George short first
June 2, 2011 9:00 AM Subscribe
George Lucas Strikes Back the truth behind the prequels at last (SLYT)
The prequels have grown on me, especially the last one.
posted by Ironmouth at 9:13 AM on June 2, 2011 [4 favorites]
posted by Ironmouth at 9:13 AM on June 2, 2011 [4 favorites]
Starwars being actually quite shit was harder than no Santa to cope with.
posted by Samuel Farrow at 9:14 AM on June 2, 2011 [12 favorites]
posted by Samuel Farrow at 9:14 AM on June 2, 2011 [12 favorites]
Elements of Oldboy in the trailer (the imprisonment, the scrolling fight scene).
posted by King Bee at 9:15 AM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by King Bee at 9:15 AM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
A great idea that could've been executed a bit better.
Even a light parody can use a little plot consistency.
posted by grabbingsand at 9:15 AM on June 2, 2011 [3 favorites]
Even a light parody can use a little plot consistency.
posted by grabbingsand at 9:15 AM on June 2, 2011 [3 favorites]
The prequels have grown on me, especially the last one.
This is a banworthy offense, no? Mods?
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 9:22 AM on June 2, 2011 [31 favorites]
This is a banworthy offense, no? Mods?
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 9:22 AM on June 2, 2011 [31 favorites]
There was the dip of an oar — another. Then the voice came
again, and for the last time, sounding through the slight
surrounding mist, ghostly and mournful.
"The prequels have grown on me"
"Good-bye," we shouted together, hoarsely, our hearts full of
many emotions.
I glanced about me. I became aware that the dawn was upon us.
"The sun flung a stray beam across the hidden sea; pierced the
mist dully, and lit up the receding boat with a gloomy fire.
Indistinctly I saw something nodding between the oars. I thought
of a sponge — a great, grey nodding sponge — The oars continued to
ply. They were grey — as was the boat — and my eyes searched a
moment vainly for the conjunction of hand and oar. My gaze flashed
back to the — head. It nodded forward as the oars went backward for
the stroke. Then the oars were dipped, the boat shot out of the
patch of light, and the — the thing went nodding into the mist."
posted by CynicalKnight at 9:30 AM on June 2, 2011 [29 favorites]
again, and for the last time, sounding through the slight
surrounding mist, ghostly and mournful.
"The prequels have grown on me"
"Good-bye," we shouted together, hoarsely, our hearts full of
many emotions.
I glanced about me. I became aware that the dawn was upon us.
"The sun flung a stray beam across the hidden sea; pierced the
mist dully, and lit up the receding boat with a gloomy fire.
Indistinctly I saw something nodding between the oars. I thought
of a sponge — a great, grey nodding sponge — The oars continued to
ply. They were grey — as was the boat — and my eyes searched a
moment vainly for the conjunction of hand and oar. My gaze flashed
back to the — head. It nodded forward as the oars went backward for
the stroke. Then the oars were dipped, the boat shot out of the
patch of light, and the — the thing went nodding into the mist."
posted by CynicalKnight at 9:30 AM on June 2, 2011 [29 favorites]
The prequels have grown on me, especially the last one.
Some Lamicil'll clear that right up.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:32 AM on June 2, 2011 [7 favorites]
Some Lamicil'll clear that right up.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:32 AM on June 2, 2011 [7 favorites]
The neat element of the last one was how they made Anakin's rescue of Luke from the Emperor a mirror of the moment when he betrayed Mace to the Emperor. I thought that was clever, adding an emotional resonance to a scene filmed 20 years earlier.
The thing that really confused me about the prequels was why they chose to make Darth Maul, Count Dooku, and General Grievous separate characters. If they had been one uber-villain, who killed Qui-gon in EP1 and then was finally defeated in EP3 by Obi-wan, it would have lent an arc and drama to the whole affair that it was sorely missing. And I don't understand how ole' GL could have missed that.
I reread what I just wrote and realized I said "the thing that really confused me" as if they were otherwise good. Not what I meant. Honest. I swear. Please believe me.
posted by neuromodulator at 9:38 AM on June 2, 2011 [8 favorites]
The thing that really confused me about the prequels was why they chose to make Darth Maul, Count Dooku, and General Grievous separate characters. If they had been one uber-villain, who killed Qui-gon in EP1 and then was finally defeated in EP3 by Obi-wan, it would have lent an arc and drama to the whole affair that it was sorely missing. And I don't understand how ole' GL could have missed that.
