Stoned in the Mountains
July 26, 2014 6:37 AM Subscribe
Weddings in the era of legalization Before Jennifer Beck, 27, and Chase Beck, 24, were married on May 3, also at the Devil’s Thumb Ranch, they briefly discussed serving THC-infused cupcakes in addition to traditional ones...[they] ultimately decided not to include the special cupcakes, in part because it was springtime, the season when the rivers are raging with snowmelt and the bears are coming out of hibernation — not the ideal moment for anyone to be stoned in the mountains.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Poster's Request -- Brandon Blatcher
After reading that book which details -- in gruesome and specific verbiage -- the sound it makes when a bear is CHEWING ON YOUR SKULL while all spacy on Percocet with a broken elbow, I'm just gonna say right here: if chance of bears = greater than .0001%, I would like to be completely sober and preferably armed with a machine gun, please.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 7:14 AM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by bitter-girl.com at 7:14 AM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
Forget the bears, being stoned with my entire extended family is like the definition of my ultimate nightmare.
posted by Lutoslawski at 7:29 AM on July 26, 2014 [49 favorites]
posted by Lutoslawski at 7:29 AM on July 26, 2014 [49 favorites]
“Our whole life for the last five years has been cannabis, cannabis, cannabis...”
I kinda wonder if people (incl. the NYT) should calm down about cannabis.
posted by Flashman at 7:38 AM on July 26, 2014 [16 favorites]
I kinda wonder if people (incl. the NYT) should calm down about cannabis.
posted by Flashman at 7:38 AM on July 26, 2014 [16 favorites]
Guys. Guys. Edibles are advanced weed. I know, it doesn't seem like it should be that way, right? But it's true. If you're a newbie to weed, you should think of edibles as being basically equivalent to mushrooms. They're not something you have to have more fun at a party, they're something you have to drop out of the party and touch the face of [pick one] [god/the absence of god].
Don't Maureen Dowd the guests at your wedding. Pass around a joint, pass around a vape pen, whatever, but good lord, please don't feed edibles to amateurs.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:40 AM on July 26, 2014 [57 favorites]
Don't Maureen Dowd the guests at your wedding. Pass around a joint, pass around a vape pen, whatever, but good lord, please don't feed edibles to amateurs.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 7:40 AM on July 26, 2014 [57 favorites]
Sorry about your elbow, bitter-girl.com
posted by clockzero at 7:52 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by clockzero at 7:52 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
the sound it makes when a bear is CHEWING ON YOUR SKULL
I always assumed it was like biting on a tootsie pop to get to the tasty center except the tootsie pop won't stop screaming.
posted by elizardbits at 8:12 AM on July 26, 2014 [29 favorites]
I always assumed it was like biting on a tootsie pop to get to the tasty center except the tootsie pop won't stop screaming.
posted by elizardbits at 8:12 AM on July 26, 2014 [29 favorites]
When we were on acid, we would go into the woods... cause when you're in the woods tripping, there's less likely a chance you'll run into an authority figure. But we ran into a bear. That was even more of a buzzkill. My friend Dwayne was standing there raising his right hand, swearing to help prevent forest fires. We got away from the bear, he put his arm around my shoulder, he said "Mitchell... Smokey is way more intense in person!"posted by Metroid Baby at 8:16 AM on July 26, 2014 [29 favorites]
- Mitch Hedberg
I wonder how legalization has affected Colorado's caterers.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 8:21 AM on July 26, 2014
posted by BitterOldPunk at 8:21 AM on July 26, 2014
The one and only time I've run into a grizzly bear in the woods, I was high (in BC, of course). I was like, 'woahhh, dude, what's making that raspberry bush shake like that?.' Walked a bit closer and then this bear suddenly stood up on its hind legs, sniffing at me. I slowwwly backed away, and luckily, he or she did the same.
posted by Flashman at 8:27 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Flashman at 8:27 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
I... wait, bears? In Colorado? You're kidding me, right?
As a side note, a friend in Boulder mentioned that industrial property is rapidly filling up with grow operations. Power use is a concern in some places. Or, as a news site might say, "You may experience some unexpected side effects from marijuana consumption."
posted by underflow at 9:07 AM on July 26, 2014
As a side note, a friend in Boulder mentioned that industrial property is rapidly filling up with grow operations. Power use is a concern in some places. Or, as a news site might say, "You may experience some unexpected side effects from marijuana consumption."
posted by underflow at 9:07 AM on July 26, 2014
Yes, we have bears in Colorado.
My hairstylist lives outside of Georgetown, and she saw a black bear take down a deer50 feet from her house in May.
posted by freshwater at 9:13 AM on July 26, 2014
My hairstylist lives outside of Georgetown, and she saw a black bear take down a deer50 feet from her house in May.
posted by freshwater at 9:13 AM on July 26, 2014
Bears in my damn neighborhood (I live in downtown Colorado Springs). Legalization has has elimated the paranoia of law enforcement showing up at your house, but now I guess we're going to be freaking out about bears every time we hear the doorbell.
