"People generally think you're mad... That's sort of the point."
May 17, 2011 5:02 AM Subscribe
Planking (lie flat, face down, in an unusual location, get someone to take your photo) is a meme that started in Australia (or possibly England). It has just claimed its first death.
Facebook just got a new topic
posted by the noob at 5:04 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by the noob at 5:04 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:13 AM on May 17, 2011 [9 favorites]
Is this the 21st century version of eating goldfish or sitting on top of a flagpole?
posted by craichead at 5:15 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by craichead at 5:15 AM on May 17, 2011
Never understood this little democracy-waster...
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 5:16 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 5:16 AM on May 17, 2011
"Balcony" seems mundane; I was expecting something like "lava flow that was not quite as thickly crusted as it appeared" or "rabid wolverine".
posted by Wolfdog at 5:20 AM on May 17, 2011 [19 favorites]
posted by Wolfdog at 5:20 AM on May 17, 2011 [19 favorites]
Laying down is not inherently dangerous. It can't claim any deaths. Careless, reckless behavior is the culprit here. One good example of correlation not being causation.
posted by notion at 5:21 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by notion at 5:21 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Sigh. I got an email this morning from the university PR department because the papers were looking for expert commentary on risk taking behaviour. Somehow, despite having rather strong opinions on the topic of risk homeostasis, and on how social context shapes the propect functions people use to evaluate their options, I have decided *not* to waste everyone's time over-explaining the blindingly freaking obvious about why humans sometimes do bloody stupid but cool-looking things.
posted by mixing at 5:21 AM on May 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by mixing at 5:21 AM on May 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
drunk guy does stupid thing, dies. when I was younger I did a lot of stupid things while drunk and but didn't die. natural selection works at a population, not individual level.
.
posted by russm at 5:22 AM on May 17, 2011 [19 favorites]
.
posted by russm at 5:22 AM on May 17, 2011 [19 favorites]
This is the stupidest fad I've ever heard of.
Maybe they should try it on railroad tracks.
posted by fourcheesemac at 5:22 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Maybe they should try it on railroad tracks.
posted by fourcheesemac at 5:22 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
apparently I can't make sentences at the moment. I'm not drunk, but guess I might be stupid
posted by russm at 5:24 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by russm at 5:24 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Desjardin, wake up, I don't care that you're on the other side of the planet. What did you say on Twitter?:
"Today I learned what "planking" is. What the fuck, kids these days? Wow, you can lay face down? WHAT AMAZING SKILLS YOU HAVE."
And this is why I follow her.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 5:25 AM on May 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
"Today I learned what "planking" is. What the fuck, kids these days? Wow, you can lay face down? WHAT AMAZING SKILLS YOU HAVE."
And this is why I follow her.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 5:25 AM on May 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
I feel sorry for the deceased family and friend, but surely this is a prime candidate for winning a Darwin Award?
posted by Faintdreams at 5:28 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Faintdreams at 5:28 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Oh yeah... they wanted comments on risk taking behaviour *because* of the planking thing. Newspapers don't *usually* contact me for no reason. *Usually*
posted by mixing at 5:28 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by mixing at 5:28 AM on May 17, 2011
I prefer the articles about planking that feature Kerri-Anne Kennerly's masterful planking of a sofa (scroll down).
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 5:29 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 5:29 AM on May 17, 2011
natural selection works at a population, not individual level.
The first few thousand dumb guys are all "individuals." Now if we can just convince the females to stop matin' with 'em beforehand, we've got somethin'.
posted by ShutterBun at 5:29 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
The first few thousand dumb guys are all "individuals." Now if we can just convince the females to stop matin' with 'em beforehand, we've got somethin'.
posted by ShutterBun at 5:29 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Memes kill.
Every time you look at a lolcat, you are leading to the deaths of 20-somethings.
Keep that in mind as you wander the internet.
posted by jenlovesponies at 5:30 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
Every time you look at a lolcat, you are leading to the deaths of 20-somethings.