I reread what I just wrote and realized I said "the thing that really confused me" as if they were otherwise good. Not what I meant. Honest. I swear. Please believe me.
posted by neuromodulator at 9:38 AM on June 2, 2011 [8 favorites]
Who hacked Ironmouth's account?
posted by Elmore at 9:43 AM on June 2, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by Elmore at 9:43 AM on June 2, 2011 [3 favorites]
The thing that really confused me about the prequels was why they chose to make Darth Maul, Count Dooku, and General Grievous separate characters.
More plastic action figures to license that way.
posted by briank at 9:43 AM on June 2, 2011 [13 favorites]
More plastic action figures to license that way.
posted by briank at 9:43 AM on June 2, 2011 [13 favorites]
Ironmouth: "The prequels have grown on me, especially the last one."
The force is NOT strong with this one.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 9:48 AM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
The force is NOT strong with this one.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 9:48 AM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
The thing that confused me was that they did not make Jar-Jar Binks, Queen Amidala, and Count Dooku the same character. Now that would have been an interesting movie!
posted by smrtsch at 9:52 AM on June 2, 2011
posted by smrtsch at 9:52 AM on June 2, 2011
I'll tell you one thing that could have saved the prequels in Episode 3: the destruction of Naboo. It would have mirrored the destruction of Alderaan, thus adding some poetic resonance, but better yet it would have killed all the Gungans.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:55 AM on June 2, 2011 [14 favorites]
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:55 AM on June 2, 2011 [14 favorites]
"This is a banworthy offense, no? Mods?"
One of the features of ILX that would never work here is an automated Suggest Ban button, that bans an account after it gets a certain number of votes (ten, I think).
But when I see comments like that, my immediate thought is "SB!"
(Love ya, Ironmouth.)
posted by klangklangston at 10:00 AM on June 2, 2011
One of the features of ILX that would never work here is an automated Suggest Ban button, that bans an account after it gets a certain number of votes (ten, I think).
But when I see comments like that, my immediate thought is "SB!"
(Love ya, Ironmouth.)
posted by klangklangston at 10:00 AM on June 2, 2011
I'M A BUSINESSMAN ON MY CELLPHONE!
posted by DU at 10:01 AM on June 2, 2011 [14 favorites]
posted by DU at 10:01 AM on June 2, 2011 [14 favorites]
The thing that confused me was that they did not make Jar-Jar Binks, Queen Amidala, and Count Dooku the same character. Now that would have been an interesting movie!
if you took the fascist elements of Dooku's sith philosophy and Binks' useful idiot qualities it would have made far more sense for Vader's life partner. I will leave the reader to decide which bits of Padme to keep.
posted by biffa at 10:01 AM on June 2, 2011
if you took the fascist elements of Dooku's sith philosophy and Binks' useful idiot qualities it would have made far more sense for Vader's life partner. I will leave the reader to decide which bits of Padme to keep.
posted by biffa at 10:01 AM on June 2, 2011
smrtsch: "The thing that confused me was that they did not make Jar-Jar Binks, Queen Amidala, and Count Dooku the same character. Now that would have been an interesting movie!"
You bastard. I'm picturing a physical merging of the 3 and now all I can think about is the potential romantic interlude between Annakin and this...thing. Now I'm swapping out Vader for Annakin. Ahh..that's better.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 10:04 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
You bastard. I'm picturing a physical merging of the 3 and now all I can think about is the potential romantic interlude between Annakin and this...thing. Now I'm swapping out Vader for Annakin. Ahh..that's better.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 10:04 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
Patton Oswalt on Lucas and his prequels.
posted by casual observer at 10:06 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by casual observer at 10:06 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
The most confusing part about the prequels was that suddenly everyone started talking about 'Sith' as if that was something in the original movies.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:14 AM on June 2, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by shakespeherian at 10:14 AM on June 2, 2011 [3 favorites]
I'M A BUSINESSMAN ON MY CELLPHONE!