Also, can you imagine the best man's speech? It's going to take like two hours.
posted by bibliowench at 9:22 AM on July 26, 2014 [9 favorites]
Also, can you imagine the best man's speech? It's going to take like two hours.
posted by bibliowench at 9:22 AM on July 26, 2014 [9 favorites]
I... wait, bears? In Colorado? You're kidding me, right?
Bears. Mountain Lions. Black Widows. Scorpions. Rattlesnakes.
We are short staffed at work because my cow-orkers keep getting eaten by something or other.
Just stay away. Colorado is full, anyway.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 9:26 AM on July 26, 2014 [10 favorites]
underflow: I... wait, bears? In Colorado? You're kidding me, right?
Have you ever seen or heard of Colorado? Colorado is probably the fourth least surprising place in the US to have bears, right behind Alaska, Montana, and Wyoming.
posted by Mitrovarr at 9:28 AM on July 26, 2014 [16 favorites]
Have you ever seen or heard of Colorado? Colorado is probably the fourth least surprising place in the US to have bears, right behind Alaska, Montana, and Wyoming.
posted by Mitrovarr at 9:28 AM on July 26, 2014 [16 favorites]
I slowwwly backed away, and luckily, he or she did the same.
You did the only thing that was likely to work. Turning and running incites their chase instinct. A lot of bears are afraid of humans and if you back slowly away, your odds are decent of remaining unmauled. (Of course, my ex-husband was afraid of spiders and his response was to yell and smash, so it isn't All Good that they are afraid of us but it has a silver lining, if handled right.)
posted by Michele in California at 9:28 AM on July 26, 2014
You did the only thing that was likely to work. Turning and running incites their chase instinct. A lot of bears are afraid of humans and if you back slowly away, your odds are decent of remaining unmauled. (Of course, my ex-husband was afraid of spiders and his response was to yell and smash, so it isn't All Good that they are afraid of us but it has a silver lining, if handled right.)
posted by Michele in California at 9:28 AM on July 26, 2014
My friend had her outdoor wedding in Wyoming, where it was a) hella windy and b) there were bear-warning signs everywhere. There was no weed, but I wouldn't have partaken if there were, because I am fucking scared of bears and being high wouldn't have helped.
Note: don't have outdoor weddings where it's hella windy, because your bridesmaids' hair will look like shit in about 2 seconds. And they will resent you for it.
posted by emjaybee at 9:37 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Note: don't have outdoor weddings where it's hella windy, because your bridesmaids' hair will look like shit in about 2 seconds. And they will resent you for it.
posted by emjaybee at 9:37 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
> I mean, if you're going to have an open bar...
Sure, but would you have the boutonnieres made out of hops, and have the bride carry a bouquet of potatoes, and give out airplane bottles of tequila to the guests? (OK, maybe yes to the hops.) Themed weddings are weird.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:41 AM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
Sure, but would you have the boutonnieres made out of hops, and have the bride carry a bouquet of potatoes, and give out airplane bottles of tequila to the guests? (OK, maybe yes to the hops.) Themed weddings are weird.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:41 AM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
But, really. That uncle is bad enough when he's had a few drinks.As a person who has never used any drugs, including alcohol, but has spent a little time around people who did, I'd say there's a 99 percent chance that uncle is a lot worse when he's had those drinks.
Alcohol, beyond maybe 1-2 drinks, almost always makes people actively, aggressively obnoxious to be around. I'd much rather be at a marriage-you-wanna party. And I'm pretty sure I'd rather deal with a bear with stoned people around than with drunk people around, too.
posted by Hizonner at 10:04 AM on July 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
Certain, um, substances make me uncomfortably paranoid and unpleasant to be around. As long as you labeled the special cupcakes, I'd be okay with them being served knowing I could avoid them.
posted by tommasz at 10:10 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by tommasz at 10:10 AM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Truly the only thing holding back mainstream marijuana use is the puns. Please, please stop.
posted by bradbane at 10:32 AM on July 26, 2014 [8 favorites]
posted by bradbane at 10:32 AM on July 26, 2014 [8 favorites]
Bears. Mountain Lions. Black Widows. Scorpions. Rattlesnakes.
Well, that explains the need to legalize weed!
posted by chavenet at 10:34 AM on July 26, 2014
Well, that explains the need to legalize weed!
posted by chavenet at 10:34 AM on July 26, 2014
I'll be glad when the first rush of legalization is over and pot stops being about just how motherfucking high you can get. As a nondrinker, I just want the equivalent of an after-dinner scotch or a rum punch. Right now it feels like the dispensaries (in LA anyway) are just trying to make the equivalent of Bacardi 151 and jello shots.
posted by Bookhouse at 10:47 AM on July 26, 2014 [11 favorites]
posted by Bookhouse at 10:47 AM on July 26, 2014 [11 favorites]
Ugh. I can't wait for the novelty of legalization to wear off, even more than I can't wait for universal legalization.
I guess this is just an offshoot of wanting to shake every bride and groom yelling, "YOU ARE NOT UNIQUE. YOU ARE TRYING TOO HARD."
