Bicycle safety on the Planet of The Apes

December 12, 2002 7:32 PM

One Got Fat "Somewhere along the line, a cute little safety movie for the kiddies turned into a dark journey through a grotesque nightmare world of misshapen monkeys in stupid hats." - Scott Munro
posted by quonsar (20 comments total)

"Slim knew that his big sack would be hard to handle"

Totally classic.

I want my 15 minutes back.
posted by lazaruslong at 7:42 PM on December 12, 2002

Oh man that's was great. Thanks Q.

You need to get a license and registration for a bike?
posted by riffola at 7:44 PM on December 12, 2002

And it looks wonderful on my brand new 17" imac!
posted by MiguelCardoso at 7:59 PM on December 12, 2002

That was wonderful. I loved how the remaining kids just kept riding merrily along (accompanied by really bad music) while their comrades were getting run over by trucks and flattened by steamrollers.

Love the movie's search keywords, too: Bicycles; Safety: Bicycle; Animals: Apes.
posted by iconomy at 7:59 PM on December 12, 2002

god, the noise filbert made when made when he got smooshed turned my freakin' stomach, dude!
posted by mcsweetie at 9:48 PM on December 12, 2002

Right? Riiiight.
posted by eddydamascene at 10:37 PM on December 12, 2002

Did you notice the origin of Devo's Booji Boy in there? He was the fat one holding hands to face as he and the other one rode into a manhole. I think there's some influence on the Devo video aesthetic as well.
posted by UlfMagnet at 10:54 PM on December 12, 2002

Devo?v#BLORT.
posted by eddydamascene at 11:10 PM on December 12, 2002

Wow. Just... wow. The boiiiiing sound and pop as they are eliminated is eerie.
posted by eyeballkid at 11:11 PM on December 12, 2002

Someone call the humane society. Those poor monkeys.

That was terrifying. I'm not going to sleep well tonight. Thanks for that horrifying link.
posted by dazed_one at 11:24 PM on December 12, 2002

[this is scary]
posted by condour75 at 12:38 AM on December 13, 2002

There's something very Hitler youth about that montage at the end (13:41), where Orv is demonstrating the hand signs. *shivers again*
posted by eddydamascene at 1:55 AM on December 13, 2002

*shivers a third time*
(14:06) Narrator: "Of course, Hitler's very lonely".
[exceeds posting limit, logs out]
posted by eddydamascene at 2:04 AM on December 13, 2002

There's something very Hitler youth about that montage at the end (13:41), where Orv is demonstrating the hand signs eddydamascene :
You've got to be kidding. You must see that in damn near everything then.
posted by HTuttle at 2:54 AM on December 13, 2002

It's so great to hear Edward Everett Horton again. He narrated fractured fairy tales on Rocky and Bullwinkle, a key childhood influence for me. I think I'd be a different person if he hadn't taught me that "the moral" of a story should always be synonymous with "the punch line."
posted by putzface_dickman at 4:26 AM on December 13, 2002

Well I certainly feel safer.
posted by Songdog at 7:27 AM on December 13, 2002

Aside from the blatant monkeyism, I think what got to me most was the brief shots of faces in anguish and terror, their bulging eyes almost popping from previously empty sockets ... [shudder]
posted by Songdog at 7:34 AM on December 13, 2002

Those creepy, staring eyes; the nasty spleches as they got done for; the humanity of it all!

Eraserhead and aspects of Brazil, rolled into one.
posted by ashbury at 8:09 AM on December 13, 2002

Patently false anti-ape propaganda!
posted by anathema at 8:18 AM on December 13, 2002

I think Chuck Heston should make a gun safety movie like this.
posted by condour75 at 12:29 PM on December 13, 2002