I will confess I didn't watch the link and was just jumping in the prequels conversation, and I came to this post and I was like, "What the fuck is up with DU?" Then it clicked that oh, yeah, this thread is about something, probably.
posted by neuromodulator at 10:18 AM on June 2, 2011
I will confess I didn't watch the link and was just jumping in the prequels conversation, and I came to this post and I was like, "What the fuck is up with DU?" Then it clicked that oh, yeah, this thread is about something, probably.
posted by neuromodulator at 10:18 AM on June 2, 2011
I'M A BUSINESSMAN ON MY CELLPHONE!
That was the only moment in this I found amusing, actually.
posted by BeerFilter at 10:23 AM on June 2, 2011
That was the only moment in this I found amusing, actually.
posted by BeerFilter at 10:23 AM on June 2, 2011
The confusing part about THAT is that "Sith" is in the script to Star Wars and in the Lucas-penned novelization but isn't actually spoken by anyone in the movies
I am pretty sure that Mace Windu says "The Sith?" in disbelief in one of his conversations with Yoda, and I'm have a memory that Palpatine says something along the lines of "What a Sith you'll make" when he gives Anakin his "Darth Vader" title.
posted by DWRoelands at 10:27 AM on June 2, 2011
I am pretty sure that Mace Windu says "The Sith?" in disbelief in one of his conversations with Yoda, and I'm have a memory that Palpatine says something along the lines of "What a Sith you'll make" when he gives Anakin his "Darth Vader" title.
posted by DWRoelands at 10:27 AM on June 2, 2011
Mace Windu was not in any of the original movies.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:28 AM on June 2, 2011
posted by shakespeherian at 10:28 AM on June 2, 2011
The confusing part is how they got Michael Douglas to play George Lucas.
posted by owtytrof at 10:29 AM on June 2, 2011
posted by owtytrof at 10:29 AM on June 2, 2011
The prequels where:
1. to complex in comparison to the originals
2. had too much damn revisionism. Thank god Lucas never worked for the Soviets.
posted by edgeways at 10:36 AM on June 2, 2011
1. to complex in comparison to the originals
2. had too much damn revisionism. Thank god Lucas never worked for the Soviets.
posted by edgeways at 10:36 AM on June 2, 2011
With this movie, it makes the character of George Lucas pretty unsympathetic that he escapes without even trying to rescue fellow prisoners Robert DeNiro, Sting and Paul Westerberg.
posted by "Elbows" O'Donoghue at 10:47 AM on June 2, 2011 [13 favorites]
posted by "Elbows" O'Donoghue at 10:47 AM on June 2, 2011 [13 favorites]
pretty unsympathetic that he escapes without even trying to rescue fellow prisoners Robert DeNiro
Man remember The King of Comedy? DeNiro being funny without just riffing on a well-developed DeNiro persona? That was awesome.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:54 AM on June 2, 2011 [3 favorites]
Man remember The King of Comedy? DeNiro being funny without just riffing on a well-developed DeNiro persona? That was awesome.
posted by shakespeherian at 10:54 AM on June 2, 2011 [3 favorites]
I have not watched the link
adding an emotional resonance to a scene filmed 20 years earlier
My son, who is four, has been all Star Wars, all the time for the past few months. (He has never seen any of the movies, cartoons, or video games - everything he knows he's picked up from playground chat, some Galaxy Heroes we bought him, and looking at photos in a few books we have.)
He knows, from playground chat, that Darth Vader is Luke's father, and that Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader. He refers to Vader and Luke as "a family" and understands that Vader saves Luke from the Emperor because Luke is his son and "daddies always keep their sons safe."
It's very interesting to me that he and his young friends have such a different take on the story. Because all the characters have always existed for them, they make connections between them in some pretty complex ways. (I also think its interesting that, when quizzed, not a one of his playground jedi gang have ever even heard of Jar Jar Binks.)
His father and I are old enough to have seen the original films in the theater when we were in elementary school, and (although we own all the movies - in two versions *sigh*) we've more or less decided that we'll wait to show him the films until he can see them in the theater in 2012 (hopefully we can avoid the 3D). I'm hoping that when he actually sees the movies, he won't be disappointed.
posted by anastasiav at 11:02 AM on June 2, 2011 [9 favorites]
adding an emotional resonance to a scene filmed 20 years earlier
My son, who is four, has been all Star Wars, all the time for the past few months. (He has never seen any of the movies, cartoons, or video games - everything he knows he's picked up from playground chat, some Galaxy Heroes we bought him, and looking at photos in a few books we have.)
