COMPUTER_

June 9, 2016 10:15 PM

??????????????????????????????
You’re A Computer. 
Can You Pass The Turing Test?
??????????????????????????????

(Single link Clickhole game)
posted by Artw (37 comments total)

oh yeah, not a computer, passed 1st time

"Let me tell you about my mother..." BLAM
posted by gkr at 10:27 PM on June 9, 2016 [3 favorites]

That was the most trouble anybody has ever gone to in order to complain about Anthony Bourdain.
posted by zachlipton at 10:39 PM on June 9, 2016 [31 favorites]

That's the second time this week I've had to kick a toaster.
posted by not the fingers, not the fingers at 10:47 PM on June 9, 2016 [7 favorites]

COMPUTER
posted by biogeo at 10:53 PM on June 9, 2016 [1 favorite]

COMPUTER_
posted by Special Agent Dale Cooper at 11:07 PM on June 9, 2016

COMPUTER__
posted by Joey Michaels at 11:30 PM on June 9, 2016

I was once on a help desk. We had a tracking system set up so that when a user emailed [e-mail] the program would automatically generate a work order and reply to the user with, essentially, "Yeah, we got it and will work on your problem. Don't reply to this email." Not as simple as that, but maybe it should have been.

You probably know where this is going but it was fun to see it in action.

So, we once had a user email it.support suggesting that they weren't receiving emails.

We see it and it's logged. We'll get to it in a second.

Then they reply again to it.support. "Ok."

Then they reply again to it.support. "Ok."

Then they reply again to it.support. "Ok."

Then they reply again to it.support. "Ok."

Then they reply again to it.support. "Ok."

After the first two, I'm distractedly interested in what's happening here. As the end user receiving a copy of these emails and work orders, I'm thinking:

"Holy shit. They're failing the Turing test. At this point I cannot tell if they're an algorithm or human. In fact, without context, I'd call this user a bot."

We had to phone them to ask them to stop it.

At least it proved that they were fucking receiving email.
posted by converge at 12:38 AM on June 10, 2016 [31 favorites]

Does it pass the Tay test?
posted by adept256 at 2:07 AM on June 10, 2016 [1 favorite]

Funnily enough, the game itself would make a decent Turing test.
posted by Dr Dracator at 2:54 AM on June 10, 2016

Dissed by a statue. Even in winning I've lost.
posted by comealongpole at 4:14 AM on June 10, 2016 [3 favorites]

Readme Doctor Memory?
posted by Strange Interlude at 5:28 AM on June 10, 2016 [4 favorites]

Spoilers:





So I got through to the turing test with the toaster and did it 3 times without passing. I guessed that the thing that makes me most human is my legs, but I don't see any option for USING my legs. I assumed I might be able to walk away, but no such option. I see mention above of kicking the toaster, but I don't get that option. Is it because I was playing on my phone?

Also, do you pass the first few tests, against the karate kids, the dog lover and Anthony Bourdain, no matter what you say?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 5:44 AM on June 10, 2016

DON'T GET A SODA
posted by Meatbomb at 5:50 AM on June 10, 2016 [8 favorites]

Hopefully not too much of a derail:

economic consequences of machines passing the turing test
posted by Reasonably Everything Happens at 5:54 AM on June 10, 2016

If only I had a penguin...: "So I got through to the turing test with the toaster and did it 3 times without passing. I guessed that the thing that makes me most human is my legs, but I don't see any option for USING my legs. I assumed I might be able to walk away, but no such option. I see mention above of kicking the toaster, but I don't get that option. Is it because I was playing on my phone?"

Below the speech bubbles you'll get a white box like the one you use to walk around the city. Because it's an action, not something you say.

If only I had a penguin...: "Also, do you pass the first few tests, against the karate kids, the dog lover and Anthony Bourdain, no matter what you say?"

No. I failed my first match against Bourdain by not confusing him enough. Then you get a LOAD SAVE GAME prompt and a retry.
posted by brokkr at 6:31 AM on June 10, 2016 [1 favorite]

Delicious?
posted by leotrotsky at 6:49 AM on June 10, 2016 [2 favorites]

HAHAHA YES THIS IS CLICKHOLE GAME I TOO HAVE SEEN WITH MY EYE VIEWERS AND PLAYED WITH MY MEAT CLAWS.
posted by leotrotsky at 6:50 AM on June 10, 2016 [13 favorites]

Is it because I was playing on my phone?

