“Lord Ruthven and Varney were able to be healed by moonlight”
February 5, 2019 5:24 AM Subscribe
List of vampire traits in folklore and fiction is a Wikipedia page which exhaustively enumerates the appearance, weaknesses, supernatural powers, reproduction, feeding and setting characteristics of various fictional vampires, taking in everything from folklore and Bram Stoker, through video games like Touhou and Sims, to Twilight and Buffy. [via]
Wikipedia does some things better than any other encyclopedia.
Britannica's "The Walking Dead" episode summaries were pathetic
posted by thelonius at 5:37 AM on February 5, 2019 [24 favorites]
Britannica's "The Walking Dead" episode summaries were pathetic
posted by thelonius at 5:37 AM on February 5, 2019 [24 favorites]
Attractiveness: “Cartoon duck”
posted by oulipian at 5:48 AM on February 5, 2019 [8 favorites]
posted by oulipian at 5:48 AM on February 5, 2019 [8 favorites]
I doubt the assertion that Count Chocula turns to "chocolate cereal dust" comes from the primary source material, but I'm willing to accept it as canon anyway.
posted by tobascodagama at 5:48 AM on February 5, 2019 [27 favorites]
posted by tobascodagama at 5:48 AM on February 5, 2019 [27 favorites]
The colour-coding really makes it for me. At-a-glance vampire traits. I didn't even know I needed this.
posted by wellred at 5:52 AM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by wellred at 5:52 AM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
It is a very large list but my only complaint is that, as far as data presentation goes, it doesn't separate out the year or the nature of the source material (is it a comic book, movie, tv show, anime...) Also I had no idea Arithmomania was a thing other than for Sesame Street's Count.
posted by Ashwagandha at 6:25 AM on February 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by Ashwagandha at 6:25 AM on February 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
I prefer the TVTropes page, to be honest. It gives more colour and analysis, even if it comes across as less authoratative.
It's certainly more readable.
posted by YAMWAK at 6:33 AM on February 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
It's certainly more readable.
posted by YAMWAK at 6:33 AM on February 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
I doubt the assertion that Count Chocula turns to "chocolate cereal dust" comes from the primary source material, but I'm willing to accept it as canon anyway.
This is DEFINITELY not primary source material, but it is *a* source: Breakfast of the Gods, Book 3 (uh, spoiler alert I guess?):
posted by solotoro at 6:44 AM on February 5, 2019 [10 favorites]
This is DEFINITELY not primary source material, but it is *a* source: Breakfast of the Gods, Book 3 (uh, spoiler alert I guess?):
Like an overripe raisin, Chocula shrivels before their eyes. They watch as, hissing and growling, choking on an eternity of curses, the embodiment of their nightmares crumbles away into a pile of bones and cocoa dust.For the record I just searched out of interest, I didn't come into this conversation knowing about this comic. Which I feel is necessary to add here because I refuse to leave open the possible implication that I am ok with "overripe raisin" as a metaphor for anything.
posted by solotoro at 6:44 AM on February 5, 2019 [10 favorites]
Also I had no idea Arithmomania was a thing other than for Sesame Street's Count.
On the other hand, I managed to read the legends about forcing before to count a pile of grain while the humans escaped, without associating it with the Count. I wonder if someone at Seseme Street was aware of the legends, or if it was completely a pun on the name.
posted by happyroach at 6:46 AM on February 5, 2019 [5 favorites]
On the other hand, I managed to read the legends about forcing before to count a pile of grain while the humans escaped, without associating it with the Count. I wonder if someone at Seseme Street was aware of the legends, or if it was completely a pun on the name.
posted by happyroach at 6:46 AM on February 5, 2019 [5 favorites]
So this is what Sam and Dean have been consulting for the past 15 years! Men of Letters be damned
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 7:17 AM on February 5, 2019 [9 favorites]
posted by Suffocating Kitty at 7:17 AM on February 5, 2019 [9 favorites]
No Only Lovers Left Alive?
Also, seriously lacking Asian vampire folklore (as opposed to anime/games based mostly on Western tropes).