He knows, from playground chat, that Darth Vader is Luke's father, and that Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader. He refers to Vader and Luke as "a family" and understands that Vader saves Luke from the Emperor because Luke is his son and "daddies always keep their sons safe."
It's very interesting to me that he and his young friends have such a different take on the story. Because all the characters have always existed for them, they make connections between them in some pretty complex ways. (I also think its interesting that, when quizzed, not a one of his playground jedi gang have ever even heard of Jar Jar Binks.)
His father and I are old enough to have seen the original films in the theater when we were in elementary school, and (although we own all the movies - in two versions *sigh*) we've more or less decided that we'll wait to show him the films until he can see them in the theater in 2012 (hopefully we can avoid the 3D). I'm hoping that when he actually sees the movies, he won't be disappointed.
posted by anastasiav at 11:02 AM on June 2, 2011 [9 favorites]
The most confusing part about the prequels was that suddenly everyone started talking about 'Sith' as if that was something in the original movies.
I remember shortly after A New Hope came out, when it was just called Star Wars, and Star Wars cards were all the rage. One of them had a picture of Vader that said "The Dark Lord Of The Sith" and I remember being eight and thinking "What the fuck is the Sith?"
I think they also had Leia's last name as Organa and the full name of Luke's aunt and uncle, and I had no idea where in the movie they mentioned those things.
If someone with a time machine had shown me Wookiepedia, my eight year old head would have exploded.
posted by bondcliff at 11:04 AM on June 2, 2011 [6 favorites]
I remember shortly after A New Hope came out, when it was just called Star Wars, and Star Wars cards were all the rage. One of them had a picture of Vader that said "The Dark Lord Of The Sith" and I remember being eight and thinking "What the fuck is the Sith?"
I think they also had Leia's last name as Organa and the full name of Luke's aunt and uncle, and I had no idea where in the movie they mentioned those things.
If someone with a time machine had shown me Wookiepedia, my eight year old head would have exploded.
posted by bondcliff at 11:04 AM on June 2, 2011 [6 favorites]
The prequels have grown on me
Simon says silence the heretic.
posted by i_have_a_computer at 11:10 AM on June 2, 2011
Simon says silence the heretic.
posted by i_have_a_computer at 11:10 AM on June 2, 2011
Over the hill nerds on MeFi whining about Star Wars AGAIN? Must be a Thursday...
posted by i_cola at 11:12 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by i_cola at 11:12 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
A MeFite bitching because other people are discussing a topic that doesn't interest them? Must be a Thursday...
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:18 AM on June 2, 2011 [7 favorites]
posted by Faint of Butt at 11:18 AM on June 2, 2011 [7 favorites]
A MeFite bitching because other people are discussing a topic that doesn't interest them? Must be a Thursday...
No, dude, that's every day.
posted by bondcliff at 11:20 AM on June 2, 2011 [3 favorites]
No, dude, that's every day.
posted by bondcliff at 11:20 AM on June 2, 2011 [3 favorites]
Owen and Beru are both named early on in Star Wars.
Yeah, but only the first names. Their last name, Lars, is never used but I'm pretty sure it was on the cards.
I don't think Leia's last name was ever mentioned, and at eight I never read the credits.
I have a nine year old son, so I've seen all the movies at least twenty kazillion times.
I can very easily see this discussion turning into a fist fight at the tennis courts behind Metafilter headquarters. You should watch yourself, I have the death sentence on twelve systems.
posted by bondcliff at 11:26 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
Yeah, but only the first names. Their last name, Lars, is never used but I'm pretty sure it was on the cards.
I don't think Leia's last name was ever mentioned, and at eight I never read the credits.
I have a nine year old son, so I've seen all the movies at least twenty kazillion times.
I can very easily see this discussion turning into a fist fight at the tennis courts behind Metafilter headquarters. You should watch yourself, I have the death sentence on twelve systems.
posted by bondcliff at 11:26 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
grabbingsand: "A great idea that could've been executed a bit better."
hippybear: ""wow, that was embarrassingly executed but what a great concept""
The World Famous: "Awesome, but could be awesomer."
