After the Vet

March 11, 2018 12:20 AM

my mom's cat was prescribed valium. now i get daily pictures of a cat who is high out of his mind
posted by spamandkimchi (45 comments total)

"Dog's not here, man"
posted by thelonius at 12:25 AM on March 11, 2018 [28 favorites]

Cheddar is completely out of his mind.
posted by hexaflexagon at 12:33 AM on March 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

The overnight vet photo. Has anyone seen the owner of that cat since?
posted by halcyonday at 12:48 AM on March 11, 2018 [16 favorites]

Doggo went under for surgery and now he is druggo

*snerk*
posted by Homo neanderthalensis at 12:53 AM on March 11, 2018 [5 favorites]

Porkchop is such an undignified name for a cat.
posted by Vesihiisi at 1:34 AM on March 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

god bless you for this
posted by Going To Maine at 1:42 AM on March 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

The source (?) of the cat.
posted by myopicman at 1:47 AM on March 11, 2018 [11 favorites]

o yas. yas indeed. I needed that :-)
posted by Joe in Australia at 3:56 AM on March 11, 2018

"and now he is druggo" BAHAHAHAHA
posted by divabat at 4:17 AM on March 11, 2018

my third cat (the one we've nicknamed the H-bomb) always looks like #3, with or without drugs.
posted by filthy_prescriptivist at 5:35 AM on March 11, 2018

My cats are usually just more pissed off than usual.

I remember one time the receptionist was all, "Do you, by any chance, have any... special technique for getting Mattie back into her carrier?" while a vet tech was struggling into what looked like falconer's gloves in the background.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:54 AM on March 11, 2018 [50 favorites]

The vet gave us Xanax for our cats when they were stressed out and fighting a couple of years ago. We tried one dose and it was the saddest thing. Stumbling around, trying to jump and failing, tumbling down the stairs, endless crying for food.

I couldn’t bear to do it again.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:03 AM on March 11, 2018 [9 favorites]

When we brought Dr. Cat back from the vet after being spayed, she took a couple of steps out of her carrier and just...fell forward and passed out on the floor. I lay there with her for a while. To be honest, it took a while to win her trust back after that whole thing, but we have devoted the subsequent seven years to gratifying as many of her whims as possible, so I'm hoping that she has forgiven us at this point. The drugs the vet provided us to give her were great - really helped the healing process compared to the bad old days of my childhood when animals didn't really get a lot of post-surgery painkillers.
posted by Frowner at 6:04 AM on March 11, 2018

My dog after each of his surgeries looked just scared, tired and hurt, mostly by what he must have perceived as betrayal on my part. I'm glad it's not always like this.
posted by hat_eater at 6:36 AM on March 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

oh h*ck
posted by phlyingpenguin at 7:22 AM on March 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

It seems like Porkchop’s caption is trying to imply they’re ok before and pissed after, but narrowed eyes on a cat usually means they’re relaxed. I’m pretty sure their expressions are more like “what’s going on?!” before and “i am so tired, relief, thank u” after.
posted by picklenickle at 7:44 AM on March 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

One of my cats is named Pork Chop. Forreal.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 7:47 AM on March 11, 2018 [9 favorites]

Poppy, my dog when I was a kid was the biggest wimp in the world, but pretty strong (she was some sort of bull-terrier/whippet cross, with possibly a hint of labrador). We used to take her to the vets to get her claws clipped, because, without sedation, it was simply impossible to get her to tolerate it without her doing damage to herself in her efforts to escape. We took her in one time and the vet rather condescendingly indicated that he didn't think sedation would be necessary, and that he thought (although he didn't say outright) that we were just being overly dramatic about the difficulty of clipping her claws.

Well, anyway, when she finally emerged, she was stumbling about to the extent she couldn't walk more than a couple of paces, eyes pointing in different directions, all that. Clearly drugged out of her mind. When we had a look at the discharge notes there was, along with the information on the drug they'd used an additional comment: "use additional sedation at next appointment".

She was otherwise a lovely and patient dog. My sister bequeathed my parents a Yorkshire Terrier (after adopting it from a shelter and then moving house to somewhere she couldn't keep it). The Yorky imprinted on Poppy and followed her around constantly, including climbing on top of her for a cuddle whenever she tried to go to sleep. Poppy bore this patiently for years, but I can't help but feel she would have liked some of that sedation to get to sleep most nights...
posted by howfar at 7:50 AM on March 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

This is about a cat who was in an accident. You've been warned.

One of our cats had an accident last Monday, and half of his tail had to be amputated. We have a very odd looking animal shuffling around the house now that he's again feeling well enough to walk around. He is wearing the dreaded Cone of Shame, to keep him from removing the stitches, and he keeps bumping it into things; at the other end, there is the weirdness of a tail that is very short and halfway shaved. The shaved part looks like a grey finger. Fortunately it's already growing some black stubble.
It's all kind of funny now that he's starting to feel happier and more like his old self every day.

