Italian Dessert Nachos
June 26, 2015 10:41 AM Subscribe

The Minnesota State Fair has announced the new foods available for 2015.

posted by griphus (111 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

Deep Fried Ribs seems like an idea worth exploring.
posted by srboisvert at 10:44 AM on June 26, 2015 [3 favorites]

As much as I love spam burgers, that looks like a very boring spam burger.
posted by oceanjesse at 10:45 AM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

And so it begins... now I want to marry food too.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:45 AM on June 26, 2015 [39 favorites]

Much as I love the Minnesota State Fair and go every year, the coming of the Fair is the Last Stop of Summer, so I deeply resent their insistence on reminding us of their coming all Summer long. It's worse than the Starks of Winterfell and their House Words.

In other words, the Fair can shut their Autumn holes.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 10:46 AM on June 26, 2015 [11 favorites]

A restaurant near me does "crispy ribs" which, while not breaded, are amazing.
posted by Jacob G at 10:46 AM on June 26, 2015

I've tossed fresh tortilla chips in butter, salt and cinnamon sugar before - it was good! I would prefer my deconstructed cannoli without candy bits, however.
posted by codacorolla at 10:47 AM on June 26, 2015

Can someone clarify for me what the Prime Rib to Go comes in? It looks like some sort of bread-shofar.
posted by griphus at 10:48 AM on June 26, 2015 [3 favorites]

The fair! The fair!

Let me tell you, there would have been no poutine, no sweet potato tacos, no hand pies and no butter chicken samosas at the fair back in 1996 when I first attended. At this point, you can go to the fair and get relatively tasty vegetarian food (other than fried cheese curds). I particularly admire how many of these are in the best fair tradition of Fried Things but are just somewhat better Things.

I am intrigued yet puzzled by the kale that is "fried in wine". Surely if you heated the wine to frying temperature you'd get first a reduction and then just a sticky burnt mess in the pot?
posted by Frowner at 10:51 AM on June 26, 2015 [5 favorites]

This actually looks pretty amazing.
posted by GuyZero at 10:52 AM on June 26, 2015

Jesus Christ, Grandma Deb, just serve a bowl o' diabetes.
posted by boo_radley at 10:52 AM on June 26, 2015 [7 favorites]

griphus: "Prime Rib to Go comes in? "

it's a pizza cone, which is also, yes, a real thing.
posted by boo_radley at 10:53 AM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

I'm down for some kimchi and curry poutine.
posted by ghharr at 10:54 AM on June 26, 2015 [4 favorites]

It looks like some sort of bread-shofar.

it looks like a pizza cone
posted by poffin boffin at 10:54 AM on June 26, 2015

Can someone clarify for me what the Prime Rib to Go comes in? It looks like some sort of bread-shofar.

The more detailed menu describes it as a "soft bread cone."

The brand name for this is apparently the "Conewich" (patent pending according to the Conewich website) and I've got all kinds of highfalutin city folk jokes to make fun, but I'm too busy trying to figure out how I can eat all my sandwiches in cone form.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:54 AM on June 26, 2015 [8 favorites]

Kimchi 'n' Curry Poutine seems like a very poor choice of foodstuff for someone who presumably will be walking around a fairground, with only sporadic porta-potty access.
posted by Countess Elena at 10:56 AM on June 26, 2015 [4 favorites]

I am especially happy about this "Indi Frites" idea, since for years I have been pining for Little Szechuan to get a booth and bring their Szechuan fries to the masses (never going to happen, logistically speaking, of course) and these look like a similar thing with the thin batter and spices. Even if, sadly, no numbing-burning Szechuan peppercorns.
posted by Frowner at 10:59 AM on June 26, 2015

Does "Tikka On-a-Stikka" rhyme in Minnesota?
posted by griphus at 11:02 AM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

No. Not amongst anyone who actually says "tikka" out loud regularly.
posted by Frowner at 11:05 AM on June 26, 2015

Still no deep-fried gravy on a stick? Pass.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:05 AM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

I'm so excited, you guys! I've missed it the last two years, so usually these articles make me sad/homesick, but this year I'll be there, hopefully with people who are good at sharing food and who don't just want to sit at the milk booth all day. Imma print out a map and mark the essential foods and and and I'm just really excited, you guys.
posted by MsDaniB at 11:12 AM on June 26, 2015 [5 favorites]

I can't help but notice, Alton - your Sriracha Balls are a little misshapen.
posted by Esteemed Offendi at 11:12 AM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

This is my annual reminder that the Minnesota State Fair is where Theodore Roosevelt gave his "Walk softly and carry a big stick" speech on September 2, 1901, and ever since Minnesotans have been putting food on big sticks and walking around the Fair with it.