Are we talking about the trailer? Or the prequels?
posted by Plutor at 11:30 AM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
hippybear: ""wow, that was embarrassingly executed but what a great concept""
The World Famous: "Awesome, but could be awesomer."
Are we talking about the trailer? Or the prequels?
posted by Plutor at 11:30 AM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
my reaction was "wow, that was embarrassingly executed but what a great concept"
It's like the anti-Star Wars.
Then the oars were dipped, the boat shot out of the patch of light, and the — the thing went nodding into the mist.
I don't know what moment of genius caused you to link that story to that comment, but I'm glad you did. I read that story as a young'un and had completely forgotten about it. I'll have to read it to my kids at Halloween.
posted by DU at 11:50 AM on June 2, 2011
It's like the anti-Star Wars.
Then the oars were dipped, the boat shot out of the patch of light, and the — the thing went nodding into the mist.
I don't know what moment of genius caused you to link that story to that comment, but I'm glad you did. I read that story as a young'un and had completely forgotten about it. I'll have to read it to my kids at Halloween.
posted by DU at 11:50 AM on June 2, 2011
I'm as big a Star Wars geek as any of you--11 when Episode IV came out. Life-changing event! I own the original trilogy, but had seen Episodes 1, 2, and 3 only once each, at the theater. Funniest thing EVAR was watching Episode 3 with Mom, who had, I should point out, been there during my adolescent Star Wars phase back in the late 70s, you know, knew the story and the characters and all that. Still though, as we left the theater, she remarked (completely unironically) "Wow, you can really tell they're setting that up for a sequel."
I recently decided to give those another try, and I've seen Episodes 1 and 2 in the last month. Goddamned awful shit. Seriously.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:51 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
I recently decided to give those another try, and I've seen Episodes 1 and 2 in the last month. Goddamned awful shit. Seriously.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:51 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
Awesome, but could be awesomer. When the white van pulled up, he should have said "Oh, my God, they found me. I don't know how, but they found me. Run for it Marty!"
That was Spielberg, though...
It was Zemeckis.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:53 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
That was Spielberg, though...
It was Zemeckis.
posted by shakespeherian at 11:53 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
The thing that confused me was that they did not make Jar-Jar Binks, Queen Amidala, and Count Dooku the same character. Now that would have been an interesting movie!
The thing that confused me was that they didnt make Annie, Anakin, and Darth Vader the same character. Now that would have been an interesting movie.
posted by Billiken at 11:56 AM on June 2, 2011 [13 favorites]
The thing that confused me was that they didnt make Annie, Anakin, and Darth Vader the same character. Now that would have been an interesting movie.
posted by Billiken at 11:56 AM on June 2, 2011 [13 favorites]
Pretty high production value for kicking a dead horse here.
posted by hellslinger at 11:57 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by hellslinger at 11:57 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
He also executive produced Transformers 2, so at that point we're casting with a pretty big net.
posted by shakespeherian at 12:09 PM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by shakespeherian at 12:09 PM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
The trailer in the OP needed a bit more work. The concepts were sound, but it just felt sloppy somehow.
posted by ZeusHumms at 12:27 PM on June 2, 2011
posted by ZeusHumms at 12:27 PM on June 2, 2011
The prequels have grown on me, especially the last one.
Well there ya go! That was the last thing. We disagree about everything on the planet now.
posted by Trochanter at 12:32 PM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
Well there ya go! That was the last thing. We disagree about everything on the planet now.
posted by Trochanter at 12:32 PM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
edgeways: "The prequels where:
1. to complex in comparison to the originals
2. had too much damn revisionism. Thank god Lucas never worked for the Soviets."
3. Not enough Han Solo. Without a snarky antihero type to even things out, the Star Wars universe is way too stiff and earnest.
posted by brundlefly at 12:34 PM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
1. to complex in comparison to the originals
2. had too much damn revisionism. Thank god Lucas never worked for the Soviets."
3. Not enough Han Solo. Without a snarky antihero type to even things out, the Star Wars universe is way too stiff and earnest.
posted by brundlefly at 12:34 PM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
The only redeeming quality of the prequels was that they did not ruin Han Solo.