Keep that in mind as you wander the internet.
posted by jenlovesponies at 5:30 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
I don't want your life!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:34 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:34 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Every time you look at a lolcat, you are leading to the deaths of 20-somethings Charles Darwin kills a 20-something
FTFY
posted by russm at 5:36 AM on May 17, 2011
FTFY
posted by russm at 5:36 AM on May 17, 2011
"Posting" is where you stand upright and "Bracing" is where you lean against something like a legend while smoking a cigarette. There's also one for sitting down but I couldn't find a building or timbering term for it and don't care to.
posted by tumid dahlia at 5:36 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by tumid dahlia at 5:36 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Buttressing.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:38 AM on May 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by Wolfdog at 5:38 AM on May 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
Is it too soon for 'stiff' jokes?
posted by londonmark at 5:38 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by londonmark at 5:38 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
In my day planking was clocking someone with a 2 x 4.
posted by bwg at 5:45 AM on May 17, 2011 [6 favorites]
posted by bwg at 5:45 AM on May 17, 2011 [6 favorites]
clavdivs - other than the media getting all in a tizzy?
(jeez, there was an article in the Herald-Sun about this yesterday that was absolutely woefull. hardly surprising, but still)
posted by russm at 5:45 AM on May 17, 2011
(jeez, there was an article in the Herald-Sun about this yesterday that was absolutely woefull. hardly surprising, but still)
posted by russm at 5:45 AM on May 17, 2011
I think it's very important that we remember that based on the police report filed the deceased was also drunk. Why is everyone latching on to the meme as the cause? Because alcohol deaths are uninteresting.
posted by Severian at 5:51 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Severian at 5:51 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
As the 15th Episcopope of the Crystal Bobthedral I worry that this may lead to inadequate genital stimulation.
posted by fleetmouse at 5:51 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by fleetmouse at 5:51 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I really think Australia needs to step up its meme game. Planking is dumb.
posted by entropone at 5:53 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by entropone at 5:53 AM on May 17, 2011
OK, this story isn't really funny (because, you know, death), but when I read this:
Queensland police last week warned "plankers" of the dangers of the activity, after a man was caught allegedly planking on a police car.
I keep imagining "planking" as a euphemism for other acts, and I am ashamedly amused.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:54 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Queensland police last week warned "plankers" of the dangers of the activity, after a man was caught allegedly planking on a police car.
I keep imagining "planking" as a euphemism for other acts, and I am ashamedly amused.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:54 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
It's just like Dungeons & Dragons thing...and the thing before that.
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:56 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:56 AM on May 17, 2011
The news story you are about to read may startle you. It would not have been possible otherwise to sufficiently emphasize the frightful toll of the new meme menace which is destroying the youth of Australia in alarmingly increasing numbers. Planking is that meme — an irresistible narcotic — an unspeakable scourge — the real Public Enemy Number One!
Its first effect is sudden, uncontrollable stiffness. Then comes lying down — space expands — time slows down, almost stands still — photography comes next, recording these monstrous extravagances — followed by posting on Facebook, the total inability to direct thoughts, the loss of all power to resist physical emotions... right, Facebook... ending often in disaster.
In picturing its soul-destroying effects no attempt was made to equivocate. The scenes and incidents, while fictionalized, are based on actual googling. If their stark reality will make you think, will make you aware that something must be done to wipe out this ghastly menace, then the story will not have failed in its purpose.
Because the dread planking may be reaching forth next for your son or daughter... or yours... or YOURS!
posted by No-sword at 5:57 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Its first effect is sudden, uncontrollable stiffness. Then comes lying down — space expands — time slows down, almost stands still — photography comes next, recording these monstrous extravagances — followed by posting on Facebook, the total inability to direct thoughts, the loss of all power to resist physical emotions... right, Facebook... ending often in disaster.
In picturing its soul-destroying effects no attempt was made to equivocate. The scenes and incidents, while fictionalized, are based on actual googling. If their stark reality will make you think, will make you aware that something must be done to wipe out this ghastly menace, then the story will not have failed in its purpose.
Because the dread planking may be reaching forth next for your son or daughter... or yours... or YOURS!
posted by No-sword at 5:57 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Because alcohol deaths are uninteresting
Nah, you're just reading the wrong newspapers.
posted by ShutterBun at 5:58 AM on May 17, 2011
Nah, you're just reading the wrong newspapers.
posted by ShutterBun at 5:58 AM on May 17, 2011
I sure hope they're buried face down.
