WOW, that is a really cool jacket.

December 11, 2013 2:12 PM

Scary Compliments (SLYT)
posted by Evernix (99 comments total)

Is there a supercut of pranks that backfired on the pranksters, ideally in the form of black eyes and bloody noses? That's the video I want to see!
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:19 PM on December 11, 2013 [28 favorites]

As someone with a hugely sensitive and over-the-top startle response and fairly fast reflexes I'm 100% sure I would've punched him in the nose without looking.

I know because I once accidentally elbow-slammed someone in the gut who was doing something similar and didn't want to make noise in the library.
posted by The Whelk at 2:20 PM on December 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

Like this one?
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:21 PM on December 11, 2013 [10 favorites]

What a jackass.
posted by Oxydude at 2:26 PM on December 11, 2013 [4 favorites]

I was hoping this was going to be more compliments that sound fine at first but then slowly reveal themselves to be sinister, like Hannibal Lector complimenting your meaty calves or something.
posted by The Whelk at 2:29 PM on December 11, 2013 [14 favorites]

Weirdly, I had a coworker sneak up on me this morning and grab my headphones. He was trying to be playful, but I had had little sleep and was under a lot of stress, and my first impulse was to punch him repeatedly. Fortunately I suppressed it, but, really, do not invade people's space like that, ever. Because, even if they don't punch you, they will feel bad for the rest of the day.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:30 PM on December 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

Back in the day an old friend of mine thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me and lift my wallet when he saw me walking down the street... he was sooooo close to being punched out (I was doing martial arts at the time and it was pure reaction)
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 2:35 PM on December 11, 2013

Oh, hey, that's the Colorado State University library!
posted by mochapickle at 2:36 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

> I was hoping this was going to be more compliments that sound fine at first but then slowly reveal themselves to be sinister...

Or ambiguous; "You look like Marlon Brando." Compliment, or not?
posted by The Card Cheat at 2:40 PM on December 11, 2013 [13 favorites]

Like this one?

Scarily Accurate Complimentary Kick To The Face
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:41 PM on December 11, 2013 [7 favorites]

Is there a supercut of pranks that backfired on the pranksters, ideally in the form of black eyes and bloody noses?

Not a supercut, but here's one pretty much exactly like that. (warning: seems to be an America's "Funniest" Home Videos clip)
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:43 PM on December 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

Like this one?

What exactly was the setup supposed to be there?

Anyway, this one was always my favorite.
posted by echo target at 2:45 PM on December 11, 2013 [10 favorites]

Or ambiguous; "You look like Marlon Brando." Compliment, or not?

Party game: With which film does it shift from compliment to not? Starting at The Wild Ones and ending with the Isle of Dr Moreau.
posted by Diablevert at 2:45 PM on December 11, 2013 [7 favorites]

I have an idea for a viral video in which I walk past seated people in a cafeteria and noisily break wind just as as I go by. It'd be about on this level.
posted by George_Spiggott at 2:45 PM on December 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

It'd be better if they could come up with something more believable that "your hair looks good from the back," which would be creepy even if they saw you coming.
posted by echo target at 2:47 PM on December 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

Now you people have me imagining a hidden camera prank show starring the 1990s version of Marlon Brando, and it's glorious!
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:52 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yeah, the compliments are weak. It'd be a bit more natural if you jumped out, let people jump, and then feign an apology that you thought they were someone else.
posted by mochapickle at 2:52 PM on December 11, 2013

what is the deal with taking videos of making other people feel uncomfortable. It's not funny; stop it.
posted by angrycat at 2:52 PM on December 11, 2013 [24 favorites]

BART YOU WANNA SEE MY NEW CHAINSAW AND HOCKEY MASK
posted by Hoopo at 2:55 PM on December 11, 2013 [23 favorites]

"over-the-top startle response"

Same here. In 8th grade I was in a Haunted House and a big monster jumped out to scare me. I reflexively poked my finger through the eyehole of his mask.

When he finally got up off the ground I begged him to believe there's no way a twerpy 8th grader would do that on purpose.
posted by surplus at 3:00 PM on December 11, 2013 [6 favorites]

> Party game: With which film does it shift from compliment to not? Starting at The Wild Ones and ending with the Isle of Dr Moreau.