I dislike weddings.
posted by supercres at 10:48 AM on July 26, 2014 [9 favorites]
I guess this is just an offshoot of wanting to shake every bride and groom yelling, "YOU ARE NOT UNIQUE. YOU ARE TRYING TOO HARD."
I dislike weddings.
posted by supercres at 10:48 AM on July 26, 2014 [9 favorites]
I'm imagining how history will treat it. I suspect it's just going to seem funny and quaint, like if people had tomato themed weddings back when that was still edgy and dangerous.
There really is a kind of exuberance about it. I'm not all that into pot myself (worst Ernie Lundquist ever, I know), but still, there's something kind of exciting and wonderful about seeing it so quickly go from something people could have their lives destroyed over to something you can clip coupons for. A lot of people are really kind of giddy over that, and they're not wrong to be.
I mean, I think normal weddings are creepy enough as it is, and I can't imagine being stoned would do anything but exacerbate the discomfort. But I can absolutely understand why people are really, really excited about legalization, so I hope everyone has lots of fun and stays safe, and I hope they're OK with their grandkids maybe someday laughing at their quaint, old-timey marijuana themed wedding pictures.
posted by ernielundquist at 11:00 AM on July 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
There really is a kind of exuberance about it. I'm not all that into pot myself (worst Ernie Lundquist ever, I know), but still, there's something kind of exciting and wonderful about seeing it so quickly go from something people could have their lives destroyed over to something you can clip coupons for. A lot of people are really kind of giddy over that, and they're not wrong to be.
I mean, I think normal weddings are creepy enough as it is, and I can't imagine being stoned would do anything but exacerbate the discomfort. But I can absolutely understand why people are really, really excited about legalization, so I hope everyone has lots of fun and stays safe, and I hope they're OK with their grandkids maybe someday laughing at their quaint, old-timey marijuana themed wedding pictures.
posted by ernielundquist at 11:00 AM on July 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
A wedding where a bunch of elderly and/or drug-inexperienced relatives downed pot brownies would probably end like this.
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:08 AM on July 26, 2014
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:08 AM on July 26, 2014
I think my own wedding might be the only one I ever went to that I wasn't stoned at. Too hard to get away from the parents. Anyway, I approve of this trend or whatever.
posted by Cookiebastard at 11:11 AM on July 26, 2014
posted by Cookiebastard at 11:11 AM on July 26, 2014
Guys. Guys. Edibles are advanced weed. I know, it doesn't seem like it should be that way, right? But it's true. If you're a newbie to weed, you should think of edibles as being basically equivalent to mushrooms.
Yep. The number of people I've had to explain this too, ugh. And no one ever listens.
When I used to smoke weed all the time, it was basically impossible to get too stoned just smoking. But I once ate two small brownies and ended up having to hop off my bike and just lay in a greenbelt for a couple hours because I felt like I had been thrown from the car wreck of the universe because I wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
I've honestly been less fucked up off of "you did what?" doses of psychedelics.
And then I'll invariably find someone else I know who isn't really a marijuana enthusiast completely passed out and snoring on the couch at 2pm because someone offered them an edible. And it's just like, fuck I warned you.
It's basically the equivalent to serving huge amounts of Jell-O shots to everyone you invited, if they had no idea what those were. I can't really think of another way to describe time-delay booze. It is like acid or mushrooms where eating it has a delay like that and you can't really know how much it's going to "work" beforehand, but it will also make you incoherently stumble around and pass out face down in the bathtub like booze.
I honestly think it's fucked up that people harmlessly explain that it's like smoking. That's like drinking a beer. Yes there's some really strong tripels and barleywines and stuff out there, but you still at least kinda know what you're getting. It's like drinking 4 long islands back to back or something. And the people explaining it as not a big deal are usually heavy drinkers, so to speak.
posted by emptythought at 11:16 AM on July 26, 2014 [7 favorites]
Yep. The number of people I've had to explain this too, ugh. And no one ever listens.
When I used to smoke weed all the time, it was basically impossible to get too stoned just smoking. But I once ate two small brownies and ended up having to hop off my bike and just lay in a greenbelt for a couple hours because I felt like I had been thrown from the car wreck of the universe because I wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
I've honestly been less fucked up off of "you did what?" doses of psychedelics.
And then I'll invariably find someone else I know who isn't really a marijuana enthusiast completely passed out and snoring on the couch at 2pm because someone offered them an edible. And it's just like, fuck I warned you.
It's basically the equivalent to serving huge amounts of Jell-O shots to everyone you invited, if they had no idea what those were. I can't really think of another way to describe time-delay booze. It is like acid or mushrooms where eating it has a delay like that and you can't really know how much it's going to "work" beforehand, but it will also make you incoherently stumble around and pass out face down in the bathtub like booze.
