"He's just a platypus; they don't do much."

January 21, 2015 6:34 PM

P-P-P-P-Platypus.
posted by Fizz (16 comments total)

... and then cleanse your palate with the purely superior Perry The Platypus Theme Song, is my advice.

That and this Agent P entrance compilation.
posted by mhoye at 6:51 PM on January 21, 2015 [3 favorites]

So Pythagorean triangles just got pushed out of my head to make room for this forever. And I'm okay with that.
posted by turbid dahlia at 7:24 PM on January 21, 2015 [2 favorites]

Cheryl Wheeler's Potato song seems possibly apropos at this point.
posted by weston at 8:21 PM on January 21, 2015

I just punched myself in the head, with my left hand, trying to rid myself of P-P-P-P-Platypus. I landed on Q-Q-Q-Q, and I was trying to make a stupid joke but fuck QQQ is up to the right. Thanks for nothing Fizz.
posted by vapidave at 8:28 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]

It's all fun and games until you get stung by the platypus's vicious poisonous spurs!
posted by mono blanco at 8:30 PM on January 21, 2015 [2 favorites]

A+++ Would ruin my life again.
posted by cmoj at 8:44 PM on January 21, 2015 [2 favorites]

He's a semi-aquatic egg laying mammal of action!
He's a furry little flatfoot who'll never flinch from a fray!
He's got more than just mad skills
He's got a beaver tail and a bill
And the women swoon whenever they hear him saaaaaay
(Perry noise)

He's looking really good in his 1940's fedora.
He's got an iron will, nerves of steel,
and several other metal themed attributes!
His fur is watertight!
And he's always up for a fight!
So when evil hears this sound
it shakes in its booooots!'
(Perry noise)

He's Perry!
Perry the Platypus!
Yes Perry!
Perry the Platypus!

AGENT P!
posted by eriko at 8:52 PM on January 21, 2015 [2 favorites]

I literally got three seconds into that song before closing the tab in anger and/or horror and/or disgust and/or panic.

I was hoping for Perry!
posted by edheil at 9:27 PM on January 21, 2015 [1 favorite]

I am sorry to say I did not immediately close my tab after the first five seconds; however, things picked up when the man appeared, as I had (mistakenly) assumed that he was the ventriloquist. In fact, I had convinced myself that he was indeed the ventriloquist for most of the video, and much impressed by his skill; unfortunately, towards the end it became apparent that he is not. (Though I cannot be certain without a second viewing, and this is not going to happen.) (<>This link, under the 'show more' section, is somewhat more fun: kids actually enjoying the song. Aw.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 11:16 PM on January 21, 2015

(Note: this YouTube link.)
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 11:25 PM on January 21, 2015

Ok. I can't be the only person here who doesn't believe in the platypus. I mean, honestly, have you ever seen one? I have been to a lot of zoos and I have never seen one. I've seen a lot of shit, man, but never a platypus. If the moon landing was faked, this egg laying, poisonous mammal sure as hell was as well.

(Plus, that's obviously a puppet in the video, how stupid do you think I am? Wale up, sheeple!)
posted by Literaryhero at 3:33 AM on January 22, 2015 [2 favorites]

Platypi apparently do not do well in captivity. According to Wikipedia: "As of 2013, there is no platypus in captivity outside of Australia. Three attempts were made to bring the animals to the Bronx Zoo, in 1922, 1947, and 1958; of these, only two of the three animals introduced in 1947 lived longer than eighteen months."
posted by Bee'sWing at 6:01 AM on January 22, 2015

There's a platypus controlling me. He's underneath the table.

My teacher is a panda.
posted by The Bellman at 10:17 AM on January 22, 2015

I have seen a platypus in the wild, I can confirm that they are real transdimensional space-mutants carefully positioning themselves for an Earth incursion. Also they are very shiny!
posted by turbid dahlia at 3:21 PM on January 22, 2015

There's a platypus controlling me. He's underneath the table.

<3 Agent P
posted by inpHilltr8r at 7:34 PM on January 22, 2015

Platypi apparently do not do well in captivity. According to Wikipedia: "As of 2013, there is no platypus in captivity outside of Australia. Three attempts were made to bring the animals to the Bronx Zoo, in 1922, 1947, and 1958; of these, only two of the three animals introduced in 1947 lived longer than eighteen months."

Convenient excuse, isn't it? And turbid dahlia has obviously been compromised.
posted by Literaryhero at 10:35 PM on January 22, 2015 [1 favorite]