2015’S Biggest Albums, Courtesy of 1-Star Amazon Reviewers
December 22, 2015 6:57 AM Subscribe
Vice's Noisey compiled the most important list of the year: 2015's Biggest Albums Rated By 1-Star Amazon Reviewers.
Kendrick Lamar - To Pimp a Butterfly
MOST OVERRATED ALBUM OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!! Beats are pure garbage! Lyrically he's decent but his voice is wack juice! There so many MCS out today who are hig age and make much BETTER music and it's REAL Hip Hop Music NOT THIS CA CA!
THE SHEEP WILL KEEP FOLLOWING THIS RADIO GARBAGE!
Kendrick Lamar - To Pimp a Butterfly
MOST OVERRATED ALBUM OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!! Beats are pure garbage! Lyrically he's decent but his voice is wack juice! There so many MCS out today who are hig age and make much BETTER music and it's REAL Hip Hop Music NOT THIS CA CA!
THE SHEEP WILL KEEP FOLLOWING THIS RADIO GARBAGE!
Initially I was angry to see Carly Rae Jepsen left off the list, but then I checked and there actually aren't any one star reviews. In this case, the judgment of Amazon is right and proper.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:07 AM on December 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:07 AM on December 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
Points for the self introspection of Not really my cup of tea!, though 1 star seems a little harsh for that, suggesting vicious streak of passive aggression.
posted by Artw at 7:07 AM on December 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Artw at 7:07 AM on December 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
When I'm checking reviews I routinely judge things by going straight to the one star ratings. I find that the more incoherent gibberish, the more likely for it, whatever it is, to be a quality product.
posted by cmoj at 7:15 AM on December 22, 2015 [14 favorites]
posted by cmoj at 7:15 AM on December 22, 2015 [14 favorites]
I orderd this for my son. I don't listen to this stuff.
I love this one for some reason. It's like you're at the register trying to work in a casual, 'Oh, this isn't for me' so you don't get judged by someone who doesn't care anyway.
Points for the self introspection of Not really my cup of tea!, though 1 star seems a little harsh for that, suggesting vicious streak of passive aggression.
I've loved this one too, mixed in among the bile. In my mind the one star rating is just to help Amazon train its algorithms, nothing mean about it.
posted by mark k at 7:16 AM on December 22, 2015
I love this one for some reason. It's like you're at the register trying to work in a casual, 'Oh, this isn't for me' so you don't get judged by someone who doesn't care anyway.
Points for the self introspection of Not really my cup of tea!, though 1 star seems a little harsh for that, suggesting vicious streak of passive aggression.
I've loved this one too, mixed in among the bile. In my mind the one star rating is just to help Amazon train its algorithms, nothing mean about it.
posted by mark k at 7:16 AM on December 22, 2015
In British English "not really my cup of tea" *could* be a deadly insult, depending on what tone of voice and nonverbal clues the speaker is suppressing at the time.
posted by Artw at 7:30 AM on December 22, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by Artw at 7:30 AM on December 22, 2015 [8 favorites]
In my lifetime I can think of three bands that changed their sound to the drastic level that Mumford and Sons has on this album. The first was DMB. Dave abandoned his acoustic guitar on Everyday but the vibe felt the same with the violin and sax carrying the album. John Mayer went folky/country on his latest album but fortunately he is so talented the album is nothing but a joy to listen to. And then of course we have Garth Brooks who gave up his country sound to become Chris Gaines in an awful debacle of awkward rock music
Pretty sure this guy's just taking the piss here. There's no other reason to bring Chris Gaines into a conversation about Mumford and Sons.
posted by Flashman at 7:48 AM on December 22, 2015
Pretty sure this guy's just taking the piss here. There's no other reason to bring Chris Gaines into a conversation about Mumford and Sons.
posted by Flashman at 7:48 AM on December 22, 2015
Sad to think THOSE were the biggest albums of the year...
posted by Theta States at 7:49 AM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Theta States at 7:49 AM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
How did they not use any 1-star reviews that started out with complaints about the shipping, condition of the received product, how late seller was, etc.
posted by pxe2000 at 7:50 AM on December 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by pxe2000 at 7:50 AM on December 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
That reminds me of one of MeFi's own cstross' blog posts, which collated spectacularly point-missing bad reviews of his books (like the one from someone who complained that a sci-fi novel didn't expound on free-market economics).