I'd go with either Last Tango... or The Missouri Breaks.
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:02 PM on December 11, 2013

"What a jackass."

exactly. Jackass audition tape.
posted by surplus at 3:04 PM on December 11, 2013

Okay - cranky old man here - and I know the joking is all well intentioned, but it creeps me out when the guys invade the personal space of women. The crazy thing - is most of the women apologize for being startled about having their space invaded while the startled guys don't. I think it says about about girls are still taught to always be pleasant and apologetic.
posted by helmutdog at 3:10 PM on December 11, 2013 [39 favorites]

"HEY BUDDY NICE TAZER!"
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:11 PM on December 11, 2013

Wouldn't the scariest compliment be something like "the new rug in your bedroom really ties the room together." from a stranger?
posted by The Whelk at 3:14 PM on December 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

I'd go with either Last Tango... or The Missouri Breaks.

My instinct is also Last Tango, but isn't The Godfather post-Last Tango? And I feel like "you look like Marlon Brando in The Godfather" is still on the compliment side. Well, maybe not to everybody...
posted by Diablevert at 3:18 PM on December 11, 2013

Wouldn't the scariest compliment be something like "the new rug in your bedroom really ties the room together." from a stranger?

Not if the stranger is Tim Gunn. He seems pretty stylish, so I'd look past the surprise factor.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:19 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

It's like these guys came up with the perfect triple punch of horrifyingly annoying random interaction. Let's scare the shit out of people for no reason AND tell them something specific and insincere that will confuse them for weeks AND lace that with a sense of paranoia about whether it was all some filmed prank for social media. This is why I avoid libraries and always keep my back to the walls.
posted by iamkimiam at 3:23 PM on December 11, 2013 [5 favorites]

As much as I'm not a fan of TV prank shows, you at least know that the victims have signed a release granting the show permission to air the video of them being humiliated. Or, with funny video shows, it's a safe assumption that the poor schmuck who fell off the trampoline wasn't killed or crippled for life as a result of his pratfall.

With internet videos, you can never be sure, so it's like you're always one click away from watching a snuff film.
posted by Atom Eyes at 3:25 PM on December 11, 2013 [5 favorites]

I was at a friend's house in high school, and her dad came up behind/alongside me and clamped his hand on my shoulder avuncularly--completely well intentioned. I jerked and screamed like Homer Simpson. That's how I roll! That family had a little bit of side-eye for me, ever after.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 3:31 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh, also, fuck these guys.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 3:31 PM on December 11, 2013 [10 favorites]

File this under "shit white people get away with."
posted by phaedon at 3:32 PM on December 11, 2013 [31 favorites]

"you look like Marlon Brando in The Godfather" is still on the compliment side.

It's like a compliment you can't refuse.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:40 PM on December 11, 2013 [5 favorites]

Or, possibly "a comparison I can't refute."
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:41 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

I've lived half my life in neighborhoods where mentally unbalanced people street people do shit like this.
posted by George_Spiggott at 3:43 PM on December 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

The difference being that they now have cameras.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:45 PM on December 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

But this is what actually creepy people do to test our boundaries. This is horrible.
posted by geeklizzard at 3:46 PM on December 11, 2013 [18 favorites]

What i wouldn't pay to see somebody scream "Worldstar!" and put this guy in a hospital.
posted by phaedon at 3:54 PM on December 11, 2013 [4 favorites]

Not only is the video irritating, but why the hell did you post it here?
posted by benito.strauss at 3:54 PM on December 11, 2013 [5 favorites]

Yeah, not funny. As somebody who currently has a weirdo I keep bumping into who does shit like this to me, this isn't funny at all.
posted by skybluepink at 3:56 PM on December 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

Wouldn't the scariest compliment be something like "the new rug in your bedroom really ties the room together." from a stranger?

The scariest compliment I have received MORE THAN ONCE AND FROM TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE is "You have a beautiful skull."
posted by Elsa at 3:58 PM on December 11, 2013 [8 favorites]

Maybe your skull is infact, extraordinary.

But I think it should stay in your head.
posted by The Whelk at 4:04 PM on December 11, 2013

"You have a beautiful skull. Yeah…yeah…nice shape, good condition…I bet Raoul would pay…Oh, I'm sorry, I drifted off. What were we talking about?"
posted by Sangermaine at 4:06 PM on December 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

But this is what actually creepy people do to test our boundaries. This is horrible.

Seriously. Did you mean to post this to the street harassment thread?
posted by jessamyn at 4:08 PM on December 11, 2013 [7 favorites]

Apparently, I walk very quietly (even though I'm like disabled and stuff and limp) and have a tendency to startle pretty much everyone I've ever lived with. I totally don't intend it; I can't figure out what I'm supposed to be doing that I'm not doing. Should I be whistling? Breathing extra loudly? What?

Of course, there's some childhood conditioning involved, too. Our house was very quiet. Dad would get upset at people being loud, including children, so I just internalized being pretty quiet generally. My sister and I both are very sensitive to the perception that other people are slamming doors. Car doors, room doors, whatever. Or cupboards. To me, that signals aggression, because it reads to me like an intentional act to be violently noisy. It's kind of fucked up.

