Goanna stuck atop radio tower offers poor reception to its rescuers

March 2, 2023 12:19 AM

Goanna stuck atop radio tower offers poor reception to its rescuers. After ascending 20 metres in a crane bucket to retrieve the unimpressed goanna, a local animal rescuer said it was one of the most unusual, if not highest, call-outs he has responded to.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries (26 comments total)

Goanna's gonna goanna, I guess.
posted by Paul Slade at 12:56 AM on March 2, 2023 [12 favorites]

Waiting for the lizard's bio, "I, Goanna"
posted by chavenet at 2:00 AM on March 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

Aww, he's just a little one.

I mean, he'd still kick the shit out of ya, but it'd be cute
posted by prismatic7 at 2:21 AM on March 2, 2023 [3 favorites]

Stand by, I’m monitoring the radio, over
posted by Fiasco da Gama at 3:07 AM on March 2, 2023 [10 favorites]

B'dum tiss.
posted by pompomtom at 3:17 AM on March 2, 2023

all i wanna do when i wake up in the morning is see your eyes - goanna, goanna
posted by pyramid termite at 4:33 AM on March 2, 2023 [5 favorites]

“The goanna has sunk its teeth into Terry for the third time. I’ll stay here in the jeep and keep watch, as this saga of the wild unfolds on Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom.”
posted by slkinsey at 4:50 AM on March 2, 2023 [7 favorites]

Never goanna leave you up,
Never goanna run and cower,
Never goanna leave you stuck on that tower...
posted by PlusDistance at 5:11 AM on March 2, 2023 [3 favorites]

Okay I had never heard of this kind of lizard before, despite my innate fondness for esoteric animals, so I looked it up and read about it’s name (derived from iguana) and you know how reading Wikipedia is because anyway now I after over forty five years on God’s* green** Earth† only today learned that there’s a thing called a possum that is different from an opossum.

* meh
** mostly blue I think?
† this is the important and accurate part. I guess I coulda just left out the other two dodgy parts of this saying
posted by aubilenon at 5:22 AM on March 2, 2023 [4 favorites]

anyway now I after over forty five years on God’s* green** Earth† only today learned that there’s a thing called a possum that is different from an opossum

Oh, my, yes!

Australia has 27 species of possum and glider
which includes big ones that eat small birds and eggs

and tiny ones that eat nectar and moths.


posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 5:43 AM on March 2, 2023 [4 favorites]

What's a goanna?
posted by Reverend John at 5:55 AM on March 2, 2023

What's a goanna?

$20, same as in town, Rev. John.

Also: "[MetaFilter] was a little bit toey. He never had to do anything like this before."
posted by wenestvedt at 6:16 AM on March 2, 2023 [5 favorites]

aubilenon: ...there’s a thing called a possum that is different from an opossum.

YOU LIE.

*pause* *doubt* *clickety-click*

Well, I'll be damned: possum versus opossum. (Also: so cute!)
posted by wenestvedt at 6:21 AM on March 2, 2023

What's a goanna?

A tree-climbing carnivorous reptile that can go really fast when it wants to. (One of the goannas is called the Racehorse Goanna).
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 6:33 AM on March 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

Some lovely related stories at the bottom of that one
- Goanna swallows six golf balls, mistaking them for eggs
- Goanna attacks elderly couple in 'horrific and freak ordeal'

(alternate name is "lace monitor"?)
posted by stevil at 6:40 AM on March 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

What's a goanna?

Here is David Attenborough with Australia's largest goanna species.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 6:44 AM on March 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

educational post! like others, not only did I learn of something called a "goanna" but also the expression "toey." Can't wait to use both in a sentence! (or maybe I can.)
posted by martin q blank at 6:52 AM on March 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

Lizards be lizards ... Whadya goanna do?
posted by ZenMasterThis at 7:14 AM on March 2, 2023

Whoa, that article about the elderly couple who defended their dog is wild:

"They will scratch your arms up, but the bite is far worse than any of the scratches, those razor-sharp teeth just open you up very, very easily."
...
Mr Ryan had one piece of advice for anyone encountering a goanna — "I would highly recommend leaving it alone".

They sound like like a leathery honey badger.
posted by wenestvedt at 7:55 AM on March 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

(alternate name is "lace monitor"?)

A lace monitor, or tree goanna, is a variety of goanna. This one’s probably a lace monitor (what with the climbing), but many Australians couldn’t immediately tell one from another. There’s about twenty five in Australia, from the huge Perentie (2.5 m) to the Short-tailed Pygmy Monitor (25 cm).
posted by zamboni at 8:11 AM on March 2, 2023

Wildlife Victoria officers were surprised when they received a call about a goanna nestled atop a radio mast 20 metres above the ground.

Well, you know, sometimes, weird things happen. Someone has to deal with it. And who you goanna call?
posted by The Bellman at 8:33 AM on March 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

And who you goanna call?

Goanna Busters!
posted by wenestvedt at 8:59 AM on March 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

Came for the Toto reference, left with bonus RickRoll
posted by Greg_Ace at 9:47 AM on March 2, 2023 [3 favorites]

(Also: so cute!)

...yeah, not when they take up living in your roof and eating all your lemons. Wee bastards.
posted by pompomtom at 2:44 PM on March 2, 2023 [2 favorites]

Poor old thing, what nice people getting it down. But yeah goannas are said to be very cranky, do not boop.
posted by Coaticass at 9:38 PM on March 2, 2023 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: said to be very cranky. Do not boop.
posted by Paul Slade at 11:56 AM on March 4, 2023