I honestly think it's fucked up that people harmlessly explain that it's like smoking. That's like drinking a beer. Yes there's some really strong tripels and barleywines and stuff out there, but you still at least kinda know what you're getting. It's like drinking 4 long islands back to back or something. And the people explaining it as not a big deal are usually heavy drinkers, so to speak.
posted by emptythought at 11:16 AM on July 26, 2014 [7 favorites]
In Colorado dispensaries they do sell responsibly-scored chocolate bars (you know, break off one piece for one dose), but they also sell cookies with 100mg of THC (ten doses). Who eats 1/10th of a cookie? I bet there have been quite a few surprises among the ganja virgins here in Colorado who think eating the stuff sounds easier than smoking it. Maureen Dowd just happened to have a forum for talking about it.
posted by kozad at 11:29 AM on July 26, 2014
posted by kozad at 11:29 AM on July 26, 2014
Can we take a quick little side trip here into bear risk analysis?
The last known death by bear in Colorado was in 1993. (Well, except for 2009, but I'm not going to count someone who ignored multiple warnings about feeding major predators.)
By comparison there were:
133 drinking related fatalities in 2012 alone
91 people killed by lightning since 1980
750 chronic rockfall locations state wide, responsible for multiple deaths every year.
15 people dead this year alone in boating accidents
Running into a bear will mess up the day for you and the bear, but that's about it.
Now, getting caught transporting marijuana on federal land, like a national forest, might make for a somewhat worse experience.
(And, um, I've been in Colorado since '71.)
posted by underflow at 11:31 AM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
The last known death by bear in Colorado was in 1993. (Well, except for 2009, but I'm not going to count someone who ignored multiple warnings about feeding major predators.)
By comparison there were:
133 drinking related fatalities in 2012 alone
91 people killed by lightning since 1980
750 chronic rockfall locations state wide, responsible for multiple deaths every year.
15 people dead this year alone in boating accidents
Running into a bear will mess up the day for you and the bear, but that's about it.
Now, getting caught transporting marijuana on federal land, like a national forest, might make for a somewhat worse experience.
(And, um, I've been in Colorado since '71.)
posted by underflow at 11:31 AM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
maybe you don't want to read the amusing sign in the BC woods on your spacecakes maaaan......
Due to the frequency of human-bear encounters, the B C Fish and
Wildlife Branch is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and any persons
that use the out of doors in a recreational or work related function to
take extra precautions while in the field.
We advise the outdoorsman to wear little noisy bells on clothing so as
to give advance warning to any bears that might be close by so you don’t take them by surprise.
We also advise anyone using the out-of doors to carry “Pepper Spray”
with him in case of an encounter with a bear.
Outdoorsmen should also be on the watch for fresh bear activity, and
be able to tell the difference between black bear feces and grizzly bear
feces. Black bear feces is smaller and contains lots of berries and
squirel fur. Grizzly Bear shit has bells in it and smells like pepper.
posted by lalochezia at 11:35 AM on July 26, 2014 [24 favorites]
Due to the frequency of human-bear encounters, the B C Fish and
Wildlife Branch is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and any persons
that use the out of doors in a recreational or work related function to
take extra precautions while in the field.
We advise the outdoorsman to wear little noisy bells on clothing so as
to give advance warning to any bears that might be close by so you don’t take them by surprise.
We also advise anyone using the out-of doors to carry “Pepper Spray”
with him in case of an encounter with a bear.
Outdoorsmen should also be on the watch for fresh bear activity, and
be able to tell the difference between black bear feces and grizzly bear
feces. Black bear feces is smaller and contains lots of berries and
squirel fur. Grizzly Bear shit has bells in it and smells like pepper.
posted by lalochezia at 11:35 AM on July 26, 2014 [24 favorites]
As a nondrinker, I just want the equivalent of an after-dinner scotch or a rum punch. Right now it feels like the dispensaries (in LA anyway) are just trying to make the equivalent of Bacardi 151 and jello shots.
You can learn about common strains at Leafly, and find one that sounds right for you.*
A pot themed wedding (a weeding?) sounds like a good party, but a lousy way to share and celebrate one of the most important commitments of your lives. Save it for the after-reception hang with your wedding party and other close friends/family as appropriate.
*(For an after-dinner scotch or rum punch, you might try this or this or this. If you find a dispensary that has lab analysis info, you can check potency. As with all contemporary cannabis, use sparingly if a casual user, top shelf bud is definitely a potent product these days. For casual consumers, edibles are not recommended.)
posted by LooseFilter at 11:48 AM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
You can learn about common strains at Leafly, and find one that sounds right for you.*
A pot themed wedding (a weeding?) sounds like a good party, but a lousy way to share and celebrate one of the most important commitments of your lives. Save it for the after-reception hang with your wedding party and other close friends/family as appropriate.
*(For an after-dinner scotch or rum punch, you might try this or this or this. If you find a dispensary that has lab analysis info, you can check potency. As with all contemporary cannabis, use sparingly if a casual user, top shelf bud is definitely a potent product these days. For casual consumers, edibles are not recommended.)
posted by LooseFilter at 11:48 AM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
I kinda wonder if people (incl. the NYT) should calm down about cannabis.I smoke what one would describe as a shitload of pot, and I often feel the same way. I think everyone is just so excited to have legal weed in their state, and after a couple of years hopefully people will start to chill (heh).