We consider our furry friend to be very lucky because it could have been so much worse. He's never been much of a jumper, so I doubt he'll miss his tail very much. This is a pic of what he used to look like on a good day. Basically, his glamour shot.

The vet sent us a briefing about the aftercare, and it came with this picture, which looks uncannily like our cat does now.
posted by Too-Ticky at 8:12 AM on March 11, 2018 [5 favorites]

I gave Hannibal some gabapentin to try and calm him down for a bath and a 3+ hour car trip. But I wanted to test it out first to see if it was going to work. He was a bit stumbly, which made me feel a kind of horrible, but mostly he sat on the couch (once he made it up on the couch...you could tell it took him some extra mental calculation) and chilled.

Sadly it didn't chill him out enough for the bath and the car trip. I still have the physical scars and he still has the mental scars from the bath...and then he sang the songs of his people for most of the car trip. Which was unlike his adopted bro Fergus, who was so chillaxed in the car without drugs that I let him out of the carrier and just let him wander around. He looked out the windows a bit, but mostly just sat on the console between the seats next to me and happily purred his brains out while we listened to podcasts and ate Cheetos (okay only I ate the Cheetos).
posted by elsietheeel at 8:29 AM on March 11, 2018 [4 favorites]

I gave Hannibal some gabapentin to try and calm him down for a bath and a 3+ hour car trip. But I wanted to test it out first to see if it was going to work. He was a bit stumbly,

My Finn was also prescribed gabapentin for car rides. I tried him out on a half dose and was alarmed to see him attempting to walk sideways. Googling for "side effects gabapentin cats" I came across this advice:

"No stairs, no jumping, no driving for cats on sedative doses of gabapentin."

He wasn't happy I had to take his keys away.
posted by Preserver at 8:50 AM on March 11, 2018 [15 favorites]

Too-Ticky, I hope your cat's recovery goes well. Something to be on the lookout for: phantom limb syndrome. I knew a cat who went through a tail amputation and he experienced sensations that made him think someone was attacking his tail. He would whirl around and hiss at the invisible perpetrator. I believe treatment helped, but I don't know the specifics.
posted by carmicha at 9:21 AM on March 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

Pork Chop is a name you get when you let your three-year old name the cat (other names she was suggesting at the time were Joy and Brown Track Apple). Four years later, she named cat #2 Elizabeth.
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 9:29 AM on March 11, 2018 [6 favorites]

Now I want a cat just so I can name it Brown Track Apple. Or maybe a child.
posted by moonmilk at 9:47 AM on March 11, 2018 [5 favorites]

Porkchop is such an undignified name for a cat

I've heard worse. Like "Bootsie" or "Mr. Mittens."

I feel sorry for the latter one because I heard he was named "James Bond" at the shelter until he got home and there were small female children in the house. (Another example of this...) Mr. Mittens's owner has a security cam on him to check what shit Mr. Mittens gets up to during the work day because I gather he is cranky. I can't imagine why.

As for "Bootsie," I have never heard of any being called "Bootsie" that seemed happy about it. I can't help but think of reading The Cat Who... books and what happened when Polly insisted on naming her cat Bootsie. Bootsie was a creepy terror until he got renamed.
posted by jenfullmoon at 10:25 AM on March 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

I'm named after a cat I never got
posted by thelonius at 10:46 AM on March 11, 2018

I have never heard of any being called "Bootsie" that seemed happy about it.

Pfff, I know a cool cat named Bootsy.
posted by elsietheeel at 10:55 AM on March 11, 2018 [4 favorites]

Our cat is named after Bootsy Collins. We've had a series of cats named after musicians, and when this one arrived, his crazy-outsized face and tail fluff made us think of Mr. Collins' dramatic outfits.
posted by jocelmeow at 11:06 AM on March 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

Our cat is named after Bootsy Collins.

Bootsy's face markings make him look like a badger, at least from this angle :)
posted by Vesihiisi at 11:12 AM on March 11, 2018

tail fluff

Rub it in, why don't you.
posted by Too-Ticky at 11:17 AM on March 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

He's all one color, but there's so much ruff on him that where it thins out on the edges it looks different shades sometimes.
posted by jocelmeow at 11:21 AM on March 11, 2018

This hijacked my phone to some amazon gift card spam. Do I need to purge my phone now?
posted by PussKillian at 11:44 AM on March 11, 2018

Ah, alright. He's extremely handsome!
posted by Vesihiisi at 11:44 AM on March 11, 2018

This makes me sad and uncomfortable.
posted by Hermione Granger at 11:45 AM on March 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

You should hear the things that cats name us!
posted by Jacqueline at 12:15 PM on March 11, 2018 [3 favorites]

