A German Shephard, a suit, a jar of peanut butter, a spoon, and laughter
April 3, 2013 6:22 AM   Subscribe

 
"Eating like a person" seems inaccurate. I never put down a plate when I'm going to lick peanut butter directly out of the jar.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:26 AM on April 3, 2013 [3 favorites]


I appreciate the unbridled "lost his shit" laughter.
posted by Fizz at 6:29 AM on April 3, 2013 [18 favorites]


I think the main reason I found this funny was how it was all just going completely wrong.
posted by ACair at 6:41 AM on April 3, 2013 [3 favorites]


Awwww. This reminds me of my dogs helping me make my lunches for work. (They stand around eating bologna and wagging their tails. We all contribute!)
posted by Infinity_8 at 6:46 AM on April 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh, man, this is PRICELESS. On watching it a second time I noticed that there were gestures I missed the first time because I was laughing too hard.

ACair, you might appreciate this video in which Odin attempts to enjoy some ice cream and a beer.
posted by Westringia F. at 6:58 AM on April 3, 2013 [3 favorites]


Awww, reminds me of this Sesame St clip of dogs baking bread for their homemade sandwiches.
posted by maryrussell at 7:02 AM on April 3, 2013 [5 favorites]


The crazy laughter makes this disturbing, more than anything.
posted by BlueMarble72 at 7:06 AM on April 3, 2013 [7 favorites]


I came back from one of my regular trips to the countryside with the usual bounty of rustic treats for my friends: old-fashioned hard candies, somewhat exotic preserves, fudge made without preservatives, and this time, an enormous tub of Amish-made peanut butter. I was told at the outlet that the folks out near the Kansas border who made this stuff were getting out of the peanut butter business, as there was just no profit in it for them. I bought the last tub, the head-sized tub, of Amish peanut butter there was to be had in these parts.

Naturally, I dispensed these items as quickly as possible. Fudge without preservatives built-in tends to go bad rather quickly. I have seen with my own eyes various kingdoms take root with alarming speed in other soft treats, including a peanut "crunch bar" which, after only ten days' neglect, looked as if Jordy Verrill had been fiddling with it prior to his bath. After stowing the items in cupboards and on counters, we all went out to dinner. Nothing had been sampled or even opened for sniffing. The dog was sleeping the uneasy sleep of the satisfied-but-guilty-and-uncomfortably-full in a corner of the home.

When we returned, there in the middle of the floor was a perfectly clean plastic tub. I examined the tub. It had been so thoroughly scoured of peanut butter that only a faint smell remained; no visual trace evidence was to be had, not even along recessed rims. Somehow, the normally unmaneuverable, corpulent canine had managed to get her bulk all the way to the back of the counter to get at the tub. She then removed the lid (not an easy feat), peeled off the seal, and then had had at it. The lid, off to the side, was in excellent condition. Everything could use a rinse in hot water and be ready for re-use.

The previous owners of the peanut butter were afraid I would be ticked off, but I just laughed. "Call me," I said, beginning a request I hope to be unique to this lifetime, "tomorrow about the dog's morning b.m. I bet it will be spectacular."

The moral of the story is that dogs will eat peanut butter until there is no more peanut butter which can be eaten. Can be. Not may be or is advisable to be. Just can be.

I have a similar but more horrible story for another day.
posted by adipocere at 7:24 AM on April 3, 2013 [35 favorites]


And now we see that what separates the art of William Wegman from YouTube viral video sensation is the absence of a laugh track!


(...the laughter was pretty infectious)
posted by This_Will_Be_Good at 7:34 AM on April 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


The laughter was very infectious.
posted by de at 7:37 AM on April 3, 2013


"Just give me all the peanut butter you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, "Give me a lot of peanut butter." What I said was, "Give me all the peanut butter you have". Do you understand?"
posted by orme at 7:39 AM on April 3, 2013 [20 favorites]


It's weird and awesome how sad his eyes continue to look as he mows through the peanut butter.
posted by COBRA! at 7:41 AM on April 3, 2013 [4 favorites]


This is what I needed this morning. A different kind of tears filled my eyes, thanks.
posted by Sternmeyer at 7:47 AM on April 3, 2013


Oh my god, the laughter. I love this so much.
posted by DingoMutt at 7:56 AM on April 3, 2013


I have a similar but more horrible story for another day.

Please tell us this isn't the story of the dog's BM.
posted by arcticseal at 8:14 AM on April 3, 2013 [2 favorites]


I too was reminded of the Sesame Street dogs with the human hands. I found it impossible not to laugh. So cute! Thanks!
posted by onlyconnect at 8:19 AM on April 3, 2013


Related.

