Also, Play Stations, kitty litter, and dinners at Alinea.
November 28, 2015 1:43 PM Subscribe
Did you buy a gold plated dildo on Black Friday? Are you sure?
If you participated in this year's Cards Against Humanity Black Friday Non-Sale, you helped buy the dildo and a wide variety of other things from Socks to Scotch.
If you participated in this year's Cards Against Humanity Black Friday Non-Sale, you helped buy the dildo and a wide variety of other things from Socks to Scotch.
...keep an eye on Jenn and Tom there. Or at least warn any local dragons...
posted by The Whelk at 1:52 PM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 1:52 PM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
fools and their money are soon parted...
posted by shockingbluamp at 2:13 PM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by shockingbluamp at 2:13 PM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
there are already two yc startups planning to disrupt this bizmod
edit: ok one of them already tanked
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:13 PM on November 28, 2015 [6 favorites]
edit: ok one of them already tanked
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:13 PM on November 28, 2015 [6 favorites]
Three different bottles of Lagavulin? That's someone after my own heart.
posted by languagehat at 2:19 PM on November 28, 2015 [13 favorites]
posted by languagehat at 2:19 PM on November 28, 2015 [13 favorites]
If someone gave me a car worth $1,000, I'd consider that one MORE thing I'd have to worry about.
posted by randomkeystrike at 2:28 PM on November 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by randomkeystrike at 2:28 PM on November 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
fools and their money are soon parted...
I don't know, it's literally free money... I feel like they had an obligation to spend it frivolously, as well as give to charity. They did both (except Kevin; did he miss the 'give some of the fucking money to charity' memo that was sent out, or what?).
posted by el io at 2:29 PM on November 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
I don't know, it's literally free money... I feel like they had an obligation to spend it frivolously, as well as give to charity. They did both (except Kevin; did he miss the 'give some of the fucking money to charity' memo that was sent out, or what?).
posted by el io at 2:29 PM on November 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
If someone gave me a car worth $1,000, I'd consider that one MORE thing I'd have to worry about.
BUMPTER STICKER IDEA: The things you own tend to own you.
posted by Fizz at 2:31 PM on November 28, 2015
BUMPTER STICKER IDEA: The things you own tend to own you.
posted by Fizz at 2:31 PM on November 28, 2015
Did you buy a gold plated dildo on Black Friday? Are you sure?
i could have sworn that david caruso said this very line in a csi miami episode
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:39 PM on November 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
i could have sworn that david caruso said this very line in a csi miami episode
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:39 PM on November 28, 2015 [4 favorites]
Fucking Kevin.
posted by pretentious illiterate at 2:48 PM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by pretentious illiterate at 2:48 PM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
I thought the "fools and their money" comment was directed more at the people who chipped in for these purchases than at the people who made them.
posted by Earthtopus at 3:01 PM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Earthtopus at 3:01 PM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
People are weird.
posted by PMdixon at 3:07 PM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by PMdixon at 3:07 PM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
If someone gave me a car worth $1,000, I'd consider that one MORE thing I'd have to worry about.
A Chevy Suburban, no less. I guess that's where the "against humanity" part comes in ...
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:16 PM on November 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
A Chevy Suburban, no less. I guess that's where the "against humanity" part comes in ...
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:16 PM on November 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
I happen to like humanity, thank you very much
posted by koeselitz at 3:19 PM on November 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by koeselitz at 3:19 PM on November 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
I feel like you can optimize this judgement loop by offering to get people a beer and then yelling at them for what they order.
posted by srboisvert at 3:30 PM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 3:30 PM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
I love how we are riffing on Kevin for not donating, when he already got ~$600 less to spent than the others. Wonder what’s up with that!
I wanted to see the average amount of money people donated, so I pushed all their data into a little spreadsheet. They spent $70,754.39, of which $22,135.37 (31.28%) went away in donations. Not counting cash and food that Claire and Nick want to spread themselves.
Without including Kevin, everyone gave an average of 32.99% of their “windfall profit” away in donations. Matt gave away most (60.26%!!!) of his windfall, $2,522.00 to Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains.
posted by Martijn at 3:46 PM on November 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
I wanted to see the average amount of money people donated, so I pushed all their data into a little spreadsheet. They spent $70,754.39, of which $22,135.37 (31.28%) went away in donations. Not counting cash and food that Claire and Nick want to spread themselves.
Without including Kevin, everyone gave an average of 32.99% of their “windfall profit” away in donations. Matt gave away most (60.26%!!!) of his windfall, $2,522.00 to Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains.
posted by Martijn at 3:46 PM on November 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
Kevin got screwed.
