OFFICIAL TRAINING VIDEO

September 23, 2019 9:56 PM

Veterinary Technician Training: Handling a Fractious Cat
posted by Johnny Wallflower (43 comments total)

That's not what it says on the tin.
posted by Vesihiisi at 10:17 PM on September 23, 2019 [11 favorites]

I watched that with the sound off. I can’t imagine that it could improve.
A+ for vet techs.
posted by SLC Mom at 10:29 PM on September 23, 2019 [2 favorites]

A+ as usual, Mr. Wallflower. Hilarious!
posted by OneSmartMonkey at 10:35 PM on September 23, 2019 [3 favorites]

They might have mentioned something about their mission, but like SLC Mom, I watched without sound. For me the ENEMA SUCCESS at the end is an incredible twist. It's genuinely hilarious, but it's also super impressively committed. I love this
posted by asavage at 10:47 PM on September 23, 2019 [5 favorites]

I watched that with the sound off. I can’t imagine that it could improve.
Oh, but it does, SLC Mom. It really does.
posted by genuinely curious at 11:04 PM on September 23, 2019 [19 favorites]

The cat was really nimble for being so large and old. Seemed to like the enema.
posted by AugustWest at 11:05 PM on September 23, 2019 [6 favorites]

The upset cat sound is perfect.
posted by NorthernLite at 11:08 PM on September 23, 2019 [9 favorites]

Also, if you are into vets & cats videos, I present the Vancouver vet guy (& Mr. Pirate)..
posted by NorthernLite at 11:14 PM on September 23, 2019 [7 favorites]

I highly recommend with sound, if just to catch the camera person laughing at the end of some of the takes.
posted by muddgirl at 11:16 PM on September 23, 2019 [3 favorites]

But also yes the amazing performance from Mr. Feline is the #1 draw, sound and all.
posted by muddgirl at 11:17 PM on September 23, 2019 [1 favorite]

Not sure I believe that's a (thunder) cat, sounds more like a Snarf to me.
posted by symbioid at 11:23 PM on September 23, 2019 [3 favorites]

What are you missing with the sound off?

"ROWWR. ROWWWWRR!"

"Now that the cat... has been caught... we can... administer... the enema."

"ROOWWRR?!!" (escapes, jumps around room)
posted by JHarris at 12:24 AM on September 24, 2019 [11 favorites]

MetaFilter: really nimble for being so large and old. Seemed to like the enema.
posted by chavenet at 1:40 AM on September 24, 2019 [13 favorites]

My cat got up and left the room as soon as the meowing started. I'm not sure what that means.

I am super-impressed at the guy's jumping skills. I had to back up the video a couple of times to rewatch the part where she "lifts" him onto the exam table.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 2:59 AM on September 24, 2019 [13 favorites]

ENEMA SUCCESS

“Because failure is not an option.”
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 3:10 AM on September 24, 2019 [7 favorites]

ENEMA SUCCESS

And so Johnny Foulwater’s hidden* agenda is revealed!

* Hidden? Who am I kidding...
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:40 AM on September 24, 2019 [4 favorites]

The Fractious Cats is my new band name. First album: Enema Success!!
posted by Daddy-O at 3:53 AM on September 24, 2019 [9 favorites]

That fractious cat has some impressive parkour skills.
posted by Daddy-O at 4:01 AM on September 24, 2019 [8 favorites]

This is very funny. My wife was actually recently promoted to Head of Technician Training and Development at her hospital, so she will get a kick out of this.
posted by Rock Steady at 4:07 AM on September 24, 2019 [6 favorites]

We're gonna need a bigger blanket....
posted by TrishaU at 5:17 AM on September 24, 2019 [4 favorites]

I had to back up the video a couple of times to rewatch the part where she "lifts" him onto the exam table.

I never say this, but I literally did snort soup through my nose laughing when they did that bit. Warning: do not sup on soup while watching how to handle a fractious cat.
posted by taz at 5:23 AM on September 24, 2019 [5 favorites]

This is great.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:52 AM on September 24, 2019 [1 favorite]

Okay, that's great.
posted by rmd1023 at 6:50 AM on September 24, 2019 [1 favorite]

Holy crow, that was awesome. Thank you for the laugh!!!
posted by Gray Duck at 7:24 AM on September 24, 2019 [1 favorite]

I was worried that this might be one of those videos where a cat in distress was acting in some "hilarious" ways. But the cat clearly had a blast in his role.
posted by wotsac at 7:47 AM on September 24, 2019 [10 favorites]

A+ would adopt.
posted by iamkimiam at 8:32 AM on September 24, 2019 [3 favorites]

We had a cat that used to require enemas periodically - he had a disease called megacolon (seriously). He was indoor/outdoor and one time we had someone over to install internet service and I apologized for the giant cat poop that we encountered outside the back door. He said "That's from a cat?!?!"
posted by exogenous at 8:36 AM on September 24, 2019 [4 favorites]

This is a rare case of "do read the YouTube comments." A couple of my favorites:

"If the “cat” was truly committed to his role he would have sprayed the entire treatment area with urine and feces when you dragged him out of the kennel with that pole."