posted by unSane at 6:00 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by unSane at 6:00 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
As predicted by Olivia Newton-Nostradamus in 1981:
I took you to an intimate restaurant
Then to a suggestive movie
There's nothing left to talk about
Unless it's horizontally
(next quatrain:)
I will make another movie with Travolta
It will be even more popular than Grease
I am sure about this
Be careful with that plankton stuff
posted by mintcake! at 6:04 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I took you to an intimate restaurant
Then to a suggestive movie
There's nothing left to talk about
Unless it's horizontally
(next quatrain:)
I will make another movie with Travolta
It will be even more popular than Grease
I am sure about this
Be careful with that plankton stuff
posted by mintcake! at 6:04 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I was planking in the 70s with the aid of a lot of Bacardi 151. Where were these journalists then? This new breed of plankers are a bunch of pussies. "Oh look at meee laying somewhere weird!" Pffft. Try planking in a bonfire after breaking up with your girlfriend. Or on the hood of an AMC pacer after a 12-pack of Blatz. Posers.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:11 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 6:11 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
In Stockholm the term has already been taken. By perhaps more worthy activities.
posted by jan murray at 6:12 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by jan murray at 6:12 AM on May 17, 2011
is there an upshot?
Yes. This is An Important Thing because it gives the media something to shout excitedly about and thereby generate advertising revenue. But as usual there's nothing really important to see here.
posted by Daddy-O at 6:16 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Yes. This is An Important Thing because it gives the media something to shout excitedly about and thereby generate advertising revenue. But as usual there's nothing really important to see here.
posted by Daddy-O at 6:16 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
If I happen to die while jowling, I expect you mefites to defend my legacy.
posted by sonascope at 6:18 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by sonascope at 6:18 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
I feel stupid saying the word "planking" like I do saying the words "Lady Gaga."
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 6:20 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Lipstick Thespian at 6:20 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
Desjardin, wake up, I don't care that you're on the other side of the planet.
You called? (Actually I was in the shower when you posted that.)
posted by desjardins at 6:34 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
You called? (Actually I was in the shower when you posted that.)
posted by desjardins at 6:34 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Clevon is lucky to be alive. He attempted to jump a jet ski from a lake into a swimming pool and impaled his crotch on an iron gate. But thanks to advances in stem cell research and the fine work of Doctors Krinsky and Altschuler, he should regain full reproductive function again.
posted by chmmr at 6:35 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by chmmr at 6:35 AM on May 17, 2011
I think maybe they're board.
posted by Kabanos at 6:35 AM on May 17, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Kabanos at 6:35 AM on May 17, 2011 [4 favorites]
Every so often, when I was moderator of MNSpeak in Minnesota, somebody would die in some ridiculous way, and people on the forum would jump in to mock the dead. And then somebody from the family would show up, heartbroken, unable to believe that their family's tragedy, which arose from a moment of thoughtlessness that we have all been guilty of but managed to survive, was now the subject of comedy for strangers.
The web has made the world a small place. When I tell jokes about the dead, I try to imagine that their friends and family are in the room with me when I tell the joke. Because they probably are.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:38 AM on May 17, 2011 [11 favorites]
The web has made the world a small place. When I tell jokes about the dead, I try to imagine that their friends and family are in the room with me when I tell the joke. Because they probably are.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:38 AM on May 17, 2011 [11 favorites]
practitioners may find themselves charged with "unauthorised high risk activity"
So....where can I be authorized for high risk activity ? It'll keep me from being injured, right?
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 6:42 AM on May 17, 2011
So....where can I be authorized for high risk activity ? It'll keep me from being injured, right?
posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 6:42 AM on May 17, 2011
I can't wait for the awkward anti-planking PSAs.
"Next time you plank: You might get carried off in a lot of planks. That form a coffin."
posted by dixiecupdrinking at 6:46 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
"Next time you plank: You might get carried off in a lot of planks. That form a coffin."
posted by dixiecupdrinking at 6:46 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
"unauthorised high risk activity"
"being on police equipment without lawful excuse"
Are these actual legal terms, or does Australia just make up a crime when they see you doing something you shouldn't?
posted by General Tonic at 6:54 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
"being on police equipment without lawful excuse"
Are these actual legal terms, or does Australia just make up a crime when they see you doing something you shouldn't?
posted by General Tonic at 6:54 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Wow, you can lay face down? WHAT AMAZING SKILLS YOU HAVE.
Wouldn't it be amazing if once, just once, the Fad of the Moment involved something of real skill and difficulty? Imagine the videos: "Brandon totally does the creation-of-a-miniature-ship-in-bottle-to-scale-using-only-wooden-tools thing much faster and with a more accurate end result than Doug! Check it out--this vid rocks!"
