He's takin' to the stars, to take down the man!
February 2, 2016 12:01 PM Subscribe
Grindhouse Star Wars (slyt)
What amazes me most about this is that the film would have been campy and crappy if it had been put out like this. it wouldn't have felt like a kids movie - there would have been no toys, and realistically the dialogue in the first movie would have warranted this level of respect.
It was the models, the effects and for the love of all things holy - the music that saved this film from rounding out a double or triple feature at a drive through where your parents were likely making out.
Also what amazes me is that after almost 40 years the original film still has the best source material for fandom.
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:19 PM on February 2, 2016
It was the models, the effects and for the love of all things holy - the music that saved this film from rounding out a double or triple feature at a drive through where your parents were likely making out.
Also what amazes me is that after almost 40 years the original film still has the best source material for fandom.
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:19 PM on February 2, 2016
Don't forget the sound design and the editing, omg. And read the original draft if you want to really understand how bad this should have been...
LUKE The time has come for me to tell you of your heritage, as Deak told it to me and as his older brother Cliegg told it to him. In another time, long before the Empire, and before the Republic had been formed, a holy man called the Skywalker became aware of a powerful energy field which he believed influenced the destiny of all living creatures...
BIGGS The "FORCE OF OTHERS"!
LUKE Yes, and after much study, he was able to know the force, and it communicated with him. He came to see things in a new way. His "aura" and powers grew very strong. The Skywalker brought a new life to the people of his system, and became one of the founders of the Republic Galactica.
WINDY The "FORCE OF OTHERS" talked to him!?!
LUKE In a manner different from the way we talk. As you know, the "FORCE OF OTHERS" has two halves: Ashla, the good, and Bogan, the paraforce or evil part. Fortunately, Skywalker came to know the good half and was able to resist the paraforce; but he realized that if he taught others the way of the Ashla, some, with less strength, might come to know Bogan, the dark side, and bring un- thinkable suffering to the Universe. For this reason, the Skywalker entrusted the secret of THE FORCE only to his twelve children, and they in turn passed on the knowledge only to their children, who became known as the Jedi Bendu of the Ashla: "the servants of the force". For thousands of years, they brought peace and justice to the galaxy. At one time there were several hundred Jedi families, but now there are only two or three.
WINDY What happened to them?
LUKE As the Republic spread throughout the galaxy, encompassing over a million worlds, the GREAT SENATE grew to such overwhelming propor- tions that it no longer responded to the needs of its citizens. After a series of assassinations and elaborately rigged elections, the Great Senate became secretly controlled by the Power and Trans- port guilds. When the Jedi dis- covered the conspiracy and attempted to purge the Senate, they were de- nounced as traitors. Several Jedi allowed themselves to be tried and executed, but most of them fled into the Outland systems and tried to tell people of the conspiracy. But the elders chose to remain behind, and the Great Senate diverted them by creating civil disorder. The Senate secretly instigated race wars, and aided anti-government terrorists. They slowed down the system of jus- tice, which caused the crime rate to rise to the point where a totally controlled and oppressive police state was welcomed by the systems. The Empire was born. The systems were exploited by a new economic policy which raised the cost of power and transport to unbelievable heights. Many worlds were destroyed this way. Many people starved...
posted by Sebmojo at 12:58 PM on February 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
LUKE The time has come for me to tell you of your heritage, as Deak told it to me and as his older brother Cliegg told it to him. In another time, long before the Empire, and before the Republic had been formed, a holy man called the Skywalker became aware of a powerful energy field which he believed influenced the destiny of all living creatures...
BIGGS The "FORCE OF OTHERS"!
LUKE Yes, and after much study, he was able to know the force, and it communicated with him. He came to see things in a new way. His "aura" and powers grew very strong. The Skywalker brought a new life to the people of his system, and became one of the founders of the Republic Galactica.
WINDY The "FORCE OF OTHERS" talked to him!?!
LUKE In a manner different from the way we talk. As you know, the "FORCE OF OTHERS" has two halves: Ashla, the good, and Bogan, the paraforce or evil part. Fortunately, Skywalker came to know the good half and was able to resist the paraforce; but he realized that if he taught others the way of the Ashla, some, with less strength, might come to know Bogan, the dark side, and bring un- thinkable suffering to the Universe. For this reason, the Skywalker entrusted the secret of THE FORCE only to his twelve children, and they in turn passed on the knowledge only to their children, who became known as the Jedi Bendu of the Ashla: "the servants of the force". For thousands of years, they brought peace and justice to the galaxy. At one time there were several hundred Jedi families, but now there are only two or three.