"Poor kitty needs a beer."
posted by biogeo at 9:06 AM on September 24, 2019 [6 favorites]

I couldn't find it in nearly 10 seconds of searching, but there's a similarly funny "If veterinary patients were human" video in which as soon as the vet touches the patient, the patient loudly proclaims I DON'T LIKE IT I DON'T LIKE IT and runs away.

There's something about the truthful simplicity of the statement that really tickles my funnybone.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 9:08 AM on September 24, 2019 [8 favorites]

Fractiousis a great word. Next up, how to handle a slithy tove.
posted by mbrubeck at 9:32 AM on September 24, 2019 [5 favorites]

Handling a frabjous cat would be lots more fun.
posted by chavenet at 10:06 AM on September 24, 2019 [2 favorites]

The best way to handle a slithy tove is with a gimbal lock.
posted by biogeo at 10:08 AM on September 24, 2019 [4 favorites]

I present the Vancouver vet guy (& Mr. Pirate)

That was lovely, thank you!
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:42 AM on September 24, 2019

I, too, was a little apprehensive because I was worried it might be a cat in actual distress. (Spoiler: no cats or vet techs were harmed in the making of this video.) And oh my god, I am so glad I clicked on it, because I laughed my ass off.

(Also, fractious cat, eh? At my old vet clinic they used to call them caution cats. I know because I had one. She was sweet as pie at home, weighed about eight pounds and only had three legs, but they routinely got out the plastic shield for her at the vet clinic. I bet she could have rivalled this guy’s parkour skills.)
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 10:43 AM on September 24, 2019 [1 favorite]

We've had a "fractious" cat for 15 years now, which has meant an extra $100 or so per check-up for sedation. It's only last week that we found the most incredible vet who can handle our cat without a problem. All the vet techs call her the "cat whisperer" and she definitely has a special touch.
posted by umbú at 11:23 AM on September 24, 2019 [3 favorites]

I caught a glimpse of my now-deceased Maine Coon's medical record at the vet and saw that they had marked him as "cranky". Truer words were never recorded.

He needed a yearly professional grooming due to mat-prone fur which he refused to let me brush for more than five seconds without attempting to shred whatever of my flesh he could reach. They usually had to sedate him in order to accomplish the haircut.
posted by Serene Empress Dork at 12:39 PM on September 24, 2019 [3 favorites]

How everyone is able to keep their comments clean amazes me - Bravo Mefites!

Meanwhile, I'll work on the fanfic version of this.
posted by helmutdog at 12:51 PM on September 24, 2019 [3 favorites]

Live from the next war: Operation ENEMA SUCCESS.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 12:59 PM on September 24, 2019 [3 favorites]

At my work we sometimes note on a blood pressure form "declined", and we don't mean the owner. Also we have a couple with "caution, no really" noted on their charts.

"If the “cat” was truly committed to his role he would have sprayed the entire treatment area with urine and feces when you dragged him out of the kennel with that pole."

Quoted for truth. Plus anal glands. Truly panicked cats can emit a stupendous amount of bodily fluids and seem to have antigravity technology.
posted by biscotti at 2:36 PM on September 24, 2019 [8 favorites]

Handling a frabjous cat would be lots more fun.

I am catsitting my next door neighbour cat this week. The cat is usually quite frabjous, but good lord was she fractious today. I blame this one her being two and presumably a sullen teenager in cat terms.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 4:53 PM on September 24, 2019 [2 favorites]

I’m surprised to see a professional looking veterinary hospital make such an obvious mistake, but...I’m pretty sure that “cat” was a man. A fractious man in need of an enema, sure, but still.

I have those same gloves for cutting my cat’s nails. She’s not fractious, she’s just an asshole about it.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 11:34 PM on September 24, 2019 [1 favorite]

If people acted like animals at the doctor
posted by embrangled at 12:10 AM on September 25, 2019 [1 favorite]

I found "Public Image" to be an effective soundtrack.
posted by sydnius at 5:05 AM on September 26, 2019