I also agree with the people in this thread warning people about edibles. It takes zero time to get high when you smoke, but it can take up to an hour to feel the effects from eating pot. A former roommate of mine ate a firecracker (a homemade concoction involving ground up weed, nutella, and graham crackers) on Christmas Eve, and had a panic attack so intense that he's called off edibles entirely. I felt bad for the guy; I've had a couple of bad mushroom trips and it's not all that different from a bad edible trip.
posted by booticon at 12:13 PM on July 26, 2014
750 chronic rockfall locations
oh god help me, I giggled. I'm not proud of it, but nevertheless: I giggled.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:37 PM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
oh god help me, I giggled. I'm not proud of it, but nevertheless: I giggled.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 12:37 PM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
I have never done anything I regret while stoned. Now alcohol on the other hand….
posted by cjorgensen at 12:44 PM on July 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by cjorgensen at 12:44 PM on July 26, 2014 [5 favorites]
I never lost my shoes after I smoked weed, or punched a guy, or called an ex's parents' house at 3 AM to see if they had her number. Not that I would agree that there is no downside at all to smoking it like you are a roadie for Steel Pulse, but it's a lot less obnoxious at least.
maybe it was a bear that I punched, a bear who had crashed the wedding, it's hard to say after all these years
posted by thelonius at 12:54 PM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
maybe it was a bear that I punched, a bear who had crashed the wedding, it's hard to say after all these years
posted by thelonius at 12:54 PM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
Not much to add to but this: Like others, I'd be way too self-conscious to be high around my extended family, but I had a friend that once did a couple of hits of acid before his aunt's wedding, and he said it was fantastic! Only time he ever truly enjoyed dancing the horah. YMMV, as they say.
posted by mosk at 1:26 PM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by mosk at 1:26 PM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Oh lord I have tripped so fucking hard in so many mundane situations, school, work, family events, exams, driver's ed (it was an accident, a terrible accident but at least we did not HAVE a terrible accident) and never had a bad time. But just thinking about being stoned in any of those situations makes me want to weep like an exhausted toddler.
posted by elizardbits at 2:17 PM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by elizardbits at 2:17 PM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
if chance of bears = greater than .0001%, I would like to be completely sober and preferably armed with a machine gun, please.
You just need to know if you can run faster than at least one other person (per bear). And every wedding has kids and older people who can't run so fast.
the humor, it's so dark in here...
posted by SpacemanStix at 3:24 PM on July 26, 2014
You just need to know if you can run faster than at least one other person (per bear). And every wedding has kids and older people who can't run so fast.
the humor, it's so dark in here...
posted by SpacemanStix at 3:24 PM on July 26, 2014
Let me get this straight: you can handle LSD and its 9 hour long, 13 dimensional mindfuck at work, family events, and driver's ed; but the thought of blazing up before school makes you want to weep? Crazy! I'd say that's highly contrary to most people's experience w/ those drugs.
posted by foot at 3:34 PM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by foot at 3:34 PM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
The last time I took acid Bill Clinton was still President. And weed has always made me paranoid.
posted by elizardbits at 3:37 PM on July 26, 2014
posted by elizardbits at 3:37 PM on July 26, 2014
I am the tootsie pop, the tootsie pop is me, maaaaaaaaan.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 3:44 PM on July 26, 2014
posted by bitter-girl.com at 3:44 PM on July 26, 2014
The last known death by bear in Colorado was in 1993.
Yeah, known. Those ninja bears are the worst.
posted by yoink at 3:46 PM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
Yeah, known. Those ninja bears are the worst.
posted by yoink at 3:46 PM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
I happen to hate pistachio ice cream.
RIGHT? Why is it even green, it's like a double betrayal when you're hoping it might be mint chocolate chip instead.
posted by elizardbits at 5:09 PM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
RIGHT? Why is it even green, it's like a double betrayal when you're hoping it might be mint chocolate chip instead.
posted by elizardbits at 5:09 PM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
My vote for the Budweiser of weed would be Maui Wowie. If a newb smoked some of that and couldn't handle it then I probably would tell them it's not for them. Maybe they could try an Indica, but I'm not sure what would be an equivalent strain on that side. Usually Indica strains send me to zombie land so I just say no.
But, yeah, I'll eat an edible if I'm absolutely not doing anything for at least a couple of hours.
posted by P.o.B. at 6:13 PM on July 26, 2014
But, yeah, I'll eat an edible if I'm absolutely not doing anything for at least a couple of hours.
posted by P.o.B. at 6:13 PM on July 26, 2014
The thing about a bear showing up when everyone is really high is that once/if it goes away, there will be bears showing up for the rest of the night, even if there aren't actually any bears in the first place.
posted by feloniousmonk at 7:16 PM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by feloniousmonk at 7:16 PM on July 26, 2014 [4 favorites]
Random anecdote, but my friend(who is one of the biggest stoners I've ever met. In Seattle! That's like being one of biggest alcoholics in Alaska) passed his drivers test peaking on acid. He has similar comments about not doing things stoned. I don't get it at all.
Also, amusingly, stone cold sober he's one of the worst drivers I've ever seen or met. Like just awful. And he got a perfect score. It's a legendary story among my friends.