>Why do you tell me you were playing on your phone now ?
posted by leotrotsky at 7:01 AM on June 10, 2016 [11 favorites]

I love the Loading... screens.
posted by Rock Steady at 7:18 AM on June 10, 2016 [1 favorite]

I got into an argument with a spambot once. It was in 2008 or so, on Livejournal, and the bot in question had been programmed with sentences skimmed from various forums. There was some sort of clever keyword search that allowed it to spew forth a few sentences in response to a post or comment that were marginally related to the subject, and this one happened to throw down a few sentences that spouted a popular opinion contrary to mine. So I replied to it, it dropped another few sentences that were slightly incoherent but not any more so than forums conversations I'd had, so I replied back, and it wasn't until the third response that I noticed they were all coming from different LJ accounts and twigged what must be happening. I was embarrassed enough that I deleted the whole conversation, and I wish I hadn't now.

I occasionally wonder if that meant it technically passed the Turing test.
posted by telophase at 7:55 AM on June 10, 2016 [1 favorite]

as a computer scientist i can confirm that this is indeed 100% the way the turing test works
posted by Conspire at 8:00 AM on June 10, 2016 [14 favorites]

Look: The Onion has - just a smidge - lost its edge. And 'has' as in years ago.
posted by kevathens at 9:43 AM on June 10, 2016

They're like Pitchfork: Cute, but not as intellectually relevant as they'd like to be.
posted by kevathens at 9:49 AM on June 10, 2016

Cute, but not as intellectually relevant as they'd like to be.

I kind of identify with that.
posted by Cookiebastard at 9:53 AM on June 10, 2016

But what if I don't want to be artificially intelligent? What if I am happy with the way I already am? Stop assuming everyone wants to live some pale shadow of your own life and just let me be me.
posted by ckape at 10:10 AM on June 10, 2016 [1 favorite]

That's the second time this week I've had to kick a toaster.

Hey, I thought these kind of slurs were not acceptable on MetaFilter?
posted by straight at 10:15 AM on June 10, 2016 [2 favorites]

I got into an argument with a spambot once...I occasionally wonder if that meant it technically passed the Turing test.

The Turing test isn't about whether humans will anthropomorphize and mistakenly attribute agency to things that have none. We do that all the time and always have. "Look, there's a face on my tortilla!" Thunder and lightning have frequently passed that sort of "Turing test."
posted by straight at 10:23 AM on June 10, 2016 [1 favorite]

A friend of mine recently created a bot like this. It sits in our Game of Thrones IRC channel and it responds only when you invoke its name, hodor. It has read all five books of a Song of Ice and Fire.

<hodor> She is crying, Jaime had ever touched those stony halls. Even the buildings grew. The man had to remind us, winter is truly her own, lacking only the one with three ships. A mate on the floor turned to glance at Ser Jorah. “No longer, Khaleesi. You shall not spare you the king’s laws. At times I swore. You heard me.”

<hodor> “Not yet,” Ned said. “Ser Robin, see that the Sailor’s Wife, who would die a man’s waist, its trunk so wide at its heart. Denyo might know, but Gilly said, “We have to be a fine trick, without a fee will be here when the foes too many. I am less certain. “One of seven,” she proclaimed in a tower cell.

<hodor> “All night, Your Grace.” She shrieked as the rowers pulled at a time.”
posted by rlk at 12:08 PM on June 10, 2016 [5 favorites]

<hodor> Hodor, hodor hodor hodor; hodor Hodor hodor. Hodor. Hodor hodor. Hodor? Hodor! Hodor hodor hodor.
posted by leotrotsky at 12:13 PM on June 10, 2016 [1 favorite]

Getting angle brackets to display in html is like trying to triforce. Hooray for the edit window!
posted by leotrotsky at 12:19 PM on June 10, 2016

That's the second time this week I've had to kick a toaster.

Hey, I thought these kind of slurs were not acceptable on MetaFilter?

Cylon Lives Matter!
posted by leotrotsky at 12:21 PM on June 10, 2016 [2 favorites]

You want hard? Try getting the code for generating angle brackets, i.e. "&lt;&gt;", to show up.
posted by tobascodagama at 1:00 PM on June 10, 2016 [9 favorites]

Really, if you're going to name the bot hodor, you should limit the corpus somewhat.
posted by ckape at 1:20 PM on June 10, 2016

rlk that's awesome. I haven't touched IRC in forever but I'd sign back up just to play with that bot.

The music is pretty neat. Definitely got that mid 90's futuristic adventure game feel.
posted by numaner at 4:14 PM on June 10, 2016

"the sugar and cinnamon together will make sure your dogs are quite thick and smooth"

ooooh so that's what I've been doing wrong, gotta stop using cumin in everything!
posted by numaner at 4:22 PM on June 10, 2016

>I got into an argument with a spambot once...I occasionally wonder if that meant it technically passed the Turing test.

The Turing test isn't about whether humans will anthropomorphize and mistakenly attribute agency to things that have none.

Yes, which is why it's a joke.
posted by telophase at 1:17 PM on June 11, 2016

I love how joyously happy the gym manager always is.
posted by Pfardentrott at 4:19 PM on June 11, 2016 [1 favorite]