I don't even like it when my footsteps make noise when I'm walking, either from the steps or from creaking. Sometimes I'll actually move nearer to the wall just to avoid creaking. Not to be sneaky, but because I don't like making noise when I move around the house.

That may have something to do with this whole "I keep startling the people I live with" thing.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 4:17 PM on December 11, 2013 [6 favorites]

Seriously. Did you mean to post this to the street harassment thread?

Yep. These are the kinds of jokes that are funny and ok between people of equal status, etc. Like, I don't know, friends who've known each other for a long time or something. Watching a dude scare/harass a bunch of strangers, especially women, just isn't the same. I turned it off but I wish at least one of them punches him.

Smart to do this on university property, though, since very few people are going to be armed or looking for trouble. Doing the same thing in the parking lot at closing time at a rough bar would be a very different story.
posted by Dip Flash at 4:24 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

and I know the joking is all well intentioned

No, it really really isn't.
posted by the bricabrac man at 4:33 PM on December 11, 2013 [4 favorites]

God and when this does happen the jerky " why did you jump so much har har" joking that usually comes after. You wanna scream "CAUSE AN UNEXPECTED LOUD SCARY THING HAPPENED YOU JERK YOU WILL BE THE FIRST TO DIE IN THE SITUATIONAL AWARENESS GAMES."
posted by The Whelk at 4:35 PM on December 11, 2013 [4 favorites]

That may have something to do with this whole "I keep startling the people I live with" thing.
Ivan Fyodorovich

Have you considered changing careers and becoming a ninja?
posted by Sangermaine at 4:37 PM on December 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

Presumably this has gotten around at the university in question by now, and these guys are in for a pretty miserable time for the rest of their student careers there. At minimum they're going to find it pretty hard to study anywhere but their own rooms. Or, for that matter, eat.
posted by George_Spiggott at 4:43 PM on December 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

pranks that backfired on the pranksters

This is the classic one all over the interwebs.
posted by anothermug at 4:43 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

I really couldn't watch much of this. You don't do this kind of thing to strangers. You just don't. Period.

This reminds me of the legitimate reason I've given friends for years as to why I don't visit professional "haunted houses" on Halloween: "What happens when they trigger my startle reflex? I'll attack them without even thinking, then how do I explain it? 'Oops, sorry! So sorry! Startle reflex...'?"

Because the haunted house places themselves don't scare me, nor am I easily scared, but my startle reflex can fucking knock someone out. I'm too afraid that if I'm randomly jumped on, I'll automatically attack the offender. Court is tiring and I don't want to go through it again unnecessarily.
posted by quiet earth at 4:45 PM on December 11, 2013

The other day, somebody who should know better repeatedly pretended to put hands on my waist, trying to lull me into believing he was just going to hug me (or some such nonsense), and not do one of those jab-squeeze-hardy-har-hars. I let out such a miserable howl of trigger-rich fear and distress that, judging from the look on his face, he. was. clueless. Now he knows better.

So yes, anybody who thinks scaring somebody is sofuckingfunny does need a wake-up punch. No apologies for expecting better behavior.
posted by datawrangler at 4:53 PM on December 11, 2013 [4 favorites]

Incredibly dumb "prank". Waaaay below the bar for Mefi.
posted by erebora at 4:58 PM on December 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

This is the classic one all over the interwebs.

OK, this is the first time I've seen this video, and I really need to know this:
Where did the little girl with the blurred face come from?? She appears seemingly out of thin air, and it's freaking me out!!
posted by Atom Eyes at 5:02 PM on December 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

There's something about this guy that I feel like he's going to end up working for the RNC, or Breitbart or something.


Anyway, I'm normally opposed to violence, but this guy is really asking for a beating.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:06 PM on December 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

Where did the little girl with the blurred face come from?? She appears seemingly out of thin air, and it's freaking me out!!

If you watch the shadows very closely, and look for a foot at around the 5.5 second mark, you can see that she's walking beside the father and daughter pair, and at some point appears to be turning around and walking backwards towards the snowman.
posted by mittens at 5:07 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Maybe your skull is infact, extraordinary.

... yeeeeeah, maybe, but (for example) you saw my head in person and managed not to croon out "YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SKULL" where I could hear you and wonder A. by what criteria you were evaluating and B. what urges such a "beautiful skull" might bring up in someone who's already demonstrated a willingness to cross some pretty well-entrenched social boundaries.
posted by Elsa at 5:13 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

I don't mean to make this All About Elsa's skull, but I'M JUST SO USED TO IT BY NOW.
posted by Elsa at 5:14 PM on December 11, 2013

Single Link LAHWF.

