I don't cut up women. I don't eat women, either.
April 28, 2017 4:44 AM   Subscribe

 
... a 35-year-old strip club-cum-steakhouse

They've got time for awful wordplay like this, yet they misspell the name of one of the venues the first two times it appears in the story? Nice priorities, Vice.
posted by tocts at 4:47 AM on April 28, 2017 [3 favorites]


In Portland, Oregon ...

Of course.
posted by Betelgeuse at 4:54 AM on April 28, 2017 [7 favorites]


...The Acropolis, a 35-year-old strip club-cum-steakhouse...

Ewwwwww!
posted by sour cream at 4:57 AM on April 28, 2017 [3 favorites]


And I'm thinking, You big muscular pussies! This is supposed to be Portland—the vegan capital of the United States—and you guys are too chicken to try the vegan chicken! No offense to chickens.

There needs to be the equivalent of sentence diagramming for the number of issues and assumptions packed in there instead of adverbs.
posted by middleclasstool at 5:03 AM on April 28, 2017 [21 favorites]


...The Acropolis, a 35-year-old strip club-cum-steakhouse...

Ewwwwww!

posted by sour cream


This thread just writes itself, man.
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 5:06 AM on April 28, 2017 [60 favorites]


About 15 years ago, I worked for a small software company in Cambridge, MA that got bought by a much larger company with an actual HR department. They came and did a sexual harassment training, which included a scenario where the office went for regular lunches at a strip club. Nobody could discuss the actual scenario because we were too busy marveling (in disgust) at a strip club that sold food.

I still think it's pretty gross, and nothing in this article did anything to change my mind (the salad bar! Jesus fuck!). Plus, truthfully, the Casa Diablo guy sounds like a prick who runs what you'd probably call a brothel anywhere else (a $500 lap dance, I'm guessing, takes great advantage of the "two-way-contact" laws). Which isn't to say that the rump-steak-and-rump-shake guys are model citizens, either, of course.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:14 AM on April 28, 2017 [6 favorites]


"I'm really into real estate; that's my main thing now. I want to build a vegan housing complex. I'd like to build a whole vegan city, maybe somewhere out in Willamette Valley."

I... I just... whaaaaaaaaat.
posted by Andrhia at 5:33 AM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]


I... I just... whaaaaaaaaat.
Dude thinks he's some sort of business genius, but really he just stumbled onto a business model that provides wish fulfillment for every dude who grew up fantasizing that one of the Suicide Girls would give him a handjob.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 5:39 AM on April 28, 2017 [10 favorites]


I want to build a vegan housing complex.

Soy x 4's?
posted by Thorzdad at 5:59 AM on April 28, 2017 [3 favorites]


The vegan flesh peddler—who says he "puts the meat on the pole, not the plate"—

Fuck this guy and fuck the author. I don't care how fucking clever you think you're being, you don't fucking refer to women as "flesh". People wonder why sex workers put up with harassment, its because the rest of the population doesn't see them as human.
posted by FirstMateKate at 6:05 AM on April 28, 2017 [59 favorites]


How can I enlighten people to veganism?

You big muscular pussies! This is supposed to be Portland—the vegan capital of the United States—and you guys are too chicken to try the vegan chicken! No offense to chickens.


Fail.
posted by Splunge at 6:08 AM on April 28, 2017


I suppose we need periodic reminders that lefty performing men are still frequently misogynistic as all fuck, but I wish they weren't so nauseating.
posted by schadenfrau at 6:20 AM on April 28, 2017 [48 favorites]


I think it's unfair to assume the dancers are participating in prostitution without proof.
posted by juniper at 6:24 AM on April 28, 2017 [4 favorites]


Saw the phrase vegan strip club, and knew exactly who and what was being talked about. Of course I have no idea how they managed to write this article without mentioning the fact that "Johnny Diablo" gradually evolved the vegan strip club concept because his pirate-themed vegan restaurant wasn't catching on, so he starting bringing in dancers.

