curse that jack of diamonds

September 7, 2005 4:43 PM

Lessons from British folk songs
posted by kenko (19 comments total)

Avoid situations where the obvious rhyme-word is “maidenhead.”

Durn tootin'.
posted by freebird at 4:46 PM on September 7, 2005

Funny and true.

There is a legitimate idea in folklore that many of the murder ballads, specifically the man-killing-woman murder ballads -- functioned as a form of socially sanctioned birth control. You can't grow up listening to Pretty Polly and then think it's a smart idea to follow your boyfriend into the woods.
posted by Miko at 4:57 PM on September 7, 2005

If you are physically unable to get pregnant due to being male, the girl you had sex with will get pregnant. No good will come of it. You’ll either kill her, or she’ll kill herself, or her husband/brother/father/uncle/cousin will kill you both. In any case her Doleful Ghost will make sure everyone finds out. You will either get hanged, kill yourself, or be carried off bodily by Satan. Your last words will begin “Come all ye.”

No kidding. Man, if I had a sixpence for every time that happened...
posted by kosher_jenny at 5:24 PM on September 7, 2005

Tres drole, mon ami.
posted by rdone at 5:30 PM on September 7, 2005

"Sharing a boyfriend with your sister is a bad plan."

That one seems to apply to the murder ballad classic Wind and Rain.

There were two sisters gone walking side by side
Oh the wind and rain
The one behind pushed the other one in
Oh the dreadful wind and rain

Johny gave the youngest one a gay gold ring
Oh the wind and rain
Didn't give the other one anything
Crying oh the dreadful wind and rain

So she pushed her into the river to drown
Oh the wind and rain
And watched her as she floated down
Crying oh the dreadful wind and rain
posted by chowder at 5:47 PM on September 7, 2005

I was disappointed - there was nothing in there about being sent to Australia for petty crimes.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 5:51 PM on September 7, 2005

You know, if I knew more British folk ballads, I'd probably get the joke a lot better.
posted by Balisong at 5:54 PM on September 7, 2005

Balisong, try this album out. I didn't think I was going to like it, but it's surprisingly good.
posted by Doug at 6:15 PM on September 7, 2005

I was disappointed - there was nothing in there about being sent to Australia for petty crimes.

Actually, if you read the comments it turns up there.
posted by kayjay at 6:22 PM on September 7, 2005

Actually, if you read the comments it turns up there.

sure, but they don't use the magic words "transportation" or "van diemen's land"....
posted by dorian at 6:52 PM on September 7, 2005

chowder: it's a reference to "Two Sisters".
posted by kenko at 7:13 PM on September 7, 2005

Don't go with anyone called Gypsy anything.
posted by jessamyn at 8:53 PM on September 7, 2005

chowder and kenko: "Two Sisters" and "Wind and Rain" are different versions of the same song!
posted by bubukaba at 10:40 PM on September 7, 2005 [1 favorite]

Don't believe everything you hear in the folk ballads.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:33 PM on September 7, 2005

Avoid situations where the obvious rhyme-word is “maidenhead.”

But had I remembered my ear trumpet,
I never would have stayed in bed,
For the girl, alas, was a strumpet,
And, to boot, was an Iron Maiden-head.

Traditional, c.1975

posted by pracowity at 12:41 AM on September 8, 2005 [1 favorite]

doug (and anyone else interested)

here's a couple of free Alasdair Roberts mp3z, courtesy of epitonic. (not from the album linked, but excellent nonetheless).
posted by johnny novak at 2:00 AM on September 8, 2005

You can't beat a bit of Martin Carthy for all your English folk needs, in my opinion.

I'm also a big fan of Seth 'recorded in his kitchen for £300' Lakeman, who was nominated for the Mercury Prize. I've tried Alasdair Roberts and didn't like it that much.
posted by Summer at 2:06 AM on September 8, 2005

Miko writes "There is a legitimate idea in folklore that many of the murder ballads, specifically the man-killing-woman murder ballads -- functioned as a form of socially sanctioned birth control. You can't grow up listening to Pretty Polly and then think it's a smart idea to follow your boyfriend into the woods."

Hey, I resemble that remark! Excellent link.
posted by OmieWise at 5:52 AM on September 8, 2005

Brilliant. Thanks, kenko.
posted by Shane at 8:05 AM on September 8, 2005