One day, a very long time ago, we had the grandparents and extended family over for Easter. The ham had just been triumphantly placed in the center of the table, and my mom turned to go get side dishes.

Suddenly Jake, our *very* large collie, runs to the table, reaches up, grabs the entire ham and flies straight out the back door.

We looked at each other dumbfounded, then sat down to enjoy an Easter dinner of side dishes.

Jake? Jake had the most miserable gastric distress for three days. But, if you looked him in the eye, you could *clearly* see what he was thinking as the poor thing had to go outside, again *RIGHT NOW*. It was simple.

"It was *SO* worth it."
posted by eriko at 8:25 AM on April 3, 2013 [3 favorites]


This just goes to show that the "best video on YouTube" thing really was a gag, because in reality it would have taken about twelve seconds to give out the award.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:27 AM on April 3, 2013


They had a good concept here. What they failed to account for is that DOGS AND PEANUT BUTTER NOM NOM NOM
posted by NedKoppel at 8:31 AM on April 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


That justifies youtube's existence alone. Thanks for sharing.

One tip for future reference though: it you be helpful if you put the "A German Shepherd, a suit, a jar of peanut butter, a spoon and laughter" in the body of the post and then put the throwaway line about the tin in the title so that people who don't see titles have some context.

Now to go back to watching this over and over.
posted by dios at 8:35 AM on April 3, 2013 [3 favorites]


My pets are adamantly against wearing clothes, so if I had tried this, it would have started off ok, then there would have been a moment where the clothes versus food just became too much and the camera would have gone to static as there was a furry supernova of frenetic energy that exploded sending peanut butter and scraps of cloth everywhere.

When the camera recovered, you'd see a cattle dog sitting on the table eating out of the vaporized remains of the jar, with a slightly concussed quin slumped in the corner.

Which is to say, I'll try putting this together this weekend.
posted by quin at 8:57 AM on April 3, 2013 [8 favorites]


I can only assume the dude laughing so hard he was crying was actually crying because he's high as a kite and desperately wanted some of that peanut butter.
posted by olinerd at 9:12 AM on April 3, 2013


This is not altogether different from what happened when I got a jar of Speculoos Cookie Butter from Trader Joes based on that mefi thread a few weeks ago. Even the maniacal laughter. The only real difference is that I am not a dog. Not that you would know that with this being the internet and all.
posted by srboisvert at 9:21 AM on April 3, 2013 [8 favorites]


Why did they put the cap back on the jar? Are they going to use that peanut butter again?
posted by Kevin Street at 9:31 AM on April 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


Why did they put the cap back on the jar? Are they going to use that peanut butter again?

When I had a dog, I had a special Dog Peanut Butter jar (labeled as such) to avoid accidental contamination if I had to double-dip a spoon or knife while filling a Kong or other toy.
posted by olinerd at 9:39 AM on April 3, 2013 [4 favorites]


I laughed almost as hard as a camera man.

Why did they put the cap back on the jar? Are they going to use that peanut butter again?

I don't know about those guys, but I have a jar of peanut butter just for my dog. I don't like peanut butter but there are few things more entertaining than watching a puppy (try to) eat the stuff.
posted by lunasol at 9:41 AM on April 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


I too have a jar of peanut butter labeled in big, black Sharpie letters on the top "DAWG"
posted by HuronBob at 9:46 AM on April 3, 2013 [3 favorites]


Speculoos Cookie Butter from Trader Joes based on that mefi thread a few weeks ago

There was a thread on cookie butter and I missed it!?
posted by phunniemee at 9:47 AM on April 3, 2013


And yeah, it's amazing what dogs will do to get to peanut butter. I left a (tightly sealed) jar on my coffee table one morning, and came home to discover the lid removed -- with minimal teeth marks and no damage to the jar itself -- and the jar completely cleaned out.

Also, to be inclusive of our Antipodean dog-owning friends, I brought home a squeeze tube of Vegemite once from a trip down under, and had it in my open, still-not-unpacked suitcase when I left for work one morning. Came home to the most horrific smell in my apartment and a not-at-all-guilty-looking dog who still had bits of the stuff around her muzzle, and a completely demolished plastic squeeze tube. You might think I learned my lesson here, but no. No. The next trip I brought it back in a glass jar -- see, much smarter -- but again briefly left it in an open, still-not-unpacked suitcase. Came home, lid removed, protective cover removed, glass lip chipped just enough to (I'm guessing) get the lid off, Vegemite gone, apartment smelly.

My Australian partner cannot understand how I eat the quantity of peanut butter that I do, and I similarly cannot understand how he eats Vegemite like he does, but obviously whatever that particular quality these foods have for their cultural owners is like crack for dogs.

