what a bunch of dicks

April 15, 2006 9:06 PM

Swine penis. Swine Penis. Swine penis. Penis whine. Penis wine. [a little nsfw]
posted by jessamyn (49 comments total)

Ha!
posted by cortex at 9:09 PM on April 15, 2006

I've been looking, for some time, on the internet on any sort of information on how to enlarge my penis. Thank you.

http://small-penis-size.us/
posted by thanatogenous at 9:13 PM on April 15, 2006

Excellent use of the micropenis tag. Bravo!
posted by Jimbob at 9:14 PM on April 15, 2006 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: Swine penis.
posted by fatbobsmith at 9:16 PM on April 15, 2006

This has been Penis Week at Metafilter.
posted by horsewithnoname at 9:16 PM on April 15, 2006

Well, this is unusual.
posted by delmoi at 9:17 PM on April 15, 2006

This admin stuff must be stressful business.
posted by Devils Slide at 9:28 PM on April 15, 2006

I didn't notice the micropenis tag. Now, my username will forever be associated with micropenis. Great.
posted by horsewithnoname at 9:37 PM on April 15, 2006

Please, no jokes about this weekend's various faiths and their dietary restrictions. </praeteritio>
posted by vitia at 9:37 PM on April 15, 2006

I was afraid of that. Very Afraid.
posted by shnoz-gobblin at 9:42 PM on April 15, 2006

the nest to the last link talks about Army Worm wine, which was quite popular when the army worms where around... ok not popular, but notorious. I am, at most twice removed from the fellow that made the stuff.

When the army worms are thickest they can cause car accidents by being so thick on the roads you skid when trying to stop... skidding on worm guts.
posted by edgeways at 9:43 PM on April 15, 2006

WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.
DRUNKEN PHALLIC OBSESSIVE SYNDROME?
posted by moonbird at 9:49 PM on April 15, 2006

Frog Penis!


There, I've said it.
posted by soyjoy at 9:50 PM on April 15, 2006

nest = next , of course. Did you research these links or just come across them randomly and saved them up?
posted by edgeways at 9:50 PM on April 15, 2006

I wouldn't hazard a guess as to jessamyn's exposure to penises today, but I think her exposure to wine is fairly obvious.
posted by Ynoxas at 10:02 PM on April 15, 2006

Tsk. Don't you know it's never wise to throw penis before swine?
posted by Zinger at 10:03 PM on April 15, 2006

Did you research these links or just come across them randomly and saved them up?

Isn't it obvious that jessamyn was researching the traditional three-penis wine for her easter festivities and just chanced on the related links? Sheesh. What beverage is traditional where you live?
posted by madamjujujive at 10:13 PM on April 15, 2006

FUN FACT: In hummingbirds, there is no penis, so copulation consists of the touching of the tips of the cloacas of the two mating birds. (Source)
See also "tilting at windmills."
posted by rob511 at 10:17 PM on April 15, 2006

What beverage is traditional where you live?

And what music?
posted by homunculus at 10:29 PM on April 15, 2006

This was funny!
Rubber boot, for scale!!
Mugwump!!!
posted by the Real Dan at 10:29 PM on April 15, 2006

In case you're curious, pig penis pics (NSFW, or your brain).

I'm better than the Cecil of 22 years ago, nyah nyah.
posted by jewzilla at 11:19 PM on April 15, 2006

Just remember, all pig penises are ultimately the proterty of Monasanto.
posted by homunculus at 11:39 PM on April 15, 2006

Monsanto. Please don't sue me.
posted by homunculus at 11:42 PM on April 15, 2006

jessamyn must be as drunk as I am (of course, based on her responses to the "increase the size of my cumshot" AskMe, she's one dirty librarian!). I don't understand this- this isn't the best of the web, this is the best of searching google for penis and swine.... I hate these multi-link posts, they make no sense. Whatever happened to thesis + supporting links, as opposed to hive-link that means... nothing, nothing.
posted by hincandenza at 12:00 AM on April 16, 2006

Whoever is supposed to be servicing jessamyn is obviously either not doing their job or doing it too well.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:11 AM on April 16, 2006

I find it interesting that only now after looking at jewzilla's link and seeing a pig's reproductive organs cut up and on display do I feel bad for eating pork.

