "Hello, my name is ____: tags, write different names in different ways in different colors and stick them all over my work coat. Tada! I'm an Identity Thief!
posted by annieb at 4:30 PM on October 7, 2023 [2 favorites]

With moving and stress and fatigue, I'm wearing the ballet costume I wore in my recital in June. In the past, I've been a black cat, a gray rabbit, a teal crayon and a gumball machine.

Next year, I want to be an adult scout complete with adulting merit badges.
posted by kathrynm at 4:23 PM on October 8, 2023 [1 favorite]

As a MeFite, you've automatically earned the Overthinker badge.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:25 AM on October 9, 2023

Ugh halloween costumes DO stress me out; I always have good ideas but no time, time but no ideas, a fantastic idea with tons of time but a partner who ALSO needs a costume... bleh. A few times though I have really nailed it and it's so worthwhile.

Plus, my partner still regrets the Sexy Anglerfish who got away some years back. So I definitely can't give up costumes until I find some way to top that one.
posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 12:15 PM on October 9, 2023 [1 favorite]

MeFites need a plate of beans patch too.
posted by kathrynm at 2:10 PM on October 9, 2023