Children's Letters to Frankenstein
May 29, 2015 8:07 PM Subscribe
Dear Jennifer, I very much appreciate your letter of 10/29. From the wording of one of your questions, I suspect that the message may have been intended for my monster, "Frankenstein's Monster." I have included his address, should you wish to contact him (the monster) directly.
No, no- I was addressing my letter to Frankenstien's monster.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:11 PM on May 29, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:11 PM on May 29, 2015 [4 favorites]
actually name monster is a pretty fruitful twitter search for mildly amusing jokes.
posted by moonmilk at 8:14 PM on May 29, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by moonmilk at 8:14 PM on May 29, 2015 [5 favorites]
That's Fronkensteen.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 8:20 PM on May 29, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 8:20 PM on May 29, 2015 [10 favorites]
joseph conrad is fully awesome: "That's Fronkensteen."
Here's a bandaid...
posted by Samizdata at 8:21 PM on May 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Here's a bandaid...
posted by Samizdata at 8:21 PM on May 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
I don't care that it's not an original idea. (What is, really?) The execution is impeccable. Loved this.
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:29 PM on May 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:29 PM on May 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
charming, and a little sad, especially the $50 check and his plea to help out the school kid.
posted by skewed at 8:32 PM on May 29, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by skewed at 8:32 PM on May 29, 2015 [3 favorites]
"Knowledge is knowing that Frankenstein isn't the monster. Wisdom is knowing that Frankenstein is the monster."
posted by Ian A.T. at 8:33 PM on May 29, 2015 [109 favorites]
posted by Ian A.T. at 8:33 PM on May 29, 2015 [109 favorites]
Something Awful writes the best bitter/funny monster stories around. I recommend Monstergeddon as well.
And, because I link to it whenever I can, the awesome quote above reminds me of the Theses on Monsters by China Miéville: "The saw that We Have Seen the Real Monsters and They Are Us is neither revelation, nor clever, nor interesting, nor true. It is a betrayal of the monstrous, and of humanity."
posted by blahblahblah at 9:04 PM on May 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
And, because I link to it whenever I can, the awesome quote above reminds me of the Theses on Monsters by China Miéville: "The saw that We Have Seen the Real Monsters and They Are Us is neither revelation, nor clever, nor interesting, nor true. It is a betrayal of the monstrous, and of humanity."
posted by blahblahblah at 9:04 PM on May 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
that's brilliant, Ian A.T., is it a quote from something?
posted by skewed at 9:17 PM on May 29, 2015
posted by skewed at 9:17 PM on May 29, 2015
should you wish to contact him (the monster) directly.
Not a good idea.
posted by Nevin at 9:33 PM on May 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Not a good idea.
posted by Nevin at 9:33 PM on May 29, 2015 [1 favorite]
Actually, it's been Frankenstain all this time.
posted by darksasami at 10:55 PM on May 29, 2015 [24 favorites]
posted by darksasami at 10:55 PM on May 29, 2015 [24 favorites]
And it's not Frankenberry Cereal, it's Frankenstein's Monster's Berry Cereal!
posted by XMLicious at 11:12 PM on May 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by XMLicious at 11:12 PM on May 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
This is delightful and a little sad.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:39 AM on May 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:39 AM on May 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
Well, what is the monster's surname? The pedantic jerks are unwitting tools of Victor's other descendants: deny the poor creature his name and you deny his right to the family fortune.
(And all he wants, anyway, is access to the equipment that gave him life, currently moldering in a storage unit somewhere awaiting the outcome of a byzantine series of multi-generational lawsuits.)
posted by nobody at 5:19 AM on May 30, 2015 [3 favorites]
(And all he wants, anyway, is access to the equipment that gave him life, currently moldering in a storage unit somewhere awaiting the outcome of a byzantine series of multi-generational lawsuits.)
posted by nobody at 5:19 AM on May 30, 2015 [3 favorites]
"Knowledge is knowing that Frankenstein isn't the monster. Wisdom is knowing that Frankenstein is the monster."
This is completely brilliant. Whoa.
One year one of the essay topics on the application for something called The Committee on Social Thought at my university was "How many monsters are there in Frankenstein?" and I enjoy coming up with totally random answers like "Just one: Justine the servant who is executed" or "Two: John Milton and Percy Shelley".
In conclusion, Frankenstein really is an AMAZINGLY good book.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 6:07 AM on May 30, 2015 [4 favorites]
This is completely brilliant. Whoa.
One year one of the essay topics on the application for something called The Committee on Social Thought at my university was "How many monsters are there in Frankenstein?" and I enjoy coming up with totally random answers like "Just one: Justine the servant who is executed" or "Two: John Milton and Percy Shelley".