This is a new low for MeFi.
posted by charlie don't surf at 5:15 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

All About Elsa's Skull was my favorite book as a child.
posted by mittens at 5:16 PM on December 11, 2013

It's a pop-up book.

... well, pop-out, really. What? Don't flinch!
posted by Elsa at 5:18 PM on December 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

"Where did the little girl with the blurred face come from?? She appears seemingly out of thin air, and it's freaking me out!!"

As mittens said, she is almost perfectly obscured by redshirted-punching-guy as they both walk into the frame. Here's a screenshot where you can first see her.

I need something more productive to do, obviously.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 5:18 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Are these the same jackasses who filmed themselves giving gigantic tips to service staff?
posted by carsonb at 5:22 PM on December 11, 2013

Skull pop-up books actually exist?
posted by mittens at 5:23 PM on December 11, 2013

Here's a screenshot where you can first see her.

I like that this is getting the Zapruder treatment.
posted by anothermug at 5:25 PM on December 11, 2013 [4 favorites]

I like that this is getting the Zapruder treatment.

The gunshot came from the "Mini Balls" stand.
posted by mittens at 5:28 PM on December 11, 2013

We (Metroid Baby, ignignokt, jpdoane, diablevert and I) were approaching the train after trivia the other night discussing... what movie were we discussing? I can't remember anymore because in the middle of our perfectly lovely conversation a stranger leaving the station turned and yelled "JACKASS THE MOVIE!" at us, presumably as a recommendation or some sort of viral marketing? I suppose it was successful as I've forgotten the contextually relevant film and can only remember Jackass The Movie had nothing to do with it. I also seem to recall that the stranger had an accent and maybe a pork pie hat.

That is the stranger yelling harmless things story I have chosen to share this evening. Good night.
posted by maryr at 5:30 PM on December 11, 2013 [4 favorites]

When goons enjoy my exaggerated startle reflex, and fauxpologize, I cannot stop myself from making myself look even less dignified by noting, "You didn't scare me, you startled me." It's a secondary reflex, induced by hopeless pedantry.

Related: these are startling compliments, not scary ones. Elsa's is a scary one. (Elsa, are you by any chance follicularly impaired?)
posted by gingerest at 5:33 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Guess there were no tables occupied by two or three tall, heavily muscled student athletes trying to study.
posted by mlis at 5:42 PM on December 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

this thread is making my skull itchy i think it knows we're talking about it
posted by Elsa at 5:47 PM on December 11, 2013 [5 favorites]

Elsa, are you sure you haven't stumbled into a secret phrenology community? Because that probably wouldn't so creepy so much as ...

... well, I guess it would be pretty creepy, actually.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 6:02 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Alas, poor Elsa! I knew her, mittens: a Mefite
of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy...
Where be your gibes now? your
gambols? your songs? your flashes of merriment,
that were wont to set the comments on a roar? Not one
now, to mock your own grinning?
posted by maryr at 6:03 PM on December 11, 2013 [8 favorites]

Elsa, you might want to reconsider the photo you used for your profile page. It practically screams "Look at this skull! LOOK AT IT!"
posted by benito.strauss at 6:05 PM on December 11, 2013 [8 favorites]

Prithee, benito.strauss, tell
me one thing.
posted by maryr at 6:06 PM on December 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

Unrelatedly, benito.strauss, I had planned to change it today to match my other online avatars, but then this thread happened and I didn't have the heart* to deprive you all of that fat baby skull. I look like Charlie Brown.

*oh no are we going to talk about my heart too
i do not think i have the stomach for that
WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS
posted by Elsa at 6:09 PM on December 11, 2013 [6 favorites]

I could probably find something about your spleen at this thread if you like.
posted by maryr at 6:12 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

IT TAKES A LOT OF BACKBONE TO DO THIS YOU KNOW
posted by Elsa at 6:13 PM on December 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

Now, now, calm down. Don't lose your head.
posted by maryr at 6:14 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

*oh no are we going to talk about my heart too

Oh, throw away the worser part of it, and live the purer with the other half.


(did i do that right?)
posted by mittens at 6:14 PM on December 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

[HEAVILY IMPLIED CANNIBALISM]
posted by The Whelk at 6:34 PM on December 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

That may have something to do with this whole "I keep startling the people I live with" thing.