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:18 AM on February 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
Also, seriously lacking Asian vampire folklore (as opposed to anime/games based mostly on Western tropes).
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:18 AM on February 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
How hasn't this been wiped off the face of earth as Original Research
posted by Vesihiisi at 7:19 AM on February 5, 2019 [5 favorites]
posted by Vesihiisi at 7:19 AM on February 5, 2019 [5 favorites]
In short, your favorite list of vampire traits...
...
...
Sucks!
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:19 AM on February 5, 2019 [5 favorites]
...
...
Sucks!
posted by GenjiandProust at 7:19 AM on February 5, 2019 [5 favorites]
ctrl-f 'cronos'
ctrl-f 'livide'
ctrl-f 'the hunger'
Are they even trying?
posted by FatherDagon at 7:37 AM on February 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
ctrl-f 'livide'
ctrl-f 'the hunger'
Are they even trying?
posted by FatherDagon at 7:37 AM on February 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
Fred Clark (slacktivist) on whether vampires are vulnerable to crosses, arguing that symbols of self-sacrifice also work on oil company executives:
The one thing they're certain of, the thing that drives them and tells them who they are and how the world works and that they've got it all figured out is that the key to immortality is in choosing to be the predator rather than the prey. The idea that this might be wrong is so befuddling, so contradictory to everything they have chosen to be that it forces them to recoil.
...
A filigreed gold or bejeweled cross...sanctified symbols of power?
Crosses like that aren't the least bit disturbing to a vampire — they merely proclaim vampirism by other means.
Vampires and Crosses
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 7:42 AM on February 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
The one thing they're certain of, the thing that drives them and tells them who they are and how the world works and that they've got it all figured out is that the key to immortality is in choosing to be the predator rather than the prey. The idea that this might be wrong is so befuddling, so contradictory to everything they have chosen to be that it forces them to recoil.
...
A filigreed gold or bejeweled cross...sanctified symbols of power?
Crosses like that aren't the least bit disturbing to a vampire — they merely proclaim vampirism by other means.
Vampires and Crosses
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 7:42 AM on February 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
They also missed Abhay Khosla's Bram Stoker's Dracula. NSFW, btw.
posted by talking leaf at 7:52 AM on February 5, 2019
posted by talking leaf at 7:52 AM on February 5, 2019
I wish this included a category for "reaction to sunlight." There's such a range! Anne Rice's vampires need to be in deep darkness, Buffyverse vampires just need to be in the shade, Twilight vampires are safe in the sun, but sparkle. This seems like an important thing to know!
Edited to add: Silly me, I missed all the categories I needed to scroll right to see. Going back in!
posted by tangosnail at 7:54 AM on February 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
Edited to add: Silly me, I missed all the categories I needed to scroll right to see. Going back in!
posted by tangosnail at 7:54 AM on February 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
I just want to mention that Count Von Count has a blue checkmark twitter account, which is currently 2,184 tweets of him counting from 1 to 2,184.
posted by ckape at 7:55 AM on February 5, 2019 [14 favorites]
posted by ckape at 7:55 AM on February 5, 2019 [14 favorites]
I wish this included a category for "reaction to sunlight."
Check the sunlight column here. There are multiple tables in the wiki article!
posted by exogenous at 7:58 AM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Check the sunlight column here. There are multiple tables in the wiki article!
posted by exogenous at 7:58 AM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Also I had no idea Arithmomania was a thing other than for Sesame Street's Count.
I feel like the wonderful X-Files episode "Bad Blood" caught that aspect--they played it as obsessive-compulsive (the vampire having to stop and pick up all the sunflower seeds Mulder threw at him) but something in my brain swears that he was counting them while he did so.
This ep needs to be included in the list. As does the movie Near Dark--its omission really surprised me.
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:31 AM on February 5, 2019 [8 favorites]
I feel like the wonderful X-Files episode "Bad Blood" caught that aspect--they played it as obsessive-compulsive (the vampire having to stop and pick up all the sunflower seeds Mulder threw at him) but something in my brain swears that he was counting them while he did so.
This ep needs to be included in the list. As does the movie Near Dark--its omission really surprised me.