In conclusion, Frankenstein really is an AMAZINGLY good book.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 6:07 AM on May 30, 2015 [4 favorites]
And all he wants, anyway, is access to the equipment that gave him life
Well, yeah, but he wants it to create another Creature, which is not a morally unproblematic proposition. I don't mean for the douchey Frankenstein reasons, I mean because the Creature believes he is entitled to create a woman who will exist literally just for him. His life is lonely and full of misery so he wants to bring another person into the world to share it and does not accept that she might have agency and autonomy? He thinks it's okay to create a life only for your own sake and not for theirs? Has he learned nothing? He's perpetuating the same patriarchal worldview that he decries in Frankenstein although in the opposite way; Frankenstein creates and then abandons a child, while the Creature wants to take complete ownership of a woman; he literally believes he can create her to exist only for himself. Both of them approach the idea of giving life solely from their own selfish perspective.
This is the first time I've thought about this in this way; I've always been 100% on the Creature's side, and I still am compared to effing douchey Victor, but the Creature really is Frankenstein's creation in terms of their senses of entitlement.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 6:19 AM on May 30, 2015 [20 favorites]
Well, yeah, but he wants it to create another Creature, which is not a morally unproblematic proposition. I don't mean for the douchey Frankenstein reasons, I mean because the Creature believes he is entitled to create a woman who will exist literally just for him. His life is lonely and full of misery so he wants to bring another person into the world to share it and does not accept that she might have agency and autonomy? He thinks it's okay to create a life only for your own sake and not for theirs? Has he learned nothing? He's perpetuating the same patriarchal worldview that he decries in Frankenstein although in the opposite way; Frankenstein creates and then abandons a child, while the Creature wants to take complete ownership of a woman; he literally believes he can create her to exist only for himself. Both of them approach the idea of giving life solely from their own selfish perspective.
This is the first time I've thought about this in this way; I've always been 100% on the Creature's side, and I still am compared to effing douchey Victor, but the Creature really is Frankenstein's creation in terms of their senses of entitlement.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 6:19 AM on May 30, 2015 [20 favorites]
Topical, poignant viewing: Spirit of the Beehive .
posted by Sheydem-tants at 7:50 AM on May 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Sheydem-tants at 7:50 AM on May 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
Correspondence BAD!
posted by fairmettle at 8:30 AM on May 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by fairmettle at 8:30 AM on May 30, 2015 [1 favorite]
The man's a fraud. The so-called family crest belongs to the Geer family. This is the real family crest.
posted by BWA at 10:53 AM on May 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by BWA at 10:53 AM on May 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
This is the first time I've thought about this in this way; I've always been 100% on the Creature's side, and I still am compared to effing douchey Victor, but the Creature really is Frankenstein's creation in terms of their senses of entitlement.
On the other hand, what other worldview can the monster possibly have in his very short life? What other reality could he know? Victor is the only one to blame here.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 2:26 PM on May 30, 2015
On the other hand, what other worldview can the monster possibly have in his very short life? What other reality could he know? Victor is the only one to blame here.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 2:26 PM on May 30, 2015
what other worldview can the monster possibly have in his very short life?
The one his brain had the first around. When he was Abby Normal.
posted by BWA at 4:00 PM on May 30, 2015
The one his brain had the first around. When he was Abby Normal.
posted by BWA at 4:00 PM on May 30, 2015
You are all misremembering: It is Frankenstain.
posted by Nanukthedog at 4:03 PM on May 30, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Nanukthedog at 4:03 PM on May 30, 2015 [3 favorites]
Gaaah! I have always been so annoyed by this joke! As nobody points out, the monster has every right to Frankenstein's name.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:04 PM on May 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by The Underpants Monster at 6:04 PM on May 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
And let's be real, anyone egomanical enough to create life would probably just name it after himself anyway.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:53 PM on May 30, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:53 PM on May 30, 2015 [3 favorites]
When Phil Hartman played him on Saturday Night Live, they just called him Frankenstein. That's good enough for me.
posted by rifflesby at 9:36 PM on May 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by rifflesby at 9:36 PM on May 30, 2015 [2 favorites]
On the other hand, what other worldview can the monster possibly have in his very short life? What other reality could he know? Victor is the only one to blame here.
Surely Milton has to take some of the blame. The Creature is looking for his Eve, after all.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:53 AM on June 1, 2015
Surely Milton has to take some of the blame. The Creature is looking for his Eve, after all.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:53 AM on June 1, 2015
"When I was a child, we played games. Do you have this?"
GOOD SHOW.
posted by psoas at 11:48 AM on June 1, 2015
GOOD SHOW.
posted by psoas at 11:48 AM on June 1, 2015
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posted by mhoye at 8:11 PM on May 29, 2015 [37 favorites]