Because that's how we do.

The other best thing at the Fair is crop art, where Minnesotans use indigenous seeds to create portraits and also scabrous political commentary. You know you've upset a Minnesotan if they start parodying you in seed form.
posted by maxsparber at 11:13 AM on June 26, 2015 [46 favorites]

If it doesn't contain fat it's deep fat fried. If it does contain fat it's deep fat fried.
posted by tommasz at 11:13 AM on June 26, 2015

Have we yet reached the day and the hour when the sriracha backlash is at hand?
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:15 AM on June 26, 2015

I'm down for some kimchi and curry poutine.

It needs more cuisines rammed into itself. Put it in a sheep's stomach and cook it and then cut it up and put it on sticks and grill the bits and then put the bits on top of pasta with a different sauce so you can have General Tso's kimchi and curry poutine haggis kebab spaghetti.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 11:22 AM on June 26, 2015 [18 favorites]

Fair Food is much like the Fair Folk, beautiful, alluring, and capable of fucking you up in ways you've never imagined.
posted by The Whelk at 11:22 AM on June 26, 2015 [28 favorites]

Um, it's sriracha, so that day will never come. That's like asking if the orgasm backlash is due.
posted by maxsparber at 11:22 AM on June 26, 2015 [7 favorites]

If it doesn't contain fat it's deep fat fried. If it does contain fat it's deep fat fried.

Am I to understand that this is some sort of criticism?
posted by doctor_negative at 11:23 AM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

The sriracha backlash came and went around 2012-2013 with the bacon backlash. Both somehow got branded a hipster food because people on the internet got overly enthusiastic (as people on the internet are wont to do) and then came the inevitable market oversaturation of ThinkGeek-type bacon and/or sriracha-branded merchandise. Now I think both are back to just being food.
posted by griphus at 11:32 AM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

Heh, I actually booked a trip to Minneapolis specifically to go to the State Fair this year. I mean, I'll ride bikes to secret beaches and get wasted on drinks with "various rums" at Psycho Suzie's, too, but it's really all about the Kimchi 'n' Curry Poutine.

Follow me on Twitter for photos of me biting fried things on sticks and looking absolutely delighted in two months.
posted by Juliet Banana at 11:33 AM on June 26, 2015 [13 favorites]

butter chicken samosas

Note the limited offer. WHY?
posted by infini at 11:34 AM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

"Hand pie" will get stuck in your head forever if you substitute it for "hand jive" in the Bo Diddley classic.
posted by dr_dank at 11:39 AM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

now i regret posting this
posted by griphus at 11:40 AM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

it's a pizza cone, which is also, yes, a real thing.

Oh, this is the best pizza in a cup ever. This guy is unbelievable. He ran the old Cup 'o Pizza guy out of business. People come from all over to eat this.
posted by dialetheia at 11:41 AM on June 26, 2015 [6 favorites]

I am starting to see sriracha-flavored everything at grocery stores, including terrible 99c frozen dinners. It appears to be undergoing chipotlification at an alarming rate.

What is "wine-fried?" Is this going to be a thing? I don't know what it means but I think I could get behind it.

So there is so much great food in the world, and I`m completely ignorant to most of it, why do we need this stunt food? It's kinda profoundly dull in a world where Ethiopian and Cambodian and Polish food exists, no?

Just wait for the injera-dogs-on-a-stick next year
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:45 AM on June 26, 2015

No reason food needs to be a zero sum game. I can enjoy both Ethiopian food and kimchi poutine. Actually, kimchi poutine sounds really good right now.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:47 AM on June 26, 2015 [8 favorites]

what the ever living fuck minnesota
posted by Kitteh at 11:48 AM on June 26, 2015 [3 favorites]

So there is so much great food in the world, and I`m completely ignorant to most of it, why do we need this stunt food? It's kinda profoundly dull in a world where Ethiopian and Cambodian and Polish food exists, no?