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:31 AM on February 5, 2019 [8 favorites]
Was a little surprised to see ? for "Film" for Ultraviolet. One of the key elements of this short but distinguished series (Idris Elba!) was that they cannot be recorded by electronic devices. This is useful (vampires evade video cameras), but also annoying (vampires can't use telephones; they have to resort to fax machines to communicate).
posted by SPrintF at 8:32 AM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by SPrintF at 8:32 AM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
Arithmomania is not a weakness it is a strength and I will count anyone who disagrees.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:45 AM on February 5, 2019 [12 favorites]
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:45 AM on February 5, 2019 [12 favorites]
If anyone knows how to edit that table, there was a Dark Shadows film...three of them in fact:
House of Dark Shadows, which is essentially Barnabas Collins as Dracula, with his arrival in Collinwood as told in the series. Since it was filmed during the series, Dan Curtis chose to make it non canon. Many of the series regulars were killed off in this film (but lived on in the series.)
Dark Shadows, the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp reboot that adds high camp and really does nothing for the memory of the original.
Night of Dark Shadows, a non-canon film that uses many of the same actors and some of the characters from the original series. It was supposed to continue the Barnabas Collins storyline, but Jonathan Frid was afraid of being typecast as the character, so it's pretty much newlyweds living in a house haunted by witches. Dan Curtis was forced to cut 1/2 hour of the film and was given only 24 hours to do it, so the film is a bit of an incoherent mess.
posted by jayb3369 at 8:51 AM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
House of Dark Shadows, which is essentially Barnabas Collins as Dracula, with his arrival in Collinwood as told in the series. Since it was filmed during the series, Dan Curtis chose to make it non canon. Many of the series regulars were killed off in this film (but lived on in the series.)
Dark Shadows, the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp reboot that adds high camp and really does nothing for the memory of the original.
Night of Dark Shadows, a non-canon film that uses many of the same actors and some of the characters from the original series. It was supposed to continue the Barnabas Collins storyline, but Jonathan Frid was afraid of being typecast as the character, so it's pretty much newlyweds living in a house haunted by witches. Dan Curtis was forced to cut 1/2 hour of the film and was given only 24 hours to do it, so the film is a bit of an incoherent mess.
posted by jayb3369 at 8:51 AM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
I love the trope in vampire fiction where the author has to make the rules slightly different so their vampires will seem more real (in contrast to all those fictional vampires who exist by other rules).
"Ha! You little fool! You thought you could stop me with a crucifix! Do you think I'm like something out of your silly Hollywood movies? Don't you know that reeeal vampires are only susceptible to curried watermelon?"
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:05 AM on February 5, 2019 [10 favorites]
"Ha! You little fool! You thought you could stop me with a crucifix! Do you think I'm like something out of your silly Hollywood movies? Don't you know that reeeal vampires are only susceptible to curried watermelon?"
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:05 AM on February 5, 2019 [10 favorites]
so the film is a bit of an incoherent mess.
It's dreamlike, certainly, but for me that's half the appeal. And I've never heard it described as non-canon. Both "House" and "Night" take place in a different timeline/universe from the TV series, that's for sure, but I can't see why "Night" couldn't take place in the same setting as "House," a few years later, given that almost everybody dies in the latter.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:12 AM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
It's dreamlike, certainly, but for me that's half the appeal. And I've never heard it described as non-canon. Both "House" and "Night" take place in a different timeline/universe from the TV series, that's for sure, but I can't see why "Night" couldn't take place in the same setting as "House," a few years later, given that almost everybody dies in the latter.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:12 AM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
"Varney the Vampire" is fascinating to read, despite being pretty terrible and incoherent. It was a serial, so the author probably responded to the reaction of readers, and as time went on, Varney became more sympathetic and comic, following the long subsequent cycles of how we've thought of vampires over time.
posted by acrasis at 9:15 AM on February 5, 2019 [4 favorites]
posted by acrasis at 9:15 AM on February 5, 2019 [4 favorites]
Appearance: V
Attacks: Claw 1d8, bite 1d8, drain life
Resistances: Sleep, poison
Weaknesses: Silver, garlic
Alignment: Chaotic
Abilities: Self-polymorph, flight, rock and roll
posted by sfenders at 9:25 AM on February 5, 2019 [5 favorites]
Attacks: Claw 1d8, bite 1d8, drain life
Resistances: Sleep, poison
Weaknesses: Silver, garlic
Alignment: Chaotic
Abilities: Self-polymorph, flight, rock and roll
posted by sfenders at 9:25 AM on February 5, 2019 [5 favorites]
Also I had no idea Arithmomania was a thing other than for Sesame Street's Count.