Also, it looks like Holly might find herself a little… tied up in Finland
*sunglasses* YEAAAAAAHHHH
posted by a halcyon day at 4:01 PM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
Also, it looks like Holly might find herself a little… tied up in Finland
*sunglasses* YEAAAAAAHHHH
posted by a halcyon day at 4:01 PM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
>Did you buy a gold plated dildo on Black Friday? Are you sure?
Of course I didn't. Yes I'm sure!
Are you sure?
Yes, certainly.
Are you sure?
Well, yes? Er, wait a second... (looks closely)
Oh god, how did this happen!
posted by JHarris at 4:53 PM on November 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
Of course I didn't. Yes I'm sure!
Are you sure?
Yes, certainly.
Are you sure?
Well, yes? Er, wait a second... (looks closely)
Oh god, how did this happen!
posted by JHarris at 4:53 PM on November 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
This is giving me a very visceral "this is grotesque" reaction; the sheer length of the "here's all the stuff we bought" list.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 5:35 PM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 5:35 PM on November 28, 2015 [2 favorites]
I found it hilarious - they were given one hour to compose their lists. It's very interesting what people will buy when they are under a time limit and have to spend it all. I'm sure if they were given 24 hours or a week a lot of the things in the lists would be different.
posted by Windigo at 5:44 PM on November 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by Windigo at 5:44 PM on November 28, 2015 [5 favorites]
Well, not to get all judgey, but Kevin is the only one that didn't donate to anyone but himself. Does that make him kind of a dick? Sorry Kevin, I'd imagine it's kinda awkward enough for you around the water cooler...
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:46 PM on November 28, 2015
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:46 PM on November 28, 2015
This is MetaFilter's business model.
posted by Miko at 6:04 PM on November 28, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by Miko at 6:04 PM on November 28, 2015 [10 favorites]
I was thinking, "aw, it's sweet he bought his mom the car she was saving up for." I'm poorer than the Mefi average, so if I bought my mom a car for $1k outright, we'd talk about it for the rest of our lives like it was a miracle, pretty much.
Or, you know, maybe he just spent $1k towards a car for his mom, and didn't buy the entire car. Though it's a 1999, so I don't know.
posted by blnkfrnk at 6:06 PM on November 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
Or, you know, maybe he just spent $1k towards a car for his mom, and didn't buy the entire car. Though it's a 1999, so I don't know.
posted by blnkfrnk at 6:06 PM on November 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
The other thing that's interesting besides the "how much to charity" is the calculus that some of them have done on "how much to use as fungible cash."
The $1500 Roth IRA contribution and the student loan payments are the most obvious, but there's also "two months of my gas bill", and arguably "760 lbs of cat litter" is a "stuff I would be buying anyway" pre-purchase.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 6:35 PM on November 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
The $1500 Roth IRA contribution and the student loan payments are the most obvious, but there's also "two months of my gas bill", and arguably "760 lbs of cat litter" is a "stuff I would be buying anyway" pre-purchase.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 6:35 PM on November 28, 2015 [3 favorites]
(also, huh, the list is unsearchable because it's a bunch of images.)
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 6:35 PM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 6:35 PM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
Super jealous right now of the one that got LASIK.
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:00 PM on November 28, 2015
posted by Hermione Granger at 7:00 PM on November 28, 2015
Now I'm wondering if Tom and I have friends in common. I know people who teach armored combat in Chicago.
posted by anastasiav at 7:18 PM on November 28, 2015
posted by anastasiav at 7:18 PM on November 28, 2015
I happen to like humanity, thank you very much
You can fix that by reading the comments.
posted by jimmythefish at 7:18 PM on November 28, 2015 [6 favorites]
You can fix that by reading the comments.
posted by jimmythefish at 7:18 PM on November 28, 2015 [6 favorites]
Well, maybe Kevin is planning to do the charitable work with the bed he bought, you know?
posted by halfbuckaroo at 7:29 PM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by halfbuckaroo at 7:29 PM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]
This made me really happy. It's so nice to see people being able to buy the things they want and a bunch of good causes get money.