Don't worry, there's a world foods pavilion where you can get Ethiopian and Polish food on a stick. Not sure about Cambodian.
posted by dinty_moore at 11:50 AM on June 26, 2015

Those who can handle it include Keith Ellison. Those that are driven insane by it Michelle Bachmann.

You where wondering why we encompass such a political diversity?
posted by edgeways at 11:50 AM on June 26, 2015

Oh, I'm sorry, *international bazaar*
posted by dinty_moore at 11:52 AM on June 26, 2015

General Tso's kimchi and curry poutine haggis kebab spaghetti

Yes, please.

Also, 3rding the confusion over "wine fried." There's also a dish that is apparently "sauteed in au jus," which wouldn't that just be braising?

Maybe it's like how, down South, a "coke" can represent any number of sodas. At the MN State Fair, all cooking technique names have been subsumed under frying or sauteing.
posted by Panjandrum at 11:52 AM on June 26, 2015

So there is so much great food in the world, and I`m completely ignorant to most of it, why do we need this stunt food? It's kinda profoundly dull in a world where Ethiopian and Cambodian and Polish food exists, no?

I can't decide if these specific choices were intentional, but there is a fantastic Ethopian place right outside the gates of the Fair and Cambodian (and Thai, Vietnamese, Laotian, and similar) restaurants along University within a few miles of the Fair. I work in the neighborhood and really enjoy the variety of great food here, but a few days a year I'll take any garbage you can fry and put on a stick and pay too much for it and love it. Can't we have both?
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 11:58 AM on June 26, 2015 [7 favorites]

So there is so much great food in the world, and I`m completely ignorant to most of it, why do we need this stunt food? It's kinda profoundly dull in a world where Ethiopian and Cambodian and Polish food exists, no?

Because this is fair food. You can, of course, envision a genteel upper middle class foodie fair with maybe some vintage 1950s rides and hand-carved wooden games and massaged kale salads that one eats while sitting at a little wrought iron table underneath the spreading oak as children play skipping games and so on, but that isn't the state fair.

1. Fair food mostly needs to be portable and fairly quick to make and serve - thus, frying and things-on-a-stick.

2. Fair food has a whole tradition behind it - going to the fair to have a refined, "authentic" gastronomic experience is like going to Sonic and getting upset because they don't have beef wellington. You eat cheese curds and funnel cake because you've eaten cheese curds and funnel cake every year since you were a wee slip of a thing, just like you look at the seed art.

3. Fair food has to be a "meet in the middle" thing for Minnesotans of all tastes because it's one of the few places that everyone goes - which is why so much of it is fried, for one thing, and why many of the things that have ingredients that would be unusual in the Iron Range are fried, and why while you can get a sweet potato taco or grilled pizza you can't get ma po tofu on a stick. (Although I bet dan-dan noodles would go over well at the fair.)

4. Fair food is once a year. You don't get a banana flip and a paper cone of fried green tomatoes because that's how you plan to eat every day or once a month.

5. A lot of people think the stunt food is fun. It's not my thing - as I say, I'm more of a banana flip and green tomatoes person - but lots of people get a harmless kick out of, like, a slice of deep-fried sriracha mac and cheese on a stick. It's a pretty harmless thrill as thrills go, and I know a lot of people who are pretty strict with their food habits all year but go to the fair precisely for the noise and the rides and an armful of ridiculous fried things.

(Also, frankly, if you know where to get good Polish and Cambodian at a sit down restaurant in this town, tip me off, eh? And also, a friend of a friend's family runs a pierogi concern at the fair.)
posted by Frowner at 11:58 AM on June 26, 2015 [27 favorites]

Given enough advance notice, I would attend a mefi fair meetup.
posted by Frowner at 12:00 PM on June 26, 2015 [3 favorites]

HOT TAIL
posted by krix at 12:03 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

Flagged as "delicious", pending academic review.
posted by blue_beetle at 12:08 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

Never thought I'd say this, but I want some Hot Tail.
posted by dlugoczaj at 12:16 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

If it doesn't contain fat it's deep fat fried. If it does contain fat it's deep fat fried.

Am I to understand that this is some sort of criticism?

No, just a statement of fact.
posted by tommasz at 12:29 PM on June 26, 2015

Fair food is once a year. You don't get a banana flip and a paper cone of fried green tomatoes because that's how you plan to eat every day or once a month.