And I may as well put in my buddy's favorite line when his agreement with an idea should have been obvious, "is a pig's pussy pork?"
posted by Jawn at 12:23 AM on April 16, 2006

the third 'swine' link could be considered NSFW.
posted by delmoi at 12:46 AM on April 16, 2006

I agree with hincandenza.
posted by blacklite at 1:29 AM on April 16, 2006

Well, I don't know what I was expecting, but I still feel violated.

(The person who discovers how to scrub images from your brain will make a small forture from Mefites alone)
posted by Davenhill at 2:36 AM on April 16, 2006

I like the boot included in this pic for scale. (nsfw; gross. duh)
posted by beerbajay at 5:06 AM on April 16, 2006

Why penis?
posted by Drexen at 5:15 AM on April 16, 2006

Penis is a significant thing. I do not blame her for choosing it as her topic.

That is all.
posted by GooseOnTheLoose at 5:29 AM on April 16, 2006

There be things in this world I'll never understand...this post be one of them...

I'm going to get some breakfast now...
posted by HuronBob at 5:31 AM on April 16, 2006

Cecil is aware that in humans the penis does not penetrate the cervix, but as should be obvious by now, there are many differences between human and porcine sexual practices, the principal exception being a girl I met in St. Louis in 1974. But I digress.

I love The Straight Dope.

And this post. Suck it, haters!
posted by languagehat at 6:27 AM on April 16, 2006

elpapacito: Dr.Freud, do you think that all this penis writing and picturing is a conscious projection of envy of penis or maybe a katarsis of penis obsession vented by requesting for penis , schlong, mammeluk ?

Dr. Freud : psycobabblle ! Shagged she wants to be !
posted by elpapacito at 6:43 AM on April 16, 2006

I had never heard of penis wine before today and wanted to share, naturally. And I'd heard lots of stories about pigs and their corkscrew shaped phalli and never actually seen a picture of one before. If you think this is just the result of Googling for pig penises, you are sadly mistaken. Try it yourself. When you are not at work, that is.
posted by jessamyn at 6:47 AM on April 16, 2006

penis wine ? :D
posted by elpapacito at 6:57 AM on April 16, 2006

Ops forgot to mention Dr. Gunther Von Hagens. If you are interested into a dissection showing the real lenght of human male penis (thus reducing once and forever lenght-of-penis problems) you should rent or buy his documentaries.
posted by elpapacito at 7:12 AM on April 16, 2006

I loved the whine link. So much insanity.
posted by CunningLinguist at 7:49 AM on April 16, 2006

Which penis wine would go well with my dick cheese?
posted by horsewithnoname at 7:53 AM on April 16, 2006

Only two posts this morning have interested me, penis wine and the big bang. I need more coffee.
posted by mischief at 8:17 AM on April 16, 2006

In case you're curious, pig penis pics (NSFW, or your brain).

Also in first link of FPP.
posted by LinusMines at 8:34 AM on April 16, 2006

I suck and deserve to die.
But you can't blame me for not wanting to click that link.
posted by jewzilla at 9:41 AM on April 16, 2006

My Small Penis Size Issue
Intoxicated Every Area Of My Life!

heh.
posted by scody at 10:17 AM on April 16, 2006

After the inflate-a-penis, I will never ever click another MetaFilter link marked "penis."
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:48 AM on April 16, 2006

Well, that was certainly a veritable sausage fest.
posted by PurplePorpoise at 4:26 PM on April 16, 2006

This joke will work exactly once.
posted by knave at 7:04 PM on April 16, 2006

In Russia, fake penis taste you!
posted by OmieWise at 8:43 AM on April 17, 2006

So I'm refusing to click on the links, because they're all penis links and I have learned my lessonl thereby completely missing the fact that one of the links was to one of my blogs.

And now I'm typing my belated discovery into a long-abandoned thread.
posted by Astro Zombie at 2:15 PM on April 29, 2006