Thanks for this. I laughed until I cried. Apparently drugged out doggos are exactly my sense of humor.
posted by paisley sheep at 12:25 PM on March 11, 2018

Bootsy's face markings make him look like a badger, at least from this angle :)

BADGERS? BADGERS?! WE DONT NEED NO STEENKIN BADGERS
posted by entropicamericana at 12:27 PM on March 11, 2018 [1 favorite]

This also reminds me that when I used to work with dogs, one of our regulars had some health issues so he was on a lot of regular pain meds, and he was the sweetest, happiest, goofiest pup we'd ever met (even if he looked like a disaster because of his skin condition). We couldn't decide if that was his normal personality or all the tramadol.
posted by paisley sheep at 12:30 PM on March 11, 2018

My son's ESA is a cat we adopted from a nearby shelter. She's orange and was originally named CandyCorn. My son insisted her name was Pumpkin and they promised to make the changes in her paperwork and have her microchip updated.

Sometime later we had to take her to the vet and I had him check the chip to make sure there was follow through on the shelter's paperwork only to have the vet and nurse about kill themselves laughing.

"Professor Pumpkin Pants the Great Pumpkin Cat" is the best cat.
posted by 80 Cats in a Dog Suit at 1:48 PM on March 11, 2018 [16 favorites]

Obligatory stoned golden retriever
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 4:18 PM on March 11, 2018 [2 favorites]

As a general rule, my pets have always had human names. But you try looking a cat in his face that's completely midnight-black except for a thin, white milk mustache and glorious clumps of lush, bright, white whiskers springing from black cheeks and ebony brow, and telling him his name ISN'T Mr. Whiskers. He'll know it's a patent falsehood, and he'll lose all respect for you immediately.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 4:19 PM on March 11, 2018 [6 favorites]

I remember one time the receptionist was all, "Do you, by any chance, have any... special technique for getting Mattie back into her carrier?" while a vet tech was struggling into what looked like falconer's gloves in the background.

When Zach was neutered, my then-roommate and I went to pick him up the next day (I scheduled that for the day we were moving apartments, so he wouldn't be underfoot). We spent 15 minutes or so in the waiting room, watching all the other pets-being-brought-out moments - dogs were all on leashes, cats were already in carriers. Then, a tech came out of the back room with Zach under his arm, and the carrier in his other hand.

He let us say our hellos to Zach first, then put down the carrier and said "Okay. Zach is awesome. This is the best cat. We all love Zach. However, Zach has just one problem: we cannot get him into this carrier." My roommate and I immediately offered to help: it took the three of us a full fifteen minutes further to get him into the damn thing.

Even better was the time during the last 2 months of his life (a very long and noble life, may I add) when he actually beat up a vet. She'd taken him into a back room for a urinalysis and blood draw, and after only 90 seconds I suddenly heard him yowling and the vet hollering and another person calling "can I get some more techs back here?" followed by two people's footsteps as they ran to the backroom, then more human and feline yelling for about 90 more seconds. Then, silence for a couple minutes.

Then my vet came back into the exam room with me; she had Zach under one arm, her hair was mussed and her shirttail was untucked. She placed Zach on the exam table, then turned to me and with as much dignity as she could muster, she said, "....well, he certainly is fiesty."
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:41 AM on March 13, 2018 [4 favorites]

Related to stress more than drugs, I'd like to plug Fear Free Pets, which is an initiative/certification program primarily for vets/vet techs that educates on ways to mitigate fear at veterinary offices (looks like they're also expanding to owners and homes and such, too). When I learned about it, I actually ended up switching practices to one where all of their vets & techs are fear-free certified and it's a huge difference in attitude and experience.

At my fear-free-centric vet, they go out of their way to avoid stressful visits with their office design (no stressed-pet-on-stressed-pet encounters), processes (they'll stop, regroup, and take a different approach, whenever possible, if something is particularly difficult for my pup), liberal use of high-value treats, use of anxiety medication as needed, etc. In general, they have the attitude that a stressful visit is a problem unto itself and should be avoided as much as possible. It's a fantastic contrast from previous vets & vet techs, who would just power through my pets' fear if it didn't create an actively dangerous situation, thus compounding the issue.

If you go to a vet that isn't certified, perhaps suggest that they consider it - I think it's a really positive thing for all pets!
posted by mosst at 11:44 AM on March 13, 2018 [3 favorites]

Even better was the time during the last 2 months of his life (a very long and noble life, may I add) when he actually beat up a vet.

Sam was 19 years old and about 7 pounds when she bit through the soft tissue between the vet's thumb and forefinger. "Well, she's got good teeth for her age."
posted by The Underpants Monster at 3:34 PM on March 13, 2018 [1 favorite]

Prop the carrier up on end so that the door is facing up, tightly swaddle the cat in towel, slide lumpy towel into carrier, slam and latch door.
posted by Jacqueline at 4:39 PM on March 13, 2018 [1 favorite]