One Does Not Simply Assume Sean Bean Always Dies

December 6, 2014 10:48 AM

Does Sean Bean really die more than other actors?
posted by Sara C. (44 comments total)

(Faved for the tagline. . .)
posted by Danf at 10:54 AM on December 6, 2014

It's just a flesh wound!
posted by Artw at 11:04 AM on December 6, 2014

Sean Bean is dead (undead undead)
posted by The Whelk at 11:17 AM on December 6, 2014 [7 favorites]

It's not just a question of whether John Hurt dies, but whether he suffers... I want to see the data on how many movies feature John Hurt, hurt.
posted by ennui.bz at 11:20 AM on December 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

I want to see the data on how many movies feature John Hurt, hurt.

Especially if he's in the bathroom at the time.
posted by Etrigan at 12:04 PM on December 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

Only two females in the top 40?

What a strange question:

"Can we kill off more female characters to better achieve film gender parity? A sort-of-very-grim Bechdel Test?"
posted by The Giant Squid at 12:10 PM on December 6, 2014

Bill Paxton always seemed to be the guy that always died to me and my friends some years ago. To the point that I was actually a bit surprised he got all the way through Twister, but from that graph he's not even remarkable in his volume of deaths.

Only two females in the top 40?

Er. There are four in that graph.
posted by Brockles at 12:19 PM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Only two females in the top 40?

The first question is whether they die in movies at a higher rate than men. If the rate is the same then it's just a matter getting gender disparity in the roles rather than killing off female characters more often.
posted by VTX at 12:31 PM on December 6, 2014

The thing about Hurt is that, even when you can't see him, he's still the voice of suffering...
posted by ennui.bz at 1:12 PM on December 6, 2014

Years ago I dated Bill Paxton's cousin. They had a party after the first major movie he didn't die in. Apparently he had a good sense of humor about it.
posted by MarvinTheCat at 1:14 PM on December 6, 2014 [12 favorites]

A session of "Sean Bean Quest" on the Shut Up and Sit Down podcast.

Spoiler: Lots of Sean Beans die.
posted by Reyturner at 1:35 PM on December 6, 2014

It's been pointed out before but Paxton is the only actor who's been killed by a Terminator, an Alien, a Predator and an Avenger.
posted by octothorpe at 1:39 PM on December 6, 2014 [32 favorites]

Oh, that's why he was wearing that necklace with TAPA spelled out in diamonds.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 1:50 PM on December 6, 2014 [16 favorites]

Answer: yes, "Sean Bean is still at the top of the list with 0.32 deaths/film, tied with Bela Lugosi." Presumably Lugosi is keeping up only because he could have more than one death per film.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 2:02 PM on December 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

Well of course Lugosi and Price died a lot, they had multiple-decade careers as horror movie villains.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:43 PM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

The bats have left the bell tower, the victims have been bled.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 2:52 PM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Don't kill Sean Bean!.com
posted by elgilito at 2:57 PM on December 6, 2014

It's all because of his Sharpe karma: there are so many, many times when he should have died in that series (seriously - I've read believable Sharpe/Highlander cross-over-fiction - that character must have been an immortal!). Now his characters all have to die to make up for it.
posted by jb at 3:09 PM on December 6, 2014 [5 favorites]

octothorpe: which Avenger?
posted by gottabefunky at 3:14 PM on December 6, 2014

It's been pointed out before but Paxton is the only actor who's been killed by a Terminator, an Alien, a Predator and an Avenger.

Well, actually, in fact killed by a Terminator ('Punk leader' in Terminator), an Alien (Private Hudson in Aliens), and a Predator (Officer (?) Jerry Lambert in Predator 2). But are we calling Coulson an Avenger now? I mean, let's keep some standards, shall we?
posted by aureliobuendia at 3:17 PM on December 6, 2014

But are we calling Coulson an Avenger now? I mean, let's keep some standards, shall we?

*gets the popcorn ready*
posted by Andrhia at 4:23 PM on December 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

are we calling Coulson an Avenger now? I mean, let's keep some standards, shall we?

Coming back from the dead qualifies him for X-Men membership, minimum.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 5:19 PM on December 6, 2014 [5 favorites]

X-Men usually have to be mutants; Avengers can just be completely awesome (see: Black Widow). By that metric, both Coulson and a number of individuals on MetaFilter are Avengers.
posted by Deoridhe at 5:42 PM on December 6, 2014 [5 favorites]

Jeffery Dean Morgan also has a death thing. He tends to play people who die and then haunt though and he does both movies and TV.
posted by srboisvert at 6:02 PM on December 6, 2014

I'm wondering about the John Hurt death count. Are those deaths, period, or are they times when Hurt's character has been killed? The thing is, Sean Bean doesn't die of old age, or random illness. He gets shot. He gets stabbed. Beheaded. Blown up in a speeding motorboat during a freak thunderstorm. Dropped from great height into a telescope dish, then to have the telescope apparatus crash down onto him. Have any of Bean's characters died a natural death?

Remove all natural deaths from the tally, and I imagine Bean is up on top.
posted by Ghidorah at 6:20 PM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also, I'm shocked by how small the number of times Michelle Rodriguez has died on film. I always thought the point of any of her characters was to provide a vaguely emotional moment that inspires others to finish their quest. She's like a living trope at this point.
posted by Ghidorah at 6:24 PM on December 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

Are those deaths, period, or are they times when Hurt's character has been killed?