'Cuz this planking thing, sheesh. Snore.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:55 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Wouldn't it be amazing if once, just once, the Fad of the Moment involved something of real skill and difficulty? Imagine the videos: "Brandon totally does the creation-of-a-miniature-ship-in-bottle-to-scale-using-only-wooden-tools thing much faster and with a more accurate end result than Doug! Check it out--this vid rocks!"
'Cuz this planking thing, sheesh. Snore.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:55 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Doing something you shouldn't is also a crime here. Not to mention doing something other people think you shouldn't, or being gay north of Brisbane.
posted by notionoriety at 6:57 AM on May 17, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by notionoriety at 6:57 AM on May 17, 2011 [4 favorites]
Poor guy
posted by pracowity at 6:59 AM on May 17, 2011
Authorities in Brisbane said Acton Beale, 20, and a pal had been planking in different spots on their way home from partying on Sunday night when Beale decided to lie across a balcony rail on the seventh floor of a building in the suburb of Kangaroo Point.It looks like he just got a bad combination of good partying, a friend egging him on (not to blame the friend -- they were probably egging each other on), a scary opportunity on a high balcony, and one slip.
posted by pracowity at 6:59 AM on May 17, 2011
Guy Debord's revenge.
posted by warbaby at 7:01 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by warbaby at 7:01 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Today I learned what "planking" is. What the fuck, kids these days? Wow, you can lay face down? WHAT AMAZING SKILLS YOU HAVE."
Wouldn't it be amazing if once, just once, the Fad of the Moment involved something of real skill and difficulty?
Just to clarify, planking isn't exactly about skill, obviously. It's a meme. The point isn't laying face down; it's laying facedown someplace ridiculous, funny, dangerous, or any combination of these, having someone take a photo of it, and then posting it online.
Where I come from, doing pointless things for amusement is called "fun", and fun doesn't have to be something that requires any skill at all (see: belching the alphabet).
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:02 AM on May 17, 2011 [6 favorites]
Wouldn't it be amazing if once, just once, the Fad of the Moment involved something of real skill and difficulty?
Just to clarify, planking isn't exactly about skill, obviously. It's a meme. The point isn't laying face down; it's laying facedown someplace ridiculous, funny, dangerous, or any combination of these, having someone take a photo of it, and then posting it online.
Where I come from, doing pointless things for amusement is called "fun", and fun doesn't have to be something that requires any skill at all (see: belching the alphabet).
posted by Marisa Stole the Precious Thing at 7:02 AM on May 17, 2011 [6 favorites]
sort of the unskilled ironic version of parkour.
posted by hippybear at 8:22 AM on May 17 [7 favorites +] [!]
Ironic-boarding.
posted by StickyCarpet at 7:03 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by hippybear at 8:22 AM on May 17 [7 favorites +] [!]
Ironic-boarding.
posted by StickyCarpet at 7:03 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
The planking photos on tumblr have been keeping me entertained for some time. Unfortunately it looks like this fad is going the way of the jelly bracelet.
posted by hermitosis at 7:07 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by hermitosis at 7:07 AM on May 17, 2011
Where I come from, doing pointless things for amusement is called "fun", and fun doesn't have to be something that requires any skill at all
This is the moment where I've officially become a get-off-my-lawn grouchy old person, isn't it?
posted by desjardins at 7:12 AM on May 17, 2011
This is the moment where I've officially become a get-off-my-lawn grouchy old person, isn't it?
posted by desjardins at 7:12 AM on May 17, 2011
Unfortunately it looks like this fad is going the way of the jelly bracelet.
Jelly bracelets can kill now?
posted by londonmark at 7:13 AM on May 17, 2011
Jelly bracelets can kill now?
posted by londonmark at 7:13 AM on May 17, 2011
It's just like Dungeons & Dragons thing...and the thing before that.
Jazz music?
posted by verb at 7:14 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Jazz music?
posted by verb at 7:14 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
Has anyone ever died doing Extreme Ironing?
posted by bondcliff at 7:18 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by bondcliff at 7:18 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Once I when I was of college age, I fell and hit my head at a party while trying to do a funny gymnastic trick on the stairs. When I stood up everyone was looking at me all goggle-eyed, and I said, "No really, I'm fine!" and then I turned to see that I was bleeding ALL OVER THE GODDAM PLACE from the back of my head. And then the hostess's dog ran up and started licking up all the blood.