As the pirate-themed element of the business gradually faded away, Pirate's Cove opened to capture Portland's now under-served horny pirate market.
posted by Naberius at 6:29 AM on April 28, 2017 [18 favorites]


Both men seem terrible. The vegan strip club owner slightly more-so.
posted by codacorolla at 6:34 AM on April 28, 2017 [2 favorites]


I want to know more about the DJ who got his foot cut off.
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:35 AM on April 28, 2017 [25 favorites]


Fuck this guy and fuck the author. I don't care how fucking clever you think you're being, you don't fucking refer to women as "flesh". People wonder why sex workers put up with harassment, its because the rest of the population doesn't see them as human.

Yeah, I mean, I've got a number of friends who have done various kinds of sex work over the years for a variety of reasons and honestly none of them have had anything good to say about guys who run strip clubs. Some clients are good, some are bad, most are indifferent, they say...but the guys who run those particular operations seem generally to be exploitative sleazes.

I do wish that more articles about sex work could be written by women, since most sex work is done by women; by sex workers or people who have had some experience with sex work, regardless of gender; or at least by people who bring some experience with high-intimacy, high-turnover gigs like waiting tables or care work. And I wish that they could center sex work as work instead of being a giggle-fest about sex. The parts where the actual dancers were talking about the work were the most interesting.

Also: I feel like as a society we sometimes try to draw a line between stripping and the kinds of sex work where you actually have sex with people - one is okay, the other is more degrading, we need to distinguish dancers from prostitutes, etc.

Something that surprised me in conversation with friends who had moved from stripping to having sex was that they all preferred the actual having sex. The pay was better, they could be more selective about clients, it required fewer hours to make a living, they didn't have creeps like strip club owners micromanaging them, concentrating on one person was better than working a room, etc. I'm not saying that everyone feels this way, but it was consistent among the people I know. Working in a "small business" situation either on their own or with a few other people was hugely preferable to strip clubs. There's some privilege inherent in being able to manage your life and find those options, but these are not, you know, affluent college graduates with start-up capital.

If anything, from what people say, you have more opportunity to build up friendly-professional relationships with those clients than in a club, so work can be a bit better that way.

So what I'm saying is that if someone is doing a $500 sexual service for a dude, to me the most important things are the conditions under which it happens and how much of the money the dancer gets to keep, not whether it's dancing or actual sex.
posted by Frowner at 6:38 AM on April 28, 2017 [53 favorites]


I used to have a food delivery job where we went to strip clubs pretty often. I tell you what's dismal: the guys who go there at lunch time.....I don't know if I can really justify that, but it seemed particularly bleak to be there at 11:30 AM. But the dancers tipped us really well.
posted by thelonius at 6:41 AM on April 28, 2017 [4 favorites]


Back when we lived in PDX and my wife was a first year medical resident - the nurses who worked nights would all go for breakfast at the Acropolis. My wife got invited along because she was A. not a dude, and B. they liked her. There was usually one or two dancers just sort of hanging around. When the nurses came for breakfast they'd sit and chat. If an early morning strip club patron showed up, the dancers would go change and get to work and then come back to chatting when done. Kind of like a slow morning in a diner, except with naked people.

The Acrop is a weird PDX institution - I think it might be open 24/7 - if not it's open very late and very early. A lot of EMTs and other folks who work weird shifts end up there getting take out. Yes. Really.

Oh! I worked nearby when the vegan strip club was a Pirate-themed vegan restaurant - so some friends and I tried it for lunch one day. Imagine going to Party City and buying a smattering shitty Pirate decorations and costumes. Imagine hanging up 2 or 3 "Pirates of the Caribbean" posters. Imagine shitty vegan knocks offs of pub food. It was lousy.
posted by device55 at 6:52 AM on April 28, 2017 [14 favorites]


There needs to be the equivalent of sentence diagramming for the number of issues and assumptions packed in there instead of adverbs.

That's what I think every time I hear Trump speak, and yet, I wouldn't wish this Lovecraftian toture-task horror show on anyone.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:55 AM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: Ewwwwww!
posted by JohnFromGR at 7:00 AM on April 28, 2017 [3 favorites]


First off, in a feud between Acropolis and anyone else, Acropolis wins. No argument. Until that guy dies.