Spoiler Video: The Many Deaths of John Hurt

Defenestrated, shot, hanged, hanged, stabbed by a ghost, stabbed by the Praetorian Guard, stabbed by a lover, set on fire, chestburster, shot, shot, shot, stabbed, evil magic, chestburster ("oh no, not again"), shot, melted face, fire, glass jaw, exorcism, stabbed by a nazi robot, bludgeoned, shot, eaten by a hellbeast, drowning...

Bean still has a way to go before he catches up with cinema's all-time leading punching bag.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 6:40 PM on December 6, 2014 [7 favorites]

Jstyutk, the thing is (not having seen all of those) there's at least a couple "deaths" in there (Contact, for instance) where he's not killed through violence. Has Bean ever just "died" in a movie?
posted by Ghidorah at 6:50 PM on December 6, 2014

exorcism, stabbed by a nazi robot, bludgeoned, shot, eaten by a hellbeast, drowning...

Just sort of glowing a bit because the episode is over...
posted by Artw at 6:58 PM on December 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

Sean Bean fills me with irrationaltotally justified rage. It's either Shawn Bawn, or Seen Been. He can't have it both ways.
posted by AndrewStephens at 7:58 PM on December 6, 2014 [14 favorites]

By that metric, both Coulson and a number of individuals on MetaFilter are Avengers.

I assumed the SSR t-shirt I wear at the gym provided me membership.
posted by The Whelk at 8:02 PM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

[Mini-spoiler]

There's a classic bit in Ronin where Robert DeNiro's character (who has presumably seen a few Sean Bean movies) takes a few minutes to expose Bean as a weak link and force him from the team before he can get himself killed. I always thought that was considerate.
posted by Iridic at 8:03 PM on December 6, 2014 [5 favorites]

It's either Shawn Bawn, or Seen Been. He can't have it both ways.

I've been saying that for years! Personally, I go for Shawn Bawn.
posted by betweenthebars at 8:24 PM on December 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

Defenestrated, shot, hanged, hanged, stabbed by a ghost, stabbed by the Praetorian Guard, stabbed by a lover, set on fire, chestburster, shot, shot, shot, stabbed, evil magic, chestburster ("oh no, not again" yt ), shot, melted face, fire, glass jaw, exorcism, stabbed by a nazi robot, bludgeoned, shot, eaten by a hellbeast, drowning...

Clearly I need to step up my game as a Dungeon Master.
posted by Gelatin at 6:57 AM on December 7, 2014 [4 favorites]

It's either Shawn Bawn, or Seen Been. He can't have it both ways.

His birth name is "Shaun", so at some point he changed it just to mess with us.
posted by lesli212 at 8:54 AM on December 7, 2014 [4 favorites]

Pajiba.com found that character actor Kim Coates has died 32+ times, including a disturbing propensity for being shot in the head, twice by Kevin Costner alone.

Kim Coates Death Reel
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:46 AM on December 7, 2014

Fury explicitly says Coulson's an avenger in the last episode of shield season one, so I count it.
posted by sandswipe at 1:07 PM on December 7, 2014 [3 favorites]

The Misadventures of Shawn Bawn
posted by Mr. Pokeylope at 1:45 PM on December 7, 2014 [1 favorite]

That list needs Michael Biehn

I want Michael Biehn and Sean Bean to do a tv show called Biehn and Bean where twitter votes on which one dies at the end of each episode.
posted by Sauce Trough at 7:32 AM on December 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

Well, you know, on Metafilter we are known for...
...
(wait for it)
...
...Overthinking the fate of Sean Beans.

I'm so sorry.
posted by misha at 9:31 AM on December 8, 2014 [6 favorites]

He doesn't use the 'fada' in his first name, so reading it in Irish it's actually pronounced 'shan-ban' which means 'old lady'.
posted by TwoWordReview at 10:48 AM on December 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

There's a classic bit in Ronin where Robert DeNiro's character (who has presumably seen a few Sean Bean movies) takes a few minutes to expose Bean as a weak link

Although, following on from the mispronunciation issue, it seems odd that DeNiro asks the Shibboleth "What colour is the boatshed at Hereford?"* but pronounces Hereford to rhyme with "beer-fort" rather than "error-food".

*i.e. "Were you really in the SAS?"
posted by ambrosen at 3:31 PM on December 9, 2014

Although, following on from the mispronunciation issue, it seems odd that DeNiro asks the Shibboleth "What colour is the boatshed at Hereford?"* but pronounces Hereford to rhyme with "beer-fort" rather than "error-food".

But then when Jean Reno asks De Niro what color the roof is, De Niro says something to the effect of "How the fuck should I know?" He wasn't looking for the right answer, he was looking for Sean Bean's reaction to the question.
posted by Etrigan at 4:19 PM on December 9, 2014

That jarred when I first saw that film, but being as Bean would undoubtedly be just as jarred by that pronunciation (and corrected it in rehearsals?) I also assumed it was deliberate.

pronounces Hereford to rhyme with "beer-fort" rather than "error-food".

I think Herr-eh-fud is closer. Certainly three syllables, though.
posted by Brockles at 2:33 PM on December 11, 2014