So after I got myself bandaged up in the bathroom (making it look almost like a crime scene in the progress) I decided to go home. But it turns out I didn't even get to go on record as the real disaster of the party, because later that night, this high school cheerleader fell off the roof attempting a handstand. She landed face-down, and when they got down there and rolled her over, she immediately threw her arms over her face and yelled, "OMG, don't look at me, I'm all UGLY!" Someone drove her to the hospital, where they had to wire her broken jaw shut. The police were called, the party was broken up, and the next morning the hostess's parents discovered that two dirtbikes were stolen out of their garage. So my dumb little stunt turned out to be a barely remembered blip.
tl;dr: kids will continue to do dumb dangerous things, and even bad shit happening to others will not convince them to stop, because they simply can't imagine that they'd ever be so unlucky.
posted by hermitosis at 7:25 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
So after I got myself bandaged up in the bathroom (making it look almost like a crime scene in the progress) I decided to go home. But it turns out I didn't even get to go on record as the real disaster of the party, because later that night, this high school cheerleader fell off the roof attempting a handstand. She landed face-down, and when they got down there and rolled her over, she immediately threw her arms over her face and yelled, "OMG, don't look at me, I'm all UGLY!" Someone drove her to the hospital, where they had to wire her broken jaw shut. The police were called, the party was broken up, and the next morning the hostess's parents discovered that two dirtbikes were stolen out of their garage. So my dumb little stunt turned out to be a barely remembered blip.
tl;dr: kids will continue to do dumb dangerous things, and even bad shit happening to others will not convince them to stop, because they simply can't imagine that they'd ever be so unlucky.
posted by hermitosis at 7:25 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
then I turned to see that I was bleeding ALL OVER THE GODDAM PLACE from the back of my head. And then the hostess's dog ran up and started licking up all the blood.
Massive Headwound Hermitosis!
posted by bondcliff at 7:28 AM on May 17, 2011
Massive Headwound Hermitosis!
posted by bondcliff at 7:28 AM on May 17, 2011
Laying down is not inherently dangerous. Not according to this!
I once broke two ribs while walking down the street. Because I was walking down the street with my dumb drunk friends, and one of them had "an idea."
Ideas are inherently dangerous. QED.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 7:39 AM on May 17, 2011
I once broke two ribs while walking down the street. Because I was walking down the street with my dumb drunk friends, and one of them had "an idea."
Ideas are inherently dangerous. QED.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 7:39 AM on May 17, 2011
Sorry, I know like a dude died and everything, but each time someone brings up planking to me it really annoys me because I want to declare that honestly, it's not that new meme when you think how Asia did it first and better.
posted by kkokkodalk at 7:41 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by kkokkodalk at 7:41 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
Is there a subgenre where you try to cook salmon on your back?
posted by staggernation at 8:09 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by staggernation at 8:09 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
Once at a party my good, very very drunk, friend decided to show everyone how he roll down the stairs in a somersault position, like a car tyre would. He actually succeeded in this and sprang to his feet at the bottom as if to say 'ta-da!'. Unfortunately, he still had a huge amount of forward momentum and he was catapulted straight through the plate glass front door, slicing open an artery in the process. Fortunately he lived, but only just.
posted by unSane at 8:12 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by unSane at 8:12 AM on May 17, 2011
Are these actual legal terms, or does Australia just make up a crime when they see you doing something you shouldn't?
It wouldn't be surprise me if that was a crime in Queensland, which was effectively a police state through the 1980s.
Then again, Australian law was generally English law adapted to the efficient running of penal colonies, so one can expect various authoritarian measures in the letter of the law. As well as a widely celebrated disrespect for the law in the popular culture. (What other country almost made the ballad of a sheep thief its national anthem?)
posted by acb at 8:17 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
It wouldn't be surprise me if that was a crime in Queensland, which was effectively a police state through the 1980s.
Then again, Australian law was generally English law adapted to the efficient running of penal colonies, so one can expect various authoritarian measures in the letter of the law. As well as a widely celebrated disrespect for the law in the popular culture. (What other country almost made the ballad of a sheep thief its national anthem?)
posted by acb at 8:17 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Ok, planking is stupid, but I've now fallen in love with Extreme Ironing.
posted by threeturtles at 8:29 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by threeturtles at 8:29 AM on May 17, 2011
Huh. More than ten years ago my then-girfriend and I were taking pictures of each other "sleeping" in various locales as an ironical alternative to run-of-the-mill tourist snaps. I can't imagine we were the first to have the idea and I suppose I shouldn't be surprised it caught on in a big way.
posted by generalist at 8:47 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by generalist at 8:47 AM on May 17, 2011
From Futility Closet comes extreme planking.
posted by jessssse at 8:53 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by jessssse at 8:53 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I was planking in the 70s with the aid of a lot of Bacardi 151 ... . Try planking in a bonfire after breaking up with your girlfriend. Or on the hood of an AMC pacer after a 12-pack of Blatz. Posers.