Secondly, this quote:

What do I have to do to get guys to come in and eat? So I put up a stage. And I got some boobs up there. And you know what they say now? They say, "This is some of the best food I've ever had." It's the happiest place on earth. It's Disneyland with tits!

Thirdly, I was driving around with my daughter and she yells out, "Mom, there's a picture there of a woman with boobs!" I kind of look around but can't see what she sees and say, "Boobs? Or is she wearing a bra?" "Oh, I think a bra, why is it there?" And I say, "Well, it's either a fancy underpants store or it's literally selling anything else – sandwiches, tires, insurance...."
posted by amanda at 7:34 AM on April 28, 2017 [22 favorites]


I ate at the pirate themed restaurant before it was a strip club (it was not good) and I've watched dancers at the Sandy Jug which is now the pirate strip club. The building is shaped like a jug and thus I am mad about the name change.

Also the case Diablo 2 is a former Wendy's or some other fast food burger joint.

The Acrop has a delicious cheap gyro too. (There's a take out window and it's on the way to the big Goodwill outlet... convenient!)
posted by vespabelle at 7:44 AM on April 28, 2017 [3 favorites]


Saw the title, still freshly horrified from reading this tidbit, within the first linked article under the "Snitches get Witness Protection" FPP:

In WITSEC, one inspector for the Witness Protection Program recalls working with a former motorcycle gang member who murdered a woman and then “cut her open and put charcoal inside her to use as a grill.”

The VERY next thing I read, in the article linked here, happened to be: The vegan flesh peddler—who says he "puts the meat on the pole, not the plate"—

.
.
.

*deep breath, ragged exhale* yeah, that's quite enough Internet for today. gotta be some women's charities that need help...
posted by Amor Bellator at 7:53 AM on April 28, 2017 [19 favorites]


I was pretty surprised when I visited Portland by the number of strip clubs. I guess they must be illegal in my city, because as far as I know we have none. I'm curious what the zoning history or whatnot is in Portland that it has so darned many.
posted by latkes at 8:03 AM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]


I was pretty surprised when I visited Portland by the number of strip clubs. I guess they must be illegal in my city, because as far as I know we have none. I'm curious what the zoning history or whatnot is in Portland that it has so darned many.

Very strong "freedom of speech" protections that allow for more public nudity than many other places.

I ate at the pirate-themed restaurant years ago and within a week from then they brought in the strippers, and within a month everyone knew that the strippers were complaining about mistreatment. The whole "vegan scene" boycotted them after that.
posted by tofu_crouton at 8:15 AM on April 28, 2017 [4 favorites]


> I'm curious what the zoning history or whatnot is in Portland that it has so darned many.

Portland doesn't have the most strip clubs of any city in America. It is second after Houston. However, Houston being such a large city, Portland has far and away the most per capita.

And yes, it is pretty much impossible to talk about this, apparently, without Casa Diablo coming up. Because even in a place as weird as Portland, that's kind of weird.

As for why, the piece I linked seems to think it's primarily about zoning, as you suggest, and especially about a long established body of law that interprets the "free expression" clause in Oregon's state constitution very broadly indeed.

An implication is that it's not because Portlanders are necessarily more into strippers than people in other cities. It's just easier to run a club there. So other places would have more strip clubs if they could. They just can't.
posted by Naberius at 8:24 AM on April 28, 2017 [4 favorites]


Portland has a much different relationship with our exotic dancers. My experience has been upon meeting someone who does it- "Oh COOL- " and you continue on from there. There isn't that whole, you must be a whore kind of mentality. P-Land did bring us the World Naked Bike ride, so being nakkid doesn't have the same associations I think.

Plus I am the most feminazi out there, and I still want to go to the Acrop, if only to say I've been there.
posted by LuckyMonkey21 at 10:17 AM on April 28, 2017


I have no problem with exotic dancers. The owner, however, sounds like a fucking asshole.
posted by agregoli at 10:29 AM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]


Some clients are good, some are bad, most are indifferent, they say...but the guys who run those particular operations seem generally to be exploitative sleazes.