Do they ever close a door with a mirror on the outside and discover that you've entered the room behind them?
posted by mr. digits at 6:43 PM on December 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Go to the meat-market of a Saturday night and see the crowds of live bipeds staring up at the long rows of dead quadrupeds. Does not that sight take a tooth out of the cannibal's jaw? Cannibals? Who is not a cannibal? I tell you it will be more tolerable for the Fejee that salted down a lean missionary in his cellar against a coming famine; it will be more tolerable for that provident Fejee, I say, in the day of judgment, than for thee, civilized and enlightened gourmand, who nailest geese to the ground and feastest on their bloated livers in thy pate-de-foie-gras.
posted by mittens at 6:47 PM on December 11, 2013

I can attest, Elsa's skull really is something to behold.
posted by Random Person at 7:29 PM on December 11, 2013

The LAHWF video this seems quite derivative of is uh a better attempt at this.
posted by Aiwen at 8:08 PM on December 11, 2013

I know it's only tangentially relevant... but it's only 11 seconds... and as far as I am concerned, it's some of the highest laughs per second footage on earth.
posted by holist at 8:37 PM on December 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

What I was expecting out of this thread.
posted by maryr at 10:04 PM on December 11, 2013

Some guy at work I was flirting with - very early stages of flirting - came up behind me and put his hand on my waist. I instinctively jabbed my elbow back into his chest so hard he fell, and he never flirted with me again.

Yeah. This is not the way to go about getting attention.
posted by goofyfoot at 5:44 AM on December 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Elsa's Skull would be a good name for a band.
posted by surplus at 7:30 AM on December 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

On Monday, two coworkers decided it would be funny to launch a screaming monkey slingshot into my cubicle from behind. I was really deep in thought trying to debug an Excel macro. I tried not to scream loudly but I shook for the rest of the afternoon.

It's terrible that it's still deemed funny and okay to frighten people who have not voluntarily asked to be frightened.
posted by kimberussell at 8:12 AM on December 12, 2013 [4 favorites]

"Elsa Skull" would also be a great name for like the Maryln Munster person in a family of super villains.
posted by The Whelk at 8:38 AM on December 12, 2013

The VP of the startup I worked for about 15 years ago used to make space for himself in a conversation by putting his hands on my shoulders and physically moving me out of the way. (I'm 5'2", he was 6'5".) This irritated me beyond belief, so one day, when I realized he was headed my way, I took a long slow deep breath and then, when he touched me, screamed like an air raid siren, causing the entire open-plan office to abruptly stop what they were doing and do the cubicle gopher-pop.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I said with a smile. "You startled me." And he never laid hands on me (nor, I think, anyone else at the company) again.
posted by KathrynT at 9:54 AM on December 12, 2013 [11 favorites]

and then, when he touched me, screamed like an air raid siren, causing the entire open-plan office to abruptly stop what they were doing and do the cubicle gopher-pop.

Yesssssss. I used to try to stifle my reaction with colleagues and acquaintances, but I stopped some years ago. Now I let that startle reflex do its thing: screech or jerk or jump or put hands out ready to go on the offense. It's been a long time since I struck anyone who slipped up and grabbed me, but I won't be terribly sorry when I do.

Because
A. when someone sneaks up and invades my space, I am not the one being rude by responding with unpleasant surprise
and
B. THEY STOP DOING IT it is embarrassing for them but not me.
posted by Elsa at 10:09 AM on December 12, 2013 [7 favorites]

At my old job, this one guy was a stealth massager.

He was a busser, and he did it to most of the waitresses. You might be standing around talking to someone or putting orders into the computer or waiting to pick up something at the bar or a service station while holding a tray full of other drinks in your hand and...he'd sneak up behind you and start gently, gently massaging your neck and shoulders. His hands were usually a little damp because the bussers had to wear latex gloves for health reasons, so he'd be massaging your neck and shoulders with these damp, powdery hands in between throwing out one pair of gloves and putting on another.

Nobody ever dropped their tray! See, that's professionalism.
posted by rue72 at 10:15 AM on December 12, 2013

Yes, KathrynT! I was trying to write a comment recommending people not stifle their reactions, and you and Else described the how and the why perfectly.
posted by benito.strauss at 10:55 AM on December 12, 2013

Broncos fans...typical.
posted by Chuffy at 11:32 AM on December 12, 2013

Why don't you have a seat here.
posted by stormpooper at 12:58 PM on December 12, 2013

Fifteen or twenty years ago a guy dressed like a bush jumped out at me when I was walking around Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco. I got the impression from the people around me that I was a spoilsport for being furiously pissed off instead of honored.

I don't get the joke in startling people. I just don't.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:36 PM on December 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Thanks echo target, I was really hoping someone would post that as I had no idea how to search for it!
posted by Shatner's Bassoon at 4:52 AM on December 14, 2013