It would be great if it were once a year. Here, I'm starting to notice fair food trends seeping into other food related events. We had an event here recently that called itself a "night market", but instead of having some staples with maybe a couple of new things, the event was kinda dominated by stuff you'd find at the fair. Now, I like fair food, but I also like night market food. But, I had to kind of mentally adjust my expectations when there wasn't a lot of cheap nibbles like popcorn chicken and oden, but spam fries and ramen burgers.
posted by FJT at 12:29 PM on June 26, 2015

I would like some oden now, please.
posted by Frowner at 12:40 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

I love American food.
posted by ChuckRamone at 12:44 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

I don't care about the sandwich, but "pretzel croissant" is scartching an itch I didn't know I have. Does this exist on the east coast? Is there a recipe a mortal can follow?
posted by Mchelly at 12:44 PM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

Ha ha, I was having a conversation about the State Fair in a private-friend Slack and I was delighted to discovered that the emoji for oden works perfectly as generic "food on a stick" emoji.
posted by Juliet Banana at 12:46 PM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

Fair Meetup Proposal
posted by sparklemotion at 12:48 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

Baking apple pie with Irish whiskey sounds great.
posted by jeather at 12:53 PM on June 26, 2015

Also, 3rding the confusion over "wine fried."

A Mr. William Joel might have some advice for you on this front:

♫ A bottle of red .. a bottle of white ... it all depends on what you'll fry tonight ... ♫

(Alternately, maybe this is like Homer's "wine-dark seas"? In which case, scholars will be arguing over the meaning for a millennia)
posted by tocts at 1:02 PM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

There's nothing here that seems weird to me
posted by thecjm at 1:04 PM on June 26, 2015

I am intrigued yet puzzled by the kale that is "fried in wine". Surely if you heated the wine to frying temperature you'd get first a reduction and then just a sticky burnt mess in the pot?

If they used some kind of broaster/pressure-cooker setup, I bet they could get the wine up to temp without reduction/caramelization issues.
posted by sparklemotion at 1:06 PM on June 26, 2015

I live within walking distance of the Fair, and every year I'm disappointed they don't offer a week long pass so that we could just go grab dinner, which I can't justify at $12 to get in the gates. I think my arteries are ok with it though.

Ontario's equivalent fair, the CNE, offers a full refund on your ticket price if you go and leave again between 11-2 on a weekday as long as you show a receipt from a food vendor on your way out. That way locals can get lunch, and the vendors don't suffer quite as bad weekday slowdowns.
posted by thecjm at 1:09 PM on June 26, 2015 [6 favorites]

Clicked expecting to LOLDEEPFRIEDNASTYCANDYSTUFF, left wanting some of those butter chicken samosas. Actually, a lot of that stuff looked really good.
posted by freecellwizard at 1:10 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

I <3 the fair so hard. That Prime rib-to-go will be in my face right before the maple bacon funnel cake. Half the fun is plotting your eating course with a map.
posted by Bacon Bit at 1:22 PM on June 26, 2015 [3 favorites]

Deep Fried Ribs seems like an idea worth exploring.

It absolutely is! Of course, sane people call them chicken fried ribs.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:29 PM on June 26, 2015

Metafilter: Just want to sit at the milk booth all day.
posted by triggerfinger at 1:29 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

Also, none of these newfangled stunt foods even matter when the only food booth you need is right inside the entrance. Corn fritters with honey butter or GTFO.
posted by triggerfinger at 1:31 PM on June 26, 2015 [4 favorites]

I get caught at the cookies and then the all the milk you can drink for a dollar booth.
posted by maxsparber at 1:34 PM on June 26, 2015

ever since i made the conscious decision not to die of esophageal cancer none of this looks appealing to me anymore.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:36 PM on June 26, 2015 [3 favorites]

This is why you need to go with a group - so you can have a bite with everything but don't have to deal with the entire portion sizes.

Also: guys. guys. Amateur sheepdog competitions. They're the BEST.
posted by dinty_moore at 1:38 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

I dunno I'm more of a pro-am sheepdog kinda guy.
posted by griphus at 1:40 PM on June 26, 2015 [4 favorites]

I live within walking distance of the Fair, and every year I'm disappointed they don't offer a week long pass so that we could just go grab dinner, which I can't justify at $12 to get in the gates. I think my arteries are ok with it though.