Shrug. I don't know maybe I'm easy.
posted by WidgetAlley at 7:32 PM on November 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
Shrug. I don't know maybe I'm easy.
posted by WidgetAlley at 7:32 PM on November 28, 2015 [8 favorites]
I'm with WidgetAlley. Some of this list just flat out made me sniffle, too.
posted by joycehealy at 9:20 PM on November 28, 2015
posted by joycehealy at 9:20 PM on November 28, 2015
No reparations payments from Max, huh?
posted by ShawnStruck at 12:44 AM on November 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by ShawnStruck at 12:44 AM on November 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
Man, I want to go drinking with these people so bad right now.
posted by sldownard at 1:35 AM on November 29, 2015
posted by sldownard at 1:35 AM on November 29, 2015
Jenn bought a pair of aviator sunglasses, an $800 replica Legolas longbow, a bespoke leather quiver, and a $1200 bespoke Robin Hood costume. I have no idea what she's planning to do but I bet it will be awesome and involve fighting crime and I kind of want to hang out with her.
posted by Justinian at 7:15 AM on November 29, 2015 [12 favorites]
posted by Justinian at 7:15 AM on November 29, 2015 [12 favorites]
Although clearly it involves a team-up with Tom, he of the $1500 suit of armor and $600 greatsword with 40" blade. Together, they fight crime!
posted by Justinian at 7:17 AM on November 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Justinian at 7:17 AM on November 29, 2015 [2 favorites]
> This made me really happy. It's so nice to see people being able to buy the things they want and a bunch of good causes get money.
You'll need to be a lot judgier if you want to fit in around here.
posted by languagehat at 7:42 AM on November 29, 2015 [12 favorites]
You'll need to be a lot judgier if you want to fit in around here.
posted by languagehat at 7:42 AM on November 29, 2015 [12 favorites]
Jenn is going to Medieval Times.
To build an army.
posted by knuckle tattoos at 10:49 AM on November 29, 2015
To build an army.
posted by knuckle tattoos at 10:49 AM on November 29, 2015
Nick: Season Pass to watch Mr. Robot
Trin: Paying divorce attorney
Good for them!
I thought the bed was excessive.
posted by Room 641-A at 12:25 PM on November 29, 2015
Trin: Paying divorce attorney
Good for them!
I thought the bed was excessive.
posted by Room 641-A at 12:25 PM on November 29, 2015
Maybe my brain is just weird, but if i suddenly had $4.2k-ish it would be SO HARD to not just spend the entire thing on an epic backpacking/cheap traveling adventure. Friends of mine have disappeared for the better part of an entire year with around that much money before. That's a lot of cheapo airbnb/hostel/etc money once you get the big other-continent airfare out of the way.
Like, i don't know if i'd be able to just buy stuff unless it was something i could clearly make a case for needing while i was traveling. My unlocked phone, few year old laptop, few year old mirrorless camera, etc all work fine. Get me some plane tickets and a nicer backpack or duffle or something.
posted by emptythought at 6:35 PM on November 29, 2015
Like, i don't know if i'd be able to just buy stuff unless it was something i could clearly make a case for needing while i was traveling. My unlocked phone, few year old laptop, few year old mirrorless camera, etc all work fine. Get me some plane tickets and a nicer backpack or duffle or something.
posted by emptythought at 6:35 PM on November 29, 2015
Claire
Claire had best start calling Nick "Green Mushroom", cuz she just got one-upped.
(This was neat, and I'd really like to believe that they all came up with their ideas without consulting with each other)
posted by Mayor West at 6:51 AM on November 30, 2015
- 50 $1 bills to keep in my purse and hand out to people with signs because I never carry cash and I always feel guilty
- 50 $2 bills to hand out in Chicago between December 31st and January 1st to folks having a hard time
Claire had best start calling Nick "Green Mushroom", cuz she just got one-upped.
(This was neat, and I'd really like to believe that they all came up with their ideas without consulting with each other)
posted by Mayor West at 6:51 AM on November 30, 2015
I'm somewhat disappointed that no one started a cat ranch. For rescues, I mean.
posted by MexicanYenta at 9:04 AM on November 30, 2015
posted by MexicanYenta at 9:04 AM on November 30, 2015
They spent a big chunk of their money (an entire day's revenue from their Hanukkah sale) hiring out the factory in China that makes their products for an entire week to produce nothing... so that the staff there could have a paid week off to spend with their families.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:07 PM on December 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by DirtyOldTown at 12:07 PM on December 20, 2015 [3 favorites]
I've said it before, I'll say it again: I wonder whether that Picasso will get cut into squares
posted by infinitewindow at 12:14 PM on December 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by infinitewindow at 12:14 PM on December 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
probably cubes
posted by Sys Rq at 6:49 PM on December 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Sys Rq at 6:49 PM on December 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
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