"Like the Fist of God, We Will Smash Them"

June 1, 2005 3:03 PM

"Together, you and I will destroy the gays." United American Technologies telemarketers sell their phone service as a Christian alternative to gay-loving rivals like ATT and MCI. Eugene Mirman recorded a few of their calls. More on United American Technologies here.
posted by LarryC (30 comments total)

Double post. Womp womp.
posted by Hot Like Your 12V Wire at 3:07 PM on June 1, 2005

Duoh! I searched I swear...

*slinks away, hoping for a fast and merciful deletion*
posted by LarryC at 3:11 PM on June 1, 2005

Where's the double post, 12v?
posted by boo_radley at 3:29 PM on June 1, 2005

Calling out a double post without linking to the original?

Fucking lame. Womp womp.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 3:32 PM on June 1, 2005 [1 favorite]

Sadly hilarious. Especially tape number 3. (Double post or not)
posted by Carbolic at 3:34 PM on June 1, 2005

AT&T sells sex favors?!?!?!
posted by mrgrimm at 3:38 PM on June 1, 2005

"Double post. Womp womp"

You are so grounded.
posted by I EAT TAPES at 3:41 PM on June 1, 2005

Tape 2 made me spew my drink laughing... I'm almost scared to listen to tape 3.

(The ending of the first one, though, the last 1/2 second was beautiful.)
posted by socratic at 3:41 PM on June 1, 2005

Are they mad future robots?

Exactly.

Amoral ... godless ... sex ... hello?

Hilarious.
posted by mrgrimm at 3:41 PM on June 1, 2005

Seriously.
WTF is going on with these people. To expend so much time, energy and money on such out-of-control hate. Sorry for being so naive, but...I just don't understand putting soooo much effort into stuff like this. I mean...what's the payoff for them? Are they simply so incredibly blinded by some promise of salvation?
posted by Thorzdad at 3:49 PM on June 1, 2005

"GAYT&T?!?!"
posted by afx114 at 3:51 PM on June 1, 2005

Thorzdad writes "WTF is going on with these people. To expend so much time, energy and money on such out-of-control hate. Sorry for being so naive, but...I just don't understand putting soooo much effort into stuff like this. I mean...what's the payoff for them?"

Basically this is a company looking for customers, and they figured they could build a customer base based on those customers' hate. Perhaps they managed to hire some true believers to man the phone lines, but all in all this is just another corporation selling its soul for the almighty dollars; they just stoop considerably lower than most in their quest to worship Mammon.
posted by clevershark at 3:54 PM on June 1, 2005

clevershark has hit the nail on the head.

thats all i can say, i'm laughing so hard i'm shaking.
posted by nola at 3:59 PM on June 1, 2005

the Marvelous Crooning Child?
posted by First Post at 4:01 PM on June 1, 2005

See I told you that the hi-tech industry and gayness weren't connected!
posted by Pollomacho at 4:38 PM on June 1, 2005

Like the fist of God we shall smash them!!!
posted by UseyurBrain at 5:23 PM on June 1, 2005

"Like God we will fist our enemies!.. oh wait, that didn't come out right..."
posted by clevershark at 5:34 PM on June 1, 2005

AT&T sells sex favors?!?!?!

Considering that they've been charging me and the mrs. for services we never ordered for months (long story), I'd say yes, they enjoy sodomizing the populace.
posted by jonmc at 6:12 PM on June 1, 2005

Where is the first post of which this is a supposedly a double?
posted by eustacescrubb at 6:16 PM on June 1, 2005

I don't think it is a double, 12V was too quick to call it out and I was too quick to assume he or she was right.
posted by LarryC at 6:23 PM on June 1, 2005

they figured they could build a customer base based on those customers' hate

Hey, what's wrong with Swastikas in your Alphabits?
posted by dreamsign at 6:24 PM on June 1, 2005

Hey, what's wrong with Swastikas in your Alphabits?

Mmmm, Genocide Crunch.
posted by jonmc at 6:25 PM on June 1, 2005

Guess this triple is really only a double. Sigh. We were so close to a front page hat trick.
posted by shoepal at 6:25 PM on June 1, 2005

"the gay shadow government..." I love it. Not only is there a "homosexual agenda", but now there's a shadow government, too.
posted by fossil_human at 7:15 PM on June 1, 2005

Eugene Mirman is a great comic genius and you should all go see him if you get the chance. My favorite joke of his contains the line "I read that 100% of Americans were Asian," but I will not ruin it by saying any more.
posted by escabeche at 8:36 PM on June 1, 2005

Calling out a double post without linking to the original?

Fucking lame. Womp womp.

http://www.metafilter.com/mefi/41907
posted by Hot Like Your 12V Wire at 9:08 PM on June 1, 2005

Escabeche: Society's got a long way to go.
posted by Remy at 5:41 AM on June 2, 2005

Thanks 12V, it seems I am guilty after all. In my defense, the earlier post linked to a different URL, so that did not show up in my searches, nor did "Eugene Mirman" or "United American Technologies." Ah well.
posted by LarryC at 6:56 AM on June 2, 2005

Hello am new here. what does womp womp is? thanks you i am first postal! hi to mark howwie!
posted by the quidnunc kid at 9:10 AM on June 2, 2005

Oh my goodness, I actually beat someone to the punch - by like a month! Metafilter is like my own personal Old News Baby service...

I'll just sit here and do my "cool kid" hipster dance :)
posted by shoppingforsanity at 12:23 PM on June 2, 2005