I work across the street from the North Carolina State Fairgrounds, and during the Fair they have a system by which you can get free admission for lunch. It is... problematic.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:42 PM on June 26, 2015 [4 favorites]

Yes, the pretzel croissant, yes, this is the one.
posted by SageLeVoid at 1:43 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

Hello Minnesota, our neighbor to the north.

{Examines Minnesota state fair food list} Oh, how nice and dainty.

So will you be coming to the Iowa State Fair to sample some real food, then? BECAUSE WE HAVE THIS.
posted by Wordshore at 1:43 PM on June 26, 2015

let's as a species just concentrate on new types of shoes from here on out

greg why are you racist against people with high arches
posted by poffin boffin at 1:43 PM on June 26, 2015

"Prime Rib to Go," you say. I say I'm kinda glad I'm in California because it would be a bad idea to gain a bunch of weight by eating eleventy million of these.
posted by chimaera at 1:43 PM on June 26, 2015

I don't care about the sandwich, but "pretzel croissant" is scartching an itch I didn't know I have. Does this exist on the east coast?

I haven't seen them in the US, but I had some in Tokyo last December and they were great! The same place also had croissant pretzels, which were merely pretty good. It was Dean & Delucca, which does have locations in the US but probably has different menus in different countries so I dunno.
posted by aubilenon at 1:46 PM on June 26, 2015

So will you be coming to the Iowa State Fair to sample some real food, then? BECAUSE WE HAVE THIS.

That does not look like an explosion to me at all. More like some kind of implosion where the bacon collapsed in on itself to form an ultradense core.

I personally will be waiting for the Indi Frites.
posted by Frowner at 1:46 PM on June 26, 2015

Food: Even several Iowans we spoke to -- who have been to both fairs -- gave the edge to Minnesota. Iowa has its fair share of food on a stick, but Minnesota's state fair has become as much about food as it is about agriculture -- maybe more so.
posted by maxsparber at 1:48 PM on June 26, 2015

make them stuffed with cheese and report back
posted by poffin boffin at 1:49 PM on June 26, 2015

I will give the Iowa State Fair credit for the better theme song, though.
posted by maxsparber at 1:49 PM on June 26, 2015

I get caught at the cookies and then the all the milk you can drink for a dollar booth.

Way back in the day when I was a kid unlimited milk was only a quarter. /oldpeopleprobs
posted by triggerfinger at 1:49 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

"pretzel croissant" is scratching an itch I didn't know I have. Does this exist on the east coast?
I'm sure you can find them elsewhere, but they sell them at MeltKraft in Brooklyn. They're fantastic.
posted by twoporedomain at 1:49 PM on June 26, 2015

...the bacon collapsed in on itself to form an ultradense core...

Lt. LaForge please take Commander Data with you and make sure this won't interfere with our warp capabilities.
posted by griphus at 1:51 PM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

"sauteed in au jus,"

Sauteed in au jus
In au jus
In au

Grrrrraaaaaaajjjjjjjhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
posted by ominous_paws at 2:24 PM on June 26, 2015 [7 favorites]

And served with au jus sauce, presumably
(You can pay for it with the money you got from the ATM machine when you put in your PIN number)
posted by Daily Alice at 2:32 PM on June 26, 2015 [6 favorites]

God damn I miss living in Minnesota.
posted by Ferreous at 2:34 PM on June 26, 2015

Fried in wine, don't you think that's probably like beer batter...but...with wine? Also, I will go out on a limb and say I would eat kale fried that way, based on my experience eating spinach leaves deep-fried in chickpea flour batter which were AWESOME.
posted by clavicle at 2:39 PM on June 26, 2015

Also I have not had the Indi frites yet, but the Indian quasi burritos from Hot Indian Foods are legit fantastic.
posted by clavicle at 2:40 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

I like food.
posted by mazola at 2:48 PM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

spinach leaves deep-fried in chickpea flour batter which were AWESOME.

yes. I had them once, 27 years ago. I think of them sometimes, nostalgically.

I like food.
posted by mazola

Deep fried I take it?
posted by infini at 3:12 PM on June 26, 2015

As inevitably is the case, I'm going to be asked shortly what I would like for dinner and all my options are going to come up short thanks to thinking about this thread all day.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 3:12 PM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

I've had my dinner. And my lunch.

