They Otter Just Give Up

November 16, 2005 8:39 AM

We all know that otters are terminally cute (warning: streaming WMV), but the Federal Government is only just now figuring out that they're also smarter than humans give 'em credit for. And they have no respect for the poor widdle shellfish industry. No respect at all. Awww.
posted by Gator (27 comments total)

Four and a half years previously.
posted by Gator at 8:40 AM on November 16, 2005

happy otter and the prisoner of bashtheclam
posted by Pretty_Generic at 8:45 AM on November 16, 2005

PG that might even be funnier than the "it's dark in the watergate" one

i can't stop laughing
posted by poppo at 8:49 AM on November 16, 2005

I think we have no option but to erradicate the entire species. It's for the good of humankind.


"It comes down to a philosophy of, what do you believe in? Do you believe in animals or do you believe in human beings?" said Robert S. Juntz Jr., president of the Sea Urchin Processors Association and owner of a processing plant in Mendocino County that employs about 45 people.
posted by batou_ at 8:55 AM on November 16, 2005

From the ucdavis link:

Note: The sea urchin industry has promised funding assistance to further research and management efforts.

There's a sea urchin industry? Huh. I guess people will eat anything.
posted by GuyZero at 8:55 AM on November 16, 2005

I think it's safe to assume that all animals are smarter than humans give them credit for.
posted by dobbs at 8:57 AM on November 16, 2005

"Do you believe in animals or do you believe in human beings?" - Robert S. Juntz Jr.

Leading the charge for full seperation of animal and human. Oh Toto, it's not just Kansas anymore.
posted by CynicalKnight at 9:10 AM on November 16, 2005

Hairy Otter souvenirs were quite popular last time I was in Monterey.
posted by howling fantods at 9:21 AM on November 16, 2005

"I wanna be an otter..." (Real Media file - from Too Much Joy's album Green Eggs and Crack)
posted by candyland at 9:27 AM on November 16, 2005

(Fresh) Sea urchin are teh yummy. I don't blame otters for liking them.

Then again, if otter eat yummy food, does that make otters yummy?
posted by PurplePorpoise at 9:29 AM on November 16, 2005

No, it make otter yummy.
posted by Pretty_Generic at 9:31 AM on November 16, 2005

There's a sea urchin industry? Huh. I guess people will eat anything.
posted by GuyZero at 10:55 AM CST on November 16

Obviously you've never watched Iron Chef. Those fuckers put sea urchin roe in everything.
posted by dios at 9:42 AM on November 16, 2005

Dennis Leary:
There's the problem, right? We have these little cute pangs in our bellies because we're human beings. That's how we decide which animals to save. It's all a matter of how cute they are. "Oh, look at the baby seals with the big brown eyes and the furry little fur. Don't do anything to them. Leave them alone." "But the cows are big and dumb and stupid. Fuck them. Let's eat them all. C'mon. Let's make jackets out of what's left over. C'mon." We might as well just have animal auditions and line them up one by one and judge them individually.
"What are you?"
"I'm an otter."
"And what do you do?"
"I swim around on my back and do cute little human things with my hands."
"You're free to go."
"And what are you?"
"I'm a cow."
"Get in the fuckin' truck, okay, pal?"
"But I'm an animal."
"You're a baseball glove."
"I'm an animal."
"You're a hat. Get on that truck. You cow. What do you think we called you a 'cow' for?"
posted by dios at 9:46 AM on November 16, 2005

Yeah, otters are so smart.
posted by nowonmai at 10:01 AM on November 16, 2005

Otters are assholes. They eat beaver babies. Male otters will mate with unwilling females by biting their nose so they can't get away, sometimes ripping the nose off.

And yet, I just can't stay mad at that cute little face!
posted by jrossi4r at 10:09 AM on November 16, 2005

MetaFilter: You're a hat.
posted by grabbingsand at 10:10 AM on November 16, 2005

At the risk of proving Denis Leary right, that OtterCam (the "cute" link with the streaming video) at the Monterey Bay Aquarium is seriously adorable. Just in the last couple of hours, I've tabbed over there and seen the otters being fed, otters wrestling, otters curling up to snooze in the little wading pool, otters frolicking in the spray while the keepers hose down their living space, and otters playing tug-of-war with the artificial kelp the keepers provide. Cuteness overload.
posted by Gator at 10:26 AM on November 16, 2005

Who can argue against the wisdom of Dennis Leary?
posted by batou_ at 10:27 AM on November 16, 2005

nowonmai's pic is awesome, not least because it reminds me of a certain picture of #1.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:34 AM on November 16, 2005

Is that an obese otter in nowonmai's pic?
posted by PurplePorpoise at 10:54 AM on November 16, 2005

Otters are assholes. They eat beaver babies.

Those would be river otters. Where I live, river otters are recolonizing some small streams and eating baby nutria, which were introduced half a century ago and are considered a pest.
A coworker was telling me yesterday about a river otter he saw grappling with a steelhead bigger than the otter, and finally, after several tries, subduing it and towing it away.

Humans seem to occupy the same niche on the food chain as sea otters. I am not sure what to do about that. If I were a fisherperson, I would be very conflicted.
posted by Danf at 10:58 AM on November 16, 2005

posted by Josh Zhixel at 11:04 AM on November 16, 2005

Nowonmai, is that one of the otters at the Ecotarium? That enlclosure looks familiar. Then again, it's a freakin' otter enclosure. How different could they be???
posted by Biblio at 11:31 AM on November 16, 2005

Nowonmai... thanks for my new desktop.
posted by AspectRatio at 12:05 PM on November 16, 2005

"On the other hand, I haven't been a bad sort in my way, so I think I may count on being a nice animal, something elegant and lively, with a love of fun. An otter, perhaps."
posted by Catch at 12:42 PM on November 16, 2005

I started laughing when one of the links had an "Otter Shop" with the tagline: "Adopt an Otter (Goods sent within 24 hours)".
posted by keijo at 1:55 PM on November 16, 2005

I know nothing about origins of the picture I posted; it was linked to in the b3ta.com newsletter as the final word in an ongoing argument about whether sloths or otters were the better animal. Sorry!
posted by nowonmai at 7:56 PM on November 17, 2005