They made him shoot second in the freakuels. Which ruins Han Solo's character. Is he a good guy or is he a bad one is more difficult to determine if he shoots first.
posted by Poet_Lariat at 12:40 PM on June 2, 2011
They made him shoot second in the freakuels. Which ruins Han Solo's character. Is he a good guy or is he a bad one is more difficult to determine if he shoots first.
posted by Poet_Lariat at 12:40 PM on June 2, 2011
I liked the video. Reminded me of the Beasty Boys "Sabotage" video. The totally unrelated shoulder roll on the hood of the car was funny. Good stuff.
posted by Trochanter at 12:42 PM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by Trochanter at 12:42 PM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
"The prequels have grown on me, especially the last one"
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
posted by mrgroweler at 12:44 PM on June 2, 2011 [4 favorites]
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
posted by mrgroweler at 12:44 PM on June 2, 2011 [4 favorites]
I thought the prequels were fan made and totally not canon?
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:49 PM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by mccarty.tim at 12:49 PM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
Spelled it wrong. It's Beastie, and Sabotage is still hilarious, and really well done.
posted by Trochanter at 1:13 PM on June 2, 2011
posted by Trochanter at 1:13 PM on June 2, 2011
The trailer in the OP needed a bit more work. The concepts were sound, but it just felt sloppy somehow.
Somehow? They were wearing stick-on beards and plastic face masks. It was pitched for lo-fi.
(Unless, of course, you were aiming for irony. Needs more businessman-on-cellphone obviousness for me, however.)
Also, why does Princess Leia have a lastname? What's that about? I guess the royal family of Alderaan are kinda folksy, like the Dutch of something. But were there also conspiracy theories on her homeplanet as to paternity, like with picture of her sandwiched between portraits of Anakin Skywalker and Bail Organa? "WHO'S THE REAL FATHER OF PRINCESS LEIA? THE ALDERAANIAN PUBLIC DESERVE TO KNOW." Maybe angry Alderaanians took to internet sites to spread the truth about Leia "Skywalker", but nobody would listen. But Leia got pissed off, and conspired with her real father to destroy the gossipy Alderaan people, then used it as a pretext to kill the emperor and her father so her and Luke could rule the galaxy in their incestual monarchy forever...!!!
It all makes perfect sense now.
posted by Jehan at 1:21 PM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
Somehow? They were wearing stick-on beards and plastic face masks. It was pitched for lo-fi.
(Unless, of course, you were aiming for irony. Needs more businessman-on-cellphone obviousness for me, however.)
Also, why does Princess Leia have a lastname? What's that about? I guess the royal family of Alderaan are kinda folksy, like the Dutch of something. But were there also conspiracy theories on her homeplanet as to paternity, like with picture of her sandwiched between portraits of Anakin Skywalker and Bail Organa? "WHO'S THE REAL FATHER OF PRINCESS LEIA? THE ALDERAANIAN PUBLIC DESERVE TO KNOW." Maybe angry Alderaanians took to internet sites to spread the truth about Leia "Skywalker", but nobody would listen. But Leia got pissed off, and conspired with her real father to destroy the gossipy Alderaan people, then used it as a pretext to kill the emperor and her father so her and Luke could rule the galaxy in their incestual monarchy forever...!!!
It all makes perfect sense now.
posted by Jehan at 1:21 PM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
The prequels have grown on me, especially the last one.
FRANKENVADER!
posted by Artw at 1:29 PM on June 2, 2011
FRANKENVADER!
posted by Artw at 1:29 PM on June 2, 2011
Maybe angry Alderaanians took to internet sites to spread the truth about Leia "Skywalker", but nobody would listen.
Darth Sullivan won't shut up about it.
posted by Trochanter at 1:50 PM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
Darth Sullivan won't shut up about it.
posted by Trochanter at 1:50 PM on June 2, 2011 [2 favorites]
Is that a lady's gun, Mr Wint?
Oh you bitch, Mr Kidd!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:11 PM on June 2, 2011
Oh you bitch, Mr Kidd!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:11 PM on June 2, 2011
Wow, did I put that in the wrong thread (as it were)...
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:13 PM on June 2, 2011
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:13 PM on June 2, 2011
Billiken: "The thing that confused me was that they did not make Jar-Jar Binks, Queen Amidala, and Count Dooku the same character. Now that would have been an interesting movie!