WINDY What happened to them?
LUKE As the Republic spread throughout the galaxy, encompassing over a million worlds, the GREAT SENATE grew to such overwhelming propor- tions that it no longer responded to the needs of its citizens. After a series of assassinations and elaborately rigged elections, the Great Senate became secretly controlled by the Power and Trans- port guilds. When the Jedi dis- covered the conspiracy and attempted to purge the Senate, they were de- nounced as traitors. Several Jedi allowed themselves to be tried and executed, but most of them fled into the Outland systems and tried to tell people of the conspiracy. But the elders chose to remain behind, and the Great Senate diverted them by creating civil disorder. The Senate secretly instigated race wars, and aided anti-government terrorists. They slowed down the system of jus- tice, which caused the crime rate to rise to the point where a totally controlled and oppressive police state was welcomed by the systems. The Empire was born. The systems were exploited by a new economic policy which raised the cost of power and transport to unbelievable heights. Many worlds were destroyed this way. Many people starved...
posted by Sebmojo at 12:58 PM on February 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
As you know, the "FORCE OF OTHERS" has two halves: Ashla, the good, and Bogan, the paraforce or evil part
Don't underestimate the power of the Bogan.
posted by nubs at 1:04 PM on February 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
Don't underestimate the power of the Bogan.
posted by nubs at 1:04 PM on February 2, 2016 [5 favorites]
Darth Mole.
posted by howfar at 1:40 PM on February 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by howfar at 1:40 PM on February 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
Don't forget the sound design and the editing, omg.
Well, the sound design, anyway.
Wipes, dude. Wipes.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:54 PM on February 2, 2016
Well, the sound design, anyway.
Wipes, dude. Wipes.
posted by Sys Rq at 1:54 PM on February 2, 2016
I find your lack of faith disturbing...Sucker!
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:18 PM on February 2, 2016 [4 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:18 PM on February 2, 2016 [4 favorites]
That first draft is incontrovertible proof that the Phantom Menace was made by the same guy
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:08 PM on February 2, 2016 [7 favorites]
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:08 PM on February 2, 2016 [7 favorites]
It was the models, the effects and for the love of all things holy - the music that saved this film
obligatory Throne Room scene without music
posted by mcstayinskool at 3:20 PM on February 2, 2016
obligatory Throne Room scene without music
posted by mcstayinskool at 3:20 PM on February 2, 2016
Two Wilhelms for the win!
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 6:23 PM on February 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 6:23 PM on February 2, 2016 [2 favorites]
Nanukthedog: "What amazes me most about this is that the film would have been campy and crappy if it had been put out like this. "
Hah, to me what amazes me most is that the video describes exactly the sensibility of Star Wars and that's actually why it's such a great film. The plot is exactly as described, no need to exaggerate or cleverly misdirect. The only difference between this video and Star Wars as it was given to us is that they removed the sound effects genius of the incomparable Ben Burtt.
posted by capricorn at 7:24 PM on February 2, 2016
Hah, to me what amazes me most is that the video describes exactly the sensibility of Star Wars and that's actually why it's such a great film. The plot is exactly as described, no need to exaggerate or cleverly misdirect. The only difference between this video and Star Wars as it was given to us is that they removed the sound effects genius of the incomparable Ben Burtt.
posted by capricorn at 7:24 PM on February 2, 2016
Revenge is a dish best served... ... ... ... IN SPACE! Yep that's where it belongs all right. (Personally I feel it would still have been a wonderful film experience.)
posted by Coaticass at 2:51 AM on February 3, 2016
posted by Coaticass at 2:51 AM on February 3, 2016
I sometimes wonder what Star Wars would be like if you edited it down to the Roger Corman approved magic ninety minute running time
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 11:01 AM on February 3, 2016
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 11:01 AM on February 3, 2016
Don't underestimate the power of the Bogan.
I would never do that.
posted by Sebmojo at 1:19 PM on February 4, 2016
I would never do that.
posted by Sebmojo at 1:19 PM on February 4, 2016
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posted by infinitewindow at 12:16 PM on February 2, 2016 [7 favorites]