I AM GROOT.
September 17, 2014 7:50 AM   Subscribe

 
http://imgur.com/MwO9o2R
posted by Foosnark at 7:53 AM on September 17, 2014


I AM GROOT! (I am Groot? I am Groot? I am Groot.)
posted by effbot at 7:53 AM on September 17, 2014 [3 favorites]


Groot groot Groot groot groot groot Groot groot.
posted by gwint at 7:58 AM on September 17, 2014


No, I am Groot!

/spartacus
posted by leotrotsky at 7:59 AM on September 17, 2014 [2 favorites]


You know I never thought we'd have an actual unironic 70s AM GOLD revival but I just set up a Pandora station called "Space Grooves" so here we are.
posted by The Whelk at 8:00 AM on September 17, 2014 [7 favorites]


Hodor!
posted by Dashy at 8:02 AM on September 17, 2014 [5 favorites]


Groot needs his equivalent to hodor.org.
posted by The Gaffer at 8:04 AM on September 17, 2014


It's an interesting sentence to parse. The initial instinct is that Groot is a name, and that the being called Groot is identifying as such. But Groot could be a species or a condition or a classification. Like fuck, Groot might be any part of speech. There is much to consider at the root of Groot.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:05 AM on September 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


We are all Groot.
Sorry, got my franchises mixed up.
posted by entropicamericana at 8:06 AM on September 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


Three words ...
posted by jbickers at 8:20 AM on September 17, 2014


Need Groot loves Hodor FanFic.
posted by sammyo at 8:21 AM on September 17, 2014 [3 favorites]


I am fuck?
posted by edgeways at 8:24 AM on September 17, 2014


and I am Otis. Greetings
posted by I am Otis at 8:31 AM on September 17, 2014


He's on Twitter too!
posted by AzraelBrown at 8:32 AM on September 17, 2014


setuid root!
posted by ennui.bz at 8:32 AM on September 17, 2014


anyways.. Guardians of the Galaxy 2 is scheduled to be released in movie theaters on July 28, 2017 yadda yadda. GotG was fairly fun (and I am a horrible person to go to the movies with... really really really horrible, I make no bones about it I am curmudgeon piss and vinegar, I hate most movies and am hyper critical). So, yeah GotG was fairly fun, but I note they do seem to want to run it into the ground and squeeze every penny they can out of it. Until it is no longer fun. So, whatshisface will scoot around the galaxy unearthing nostalgic cassette tapes (something for the boomers), cracking references and jokes for the Xers and Mils while bloodlessly hacking a swath a mile wide.

No such thing as a one off action movie.
posted by edgeways at 8:33 AM on September 17, 2014


I am Groot and so is my wife!
posted by daveje at 8:33 AM on September 17, 2014 [10 favorites]


I am fuck?

"oot" could be the gerund form of "grilf" which might mean "fuck" but that does make the movie way ickier. Alternatively, "grilf" might mean "fart" which would appeal to much of the audience pretty strongly, I think.

Seriously, I don't find fart jokes that funny as a rule but I am actually really enjoying the idea that every time he speaks he is proudly and solemnly announcing "I am farting" or like "I. AM. FARTING!" and then, SPOILER during the climactic scene, while they are all bonding and turning into a team and whatever, he's like "WE are farting!" and they all sit around farting very seriously at each other and feeling a shared sense of awe at their communal farting, and this is making me giggle.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 8:42 AM on September 17, 2014 [4 favorites]


So, yeah GotG was fairly fun, but I note they do seem to want to run it into the ground and squeeze every penny they can out of it.

I read this and all I can think is PENNY CAN!

So, whatshisface will scoot around the galaxy unearthing nostalgic cassette tapes (something for the boomers), cracking references and jokes for the Xers and Mils while bloodlessly hacking a swath a mile wide.

That would totally be the gameplay in an Atari 2600 movie tie in game.
posted by phearlez at 8:45 AM on September 17, 2014 [3 favorites]


As we have small children, I have been deprived of going to adult movies for years. But the first and only one I have seen in about a year was GotG. We just happened to have a free afternoon with no kids, so we decided to go to the movies, not even knowing what was out. The only thing that really was an option was the Imax3D GotG. I was expecting to dislike it, but we went just because. I actually enjoyed it. I'm not sure I really cared about any of the characters, and I could do without the little racoon, but it was a fluff things-go-boom movie so that's ok.

But I will say that Groot made that movie for me and turned it from "meh" into "enjoyed". Has no prior knowledge there would be a tree-person-thingy in the movie, but I found it a fascinating character. I wanted to know more about him/it. I actually cared about the thing. Unfortunately, the internet is doing its usual job of over-exposing and running something fresh into the ground.
posted by dios at 8:47 AM on September 17, 2014


I think that you can't apply normal film rules to the marvel cinematic universe (and other developing Mega franchises) though.

They should never have released numbered sequels, and given the subtitle of captain America I think they agree. It's not a sequel as such, it's another adventure in the MCU.