The thing that confused me was that they didnt make Annie, Anakin, and Darth Vader the same character. Now that would have been an interesting movie"
The thing that confused me was that they did not make Darth Vader, Jesus, and Cool Hand Luke the same character. Now that would have been an interesting movie!
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:17 PM on June 2, 2011
The thing that confused me was that they didnt make Annie, Anakin, and Darth Vader the same character. Now that would have been an interesting movie"
The thing that confused me was that they did not make Darth Vader, Jesus, and Cool Hand Luke the same character. Now that would have been an interesting movie!
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:17 PM on June 2, 2011
obviously he would be played by Groucho Marx, in the breakout role of the century
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:51 PM on June 2, 2011
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:51 PM on June 2, 2011
The thing that confused me was that they did not make Jar-Jar Binks, Queen Amidala, and Count Dooku the same character. Now that would have been an interesting movie!
The thing that confused me was that they made Jar-Jar Binks, Queen Amidala, and Count Dooku have no character at all. If they had, that might have been an interesting movie!
posted by hexatron at 4:42 PM on June 2, 2011 [4 favorites]
The thing that confused me was that they made Jar-Jar Binks, Queen Amidala, and Count Dooku have no character at all. If they had, that might have been an interesting movie!
posted by hexatron at 4:42 PM on June 2, 2011 [4 favorites]
So the Young Han Solo trilogy awaits?
It sounds pretty good:
It sounds pretty good:
Most of the adventures revolve around phoney "spiritual retreats" operated by a horned Hutt subspecies named the T'landa T'il, where "pilgrims" from all over the galaxy are lured with the promise of spiritual solace and contemplation only to be brainwashed in submission, put to work in glitterstim refining labs and ultimately sold as slaves to the Hutts.posted by hexatron at 4:48 PM on June 2, 2011
The thing that really confused me about the prequels was why they chose to make Darth Maul, Count Dooku, and General Grievous separate characters.
Back in the day, just before the last prequel came out I scripted two Star Wars documentaries that were given away as free DVDs with the Sun and the News of the World--Heroes of Star Wars and Villains of Star Wars. I had no advance access to the movie footage or even the script for my research, but I dug around and it was completely obvious to me that General Grievous--the lightsaber-wielding cyborg who did Palpatine's bidding--was going to turn out to be Darth Maul rebuilt.
It made perfect sense. It brought the trilogy together into a single story, showed that the Sith could rebuild its fallen warriors, prefiguring Anakin's rebirth as Vader, and Obi Wan's discovery of Grievous's true nature would reveal the corruption at the heart of the Empire and sets off the events of the rest of the movie. And bringing things around in a circle, reintroducing elements from Act 1 into Act 3, this is basic storytelling technique, right? Not to mention the reveal of Maul's instantly recognisable face inside Grievous's carapace would be a fantastic "Oh wow" moment in the movie.
If you rewatch those free DVDs, there's some fairly heavy hinting in that direction, or at least indicating that Grievous has a hidden secret.
Does he hell. George Lucas, you idiot.
I think the explanation is simple. I think Lucas fell to the same disease that hit John Carpenter, Hal Hartley and others: he forgot how to make a good movie.
posted by Hogshead at 7:27 PM on June 2, 2011 [5 favorites]
Back in the day, just before the last prequel came out I scripted two Star Wars documentaries that were given away as free DVDs with the Sun and the News of the World--Heroes of Star Wars and Villains of Star Wars. I had no advance access to the movie footage or even the script for my research, but I dug around and it was completely obvious to me that General Grievous--the lightsaber-wielding cyborg who did Palpatine's bidding--was going to turn out to be Darth Maul rebuilt.
It made perfect sense. It brought the trilogy together into a single story, showed that the Sith could rebuild its fallen warriors, prefiguring Anakin's rebirth as Vader, and Obi Wan's discovery of Grievous's true nature would reveal the corruption at the heart of the Empire and sets off the events of the rest of the movie. And bringing things around in a circle, reintroducing elements from Act 1 into Act 3, this is basic storytelling technique, right? Not to mention the reveal of Maul's instantly recognisable face inside Grievous's carapace would be a fantastic "Oh wow" moment in the movie.
If you rewatch those free DVDs, there's some fairly heavy hinting in that direction, or at least indicating that Grievous has a hidden secret.