Whatever. We did all that too back in the 70s, usually with Vodka or Southern Comfort. But we just called it puking. Did it in the weirdest places.
posted by philip-random at 9:00 AM on May 17, 2011
Whatever. We did all that too back in the 70s, usually with Vodka or Southern Comfort. But we just called it puking. Did it in the weirdest places.
posted by philip-random at 9:00 AM on May 17, 2011
As a recovered alcoholic, I can state with certainty that lying face down in places and/or situations one should not be lying face down in is not a "new" thing... well, for me anyway....
posted by Debaser626 at 9:03 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by Debaser626 at 9:03 AM on May 17, 2011
This is the stupidest fad I've ever heard of.
Thick as two planks?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:06 AM on May 17, 2011
Thick as two planks?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:06 AM on May 17, 2011
I can't wait for the awkward anti-planking PSAs.
You know what else causes planking? Rigor Mortis.
posted by quin at 9:15 AM on May 17, 2011
You know what else causes planking? Rigor Mortis.
posted by quin at 9:15 AM on May 17, 2011
Every time you look at a lolcat, you are leading to the deaths of 20-somethings.
If only.
posted by dersins at 9:32 AM on May 17, 2011
If only.
posted by dersins at 9:32 AM on May 17, 2011
"While we appreciate the activity is light-hearted fun, putting yourself and others at risk and breaking the law will not be tolerated," he said.
Planking - the light-hearted, fun way to break the law and put yourself and others at risk! This message brought to you by Sergeant Matthew Russell, of Gladstone police.
posted by owtytrof at 9:33 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Planking - the light-hearted, fun way to break the law and put yourself and others at risk! This message brought to you by Sergeant Matthew Russell, of Gladstone police.
posted by owtytrof at 9:33 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
This is definitely not from the UK. You can't blame us for this.
posted by fraserlee at 9:46 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by fraserlee at 9:46 AM on May 17, 2011
Meh, what poseurs. All the hip kids are escalator spinning.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 9:57 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 9:57 AM on May 17, 2011 [3 favorites]
We definitely need regulations on this! America's youth are at risk from the dangerous new pastime of lying down!
posted by eritain at 10:29 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by eritain at 10:29 AM on May 17, 2011
But did they post the photo?
posted by VicNebulous at 10:39 AM on May 17, 2011
posted by VicNebulous at 10:39 AM on May 17, 2011
Planking doesn't kill people, gravity does.
posted by mccarty.tim at 11:01 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by mccarty.tim at 11:01 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Plancking, incidentally, involves getting a photo of yourself exhibiting properties of both a wave and a particle at the same time.
posted by mccarty.tim at 11:03 AM on May 17, 2011 [15 favorites]
posted by mccarty.tim at 11:03 AM on May 17, 2011 [15 favorites]
This is the stupidest fad I've ever heard of.
Sounds pretty stupid to me, too. But before I condemn it utterly, I probably ought to examine my memory of an episode a quarter of a century ago wherein I can be found walking across the top of a suspension bridge, drunk, in the middle of winter, in spite of -- hell, because of --my girlfriend's terrified shrieks and the protestations of even my most inebriated friends. Give me a second...
Okay, carry on, kids.
posted by steambadger at 11:24 AM on May 17, 2011
Sounds pretty stupid to me, too. But before I condemn it utterly, I probably ought to examine my memory of an episode a quarter of a century ago wherein I can be found walking across the top of a suspension bridge, drunk, in the middle of winter, in spite of -- hell, because of --my girlfriend's terrified shrieks and the protestations of even my most inebriated friends. Give me a second...
Okay, carry on, kids.
posted by steambadger at 11:24 AM on May 17, 2011
When I tell jokes about the dead, I try to imagine that their friends and family are in the room with me when I tell the joke. Because they probably are.
How do they react when you get to the punchline?
posted by anigbrowl at 11:26 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
How do they react when you get to the punchline?
posted by anigbrowl at 11:26 AM on May 17, 2011 [2 favorites]
"Brandon totally does the creation-of-a-miniature-ship-in-bottle-to-scale-using-only-wooden-tools thing much faster and with a more accurate end result than Doug! Check it out--this vid rocks!"
