France reclaims the title for World's Longest Baguette

May 7, 2024 6:50 AM

At an incredible 461 feet (140.53 meters), the baguette baked on Sunday, May 5 has officially exceeded the previous record held by Italy. The municipality of Suresnes now holds the Guinness World Record. (SLNYT)
posted by donut_princess (29 comments total)

This is no time for Italy to get crusty. The knead to stop loafing around and rise to the challenge.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 7:11 AM on May 7 [6 favorites]

Laying claim to the longest baguette requires pain staking efforts.
posted by zamboni at 7:14 AM on May 7 [17 favorites]

At last their long national nightmare is over.
posted by gc at 7:15 AM on May 7 [5 favorites]

Thank god, I haven't slept in months!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 7:15 AM on May 7

Holland and Belgium once competed over the title for world's largest desem but the competition ended after a few years. It bred too much animosity.
posted by elkevelvet at 7:25 AM on May 7 [1 favorite]

The quest for the longest baguette is one of unending pain.

(Thx Zamboni for the better part of this joke)
posted by Pickman's Next Top Model at 7:26 AM on May 7 [5 favorites]

It's rare to see the French stick it to another nation.
posted by Molesome at 7:42 AM on May 7 [1 favorite]

This is the strangest d*ck measuring contest I've heard of (lately)
posted by SonInLawOfSam at 7:44 AM on May 7 [2 favorites]

And it's deep, too!
posted by chavenet at 7:48 AM on May 7 [3 favorites]

I read that, and thought 451 feet isn't really all that much altitude. So, I'll go have some coffee now.
posted by theora55 at 8:00 AM on May 7

The technology required (an oven you can simply feed the baguette through with it emerging baked on the other side) surely has no theoretical limit. You could be making more dough continuously and adding it to the uncooked end forever.
posted by Phanx at 8:01 AM on May 7 [8 favorites]

This is starting to feel like an XKCD What If question. A theoretical unending baguette would either need to start projecting into space if it is to remain straight, or else curve along the surface of the Earth. Is there any regulatory guide as to the maximal angle a baguette can have before it is considered some other kind of baked good?
posted by notoriety public at 8:05 AM on May 7 [7 favorites]

Yeah, what's the upper limit? I assume it sort of boils down to where can you arrange nearly a tenth of a mile (or longer) of countertop space to receive the baked baguette? Or does it sort of boil down to how long the boulangers can keep kneading the dough and how much pre-prepped dough they could line up, etc etc etc? When does additional staffing merely increase overhead instead of productive output? If they had another 4 people preparing the dough, could they have gone for a truly unassailable 500' baguette? I mean, it looks like bulk flour is under $1/lb, so expenses of the raw materials probably isn't the limiting factor.

I need more detail, NYT!
posted by Kyol at 8:25 AM on May 7 [2 favorites]

I would set a limit when your initial heel end starts going stale.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 8:32 AM on May 7 [5 favorites]

The technology required (an oven you can simply feed the baguette through with it emerging baked on the other side) surely has no theoretical limit. You could be making more dough continuously and adding it to the uncooked end forever.

Assuming you want to lay it flat on the ground in a single layer:

Earth's Surface Area = 4π(6371)² km²
1m of baguette (assuming 5cm width) = 0.05 m² = 0.00000005 km²
Total Length (in meters) of baguette = Earth's surface area / surface of 1m of baguette = aprox. 1.02×10¹⁹

So, not forever, but a lot of baguette.
posted by signal at 8:41 AM on May 7

Hmmm yes, Italy, you have been measured and found WANTING!
posted by lalochezia at 8:49 AM on May 7

Most amusing! You all have a rye wit!
posted by SPrintF at 8:51 AM on May 7 [1 favorite]

Ok, I made a big sandwich and had a few slices with dinner, but it’s the next morning and now I have 459.5 feet of rock-hard baguette. Dear AskMe …
posted by caviar2d2 at 8:59 AM on May 7 [5 favorites]

Dear AskMe …

This, in a larger baking dish.
posted by BlueHorse at 9:20 AM on May 7 [1 favorite]

Do the rules allow for baguette breakage? If not I think once you build your infinite table, your next problem is how you slide the baguette down the table without it falling apart. Even with a high gluten flour, bread is not known for high tensile strength.

FWIW traditional baguettes are about 60cm long and weigh about 250g. This record baguette is about 15,000cm long or 250 normal baguettes, so would weigh 62 kg or 132 pounds. (I don't know how to square that with the reported 200 pounds of flour used to make the record.)
posted by Nelson at 9:24 AM on May 7

There's always a simpsons
posted by lalochezia at 9:25 AM on May 7

(I don't know how to square that with the reported 200 pounds of flour used to make the record.)

I'm guessing it has to be a bit thicker than normal for structural reasons.
posted by mumimor at 9:55 AM on May 7

Even with a high gluten flour, bread is not known for high tensile strength.

How dare you question the crustiness of the French baguette!
posted by ssg at 9:56 AM on May 7 [1 favorite]

Prehistoric megapana died out for the same reason there aren't hippo-sized insects: they couldn't move.
posted by aws17576 at 9:59 AM on May 7 [1 favorite]

This record baguette is about 15,000cm long or 250 normal baguettes, so would weigh 62 kg or 132 pounds.

That’s a big Twinkie baguette.
posted by notoriety public at 10:04 AM on May 7 [3 favorites]

Previously: How much flour would it take to turn Lake Superior into bread?
posted by dephlogisticated at 10:14 AM on May 7 [4 favorites]

I feel like this should be hanging out of the world's largest grocery bag, being carried by the world's tallest 80's movie protagonist.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:50 AM on May 7 [2 favorites]

Baguette Space Elevator is my new band name
posted by credulous at 12:33 PM on May 7 [1 favorite]

It sounds like they fed the dough into a rolling oven. Like the original cigarette rolling machine, it should therefore be possible to make a continuous baguette, and simply cut it to the correct length. This is obviously a good idea with no downsides and not even the French could object to it.
posted by ockmockbock at 3:52 PM on May 7