Endangered Ocelots May Be Expanding Their Range in Texas

May 1, 2024 6:15 AM

Endangered Ocelots May Be Expanding Their Range in Texas. DNA testing of an ocelot killed in 2021 raises the possibility that the creatures may be roaming outside their established South Texas territory, which is currently their only stronghold in the country.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries (22 comments total)

Babou!
posted by thecjm at 6:42 AM on May 1 [6 favorites]

I love kitties, go on you ocelots! Make more ocelots!
posted by seanmpuckett at 6:54 AM on May 1 [1 favorite]

Can we sacrifice the Governor and Legislature to placate the Ocelot God and ensure more ocelots? That would be a win-win for the State of Texas.
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:20 AM on May 1 [16 favorites]

This is great news! If they need any tips on how to titillate an ocelot, I have a suggestion.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:35 AM on May 1 [3 favorites]

Fuck yeah, ocelots.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:37 AM on May 1 [1 favorite]

crepuscular.
posted by bombastic lowercase pronouncements at 7:40 AM on May 1 [9 favorites]

Good for the ocelots!

I winced at the words strongholds and Texas in the same sentence. Why is it anything worthwhile has to fight like hell to exist in that damn state?
posted by BlueHorse at 7:53 AM on May 1 [1 favorite]

You beat me to the "ocelittle" joke.
posted by Faint of Butt at 8:03 AM on May 1

Since it's Texas, if they renamed the animals "Yeehawcelots" they'd probably get more support.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:11 AM on May 1 [2 favorites]

The ocelots were in their South Texas Stronghold before greg abbott, and they will be there long after he's gone. I expect they will not cede one square inch of territory.

Now that they've gone on the offense, I expect in time to see an Ocelot Delegation in Austin to negotiate the terms of abbott's surrender. In the meanwhile, if I see an ocelot dressed in black infiltrating the Governor's Mansion... no I didn't.
posted by howbigisthistextfield at 8:12 AM on May 1 [7 favorites]

Since it's Texas, if they renamed the animals "Yeehawcelots" they'd probably get more support.

Maybe their historical connection to revolvers should be emphasized.
posted by nanny's striped stocking at 9:22 AM on May 1 [3 favorites]

I'm surprised. I had no idea they were from North America. Such magnificent creatures!

Anyone besides me remember the one named "Bruce"? :-)
posted by Goofyy at 9:24 AM on May 1

I just want to mention that ocelots in general are not endangered, it's just this Texas based sub-species, which is a bit smaller and greyer-furred than the typical.

There's ... heaps and ... loads and ... oodles of ocelots in South America.
posted by seanmpuckett at 9:24 AM on May 1

Maybe their historical connection to revolvers should be emphasized.

You sure you're not thinking of "oscillates"?
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:31 AM on May 1 [2 favorites]

Maybe their historical connection to revolvers should be emphasized

SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!
posted by howbigisthistextfield at 9:33 AM on May 1 [2 favorites]

ooh I had no idea they were in Texas either!! they are such beauties I hope they thrive and rise up and take over!
posted by supermedusa at 10:06 AM on May 1 [2 favorites]

I hope they thrive and rise up and take over!

At first, I was assuming that given all the guns in Texas, they'd all get shot before that happened but odds are more people would get shot than ocelots. It's all upside.
posted by tommasz at 10:55 AM on May 1

Well, it's Texas. You assume the ocelots don't have guns themselves.
posted by howbigisthistextfield at 11:04 AM on May 1 [2 favorites]

If the ocelot has a gun, that means in Texas you can carry it wherever you want in a cute little holster.
posted by credulous at 11:41 AM on May 1 [2 favorites]

And that qualifies it to be your support animal when you go out to eat!
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd at 12:15 PM on May 1 [1 favorite]

So nice to see good news about my home state for a change.
posted by gentlyepigrams at 12:39 PM on May 1

I'm reminded of the Arthurian story where Sir Axolotlot and Sir Ocelotalot had a joust. Where neither won, but everyone agreed it was adorable, except Merlin, who, as the son of the Devil, was kind of a dick.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:08 PM on May 1 [1 favorite]