You know what would be even cooler? If Brandon did the ship-in-a-bottle thing while hanging from a construction crane by one leg. And then three or four thousand other guys did the same thing.
posted by steambadger at 11:27 AM on May 17, 2011
You know what would be even cooler? If Brandon did the ship-in-a-bottle thing while hanging from a construction crane by one leg. And then three or four thousand other guys did the same thing.
posted by steambadger at 11:27 AM on May 17, 2011
How do they react when you get to the punchline?
I bet he's got some killer heckler put-downs.
posted by unSane at 11:54 AM on May 17, 2011
I bet he's got some killer heckler put-downs.
posted by unSane at 11:54 AM on May 17, 2011
How do they react when you get to the punchline?
Usually start sobbing, if the joke is good enough.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:55 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Usually start sobbing, if the joke is good enough.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:55 AM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
This already happened. Remember the football movie where the players lay down in the middle of a busy street because they're badass and then somebody did it and died and then they had to cut the scene from the movie?
posted by drjimmy11 at 12:04 PM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by drjimmy11 at 12:04 PM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Escalator spinning is the shit, I agree with whoever posted that.
posted by Mister_A at 12:06 PM on May 17, 2011
posted by Mister_A at 12:06 PM on May 17, 2011
So....where can I be authorized for high risk activity ? It'll keep me from being injured, right?
I'm sure he means running into a burning building or tailing a murderer in a highway chase.. authorized not because there isn't risk, but because there is the justification for the risk.
posted by herbplarfegan at 1:27 PM on May 17, 2011
I'm sure he means running into a burning building or tailing a murderer in a highway chase.. authorized not because there isn't risk, but because there is the justification for the risk.
posted by herbplarfegan at 1:27 PM on May 17, 2011
Well, he'll be good at it now.
And I suppose if you die while planking, you can then plank anywhere without fear.
posted by jocelmeow at 2:02 PM on May 17, 2011
And I suppose if you die while planking, you can then plank anywhere without fear.
posted by jocelmeow at 2:02 PM on May 17, 2011
There's already been a schism within the planking community - just yesterday morning, a young lady was being interviewed on breakfast TV, and she felt the need to clarify:
"No, no, no no no - we don't do planking! Our style is 'extreme lying down'!"
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:07 PM on May 17, 2011
"No, no, no no no - we don't do planking! Our style is 'extreme lying down'!"
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:07 PM on May 17, 2011
Holy cow, my misunderstanding of the song Waltzing Matilda was epic. I learned something today. Wow.
posted by Wolfdog at 2:26 PM on May 17, 2011
posted by Wolfdog at 2:26 PM on May 17, 2011
Once a drunken bogan planked by a billabong
Up in the fork of a coolibah tree,
And he sang as he posted the photo up on twitterpix
"You'll come a-planking Matilda with me"
Planking Matilda, planking Matilda
"You'll come a-planking Matilda, with me"
And he sang as he posted the photo up on twitterpix
"You'll come a-planking Matilda, with me".
Down came a jumbuck to drink at that billabong,
Up climbed the bogan, planked on him with glee,
And he sang as he linked that photo in his twitter feed,
"You'll come a-planking Matilda with me".
[chorus, with 3rd line from preceding verse inserted]
Up rode the copper, mounted on his thoroughbred,
Down came the journos, one, two, three,
"You're a drongo dumbfuck for planking like an utter dag!"
"You'll stop a-planking Matilda, say we"
[chorus, with 3rd line from preceding verse inserted]
Up jumped the bogan and sprang into the billabong,
"This is a plank, not a dive" said he,
And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong,
"You'll come a-planking Matilda, with me".
[chorus, with 3rd line from preceding verse inserted]
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:11 PM on May 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
Up in the fork of a coolibah tree,
And he sang as he posted the photo up on twitterpix
"You'll come a-planking Matilda with me"
Planking Matilda, planking Matilda
"You'll come a-planking Matilda, with me"
And he sang as he posted the photo up on twitterpix
"You'll come a-planking Matilda, with me".
Down came a jumbuck to drink at that billabong,
Up climbed the bogan, planked on him with glee,
And he sang as he linked that photo in his twitter feed,
"You'll come a-planking Matilda with me".
[chorus, with 3rd line from preceding verse inserted]
Up rode the copper, mounted on his thoroughbred,
Down came the journos, one, two, three,
"You're a drongo dumbfuck for planking like an utter dag!"