Another non-canon contribution: Count von Count suffers not from arithmomania, but arithmophilia (NSFW maybe?).
This one I did know about already. Everyone should know about this. Probably everyone already does, but there's never a wrong time to post this video.
posted by solotoro at 9:43 AM on February 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
Another non-canon contribution: Count von Count suffers not from arithmomania, but arithmophilia (NSFW maybe?).
This one I did know about already. Everyone should know about this. Probably everyone already does, but there's never a wrong time to post this video.
posted by solotoro at 9:43 AM on February 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
Saddened by no "The Stress Of Her Regard".
posted by The otter lady at 9:49 AM on February 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
posted by The otter lady at 9:49 AM on February 5, 2019 [3 favorites]
(Possible spoilers? But spoilers make up a lot of that linked wikipedia page.) I am not well-read in vampire lore so I don’t know how well regarded this is or isn’t by proper fans—but I adore the scientific truthiness of the Peter Watts Blindsight take on vampires. It’s included on that table, + it’s the first thing I searched for. The “crucifix glitch” + subsequent non-Euclidian drugs—and the prehistory and newly reintroduced relationship between vampires + humans—are inventive + overdone + delightful. It’s sort of plausible, internally consistent science—Watts has a biology background and an irrepressible urge to explain and footnote his worldbuilding—while also being totally bonkers and hilarious. It’s a combination Watts is so good at. Did I add enough plus signs there, I’ve never read of ampersands having any lasting deterrent effect
posted by miles per flower at 9:56 AM on February 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by miles per flower at 9:56 AM on February 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
No mention of Chinese vampires, who will stop chasing you to count grains of rice if you throw it in the ground, or the Japanese vampire women whose head and spine detach at night to feed on blood.
posted by rodlymight at 10:11 AM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
posted by rodlymight at 10:11 AM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
No Gautier ("La morte amoureuse", 1836)? No Peter Watts and the crucifix glitch?
Harrumph, says the Gothic pedant.
...but still, a rich, fun page.
posted by doctornemo at 11:11 AM on February 5, 2019
Harrumph, says the Gothic pedant.
...but still, a rich, fun page.
posted by doctornemo at 11:11 AM on February 5, 2019
20 years ago, I started a spreadsheet with a couple friends attempting to document this same matrix.
We didn't get very far. In our defense, we were ridiculously high.
posted by uberchet at 11:23 AM on February 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
We didn't get very far. In our defense, we were ridiculously high.
posted by uberchet at 11:23 AM on February 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
We didn't get very far. In our defense, we were ridiculously high.
and proof, if proof was needed, that Wikipedia does some things better thanany other encyclopedia. a bunch of high people with a spreadsheet.
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:43 AM on February 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
and proof, if proof was needed, that Wikipedia does some things better than
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:43 AM on February 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
I love the trope in vampire fiction where the author has to make the rules slightly different so their vampires will seem more real (in contrast to all those fictional vampires who exist by other rules).
Yeah, I didn't (obviously) go though every link on the "Our Monsters Are Different" TVTropes entry but was surprised to not see a listing for that variation of attempted verisimilitude by, "Oh, that's just fairy tales. Real vampires have reflections you can see in a mirror. Obviously."
posted by straight at 11:54 AM on February 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
Yeah, I didn't (obviously) go though every link on the "Our Monsters Are Different" TVTropes entry but was surprised to not see a listing for that variation of attempted verisimilitude by, "Oh, that's just fairy tales. Real vampires have reflections you can see in a mirror. Obviously."
posted by straight at 11:54 AM on February 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
Also I love this Jonathan Coulton song, Blue Sunny Day, which uses deliciously ambiguous language to be about either a man taking the first steps to overcome depression or a vampire committing suicide.