posted by acb at 8:18 AM on December 22, 2015
posted by acb at 8:18 AM on December 22, 2015
I did not even know that some of these albums existed, and I am not sure how I should feel about that.
posted by cubby at 9:34 AM on December 22, 2015
posted by cubby at 9:34 AM on December 22, 2015
Express your uncertainty as one-star reviews.
posted by Sangermaine at 9:37 AM on December 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Sangermaine at 9:37 AM on December 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Reminds me of Wits which has comedians do dramatic reading Amazon 1 star reviews of classics.
posted by eye of newt at 9:40 AM on December 22, 2015
posted by eye of newt at 9:40 AM on December 22, 2015
I found a better Wits video: Keegan-Michael Key.
posted by eye of newt at 9:47 AM on December 22, 2015
posted by eye of newt at 9:47 AM on December 22, 2015
Speaking of people who hate music, Pitchfork recently posted 2015: The Year in Disappointment
posted by schmod at 10:02 AM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by schmod at 10:02 AM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]
I never really care for one-star reviews of well-liked things. There's always some bellyacher convinced they are the only ones with discerning enough tastes to not be duped, unlike the rest of the sheeplike public, and they are here to tell us the truth about the current rayal and his questionable habiliments.
They're always the same, and so tedious. Give me instead the people who unabashedly love what everybody else hates. They usually have something interesting to say.
So: Album of the Year's worst rated records of 2015, and the people who love them:
1. Pope Francis - Wake Up!
Francis has done what no Pope before has done. He's released a pop rock album. For that he deserves some credit. That the music is reasonably good, and on some tracks excellent, deserves even more credit! I encourage you to give this album a try. If nothing else, Por que sufren los ninos?, track 2, deserves a full listen.
2. Bullet For My Valentine - Venom
Bullet for My Valentine are a hard rock band from Wales. I have all their albums and these guys get better every time. It's in your face rock and I love it! I've seen them many times in concert and they deliver every time! This is one of their best albums to date. This bands shows how hard they can rock and also playing ballads too. These guys don't play around!
3. Matt & Kim - New Glow
Once again Matt and Kim release an album that makes you want to get up and run. Each of their albums I have rated on a scale of how helpful they are to my morning 5k's. So far an album of theirs have yet to let down (9/10). Each album is about 30 minutes perfect for a 5k. This album has a few slower songs but they are still catchy and full of energy and life. So I would rate it a 9/10 for runs but a 10/10 overall because they tried new sounds.
4. Man Without Country - Maximum Entropy
Simply incredible music and gorgeous album and vinyl art.
5. Imagine Dragons - Smoke + Mirrors
There is no offensive language, and there are some really catchy ear worms to be had.
6. Brian Wilson - No Pier Pressure
I've read all the negative reviews - this is not really a Brian Wilson record; it's just a failed, weak commercial effort to be current but really just repeats the same, worn-out 60's fantasy, and is not relevant or topical; it's a weird, uneven mixed bag by a scatterbrained, out of touch old man.
All I can say is I've listened to it constantly for almost 2 weeks and it's a great Brian Wilson record with 16 diverse and fascinating tracks. What more can you say or ask for? The emotional catharsis achieved when he's sings "If there was just another chance for me to sing to you.... There's never enough time for the ones that you love..." shows why grown men weep at his concerts.
7. Giorgio Moroder - Déjà Vu
The songs on this album are cut for radio play, and I look forward to his extended mixes and remixes. This is a keeper, y'all. Straight from the master himself.
8. Mumford & Sons - Wilder Mind
Yes, as a guitarist, I could wish for a little more riffage - some variance in some of the guitar tones used, a little more overdrive to ramp up the energetic parts. But that's a stylistic preference, not a statement on the quality of this album.
9. Meghan Trainor - Title
Can't think of a better way to drown out my more annoying coworkers than Meghan Trainor. I sincerely hope this isn't a one shot deal.
10. Muse - Drones
Not usually a fan of anti-war albums since I believe strongly in defending one's country from aggressors, I love this album because it surpasses the rest by not getting on a specific soapbox but instead capturing the horror of a global takeover by flawed humans and their very non-human, remorseless drones.