"You'll stop a-planking Matilda, say we"
[chorus, with 3rd line from preceding verse inserted]
Up jumped the bogan and sprang into the billabong,
"This is a plank, not a dive" said he,
And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong,
"You'll come a-planking Matilda, with me".
[chorus, with 3rd line from preceding verse inserted]
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:11 PM on May 17, 2011 [5 favorites]
This is the stupidest fad I've ever heard of.
Maybe they should try it on railroad tracks.
They did (see second image).
posted by penguin pie at 3:26 PM on May 17, 2011
Maybe they should try it on railroad tracks.
They did (see second image).
posted by penguin pie at 3:26 PM on May 17, 2011
Holy cow, my misunderstanding of the song Waltzing Matilda was epic. I learned something today. Wow.
that sounds potentially amusing - do tell... you thought it was about someone going to a dance?
posted by russm at 3:38 PM on May 17, 2011
that sounds potentially amusing - do tell... you thought it was about someone going to a dance?
posted by russm at 3:38 PM on May 17, 2011
Down came a jumbuck to drink at that billabong,
Up climbed the bogan, planked on him with glee,
Is there nothing we won't steal from New Zealand and claim as our own?
posted by obiwanwasabi at 4:26 PM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
Up climbed the bogan, planked on him with glee,
Is there nothing we won't steal from New Zealand and claim as our own?
posted by obiwanwasabi at 4:26 PM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
very time you look at a lolcat, you are leading to the deaths of 20-somethings.
I suppose that's the rest of my day booked then.
posted by pompomtom at 4:46 PM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
I suppose that's the rest of my day booked then.
posted by pompomtom at 4:46 PM on May 17, 2011 [1 favorite]
In my day planking was clocking someone with a 2 x 4.
That was my first thought, 'no wonder someone died getting hit by a board'. i actually had to look it up and i'm now more impressed by the asian play dead one. takes more creativity and work than just 'laying still'. :P
posted by usagizero at 5:27 PM on May 17, 2011
That was my first thought, 'no wonder someone died getting hit by a board'. i actually had to look it up and i'm now more impressed by the asian play dead one. takes more creativity and work than just 'laying still'. :P
posted by usagizero at 5:27 PM on May 17, 2011
First time I saw somebody doing this was a few years ago and I assumed it was a Photoshop. It's one of the few memes that makes me laugh, though its bizarre that its getting reported on the mainstream media.
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:09 PM on May 17, 2011
posted by Lovecraft In Brooklyn at 6:09 PM on May 17, 2011
Jana Peterson (apparently a cast member of some kind WAGs reality show on cable TV) planks on the red carpet at the Logies (Australian Emmy award equivalent).
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:24 PM on May 17, 2011
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:24 PM on May 17, 2011
Don't blame me. I cleared out of Australia before this all went down.
posted by clipperton at 12:48 AM on May 18, 2011
posted by clipperton at 12:48 AM on May 18, 2011
fourcheesemac: "planking on railroad tracks"
Too late. That's old hat planking now.
posted by Philby at 1:34 AM on May 18, 2011
Too late. That's old hat planking now.
posted by Philby at 1:34 AM on May 18, 2011
But wait. There's more.
May my children never be that stupid.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 1:47 AM on May 18, 2011
May my children never be that stupid.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 1:47 AM on May 18, 2011
Isn't planking on a moving car sort of missing the point?
*refreshes lolcats*
posted by pompomtom at 2:48 AM on May 18, 2011
*refreshes lolcats*
posted by pompomtom at 2:48 AM on May 18, 2011
Wait - if you're planking "down under," then shouldn't you be lying face up? Or is it the northern hemisphere that is doing it wrong? Has to be one of the two.
posted by desjardins at 9:17 AM on May 18, 2011
posted by desjardins at 9:17 AM on May 18, 2011
It's caught on amongst IndyCar drivers. In their defense, there's not a lot for them to do on a scheduled practice day at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway when they can't actually practice due to rain, but don't want to leave in case it clears up and the track can be dried and they can practice.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 2:17 PM on May 18, 2011
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 2:17 PM on May 18, 2011
fearfulsymmetry: "lie flat, face down, in an unusual location, get someone to"
__ |\ | / \ | \ | | | | \| \__/ .posted by Rhaomi at 12:03 AM on June 1, 2011 [1 favorite]
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posted by ShutterBun at 5:03 AM on May 17, 2011 [7 favorites]