I have never done anything I regret while stoned. Now alcohol on the other hand….
All mine are food related.
See, I used to be a assistant/prep cook and cashier at a teriyaki/burger/seafood shop. I became a god at cooking essentially anything greasy, awesome, and non fine dining since I was allowed to make myself basically whatever I wanted sometimes and had to cook stuff for customers...
While totally blazed.
So I was very rarely a random lazy junk food stoner. No, I'd go to the grocery store and buy $50 worth of ingredients with someone else's money("c'mon man, this is gonna rule") after something like reading about the "bake pizzas right in your over on auto self clean" and make a fucking feast.
The culmination of this was a pizza with some basic toppings, baked macaroni on top of that, then another layer of all the pizza materials on top. Sort of a pizza-calzone-casserole hybrid. The slices were as thick as pie.
I think it probably contained 10-15,000 calories. I think several pounds of cheese were involved. It was just a monster. Me and my friend ate it in around 20 minutes. It was actually surprisingly balanced material/flavor wise and not soggy.
But yea, I guess I've never tried to strangle anyone to death on weed, so it's still a net win.
posted by emptythought at 8:20 PM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
Also, amusingly, stone cold sober he's one of the worst drivers I've ever seen or met. Like just awful. And he got a perfect score. It's a legendary story among my friends.
I have never done anything I regret while stoned. Now alcohol on the other hand….
All mine are food related.
See, I used to be a assistant/prep cook and cashier at a teriyaki/burger/seafood shop. I became a god at cooking essentially anything greasy, awesome, and non fine dining since I was allowed to make myself basically whatever I wanted sometimes and had to cook stuff for customers...
While totally blazed.
So I was very rarely a random lazy junk food stoner. No, I'd go to the grocery store and buy $50 worth of ingredients with someone else's money("c'mon man, this is gonna rule") after something like reading about the "bake pizzas right in your over on auto self clean" and make a fucking feast.
The culmination of this was a pizza with some basic toppings, baked macaroni on top of that, then another layer of all the pizza materials on top. Sort of a pizza-calzone-casserole hybrid. The slices were as thick as pie.
I think it probably contained 10-15,000 calories. I think several pounds of cheese were involved. It was just a monster. Me and my friend ate it in around 20 minutes. It was actually surprisingly balanced material/flavor wise and not soggy.
But yea, I guess I've never tried to strangle anyone to death on weed, so it's still a net win.
posted by emptythought at 8:20 PM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
See, I used to be a assistant/prep cook and cashier at a teriyaki/burger/seafood shop. I became a god at cooking essentially anything greasy, awesome, and non fine dining since I was allowed to make myself basically whatever I wanted sometimes and had to cook stuff for customers...
While totally blazed.
There was a place in Seattle a few years ago that was like a magical broken food replicator in that you would order, say, teriyaki beef and 10 pounds of buffalo wings would come out the other side. It was kind of fun, perversely. And the cooks were obviously constantly and unabashedly baked. Now it is a wine bar. HUMPH.
posted by Lardmitten at 8:35 PM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]
I... wait, bears? In Colorado? You're kidding me, right?
You're kidding, right? I live in the burbs and we had a friggin' bear waltzing all the way up to Wadsworth. Ever been to CO?
posted by aydeejones at 9:11 PM on July 26, 2014
You're kidding, right? I live in the burbs and we had a friggin' bear waltzing all the way up to Wadsworth. Ever been to CO?
posted by aydeejones at 9:11 PM on July 26, 2014
I was telling someone who lives in CA today about the Colorado hazards -- Plutonium running off from Rocky Flats which is placed upstream of Denver and has leaked into a reservoir used by the Northern Burbs in the Past, Sarin Gas bomblets and radioactive exposure in the Rocky Mountain "Wildlife Refuge" / Arsenal, giant jet fuel blooms under Stapleton. Then I thought "man, for such a beautiful place the military / aviation industry sure did a fine job of shitting it up real good." Is still pretty, but I have a cough for many reasons I think. A persistent one. *cough*
posted by aydeejones at 9:14 PM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by aydeejones at 9:14 PM on July 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
Oh and he was like "California sunburn bad!" Try being a mile closer, SIZZLE. Yes, we have enough Coloradans, please no more
posted by aydeejones at 9:15 PM on July 26, 2014
posted by aydeejones at 9:15 PM on July 26, 2014
Oh and I found a 30mm copper tipped HEAT grenade when I was 10 years old in an open field. But it was a rough neighborhood
posted by aydeejones at 9:16 PM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by aydeejones at 9:16 PM on July 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
Don't know if this needs its own thread, but the New York Times editorial board just published a piece calling for an end to the federal ban on marijuana.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:30 AM on July 27, 2014
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:30 AM on July 27, 2014
The NYT comments let people declare whether they are for or against legalization, and the comments currently stand at 1488 for, 73 against.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:33 AM on July 27, 2014
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:33 AM on July 27, 2014
Googled to see when Loretta Lynn did a song about weed, then realized you surely mean We've Come a Long Way Baby
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:46 AM on July 27, 2014
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:46 AM on July 27, 2014
There was a place in Seattle a few years ago that was like a magical broken food replicator in that you would order, say, teriyaki beef and 10 pounds of buffalo wings would come out the other side. It was kind of fun, perversely. And the cooks were obviously constantly and unabashedly baked. Now it is a wine bar. HUMPH.