Also I'm pretty sure my dog grew opposable thumbs when I left the house, but I never got any video evidence...
posted by olinerd at 9:53 AM on April 3, 2013 [1 favorite]




I have two dogs, and save used peanut butter jars in the freezer for rainy day treats for them.

The smarter dog see profile pic will lay on the ground, holding the jar with one paw and stick his muzzle in the opening.

The other dog just chews through the jar.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 10:05 AM on April 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


Picky pooches pick Peter Pan peanut butter
It's the peanut butter picky pooches pick
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:10 AM on April 3, 2013 [2 favorites]


helpful if you put the "A German Shepherd, a suit, a jar of peanut butter, a spoon and laughter" in the body of the post and then put the throwaway line about the tin in the title so that people who don't see titles have some context.

Seriously. The problem with the post is it says nothing on the tin.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:20 AM on April 3, 2013


Does what it says on the Rin Tin Tin. sad trombone
posted by stltony at 11:56 AM on April 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


Re the special DOG PEANUT BUTTER, I do this too, but I just buy whatever the cheapest peanut butter is regardless of brand for his jar, because he is a dog and does not have brand loyalty. The "Simply Jif" is for me. No need to write "DOG" and "SARA" anywhere.

To be perfectly frank, my dog has an entire shelf in the fridge of foods I don't eat -- a thing of chopped up hot dog, the brand of lunch meat I think is too slimy and thickly sliced for human consumption, leftover brown rice, some whipped cream cheese for kongs.

It's like having a roommate, really.
posted by Sara C. at 3:00 PM on April 3, 2013 [3 favorites]


No need to write "DOG" and "SARA" anywhere.

Until company comes, and decides that a P&J Sandwich is in order.....
posted by HuronBob at 3:51 PM on April 3, 2013


You assume I have friends.
posted by Sara C. at 4:21 PM on April 3, 2013 [2 favorites]


As the dispenser of magical foodstuffs, you definitely have one!
posted by Kevin Street at 4:34 PM on April 3, 2013 [2 favorites]


When my parents' yellow lab was but a pup of about nine months (so already pretty fully grown but still basically a puppy), during her first Christmas with them, she was let put out on the covered porch so as not to frighten the grandsons (ages 3 and 1). Somehow, somebody forgot that the Chocolate Mousse had been left on a high table on the same porch. The obvious happened.

Chocolate (even the greatly watered down version of it in mousse) is terrible for dogs, Terrible, terrible. We were very very lucky that she didn't get extremely sick or even die.

That said, this pup looked up at us, her muzzle covered with chocolate mousse, as if we'd just given her the greatest gift a human could give a dog and couldn't understand our extreme agitation and concern.

The worst that happened (and again, we were lucky) was that she seemed to produce mousse from the other end for three or four days.

That was seven years ago and to this day, whenever she goes out on that porch, the first thing she does is try to check the high table.
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:50 PM on April 3, 2013 [6 favorites]


When I was a kid, there was almost nothing funnier than giving the dog a peanut butter sandwich and watch his deliriously happy struggle to dis-attach it from the roof of his mouth.

(The thing that was funnier was giving him an Alka-seltzer tablet.)

I never said we were smart children.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 7:40 PM on April 3, 2013


Surprised no one's linked this yet.
posted by dobbs at 8:04 PM on April 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


My friend has a really sweet old dog* who has bad separation anxiety. He's able to take her to work and such so it's fairly rare she's left alone for too long. However, he does have to leave her sometimes. So he'll spread peanut butter all over and inside a rawhide bone and give her that.

She won't even notice when he leaves sometimes when he does this. We've even caught her still being distracted by it when we've returned and she'll suddenly act like "Oh, but you left me, you're terrible!" when we know she spent an hour trying to lick all the peanut butter out of all the hard to reach bits of the rawhide.

Dogs and peanut butter is one of the best things. It never stops being amazing.

*She's definitely not my dog, but I love her bunches and she's my buddy. She even has a little spot in my apartment when she comes to visit. I sort of explain my relationship with her like this: "Imagine you had a cousin you were really close with. Now imagine that cousin is a dog."
posted by darksong at 8:11 PM on April 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


That was cute, but I wish I was even half as high as the guy who was filming this.
posted by Space Kitty at 8:21 PM on April 3, 2013


Don't you mean: exactly what it says on the Rin Tin Tin?
posted by Twang at 9:29 PM on April 3, 2013


Darksong,I have one of those also. I call her my God-dog.
posted by double bubble at 6:17 AM on April 4, 2013


My coworker came in to see what all the laughing was about, and then he showed me this video.
posted by hydrophonic at 12:20 PM on April 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


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