(With a nice bonus allusion to "The Nine Billion Names of God")
posted by straight at 12:01 PM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
(With a nice bonus allusion to "The Nine Billion Names of God")
posted by straight at 12:01 PM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]
In many of the more modern vampire mythos that I've come across, symbols of any religion work against vampires, as long as the person wielding it is a true believer. So, would it be possible for the vampires to create a fake religion where the symbols wouldn't work against them?
Or possibly they could take an existing religion, say one that exhorts followers to give up wealth and help strangers, and then corrupt it with greed and bigotry, would someone following the corrupted version still be able to use that religion's symbols to ward off vampires?
posted by ckape at 1:04 PM on February 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
Or possibly they could take an existing religion, say one that exhorts followers to give up wealth and help strangers, and then corrupt it with greed and bigotry, would someone following the corrupted version still be able to use that religion's symbols to ward off vampires?
posted by ckape at 1:04 PM on February 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
Back in 1999 a bunch of us were talking the future of vampires.
We were scholars meeting in Transylvania to discuss Dracula, of course.
The consensus was that vampires were played out. What would come next? Ghosts, most likely.
Yeah, not a good call...
posted by doctornemo at 1:07 PM on February 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
We were scholars meeting in Transylvania to discuss Dracula, of course.
The consensus was that vampires were played out. What would come next? Ghosts, most likely.
Yeah, not a good call...
posted by doctornemo at 1:07 PM on February 5, 2019 [2 favorites]
Ghosts could still turn out to be the next big thing. Or angels. Both of which could do with their own wikipedia feature matrix.
posted by sfenders at 4:45 PM on February 5, 2019
posted by sfenders at 4:45 PM on February 5, 2019
Does it make sense to classify the vampires of European and Asian folklore as variants of the same concept (vampires), or are they more separate subcategories under the category of undead (alongside zombies, liches and ghosts)?
posted by acb at 1:35 AM on February 6, 2019 [2 favorites]
posted by acb at 1:35 AM on February 6, 2019 [2 favorites]
or the Japanese vampire women whose head and spine detach at night to feed on blood.
While the Nukekubi does drink blood, I think the verdict is still out on whether that alone is sufficient to qualify as 'vampire' vs just a sanguineous spirit. Similar is the Penanggalan, a flying severed head with dangling organs behind that hungers for blood but is often the result of a curse rather than infectious pathology.
posted by FatherDagon at 7:47 AM on February 6, 2019 [1 favorite]
While the Nukekubi does drink blood, I think the verdict is still out on whether that alone is sufficient to qualify as 'vampire' vs just a sanguineous spirit. Similar is the Penanggalan, a flying severed head with dangling organs behind that hungers for blood but is often the result of a curse rather than infectious pathology.
posted by FatherDagon at 7:47 AM on February 6, 2019 [1 favorite]
While the Nukekubi does drink blood, I think the verdict is still out on whether that alone is sufficient to qualify as 'vampire' vs just a sanguineous spirit.
Is a vampire a sandwich?
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:17 AM on February 6, 2019 [4 favorites]
Is a vampire a sandwich?
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:17 AM on February 6, 2019 [4 favorites]
I feel like the wonderful X-Files episode "Bad Blood" caught that aspect--they played it as obsessive-compulsive (the vampire having to stop and pick up all the sunflower seeds Mulder threw at him) but something in my brain swears that he was counting them while he did so.
His utter annoyance with Mulder is one of my absolute favorite things in the X-Files. "What did you have to do that for?!"
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:45 AM on February 9, 2019 [3 favorites]
His utter annoyance with Mulder is one of my absolute favorite things in the X-Files. "What did you have to do that for?!"
posted by Pope Guilty at 11:45 AM on February 9, 2019 [3 favorites]
Gets soggy in milk. Mastication[citation needed]posted by rum-soaked space hobo at 8:53 AM on February 15, 2019 [1 favorite]
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posted by Kattullus at 5:25 AM on February 5, 2019 [1 favorite]