Lmfao this is actually the same place. Sorry if I ever did that, but I'm pretty sure I was one of the "good ones".
At least the food was good though? :P
posted by emptythought at 11:00 AM on July 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
Lmfao this is actually the same place. Sorry if I ever did that, but I'm pretty sure I was one of the "good ones".
At least the food was good though? :P
posted by emptythought at 11:00 AM on July 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
It bums me out that edibles are such a bad idea, because now that weed is legal in my state, I keep thinking about trying it again sometime, but smoking anything is absolutely 100% completely off the table for me. I'm a singer and I don't need anything roughing my voice up. Le sigh.
posted by KathrynT at 11:10 AM on July 27, 2014
posted by KathrynT at 11:10 AM on July 27, 2014
The New York Times drug tests its employees.
For illegal drugs. Make this one legal and they will stop looking for it.
This also often has to do with insurance purposes. My last employer supposedly also drug tested. I worked there for 13 and had one test. The preemployment test.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:38 AM on July 27, 2014
For illegal drugs. Make this one legal and they will stop looking for it.
This also often has to do with insurance purposes. My last employer supposedly also drug tested. I worked there for 13 and had one test. The preemployment test.
posted by cjorgensen at 11:38 AM on July 27, 2014
You Put Your Weed In It: The forefront of edibles in Seattle
posted by the man of twists and turns at 11:56 AM on July 27, 2014
posted by the man of twists and turns at 11:56 AM on July 27, 2014
EDIBLES AREN'T A BAD IDEA KATHRYNT! they just have a really bad cliff where fail=amusing disaster.
every marijuana thread has bad trip/edible stories and ways to avoid them (which mostly involves wait, wait, WAIT for a reaction and have a babysitter) so i won't get into that. i think for those that are curious but risk averse, you can absolutely have a safe experience, but only if you're willing to end up not getting high and to try a slightly bigger dose the next weekend. that sounds like a lot of work right? and that's some of why people OD, bc they're partying NOW and want to definitely be high today.
i'm sad that people are leaving cookies around the house that their kids find, i'm sad that some folks are scared straight from their experiences, but i'm also sad when people get DUIs and alcohol poisoning and their kids find the pill cabinet.
anyways, like hippybear said, you might consider alternatives, and shit, since it's legal where you are, you could probably walk into a shop and ask them what their advice is for your needs, go home do some research, think about it and talk to folks etc. you're an adult now, you don't have to decide in 2 seconds at a party when someone offers you some shady something-or-other.
maybe it's a good thing that these stories are getting out there, i mean fearmongering never helped anyone, but i was experienced in marijuana including edibles when i had my one and only bad trip. i had no idea and now i do. i like the edible experience but i stay away-- not because i'm scared, but because guaranteeing myself a good experience takes more work than i'm interested in at the moment.
but man, when nobody gets hurt, bad trip stories are some of my favorite stories. i cannot do justice to the existential terror i felt when i thought i was a being without a body and that the universe did not exist outside of what i could see, but i'm glad i had that experience because i've never tried anything harder than weed and that might end up being my one and only story about an accidental hallucinogen. it was like finding out that weed, your friendly neighbor you've known for a decade, used to be a mob hitman. damn, weed, i didn't know it was like that son.
(and for context, it was a new batch, and i was taking the inaugural guinea pig dose. exactly the circumstances where you need to be safe, aim low, allow for failure to get high, but of course instead i ended up taking what i found out later was 3 times my normal dose or so. i woke up my housemate at 3am and the first words out of my mouth were something like "i'm sorry. i don't understand language.")
posted by twist my arm at 12:39 PM on July 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
every marijuana thread has bad trip/edible stories and ways to avoid them (which mostly involves wait, wait, WAIT for a reaction and have a babysitter) so i won't get into that. i think for those that are curious but risk averse, you can absolutely have a safe experience, but only if you're willing to end up not getting high and to try a slightly bigger dose the next weekend. that sounds like a lot of work right? and that's some of why people OD, bc they're partying NOW and want to definitely be high today.
i'm sad that people are leaving cookies around the house that their kids find, i'm sad that some folks are scared straight from their experiences, but i'm also sad when people get DUIs and alcohol poisoning and their kids find the pill cabinet.
anyways, like hippybear said, you might consider alternatives, and shit, since it's legal where you are, you could probably walk into a shop and ask them what their advice is for your needs, go home do some research, think about it and talk to folks etc. you're an adult now, you don't have to decide in 2 seconds at a party when someone offers you some shady something-or-other.
maybe it's a good thing that these stories are getting out there, i mean fearmongering never helped anyone, but i was experienced in marijuana including edibles when i had my one and only bad trip. i had no idea and now i do. i like the edible experience but i stay away-- not because i'm scared, but because guaranteeing myself a good experience takes more work than i'm interested in at the moment.
but man, when nobody gets hurt, bad trip stories are some of my favorite stories. i cannot do justice to the existential terror i felt when i thought i was a being without a body and that the universe did not exist outside of what i could see, but i'm glad i had that experience because i've never tried anything harder than weed and that might end up being my one and only story about an accidental hallucinogen. it was like finding out that weed, your friendly neighbor you've known for a decade, used to be a mob hitman. damn, weed, i didn't know it was like that son.