All compelling points!
posted by maxsparber at 10:20 AM on December 22, 2015 [7 favorites]
They're always the same, and so tedious. Give me instead the people who unabashedly love what everybody else hates. They usually have something interesting to say.
So: Album of the Year's worst rated records of 2015, and the people who love them:
1. Pope Francis - Wake Up!
Francis has done what no Pope before has done. He's released a pop rock album. For that he deserves some credit. That the music is reasonably good, and on some tracks excellent, deserves even more credit! I encourage you to give this album a try. If nothing else, Por que sufren los ninos?, track 2, deserves a full listen.
2. Bullet For My Valentine - Venom
Bullet for My Valentine are a hard rock band from Wales. I have all their albums and these guys get better every time. It's in your face rock and I love it! I've seen them many times in concert and they deliver every time! This is one of their best albums to date. This bands shows how hard they can rock and also playing ballads too. These guys don't play around!
3. Matt & Kim - New Glow
Once again Matt and Kim release an album that makes you want to get up and run. Each of their albums I have rated on a scale of how helpful they are to my morning 5k's. So far an album of theirs have yet to let down (9/10). Each album is about 30 minutes perfect for a 5k. This album has a few slower songs but they are still catchy and full of energy and life. So I would rate it a 9/10 for runs but a 10/10 overall because they tried new sounds.
4. Man Without Country - Maximum Entropy
Simply incredible music and gorgeous album and vinyl art.
5. Imagine Dragons - Smoke + Mirrors
There is no offensive language, and there are some really catchy ear worms to be had.
6. Brian Wilson - No Pier Pressure
I've read all the negative reviews - this is not really a Brian Wilson record; it's just a failed, weak commercial effort to be current but really just repeats the same, worn-out 60's fantasy, and is not relevant or topical; it's a weird, uneven mixed bag by a scatterbrained, out of touch old man.
All I can say is I've listened to it constantly for almost 2 weeks and it's a great Brian Wilson record with 16 diverse and fascinating tracks. What more can you say or ask for? The emotional catharsis achieved when he's sings "If there was just another chance for me to sing to you.... There's never enough time for the ones that you love..." shows why grown men weep at his concerts.
7. Giorgio Moroder - Déjà Vu
The songs on this album are cut for radio play, and I look forward to his extended mixes and remixes. This is a keeper, y'all. Straight from the master himself.
8. Mumford & Sons - Wilder Mind
Yes, as a guitarist, I could wish for a little more riffage - some variance in some of the guitar tones used, a little more overdrive to ramp up the energetic parts. But that's a stylistic preference, not a statement on the quality of this album.
9. Meghan Trainor - Title
Can't think of a better way to drown out my more annoying coworkers than Meghan Trainor. I sincerely hope this isn't a one shot deal.
10. Muse - Drones
Not usually a fan of anti-war albums since I believe strongly in defending one's country from aggressors, I love this album because it surpasses the rest by not getting on a specific soapbox but instead capturing the horror of a global takeover by flawed humans and their very non-human, remorseless drones.
All compelling points!
posted by maxsparber at 10:20 AM on December 22, 2015 [7 favorites]
Once again Matt and Kim release an album that makes you want to get up and run.
Yup.
posted by mannequito at 12:12 PM on December 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Yup.
posted by mannequito at 12:12 PM on December 22, 2015 [2 favorites]
Sad to think THOSE were the biggest albums of the year...
Yeah. Of what I've heard, I'd give most of those one star (with coherent, thoughtful reasons for why.)
posted by naju at 12:21 PM on December 22, 2015
Yeah. Of what I've heard, I'd give most of those one star (with coherent, thoughtful reasons for why.)
posted by naju at 12:21 PM on December 22, 2015
To be fair, "Canadian Squiggy Gone Wild" is a fairly solid analysis of Justin Bieber.
posted by Rock Steady at 2:14 PM on December 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
posted by Rock Steady at 2:14 PM on December 22, 2015 [3 favorites]
Sufjan Album Not Sad Enough Just Kidding
posted by Theta States at 8:14 AM on December 23, 2015
posted by Theta States at 8:14 AM on December 23, 2015
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How is that not praise? I am perplexed by the one-star rating, unless the rater purchased the cd hoping that the daughter would loathe it or, perhaps, the cd would do her actual harm.....
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:00 AM on December 22, 2015 [1 favorite]