Does he hell. George Lucas, you idiot.
I think the explanation is simple. I think Lucas fell to the same disease that hit John Carpenter, Hal Hartley and others: he forgot how to make a good movie.
posted by Hogshead at 7:27 PM on June 2, 2011 [5 favorites]
The thing that really confused me about the prequels was why they chose to make Darth Maul, Count Dooku, and General Grievous separate characters.
You can sell more toys that way.
posted by Chuckles at 8:26 PM on June 2, 2011
You can sell more toys that way.
posted by Chuckles at 8:26 PM on June 2, 2011
No fan would make those prequels.
I dunno, man. Maybe Lucas left his scripts in a Korean apartment with the windows closed.
Dude.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:31 PM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
I dunno, man. Maybe Lucas left his scripts in a Korean apartment with the windows closed.
Dude.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:31 PM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]
You reached for that pun, but I like jokes that go the extra mile.
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:41 PM on June 2, 2011
posted by mccarty.tim at 8:41 PM on June 2, 2011
Scott Ross, a former exec at ILM has recently started a blog providing "insight into the business of film and VFX" and is telling stories of life under Lucas, like Banned From The Ranch
posted by the_artificer at 8:46 PM on June 2, 2011 [3 favorites]
posted by the_artificer at 8:46 PM on June 2, 2011 [3 favorites]
You reached for that pun
You are correct, sir. Should've gone with just, "A Korean fan might," with the explanatory link in the period.
I know that now.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:26 PM on June 2, 2011
You are correct, sir. Should've gone with just, "A Korean fan might," with the explanatory link in the period.
I know that now.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:26 PM on June 2, 2011
That was a nice (light hearted?) pile up Ironmouth.
Don't worry, dude, I've already gone on record for finding redeemable qualities about the prequels. You're not alone!
posted by Atreides at 4:59 AM on June 3, 2011
Don't worry, dude, I've already gone on record for finding redeemable qualities about the prequels. You're not alone!
posted by Atreides at 4:59 AM on June 3, 2011
Not to mention the reveal of Maul's instantly recognisable face inside Grievous's carapace would be a fantastic "Oh wow" moment in the movie.
This might be my favorite Thing That Would Make The Prequels Suck Less ever. It could even echo the reveal of Luke's face inside Vader's helmet in Empire.
posted by EarBucket at 5:24 AM on June 3, 2011
This might be my favorite Thing That Would Make The Prequels Suck Less ever. It could even echo the reveal of Luke's face inside Vader's helmet in Empire.
posted by EarBucket at 5:24 AM on June 3, 2011
quality trailer, if only true it was...
posted by derekmallard at 8:22 AM on June 3, 2011
posted by derekmallard at 8:22 AM on June 3, 2011
The thing that confused me was that they did not make Darth Vader, Jesus, and Cool Hand Luke the same character.
They did.
posted by Optamystic at 9:16 AM on June 3, 2011
They did.
posted by Optamystic at 9:16 AM on June 3, 2011
I prefer to imagine that there were no sequels or prequels at all, and that Star Wars is the story of ordinary people who become heroes in extraordinary circumstances, rather than a power struggle among a superpowered aristocracy.
posted by KS at 9:21 AM on June 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
posted by KS at 9:21 AM on June 3, 2011 [2 favorites]
Don't worry, dude, I've already gone on record for finding redeemable qualities about the prequels. You're not alone!
I could think of a few:
1. Their number is finite.
2. Their length is finite.
3. Viewership is voluntary.
4. Viewers can opt out at any point.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:47 AM on June 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
I could think of a few:
1. Their number is finite.
2. Their length is finite.
3. Viewership is voluntary.
4. Viewers can opt out at any point.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:47 AM on June 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
Lucas is no doubt working on the technology to change all of those.
posted by Artw at 9:55 AM on June 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by Artw at 9:55 AM on June 3, 2011 [1 favorite]
The thing that gets me about that Banned From the Ranch story is that the guy could be senior V.P. and only have met George Lucas once.
posted by neuromodulator at 11:30 PM on June 3, 2011
posted by neuromodulator at 11:30 PM on June 3, 2011
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posted by phunniemee at 9:07 AM on June 2, 2011 [1 favorite]