(and for context, it was a new batch, and i was taking the inaugural guinea pig dose. exactly the circumstances where you need to be safe, aim low, allow for failure to get high, but of course instead i ended up taking what i found out later was 3 times my normal dose or so. i woke up my housemate at 3am and the first words out of my mouth were something like "i'm sorry. i don't understand language.")
posted by twist my arm at 12:39 PM on July 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
It bums me out that edibles are such a bad idea, because now that weed is legal in my state, I keep thinking about trying it again sometime, but smoking anything is absolutely 100% completely off the table for me. I'm a singer and I don't need anything roughing my voice up. Le sigh.
Edibles are the stealth spirits of the THC world; as long as you make sure you're having a nice gin and tonic, rather than open-throating a bottle of JD, you'll be fine.
posted by Sebmojo at 3:19 PM on July 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
Edibles are the stealth spirits of the THC world; as long as you make sure you're having a nice gin and tonic, rather than open-throating a bottle of JD, you'll be fine.
posted by Sebmojo at 3:19 PM on July 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
Edibles have a very special place in my heart. Because it turns out that if you are a 22 year old women who has never had an orgasm, flooding your body with edibles might just push you over that edge. Anecdotally.
posted by showbiz_liz at 6:55 PM on July 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by showbiz_liz at 6:55 PM on July 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
For illegal drugs. Make this one legal and they will stop looking for it.
Not necessarily. Both mine and my wife's employers forbid MJ consumption at all, despite the legality. Now, granted, my workplace never tests and my wife's does "randoms" where they are using it as a pretext, but, no, I don't think making pot legal will deter employers from using it as a basis for firing people.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 8:56 PM on July 27, 2014
Not necessarily. Both mine and my wife's employers forbid MJ consumption at all, despite the legality. Now, granted, my workplace never tests and my wife's does "randoms" where they are using it as a pretext, but, no, I don't think making pot legal will deter employers from using it as a basis for firing people.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 8:56 PM on July 27, 2014
Not necessarily. Both mine and my wife's employers forbid MJ consumption at all, despite the legality.
Don't forget: it's still illegal, federally. I would guess that the first person to get fired for testing positive for weed after federal legalization would wind up as a test case.
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:33 PM on July 27, 2014
Don't forget: it's still illegal, federally. I would guess that the first person to get fired for testing positive for weed after federal legalization would wind up as a test case.
posted by showbiz_liz at 9:33 PM on July 27, 2014
I don't see why. Pot users aren't a protected class, after all. Besides, in every state, many jobs are at will.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 10:18 AM on July 28, 2014
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 10:18 AM on July 28, 2014
Huh. Could they not be considered part of a protected class if they are using it for a medical condition?
posted by elizardbits at 10:27 AM on July 28, 2014
posted by elizardbits at 10:27 AM on July 28, 2014
They should be, but so far, MMJ users aren't protected. But if it's legalized at a federal level, or maybe even if the specific laws and regulations cited in the decision change, someone can try again.
But as it stands, it's hard to imagine a more compelling case than Brandon Coats'.
posted by ernielundquist at 12:15 PM on July 28, 2014
But as it stands, it's hard to imagine a more compelling case than Brandon Coats'.
posted by ernielundquist at 12:15 PM on July 28, 2014
That road has been hoed in Washington, in the medical days. The answer was somewhere between "no, sorry" and "...maybe?" and the latter ones may still be mired in court or have settled or something.
I remember hearing the answer was basically no when I worked for a dispensary, but I also remember hearing other people involved talk about the court cases. Maybe I'll do some googling later.
It does seem like one of those "if you have a shitty job that tests(and I'm not saying all that do are necessarily, just one that's both) then you're not going to have the money to hire a lawyer and fight it anyways. So it's defacto "no".
On preview ernielundquist linked a case I was thinking of.
posted by emptythought at 12:17 PM on July 28, 2014
I remember hearing the answer was basically no when I worked for a dispensary, but I also remember hearing other people involved talk about the court cases. Maybe I'll do some googling later.
It does seem like one of those "if you have a shitty job that tests(and I'm not saying all that do are necessarily, just one that's both) then you're not going to have the money to hire a lawyer and fight it anyways. So it's defacto "no".
On preview ernielundquist linked a case I was thinking of.
posted by emptythought at 12:17 PM on July 28, 2014
« Older We are not poor. We are stuggling to make ends... | Aftertaste Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
But, really. That uncle is bad enough when he's had a few drinks.
posted by jefflowrey at 7:01 AM on July 26, 2014 [2 favorites]