They're definitely pioneers of the independent contractor scam. I was kind of amazed to hear all the bullshit rules they ding dancers with while maintaining that they are not employees. e.g.
posted by atoxyl at 11:50 AM on April 28, 2017


And even when they're not inventing bullshit fines for bullshit rules, almost every club* is charging dancers for their time on stage. Every performer is paying for their time slot, and hoping to make it all back in tips.

*The only exception I've heard about in recent history was of clubs in boomtown Williston, ND who were so desperate for performers that they PAID them a nominal fee to show up.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 12:17 PM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]


Zukle: People say, "You don't exploit animals, but you exploit women." And my answer to that is humans don't exploit animals—we murder them. We torture and murder and eat them. Exploiting an animal would be like having a poodle, making it pretty and taking it to a competition to win fifty bucks. You might spend that fifty bucks on a dog toy—or you might spend it on marijuana for yourself. That would be exploitation.

Okay, so you do exploit women. Thanks for clearing that up.
posted by kafziel at 12:17 PM on April 28, 2017 [9 favorites]


That said, Portland seems (as mentioned above) to have some of the least dysfunctional strip clubs in the country. We announced our engagement to friends while brunching at the Acropolis. Good cheap steaks.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 12:19 PM on April 28, 2017


And even when they're not inventing bullshit fines for bullshit rules, almost every club* is charging dancers for their time on stage. Every performer is paying for their time slot, and hoping to make it all back in tips.

... this honestly had never occurred to me. Holy shit. Of course they are. What sleaze.

Surely it's possible to run a profitable strip club with ethical business practices?
posted by kafziel at 12:19 PM on April 28, 2017 [1 favorite]


... this honestly had never occurred to me. Holy shit. Of course they are. What sleaze.

And there are a bunch of schemes through which the club can claim a portion of tips or make dancers subsidize other employees out of their tips etc.

Surely it's possible to run a profitable strip club with ethical business practices?

A lot of clubs now are run by big chains which presumably do what they can get away with. There have been a bunch of class action suits but whether this has resulted in changes in policy or just limited payouts I don't happen to know.
posted by atoxyl at 1:03 PM on April 28, 2017


There needs to be the equivalent of sentence diagramming for the number of issues and assumptions packed in there instead of adverbs.

It's called lambda calculus, and it's part of semantics the way sentence diagramming is part of syntax. At least I think it is. I TA-ed that class without really understanding it, and while writing a thesis in which I declared truth-conditional semantics unimportant as a starting premise.
posted by WizardOfDocs at 1:04 PM on April 28, 2017


A lot of clubs now are run by big chains which presumably do what they can get away with. There have been a bunch of class action suits but whether this has resulted in changes in policy or just limited payouts I don't happen to know.

I should warn my link there is to a (Vegas) newspaper but does contain a somewhat work-questionable image.
posted by atoxyl at 1:15 PM on April 28, 2017


It's called lambda calculus, and it's part of semantics the way sentence diagramming is part of syntax. At least I think it is. I TA-ed that class without really understanding it, and while writing a thesis in which I declared truth-conditional semantics unimportant as a starting premise.

Hi yes this is more or less correct and also my favorite nerdy metafilter digression of all time.
posted by nebulawindphone at 2:19 PM on April 28, 2017 [5 favorites]


Just for comparison’s sake, Portland has more than twice as many strip clubs as it has public restrooms. !!

From the Business Insider piece on why there are so many strip clubs in Portland!
posted by latkes at 7:08 PM on April 28, 2017


Wasn't the Lusty Lady in Seattle supposed to have been (or maybe still is? Have no idea if they're still around) a relatively ethical business, owned by women?
posted by maxwelton at 7:09 PM on April 28, 2017


The Lusty Lady (RIP) was in SF and unionized and the collectivized before they went out of business (Pours one out...)
posted by latkes at 7:12 PM on April 28, 2017


Gone but not forgotten...
posted by latkes at 7:13 PM on April 28, 2017


The Seattle location preceded the SF location. They were both owned by the same people, but the SF location was the one that became a worker collective. They're both closed now. The Lusty Lady marquee was one of my favorite things about Seattle.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 7:10 PM on May 1, 2017 [1 favorite]


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