It works because you can use comic logic instead of movie logic.
I read an interview with Gale/Zemeckis re back to the future 4 where they said that sequels are mostly bad because a film is a pivotal moment in a characters life. When you add another film suddenly it's not so pivotal.
That's not true of comic logic. Everyday superheroes fight impossible odds and do outrageous things because that's what they do. Adding another story to their life doesn't dilute that. Also you don't need to top the last thing to make the new thing worthwhile (a lesson spiderman films never seem to get. Now 3 villains, 4 villains wait, 6 villains) because that's movie logic again and that's why they fail.
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 8:48 AM on September 17, 2014 [11 favorites]


I am Groot?
posted by Hamusutaa at 8:52 AM on September 17, 2014


I am Groot?

I am Groot!
posted by capricorn at 8:55 AM on September 17, 2014


I am Groot.
I AM groot.
I am GROOT.
I AM GROOT!
Hodor.
posted by eriko at 8:58 AM on September 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


I still can't believe they didn't have potted dancing Groots available as part of the launch merchandise. Everybody came out of that theatre wanting one.
posted by Pope Guilty at 9:12 AM on September 17, 2014 [3 favorites]


"potted dancing Groot"

worst part of a good movie.
posted by komara at 9:37 AM on September 17, 2014


I am Skulltown Jelly?
No! I am Skelleton Jelly.
posted by martinrebas at 9:38 AM on September 17, 2014


Suuuuuuperman.

love ya, Vin.
posted by bicyclefish at 9:39 AM on September 17, 2014 [2 favorites]


SPOILER ALERT

True Fact(tm): When Groot changes his one line from "I am Groot" to "We are Groot", he displays his Rastafarian roots*. In Rastafarianism, there is no "you"; there is only "I", and "I and I", explaining that we must see ourselves and our common divinity in others.

This was too difficult to explain in a three-second screen moment, however, so "I and I" became "We".

More proof: Look at those branches man. They're one part tree, one part dreds.

* My apologies, but it was the mot juste.


Note that the use of "True Fact(tm)" does not necessarily indicate a True Fact in all continuums.
posted by IAmBroom at 9:56 AM on September 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


Groot is everywhere.
posted by JimInLoganSquare at 10:08 AM on September 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


This thread took me to a place where I could find my GROOTS BLOODY GROOTS!
And I liked it....
posted by comealongpole at 10:52 AM on September 17, 2014


There's a funny/trite but pertinent short video of some guy explaining why Groot is the perfect hero and"I am Groot" the perfect phrase for the perfect hero. But I can't bloody find it...
posted by From Bklyn at 10:53 AM on September 17, 2014


I am (I am) I am Groot
and I know what's happening
posted by bakerina at 11:23 AM on September 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


Groot am I?
posted by mikeburg at 12:21 PM on September 17, 2014


As we have small children, I have been deprived of going to adult movies for years

Just take the kids. They will explain the movie to you. And then they'll decide that you are Groot. We've had so much fun with the aftermath of that movie. We answer the phone that way now. Completely flummoxed telemarketers from foreign lands just hang up if you keep repeating it.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 12:23 PM on September 17, 2014


Ik ben groot.

I want the next movie to have Xemnu the Titan.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:48 PM on September 17, 2014 [2 favorites]


I am not Groot. I am a man!
posted by Splunge at 12:52 PM on September 17, 2014


There is Groot fanfic.

"I am Groot" (comes with NSFW warning)

And more at Archive of our Own -- the first few are pretty sweet (sort is by "kudos").
posted by wenat at 1:32 PM on September 17, 2014


Metafilter: is Groot.
posted by localroger at 3:07 PM on September 17, 2014 [3 favorites]


I am the Prince of Chichester.
posted by Reverend John at 4:36 PM on September 17, 2014


My headcannon is that Groot is actually female, and thus the Guardians team is 2:3 instead of 1:4.
posted by Deoridhe at 7:10 PM on September 17, 2014


I am Groot, and so can you!
posted by That's Numberwang! at 9:38 PM on September 17, 2014 [2 favorites]


One of my favorite school chums bears the last name Groot. We often referred to him as simply Groot or as The Groot (this was in the 70s). He lives on the other side of the planet now and I see him very, very rarely.

I did not see DOTG so don't fully grasp the reference. And every time I see or hear a reference to Groot I think of my friend and how much I miss him.

Sometimes life is weird.
posted by kinnakeet at 5:31 AM on September 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


The fascinating thing about "I am Groot" is the movie explicitly and repeatedly sets up the rule that this is the only thing Groot says. There is nothing else he says, at all. Sure, there's nuance about what it means based on his expression, body language, tone and other context, but other otherwise, it's a single saying repeated over and over.

Then the movie breaks the very rule it made and it makes total sense both theme and plot wise. Groot literally grows roots and metaphorically grounds these individuals into a family/team (which resonates with everyone's desire to have a circle of family and friends). It's only by choosing to work together they can defeat crazy ass Ronan.

And yet Groot is goddamn CGI creation. Jesus the movie was so pedestrian, yet brilliant with that move.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:46 AM on September 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


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