*goes to look in the fridge for tomorrow's lunch*
posted by infini at 3:47 PM on June 26, 2015

I was in line at the White Privilege Supermarket yesterday and Saveur's top story was about The Next Big Foodie City: Minneapolis. I don't think they were talking about this menu.
posted by kozad at 4:13 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

Future food trend?
posted by prize bull octorok at 4:23 PM on June 26, 2015

Mmmmmm.... fried everything!

The heart surgeons must be busy up there.
posted by freakazoid at 4:26 PM on June 26, 2015

Well, they do have the Mayo(naisse) Clinic, so.....
posted by Existential Dread at 4:30 PM on June 26, 2015

Lookk what's hidden under the Frozen Treats cover!

• BBQ Pickle Ice Cream: At R&R Ice Cream
• Butter Queen Coffee Ice Cream: At Hamline Church Dining Hall
• Caramel Chocolate-Dipped Bacon Ice Cream Bar: At Pat’s Place
• Chocolate-Dipped Cherry On-a-Spoon JonnyPop: At JonnyPops
• Chocolate Jalapeño Ice Cream: At Rainbow Ice Cream
(5 locations)
• Chunks O’ Fruti Frozen Strawberry Bar: At Key Lime Pie Bar
• Doo Wop Dip: At West End Creamery
• Dot Shakes: At Dippin' Dots
• Espresso Float: At Java Jive
• Fire and Ice Kreme: At Goertze’s Dairy Kone
• Salted Caramel Puff malts and sundaes: At Dairy Goodness Bar

posted by SLC Mom at 4:41 PM on June 26, 2015 [2 favorites]

You're right. thats enough food. let's stop. let's as a species just concentrate on new types of shoes from here on out

Oh, I see how it is. Ok then. Fine.
posted by phunniemee at 5:03 PM on June 26, 2015 [4 favorites]

Butter chicken samosa... three little words that just made it REALLY DAMN HARD to not have that in my mouth right now.

oh god so hungry
posted by palomar at 7:00 PM on June 26, 2015

General Tso's kimchi and curry poutine haggis kebab spaghetti

The food so American it tastes like bald eagle shit.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 7:20 PM on June 26, 2015

@griphus "Does Tikki On-a-Stikka rhyme in Minnesota?"

No, but it sure scans well.
posted by key_of_z at 7:46 PM on June 26, 2015

BitterOldPunk: The food so American it tastes like bald eagle shit.

Since bald eagles can be scavengers, if one of them got into a State Fair dumpster that could be literally true.
posted by traveler_ at 8:31 PM on June 26, 2015

Note the limited offer. WHY?

Presumably because everyone involved will either be dead or in intensive cardiac care within a week of the fair opening.
posted by ryanshepard at 8:47 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

Cold bread pudding is vile.
posted by brujita at 10:19 PM on June 26, 2015

Strongly disagree! A nice cold dense brick of bread pudding is tasty as heck.
posted by prize bull octorok at 10:41 PM on June 26, 2015 [1 favorite]

Snicker bar salad. The salad you CAN win friends with!
posted by pianissimo at 4:11 AM on June 27, 2015

A fair is a rat's paradise. Everybody spills food at a fair. A rat can creep out late at night and have a feast. In the horse barn you will find oats that the trotters and pacers have spilled. In the trampled grass of the infield you will find old discarded lunch boxes containing the foul remains of peanut butter sandwiches, hard-boiled eggs, cracker crumbs, bits of doughnuts, and particles of cheese. In the hard-packed dirt of the midway, after the glaring lights are out and the people have gone home to bed, you will find a veritable treasure of popcorn fragments, frozen custard dribblings, candied apples abandoned by tired children, sugar fluff crystals, salted almonds, popsicles,partially gnawed ice cream cones,and the wooden sticks of lollypops. Everywhere is loot for a rat--in tents, in booths, in hay lofts--why, a fair has enough disgusting leftover food to satisfy a whole army of rats.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:50 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]

That's a children's book. You just wrote a children's book.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:01 PM on July 1, 2015

Well, E.B. White did, but yes.
posted by Chrysostom at 10:08 PM on July 1, 2015 [2 favorites]

Well, you typed it out. It's yours now. That's how it works.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:27 PM on July 1, 2015 [3 favorites]

A short documentary on seed art, mentioned upthread.
posted by dinty_moore at 7:46 PM on July 9, 2015 [1 favorite]

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